AES Ch2.1

‘Is falling down a habit of yours?’

‘Only when you’re there to catch me.’

As usual, a movie was playing in the van. This time, it was a Disney-produced musical. The film list, altered by Hyeonghun, was filled with director Jung’s quirky and clever film recommendations. Such movies should naturally be enjoyable, yet the interest just wouldn’t stick. Perhaps life in general was just unexciting.

With no interest in the movie, other thoughts crept in. Like the back view of Ryu Sihyeon during a phone call. It was a scene that captured people’s attention with just a back view, and no matter what, it couldn’t be forgotten. Maybe it was because it was that sincere. The problem was that very few people got to see such a side of Ryu Sihyeon.

Of course, Seo Heetae was not included in that group.

That day, the true front view of Ryu Sihyeon was hardly seen. All there was, was the moment he turned back with a relaxed smile while holding a cigarette. That image of rubbing the cigarette into the ashtray on the table played on repeat like a film.

On the way home from the airport, Heetae searched for articles featuring Ryu Sihyeon. Although he knew there would be little information, there was nothing else to do on the way home anyway. Most of Ryu Sihyeon’s recent interviews were about his newly released movie. There were hardly any mentions of his private life, with the focus strictly on the movie.

Curiosity piqued about just how extraordinary that movie was.

The next day, Heetae took a hibernating Shin Chaeyeon out late at night to see a movie. The destination was Apgujeong TCE, and the movie they were going to watch was “Four Seasons, Seoul, 1983” starring Ryu Sihyeon. On the way to the Apgujeong movie theater, Shin Chaeyeon recited high ratings from critics, raising their expectations, but Heetae remained indifferent. It seemed contradictory to feel resistance from the start, especially since he was the one who suggested watching it.

During this time, a call from Jung Kiyeon came in. Jung Kiyeon, who rarely called, seemed suspicious, so Heetae answered it. He got straight to the point without any preambles.

“Heetae, have you read the script I sent you?”

Sounding slightly drunk, his drawn-out voice echoed in the car. At the same time, there was an alarming amount of energy in his voice.

“Yeah.”

“What do you think?”

“The journalist role seems pretty good.”

“The one with 10 minutes of screen time?”

“Yes, like Joaquin Phoenix in Hotel Rwanda.”

“You crazy bastard…”

Heetae calmly replied to Jung Kiyeon, who was mumbling.

“Hey, Kiyeon, I’m sorry, but bring something more interesting. Nothing is entertaining these days.”

“If you don’t like it, at least introduce Juhee to me. I’ve already promoted around that Juhee sunbae is doing it. Please.”

“You’re quite funny, walking around and talking like that. You’ll ruin everything.”

Shin Chaeyeon chimed in from the side. As she was right, Heetae didn’t side with Jung Kiyeon. Then, after a moment of thought, Chaeyeon spoke again.

“Oppa, you seem too high right now. Isn’t it time to take your medicine?”

With a worried look, she asked, and then another question came from the speaker.

“Who are you talking to?”

A new person suddenly joined the conversation. Jung Kiyeon spoke to someone next to him.

“Heetae. Chaeyeon is here too.”

“Oh. Hey guys, hello.”

It was Shin Minwoong. He hadn’t seen him since taking Ryu Sihyeon to the hospital.

“Are you two together?”

Chaeyeon asked cheerfully. Minwoong was Shin Chaeyeon’s cousin and they had been close friends for a long time.

“Yeah. Kiyeon came to the shop. The opening is soon.”

“We’re going to watch a movie starring Sihyeon.”

“Oh, Ryu Sihyeon? How is he doing?”

“Oppa, do you know Sihyeon?”

“He came to our hospital.”

“When?”

“Was it the end of last year? He said he fell somewhere.”

“Oh, that time? Thank you very much.”

“It’s nothing. Celebrities are just celebrities. His skin was nice, and he was handsome.”

Listening to the conversation, Heetae laughed at that and replied.

“You watched him very diligently for such a short time.”

“Haha, it’s because he was a patient.”

“Has he returned to the hospital since then?”

“No. Anyway, he’s fine.”

…Why does the memory of Ryu Sihyeon crying on a cold night come to mind when someone says he’s fine?

“You said there was a pin in his hand. Is that okay?”

“Oh, that. It was from an old surgery anyway. You must be really close with him? Worrying and all.”

Suddenly, Jung Kiyeon grumbled in a sulky tone.

“Guys, no more talking about Ryu Sihyeon.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He ignores me so much. If I send a message, it takes about ten hours for him to reply.”

“Maybe he doesn’t like you.”

“Hey, I’m serious. This is the first time I’ve been treated like this. Normally, people would be dying to act close to me because of my dad. …Anyway, he is not like a typical actor. He’s a very peculiar guy.”

It was definitely strange, and Heetae was equally puzzled. At least, an actor would highly value a connection like Jung Kiyeon. Does he believe in his own abilities enough?

“Anyway, is the store opening the day after tomorrow?”

“Haha, yes. Kiyeon came to check out the interior and menu in advance. I didn’t call you guys because I thought you’d be busy. Be sure to come when we open. Jaeyoung wants to see you. And if possible, bring some SNS-celebrity actors for promotion.”

That gave Heetae a funny idea, making him smile.

“We can go with the drama actors.”

Then a genuinely happy voice said, “Wow, can you really do that? Jaeyoung loved <Thirst>. She’ll be thrilled.”

“Oh… That’s a good idea, Seo Heetae,” Heetae said with his usual smile, looking at Chaeyeon.

“Can you gather some people?” Shin Chaeyeon loved this kind of event and was good at gathering people. If asked, she would handle it well.

Naturally, Shin Chaeyeon didn’t refuse and started contacting several people after the call ended. While diligently using her phone, she murmured, “But Sihyeon might be too busy to come these days.”

“He’s the lead, he should come.”

“True. It would be disappointing if Sihyeon couldn’t make it.”

Heetae glanced at Chaeyeon with suspicion because of her friend’s sudden cheerful tone.

“Why are you so happy?”

“Because having Sihyeon there livens up the atmosphere. Always smiling. As you said, he’s not timid at all.”

“Oh, I did say that.”

Now, he couldn’t be sure about that previous judgment. It seemed true that Ryu Sihyeon matched the atmosphere well and behaved without causing any friction, but that was just him being polite. It was difficult to tell if the real Ryu Sihyeon was timid or sociable.

Chaeyeon, who had to act on her thoughts immediately, called Ryu Sihyeon straight away. But all she got was a dial tone.

“He’s not answering.”

Fifteen minutes later, Chaeyeon called again. She was persistent with things like this and kept calling if there was no answer.

“It’s late at night, take it easy,” Heetae pretended to advise, knowing that one sentence wouldn’t stop her anyway.

Although Ryu Sihyeon didn’t answer, Chaeyeon, driven by her competitive spirit, was unstoppable. Whether he had another schedule or was sleeping, Heetae wondered why he didn’t answer the call. If he was deliberately avoiding Chaeyeon, it made no sense.

It’s understandable to drift away from actors one doesn’t work with. But keeping in touch with writers and directors was essential for career growth. No matter how good-looking or talented one was, having or not having those connections made a world of difference. Not utilizing connections like Shin Chaeyeon and Jung Kiyeon was foolish. It was either stupidity or sheer lack of thought.

Ryu Sihyeon finally answered Chaeyeon’s call after Heetae was seated in the theater.

“Yes, Sihyeon.”

Chaeyeon’s lively voice was heard from the side.

“No, my sister-in-law is opening a shop. We’re inviting the cast of <Thirst>. It’s a fancy French place, all free, free. How about this weekend?”

After saying that, Chaeyeon murmured, “Ah.” Her disappointed voice implied that Ryu Sihyeon had declined.

“Then when are you available? Oh, really? That’s too bad. Alright, see you next time.”

The call ended quickly. Putting her phone into her bag, Chaeyeon stated the obvious outcome, “He’s busy with the movie.”

Of course, he would be. Heetae’s curiosity about just how impressive that movie was grew stronger. When the theater lights dimmed, Heetae looked straight at the screen.

The logo of “Arte Cinemapic” appeared on the screen. Arte Cinemapic was a business division that cousin Yoon Dahui had diligently worked on to capture loyal film enthusiast customers and enhance the company’s image. It mainly invested in and distributed low-budget or art films.

Thus, Ryu Sihyeon’s previous words about not doing independent films, which led to rejecting Director Choi’s script, were also lies. It was amusing. How could one make him speak only the truth?

In the movie, Ryu Sihyeon played Kim Youngho, the protagonist’s son. He was a university student involved in student activism, occasionally playing the guitar and singing. He was good enough to be a singer. However, the songs he sang, the books he read, and the meetings he attended all became issues, leading to his abduction to Namyeong-dong. In this film based on true events, Kim Youngho was subjected to very realistic torture.

It was enough to make one frown. Especially the shot of Kim Youngho’s hand being stepped on by someone else’s foot. It was hard to watch with open eyes. Heetae hoped that hand was a double’s, but he knew those neat fingers belonged to Ryu Sihyeon. He was reckless even before <Thirst>, leaving his previously operated left hand untreated.

As known, the unjustly tortured Kim Youngho died mid-film. Naturally, his death served as the protagonist father’s awakening tool.

The movie quickly became uninteresting. Heetae carefully observed Ryu Sihyeon’s face appearing in occasional flashbacks on the screen. He hadn’t started watching this movie with a generous heart, but seeing Ryu Sihyeon playing a decent university student, he felt a different emotion, like arriving at a new destination.

Kim Youngho, smiling kindly throughout, was a good and trustworthy young man. Seeing that, Heetae thought that maybe the real Ryu Sihyeon was a trustworthy person too. It was a ridiculous thought, but the movie’s Ryu Sihyeon was unbelievably cute. Seeing his singing skills, it seemed he was good at everything except math. The idea that his inability in math was also cute came to mind.

Leaving the theater, Heetae sent Ryu Sihyeon a message saying the movie was great. He didn’t mention the gathering Chaeyeon spoke of. If Ryu Sihyeon heard Seo Heetae was attending, he might not want to come. It was clear that Ryu Sihyeon was keeping his distance from Seo Heetae.

“Chaeyeon.”

“Yes?”

“About Ryu Sihyeon, just mention again how good the movie was and bring it up.”

“Should I?”

“He hasn’t given a definite answer for the next season, right?”

“Oh? Right, he hasn’t. Now that you mention it.”

“See? If you don’t hold onto him now, it might slip away.”

“Yeah. That would be bad.”

“So do your best.”

Shin Chaeyeon was a person with a clear sense of purpose, so it was easy to get her moving. The remaining issue was Ryu Sihyeon. He was truly outside of Heetae’s control, and somehow, he wanted to bring him into his grasp.

Ryu Sihyeon’s response didn’t come until after he dropped Shin Chaeyeon off at home and went to bed. He received the reply in the morning, at four in the morning to be exact. As expected, it was a simple “Thank you.” Reading those five characters slowly, Heetae could somewhat understand Jung Kiyeon’s feelings. It was frustrating to see him blatantly trying to distance himself, and the feeling of being drawn into his orbit was also not very pleasant. He couldn’t understand why he always experienced new things when involved with Ryu Sihyeon.

Of course, life doesn’t always go as one wishes. Knowing that, Heetae had never obsessed over problems he couldn’t solve, but this time was an exception. It was strangely vexing and bothering him. Perhaps because he had never been backstabbed like this before.

That night, he recalled Ryu Sihyeon smoking. He wasn’t smiling brightly, but his face looked calm and relaxed. He thought if he could see that face again and have sex a few times, he would be satisfied. If they met again, how would Ryu Sihyeon react? Would he smile cheerfully as usual, or would he politely say he liked him? But that wouldn’t be sincere.

The facts he knew about him were being refuted one by one, and new facts were emerging. As all these things added up and entangled, the existence of Ryu Sihyeon was growing uncontrollably in his consciousness.

✦✦✦

With the end of the drama, contacts came from various places, and many people wanted to meet up. But Seo Heetae wasn’t a person with enough leisure to meet everyone, nor was he in the mood. He only occasionally met with really close or necessary people. The day he bought a gift for his niece Yuha and visited Yun Heejin’s house was such a day.

Heetae played with his niece, who liked having a celebrity uncle, and then had dinner with Yun Heejin. Later, while helping Yuha with her homework, he casually spoke to Yun Heejin, who was working across from him.

“Have you been busy lately, sister?”

“I’m always busy.”

“About the Ryu Sihyeon model offer, are you still considering it?”

“Yes.”

“You said you’d look into it more. Did you find anything?”

“Well, it’s just one actor, no need for experts. I don’t like such things. It’s undignified.”

Yun Heejin looked away from her laptop and took off her glasses. After taking a few sips of coffee from the table, she suddenly started a new conversation.

“Actually, I watched a movie with Yuha’s dad recently. You know, the one where he plays a high school student with a kid.”

“Yes.”

She was talking about Ryu Sihyeon’s debut film.

“But Yuha’s dad was worried if he was a real thug. Does he really curse?”

“What’s the big deal about cursing?”

“Oh, did he really curse in front of you? He must be quite bold. Or maybe a bit rude?”

He had seen him curse. During the first reading. Not just in front of Heetae, but in front of several senior actors. It was an act, of course, but assuming he was bold had some validity.

“Not really. Everyone says he’s polite.”

“Really?”

“The cursing… It’s because he’s good at acting.”

Based on what he’d shown so far, that was true.

“Anyway, I did have a few employees look into him. There’s not much public information. He does a lot of charity work. His agency releases articles about that diligently. So, considering that, we’re positively reviewing him. Probably for tax reasons, though.”

“How much does he donate?”

“Billions every year.”

“He’s just an actor; can he afford to donate that much?”

“Maybe he’s rich.”

It made sense to think he might be the illegitimate child of a chaebol, as Yun Heejin had suggested before. Everything seemed plausible with him.

“Even if it’s not for this brand, I think offers will keep coming to Ryu Sihyeon. Yuha has been infatuated with him lately.”

“Why?”

“She liked him after watching the drama.”

“Does she understand it? The content isn’t suitable for kids.”

“What’s the big deal? She watches because her aunt and uncle are in it. Yuha, who was your favorite in the drama?”

Yuha, who had just finished her homework and was drinking juice, brightened up at her mother’s question. A child raised with love, she answered boldly without hesitation.

“Ryu Sihyeon oppa!”

Heetae chuckled at his niece’s cuteness.

“You like him more than me?”

“Yes. I’m going to marry Sihyeon oppa.”

She’s too interested in the opposite sex already. Heetae leaned his chin on the table and watched his adorable niece’s face, then asked.

“Yuha, how old are you?”

“Seven.”

Heetae smirked, stroking her hair.

“Then two to twelve is just right. Don’t aim higher.”

“Oh dear, you say the wildest things to a kid.”

“Why? Yuha takes after you, her sense of aesthetics is excellent.”

Yun Heejin’s shoulders rose at that. As if Heetae’s opinion was very important, she continued to ask questions.

“Our Yuha is the best, right? How does she compare to Yuri?”

Yuri was the only daughter of his cousin, Yun Heejoon.

“Yuri is too young. But I think Yuha is fit to lead Taejeong in the future.”

Heetae gave a trustworthy smile. Maintaining a good relationship with Yun Heejin was necessary. She would continue to have significant influence in Taejeong, and her husband was the son of Yeongseol Ilbo’s president. They had written favorable articles about Seo Heetae, and it would be good if they continued to do so.

Yun Heejin brightened up with a smile at Heetae’s compliment.

“Thanks for Yuha’s gift today. What do you really want? Your birthday’s coming up soon, just tell me now.”

“Well…”

Would you give it if I said I wanted Ryu Sihyeon?

He thought about it and smiled silently. It would be convenient if he could really buy him with money, but the world isn’t that simple.

As he arrived home, he received a message from Shin Chaeyeon. Ryu Sihyeon had agreed to attend the actors’ gathering over the weekend. Feigning nonchalance, he asked how she managed it, and Shin Chaeyeon laughed.

“I acted pitiful. That’s the best way with kind-hearted people.”

✦✦✦

On the weekend of the meal with the actors from <Thirst>, Heetae arrived early at Minwoong’s restaurant and greeted Minwoong and Jaeyoung. Although there was a reserved table, he didn’t sit there. Instead, he chose a corner seat where he could see the restaurant entrance and chatted with the couple for a bit.

He expected Ryu Sihyeon to arrive last, as he usually did during wrap parties or reward vacations. So, there was no need to sit at the reserved table early. Heetae’s sole purpose for being there was Ryu Sihyeon.

As the reserved time approached, Shin Chaeyeon and other actors began entering the restaurant one by one. When they had seated and ordered, Heetae handed over the meal payment to Jaeyoung, asking for her help for the day. Jaeyoung tried to refuse, saying it was fine, but Minwoong interjected.

“It’s fine, take it. He’s loaded.”

“Because he’s a celebrity?”

“Partly, but… Heetae has always had money.”

“Then I’ll accept it gratefully,” Jaeyoung said just as the restaurant door opened. Heetae quickly shifted his gaze away from Jaeyoung, whom he had thanked. An accustomed face caught his eye.

It was really Ryu Sihyeon. Wearing large glasses that covered half his face and a shirt so loose it almost seemed oversized. He looked around slowly, appearing more timid and smaller than usual. Suddenly bowing, he must have spotted the seniors at the reserved table.

Seeing him like that reminded Heetae of when he had first bowed during the script reading. He looked exactly like this back then.

That was the day Seo Heetae and Ryu Sihyeon became acquainted, and the relationship that started then was ended by Ryu Sihyeon. It was an unsatisfactory fact, but for now, it was fine. Relationships can restart.

Heetae stood up and approached the reserved table. There was only one seat left, opposite Ryu Sihyeon. He could feel Ryu Sihyeon’s surprised gaze. Clearly, he hadn’t known Seo Heetae would attend.

Satisfied that everything was proceeding according to plan, Heetae smiled and quietly observed him across the table.

He knew the various faces hidden behind that one. The face gasping during sex, the nonchalant expression when extinguishing a cigarette, the face looking up and confessing love, and the obedient face talking about submission.

It was impossible to tell which parts were real and which were fake. Understanding Ryu Sihyeon was like a blind man touching an elephant, vague and uncertain. But if there was one thing Heetae was sure of… it was that Ryu Sihyeon was never genuine in front of Seo Heetae. Even after having sex, why was that?

Seo Heetae was not inherently an honest person. But he was the most honest when having sex with Ryu Sihyeon. He showed his base and contradictory self without reserve. Yet Ryu Sihyeon continued to hide his true feelings. That was the most illogical part.

He could no longer just watch this irrational situation unfold. He would uncover Ryu Sihyeon’s lies, essence, thoughts, and the people he met.

Every aspect of him had to be entirely his own.

“It’s been a while.”

Heetae said, looking steadily at Ryu Sihyeon. The surprised expression quickly vanished from Ryu Sihyeon’s face. He replied with a slight smile.

“Yes, have you been well?”

I haven’t been because of you. Heetae thought, but didn’t show it. From now on, their relationship would proceed according to Seo Heetae’s script, and for that, he had to choose his words carefully. Still, Heetae was confident. He always won the games he wanted to win.

He watched Ryu Sihyeon closely. Amid the chatter and wine drinking, he remained quiet. He nodded at others’ words or listened intently when someone spoke. That was all. He used to react cheerfully even if he didn’t talk much, but that sociable attitude seemed gone. The faint smile he showed when greeting seemed to be the best he could offer today.

Is he unwell? His passive demeanor was worrying.

“Sihyeon, are you busy these days?”

At that moment, the oldest at the table, Joo Yongjin, spoke to Ryu Sihyeon.

“Yes. I’m preparing for a movie role,” he replied quietly. He seemed to speak slower than usual.

“Already?”

Chaeyeon asked, surprised.

“What role?”

“Something like a recluse… He doesn’t leave the house.”

“That’s unique.”

“To understand what it’s like, I don’t go out if I don’t have a schedule. I stay at home. I don’t meet people.”

Ryu Sihyeon seemed to be immersing himself in the role. Even among familiar people, he acted like a stranger.

A recluse, huh? That’s interesting. It was a role Seo Heetae would never be offered. Heetae watched Ryu Sihyeon through his glasses. The kid looked pale and timid, already fitting the part. He seemed like someone who wouldn’t see daylight.

Ryu Sihyeon was indeed an ideal actor. When someone saw Hamlet in his face, another could see Macbeth. He could be someone without lines, restrictions, or control. Seo Heetae would never be like that.

…But what if all of that was mine?

Seo Heetae’s life wasn’t bad. But it was rather boring. If he could possess him, life would become very interesting. It felt like his only amusement for now.

“Still, take it easy,” Min Hyejin said worriedly, to which he nodded and replied, “I’ll take it easy.”

Heetae wanted to rip off the silly glasses he was wearing. They made him feel like there was another layer over the real Ryu Sihyeon.

“So what do you do at home?”

“Play games, read books.”

He answered well to others’ questions but avoided eye contact with Heetae entirely. It seemed intentional. Curious if he was really avoiding him, Heetae was about to speak when Shin Chaeyeon asked Ryu Sihyeon something.

“Sihyeon, you haven’t been easy to reach lately. Is it because of the role?”

“Yes, sorry. I’ve been distancing myself from my phone.”

“Can you even date like this?” Joo Yongjin lamented and then asked.

“Sihyeon, do you have a girlfriend? Everyone’s curious.”

“No.”

“Want a referral?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m happy now.”

What could possibly be good about this? It made Heetae wonder if he always avoided relationships, only having sex with people he met on set. Maybe he rushed into the next project to meet new people and have sex. He didn’t know about the others here, but he knew what face he made during sex. He hoped no one else knew that face.

“What’s your ideal type?”

Ryu Sihyeon paused to think about someone’s question. Heetae stared at him, waiting for his pretty lips to part.

“…a kind person?”

The answer was simple. It was Ryu Sihyeon’s typical ambiguous manner of speaking.

“It’s not good for kind people to be together.”

When Min Hyejin said that, Ryu Sihyeon answered without hesitation, “But I’m not kind.”

Nobody paid attention to that statement. Shin Chaeyeon, sipping wine, suggested a new topic to Ryu Sihyeon.

“Tell us about your first love, Sihyeon.”

“There’s not much to tell. I don’t really remember,” he mumbled. But the topic of a young actor’s first love was quite intriguing, so another actor asked Ryu Sihyeon a very basic and simple question.

“Was she pretty?”

“Yes.”

It was funny how he answered without a moment’s hesitation despite claiming not to remember. Heetae barely held back a chuckle.

“She must have been very kind, right?”

Another question came, but the answer was swift once again.

“No.”

People around him responded with “Oh,” and poured wine into Ryu Sihyeon’s empty glass. He smiled awkwardly and said, “I’m fine.”

Despite saying he was fine, his tone was quite weak.

The topic ended when the ordered food arrived. As Ryu Sihyeon broke his gaze from the people, he briefly made eye contact with Heetae. He looked at him again, but Ryu Sihyeon’s attention was now fixed on the food set on the table.

After the meal, Min Hyejin got up and signaled to Ryu Sihyeon. They went outside with a few other actors to smoke. The natural bond that forms among smokers was something Ryu Sihyeon also had. It amused Heetae to realize there was even more about Ryu Sihyeon he didn’t know.

When Ryu Sihyeon returned, he said goodbye, claiming he had a schedule the next day. Everything was going as expected, making Heetae feel good. Heetae said he also had work and got up to follow him. He held Ryu Sihyeon back with the excuse of having to say goodbye to Minwoong. Today, his social skills were drastically lacking, and he awkwardly greeted the restaurant owners.

After that, they naturally left the restaurant together. Ryu Sihyeon kept his eyes on the ground, making it unlikely he would look up. Unsurprised, Heetae initiated the conversation.

“How are you getting home, Sihyeon?”

“By taxi.”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

“No, thank you, sunbae.”

“Why?”

His eyes widened at the question, seemingly flustered.

“It would be rude.”

“If it were rude, I wouldn’t have offered.”

Ryu Sihyeon couldn’t find more words to refuse and got into Heetae’s car. It was amusing how he always refused first despite having no talent for it. Heetae decided that he would make sure such words never came out of his mouth again. It’s efficient not to do anything with no benefit or talent.

As he drove, he glanced at Ryu Sihyeon sitting next to him. He was leaning against the window, fiddling with his nails. He didn’t know if it was a usual habit or if he was just especially nervous. Perhaps part of his spirit remained engrossed in the timid recluse character he was preparing for.

Thinking back, Ryu Sihyeon usually tensed up in front of Seo Heetae. It might have been to gain temporary favor or just for socializing. Heetae had never really cared if others felt comfortable with him. In fact, he preferred it if they were uncomfortable.

However, to expose the ‘real’ self hidden behind that cute face, Seo Heetae would have to make him feel at ease. Like when he talked on the phone with a close person. Heetae removed his gaze from Ryu Sihyeon and looked straight ahead, driving with a clear purpose.

It was time to interpret Ryu Sihyeon again.

To do so, there were a few prerequisites: One, Seo Heetae had to become comfortable. Two, he had to gather information about Ryu Sihyeon.

For those two, a conversation was necessary. Hence, he carefully considered his opening line.

“I’ve seen some of your work, Sihyeon. I got curious about your criteria for choosing roles.”

That was the start. He was very interested in actor Ryu Sihyeon and had many questions.

“Why do you always play tragic characters?”

Ryu Sihyeon answered slowly.

“I think the process is important, more so than the result.”

“So did you like Jang Icheon’s process? He was quite a villain.”

It took a moment for him to respond.

“Yes, I like Jang Icheon. He has his strengths too.”

Then he mumbled in a crawling voice, “Indeed… he has strengths as well as weaknesses.”

He seemed lost in thought again. Previously, he would ask many questions and talk a lot, but now he was suddenly silent. Whether it was his natural demeanor or the influence of the role he was preparing, Heetae couldn’t tell.

He wanted to hear him speak. If he were preparing for a chatty role, things might have been easier. Why did he choose that role?

“Why are you playing a recluse this time? It’s an unusual role.”

Reluctantly, Heetae spoke again. When the light turned red, he stopped the car and looked straight at Ryu Sihyeon.

Ryu Sihyeon finally met his gaze. He hadn’t expected it, momentarily surprising him. At the same time, he realized how pleasurable it could be. He took in his eyes and slightly parted lips. So beautiful, why does he keep his eyes on the ground?

“…because it’s a happy ending.”

He then smiled slightly.

“I wanted to try something that ends happily at least once.”

It wasn’t the usual bright smile he often showed. That made it feel unfamiliar and more enticing to hold onto.

“Smile like you just did.”

“Excuse me?”

Ryu Sihyeon’s question was drowned out by a loud honk. The constant blaring of horns from behind was annoying. Heetae muttered a curse unconsciously. Those impatient jerks shouldn’t drive.

He reluctantly stepped on the gas. Once the noise from the car behind vanished, Heetae spoke to Ryu Sihyeon again.

“Smile like you just did.”

“How did I smile?”

How could he explain that? He continued driving, suppressing a laugh. The smile Ryu Sihyeon had just given kept lingering in his mind. It felt like the ‘real’ him that had briefly appeared. It was much like the face he saw fleetingly one night, smoking and talking on the phone with a friend. Though it had been a brief moment, he remembered it vividly.

He parked in the garage of Ryu Sihyeon’s apartment. Though he could have just dropped him off, he parked instead. Ryu Sihyeon didn’t seem to understand why. Heetae almost laughed when he saw him getting out of the car and bidding him goodbye. The kid was really careless. Didn’t he know it was dangerous if someone followed him?

As Heetae got out, Ryu Sihyeon, heading towards his home, turned back with a puzzled look. Heetae stood before him, holding back laughter.

“It’s a bit sudden, but…”

Looking down at Ryu Sihyeon, Heetae said, “Think of me as a director. I’ll give you some direction, Sihyeon.”

He gave a puzzled look.

“Okay.”

“Remember that smile you had earlier.”

“…In the car?”

“Yes. Smile like that. Ready, action.”

At the cue of “action,” he reflexively gave a similar smile. Indeed, an actor’s skill was evident even in a half-hearted smile.

This was both a signal and a foreshadowing. The outcome of this story was already determined.

“Looks good.”

He didn’t say “cut” on purpose. It was a way of saying that he should continue smiling like that.

Heetae smiled at Ryu Sihyeon. But he couldn’t quite tell how he himself was smiling. For an actor, this situation was absurdly surreal. He couldn’t even define his current feelings.

Meeting Ryu Sihyeon’s gaze, he naturally delivered the line leading to the next scene.

“Since we’re here, how about a cup of coffee?”

“Coffee…”

Today, he seemed slow to react, repeating the word before asking, “There’s no milk, is that alright?”

“Milk?”

“I thought you liked lattes.”

“I don’t mind.”

The naive Ryu Sihyeon nodded. And with that, the scene of night, indoors, and the parking lot concluded.

He couldn’t let him go just like that. In Seo Heetae’s script, they would both go into Ryu Sihyeon’s place. So far, Ryu Sihyeon had responded appropriately to the script, and so it would be. There was no delay, everything was smooth.

People don’t hide themselves even in personal spaces. Letting someone into their home naturally unlocks a bit of their heart. So, in Ryu Sihyeon’s home, he could truly get close to him. He would open his heart gradually, and Heetae would learn more about him, eventually unveiling his true self.

This game, too, would end in Seo Heetae’s victory. There was no doubt.

Ryu Sihyeon’s place was on the second floor. After taking the elevator, they quickly arrived at his front door. While the door seemed ordinary, Heetae thought the interior would be far from it. The idea of him engrossed in his role, not stepping outside, conjured images of a somewhat cluttered place, hurriedly tidied for a sudden outing. Leftover takeout food or piled-up dishes in the sink came to mind.

Having lived alone for a while, his place might also be filled with personal history. Perhaps a display cabinet with the numerous awards he’d received. Honestly, it was hard not to have some expectations.

But the small apartment was extraordinarily clean, to the point where “excessive” might be an understatement. To be precise, it was almost empty. There was only the bare minimum of furniture and household items. If this was the home of a recluse, he might be the most diligent cleaner in the world.

The only thing filling the empty space was music. Familiar orchestral rhythms filled the room, spilling out the moment the door opened.

“Mahler.”

Following the homeowner inside, Heetae muttered. It dawned on him that he’d never seen Ryu Sihyeon listening to anything but classical music.

“Do you like classical music?”

Ryu Sihyeon, seemingly still finding Heetae’s presence in his space unfamiliar, stared blankly for a moment before answering, “It’s just convenient to play.”

“Is that so?”

As Heetae continued to stare, he added, “…because there’s no lyrics.”

“Then you wouldn’t like opera or lieder.”

“I don’t think I dislike them, but I don’t particularly reach for them.”

Was there a need to differentiate so meticulously? Curious about his thought process, Heetae held back further questions to avoid sounding interrogative.

From this point on, he needed to approach slowly. Ryu Sihyeon, acting as a recluse, seemed smaller and more withdrawn than usual. It was as if he was hiding his wariness of the world behind those large glasses.

If they chatted in this space, deeper conversations would naturally follow. Relationships are built that way, and Heetae’s script was based on that principle. So he asked a moderately safe question.

“What do you think of Mahler? Do you like him?”

“He’s alright.”

“I don’t particularly like Mahler either.”

Though phrased differently, Heetae deliberately said it that way. People feel more comfortable when they notice shared opinions.

“So what’s your favorite piece?”

Feeling Ryu Sihyeon’s gaze on him, Heetae assumed he would again give a vague answer like, “I like them all.” But instead,

“Brahms Symphony No. 4.”

He gave a specific answer.

“Second movement.”

Very specific, indeed. It was both gratifying and frustrating.

“You seem to like classical music, so why not admit it?”

Genuinely curious, Heetae couldn’t help but ask. Ryu Sihyeon seemed taken aback, hitting the mark a bit too well. Worried he might make him more timid, Heetae reconsidered his approach. Then Ryu Sihyeon looked up slightly, lowered his gaze, and mumbled.

“Someone once told me… not to say what you like or dislike. That way you can fit in with others.”

A surprisingly long answer.

“Who gave you such nonsense advice?”

Why would someone stop him from expressing himself? It was ridiculous.

“A senior from school.”

He smiled bitterly. Heetae had never seen him smile like that and fixated on his face. It felt like a scene from a movie.

Heetae watched as Ryu Sihyeon headed toward the speakers. Seeing him smile bitterly for the first time left him feeling slightly dazed. Perhaps the shell around him had finally cracked a bit.

Ryu Sihyeon’s hand paused as he reached for the speaker playing the music. He asked Heetae, “Can I keep this on?”

“Yes, do whatever makes you comfortable.”

If it made him feel at ease, there was no issue.

The next step was exploring Ryu Sihyeon’s more personal space, his room. The apartment wasn’t very large, having only two rooms. Entering one and turning on the light, a monochrome room came into view. Heetae entered the room with Ryu Sihyeon, taking in the surroundings.

The room with the bed was indeed a bedroom, and it was just as tidy. For an actor’s home, you’d expect photos of oneself or at least posters of their works, but his room had none of that. The room carried a peculiar scent, a mix of wood and musk, and on the desk was a book by Baudrillard, borrowed from a nearby library.

With that, the modest home tour ended. Heetae followed Ryu Sihyeon to the table. It was a high island table, common in studio apartments. From there, Heetae had a clear view of Ryu Sihyeon opening the fridge.

He clearly mentioned he liked to cook and seemed to enjoy eating. Yet, the fridge appeared almost empty.

“Do I need to go to the convenience store…”

He muttered, pulling out what seemed to be a bottle of Dutch coffee. He took out a cup and poured some. Then he stared at the cup of coffee for a moment. Curious about his behavior, Heetae watched as he turned and asked, “Didn’t I dilute this with water?”

The clumsy charm made Heetae almost laugh.

“Yes, do that.”

Ryu Sihyeon reopened the fridge to fetch the coffee again. Heetae got up and walked over with quick strides. He placed his hand over Ryu Sihyeon’s hand as he was closing the fridge door.

He smiled at Ryu Sihyeon, who looked up at him.

“Let me just have a look around.”

“Ah, okay.”

Thinking they might need something for a longer conversation, Heetae looked inside the fridge. But all he found were some fruits and two cans of beer.

“Since I haven’t been out recently… I’ve run out of food.”

Feeling embarrassed, Ryu Sihyeon explained from the side. Ignoring it, Heetae took out both beer cans and closed the fridge. His hand parted from Ryu Sihyeon’s.

Heetae went back to the table, sat down, and crossed his legs. He watched as Ryu Sihyeon hesitantly took the seat opposite him. Now was the real beginning.

Though Ryu Sihyeon drank the beer Heetae handed him, the coffee he made was so bitter it didn’t matter that it was diluted with water. Heetae put the cup down, trying hard not to laugh.

“Do you not drink coffee much?”

Realizing the state of the coffee, Ryu Sihyeon responded with an embarrassed expression.

“I don’t usually drink it at home.”

“Then why did you buy it?”

“Oh, a friend brought it. For when he visits.”

“Actor Gi Yoonhyung?”

“Not Yoonhyung, another friend.”

“What does he do? A student?”

“He’s a PD. He hasn’t been working long.”

He smiled slightly at Heetae. It was the comfortable smile he had shown in the car. It seemed like he genuinely liked this friend. Seeing that face should have made Heetae happy, but he felt doubtful. Was this PD just a friend? Why would a mere friend visit so often, even bringing coffee?

“Is your friend a man?”

“Yes.”

“Being a new PD, he must be busy. Does he really have time to come over and drink coffee?”

“True.”

Then, with a calm voice, he added, “I should visit him instead… I did feel a bit sorry.”

Choosing words that annoyed him, Heetae thought, “What a ridiculous guy,” and drank the coffee.

Still, the atmosphere wasn’t bad. Ryu Sihyeon was drinking beer in his own space, talking about his friend. His favorite classical music kept playing. Naturally, his guard would lower. He was making eye contact more frequently and comfortably smiling. It seemed he was getting used to the presence of this stranger in his home.

Staying longer might reveal the natural side of Ryu Sihyeon.

Catching his gaze, Heetae smiled and spoke.

“The movie was really good.”

“Thank you.”

“And your acting was great. You sing well too.”

“Really?”

A slight blush appeared on his face. He didn’t react as enthusiastically as usual. In a way, it looked very calm. But Heetae liked this unfeigned side more. He wanted to ruffle his hair but resisted the impulse.

“Yoonhyung taught me a bit. He’s really good at singing. He even performed in large musicals.”

Heetae pretended to be interested, even though he wasn’t, to make him feel more comfortable. He even asked about Yoonhyung, pretending to care.

“Does your friend have a significant other?”

“Yoonhyung? No.”

A look of pity crossed Ryu Sihyeon’s face.

“He’s really a great guy.”

That was the limit. He could no longer pretend to care and asked Ryu Sihyeon different questions. The conversation continued, revealing various answers. He was from Seoul, his parents owned a flower shop, and he had no siblings. One hypothesis was ruled out—he wasn’t an illegitimate child of a chaebol.

He liked to shop or attend classical concerts when going out. He had no favorite or least favorite role; they were all similar. That was unexpected. Most actors usually have a role they are attached to. Even Heetae had a fondness for his debut role at Cannes.

At some point, Heetae moved to sit next to Ryu Sihyeon, who had finished both cans of beer. He could feel his gaze but acted nonchalant and took Ryu Sihyeon’s left hand.

“The torture scene in Namyeong-dong looked tough. Your hand was stepped on too.”

“Ah, that was a bit hard. Even though it was acting… we shot that scene for a whole week.”