SB Ch 31

The tears that wet his pale cheeks were so heavy that each drop made Haeyoon’s shoulders slump. In front of Haeyoon, who was gradually curling up, Chae Beomjoon couldn’t say anything.a3232edb0a73b069

He wouldn’t listen to his words, yet he believed in his lack of talent as if it were a creed. This was a tragedy.a5dab96ccdd68657

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“Without knowing you were the acting director, I called out your name in front of the members like an idiot.”fd88f6e985f921e6

Once the dam broke, everything Haeyoon had suppressed started pouring out like a waterfall. At the mention of “acting director,” Chae Beomjoon looked at Haeyoon with a stunned expression.d13ad2ed7737a0e0

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“How, how could you think that? Did you really think no one would know? Did you think nothing would get back to me? Were you treating me or the members like idiots?”754394f84afedf57

“Haeyoon, I’m sorry. That was… shortsighted of me.”d3bcd33db4cf4a3e

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His chest ached. He hadn’t thought that far. Since his interactions with the members were from years ago, he thought no one would recognize him. It was a mistake. It was his fault.73db3ff079f7cccb

At Beomjoon’s sincere apology, Haeyoon shook his head as if none of it mattered. Drop by drop, his grief formed into beads, falling down. It felt like it was raining in the middle of winter.4b25884ab14791fb

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“Do you know what I’ve heard because of you? That I was arrogant towards my seniors because I trusted you. That the piano quintet was bought with my body… that it was the brightest moment in my life…”ed731190bb1e7ea4

“No! That’s really, because of your own…”cc1b437cbacfa553

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“But how can I forgive you? The double bass is my everything. It’s irreplaceable…! Yet, Mr. Mister, you, you trampled on me, made me…”c5484aacfc3cdd22

Feel like a gigolo…1a623522c9ce232b

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The voice that murmured 490fb98d3f weakly dispersed into the e3078a14ff air. It felt like he e958c39d5d was directly receiving the 0f3455c12d disappointment, despair, and hurt 60ee5ead68 Haeyoon had experienced. In front of the 8bf970eb94 darkness of the one 8b1a929db8 he admired, Chae Beomjoon f8655ba67f felt powerless.80ee390a07ad3d08

Seo Haeyoon saw himself 93c37aa231 as barren land. He believed a0e1cf0af8 that as 0021a7f74a a double 433873e100 bassist, he fdb69692c8 could never 917b28b904 bloom any 67f1f59114 flowers.0942dc4aedc3f68e

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Over the past few months, the affection Chae Beomjoon had showered on him had momentarily made Haeyoon forget this fact. With Beomjoon’s full affection and encouragement, Haeyoon had toiled through endless effort to cultivate this barren land, turning the desert-like soil into one that could bloom flowers, yielding beautiful results.ac870238fa8f0a01

But someone had thrown stones on Seo Haeyoon’s land, spread filth, and set it on fire. And then they asked:cbf826a02397dad7

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“Are those flowers really ones you bloomed?”4c19c430b8664a56

Instead of answering that ef6b162228 question, Seo Haeyoon sank cd72259d82 into inertial despair. Instead of 43f1bce239 believing in 19bf36ed9a his achievements, a31d4c645e he began 0b180838a6 to doubt 12ae97585b the flowers. At least for 5928173a21 Haeyoon, his own fd8c0caae3 incompetence was expected. The land eef80ce2b4 should rightfully f4aadac878 be barren.b1d696daa03e8874

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From the start, 8e45958e9d it was strange 174688e83e for flowers to b4c89d9bfc bloom there.3496584056c073cd

His throat tightened with 232c3a09ca sorrow. As he watched Haeyoon, 499ad06d14 whose eyes were red, 9b075d39e8 Beomjoon suddenly remembered the ae589d0d23 comfort Haeyoon had offered 36f0961335 him one autumn day.de1c4c37cc705e78

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‘You’re just like yourself.’bf93ad298a79a008

Seo Haeyoon’s judgment that living by surrendering to what he loved was like him was correct. Since getting to know him, Chae Beomjoon had been living by entrusting his mind to Haeyoon.988055ab15fc13d6

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But doubting his talent 731bd82b76 and not believing in 1cc73795ca himself was unlike Seo 80da1e10f5 Haeyoon.b7736e220d60d69f

If it were Seo Haeyoon, he should have responded to praise by saying it was only natural. If it were Seo Haeyoon, he should have said “I knew I could do it” when told it was achieved by his own effort. If it were Seo Haeyoon, he should have boldly refuted such absurd fabrications and insults.089dccd90926bdf0

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But to treat 01e8eba899 himself like a 0e4b8acfb1 gigolo because of e09b42de49 a few words 9693eeff3a from some unknown 397cecab39 person was not b5d9995b0f like Seo Haeyoon.c1467bd5244fe80f

It was like a die rolled with the wrong language. It was not another side of Haeyoon’s character but closer to an error misaligned from his essence.80f0402bfe1b47ed

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He now 21cd910639 understood that. He also realized eea42ac756 that this inferiority ea0dcb7dbb complex was at ace3344821 the root of 3313f3083b his earnest practice 655170cde5 and effort. This was the 8c1430a8b7 bottom of Seo 496a4b19fd Haeyoon that he 8d07adb3db had finally confronted.d4528a463b48a226

How desperate must he 45363fc24d have been while playing 83442bd3c4 the bow?ddbe9db88d601342

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Chae Beomjoon remembered Seo Haeyoon as he appeared in his mind, standing alone on the stage with a sad face, after everyone else had left…a671e5daa17ab39f

How much must he have cried. How often must he have cried in front of countless pieces he was afraid he couldn’t handle.ffe667cb75e97cc8

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Even if he didn’t shed tears, he must have cried through his bow. No one would have listened to that sound.221c01a66417d0ca

“Haeyoon…”44649d0f5cca4e6b

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It felt like his insides were burning. Seo Haeyoon stood silently in front of him. The tears had stopped, but his breath was still wet. He knew Haeyoon was crying without making a sound. He knew how familiar Haeyoon was with this kind of despair…5ada10c3f3f47636

“I may never fully understand how significant the double bass is to you.”c3a666ea54ac347a

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“…Right, you won’t have another chance to understand me.”189484d7ca7aa9c3

The words, 76c92599fb spat out bd41599a8a with venom bf7c240b05 as if d9c2f246e5 to make f98fa3d43b him feel 7a0482eed3 the pain 6b9414ee03 he felt, 783a108ead no longer cb374cdf47 hurt. He just felt sorry 804128c81c for him. He wanted to 3a11389daa hug him.e752d2742b4570b7

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“I know. You don’t have to believe my excuses. But…”c14e416fcea9ecc1

He closed his 6d9ef960c5 eyes momentarily, then 8396ca35fe opened them. His calm 1d1c90f42b gaze now 243fa670f8 carried conviction 32ada82043 as it 73964101ca looked at 3cd2649c69 Seo Haeyoon.9491b478346e4753

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To Chae Beomjoon, that place was solid ground from the beginning. It was an open field where Haeyoon’s talent could take deep root and bloom countless flowers.0b984b5b6dedcf65

Not only b5642f32e7 was he b29ee3ba96 talented by 388d6fa98e nature, but 3f256d6bf5 Haeyoon worked d4a9da35ed harder than 46a81fba7a anyone to f5ec6752e8 make those a456a1df10 flowers bloom. To see him work 7d862bb0e4 so hard, sweat and 90e146d5c8 toil, only to treat 79e95feeac himself as if he c0166fd9f1 were barren land was 87c98ff7f7 heartbreaking for anyone watching.260cad9d4c17ebe1

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He couldn’t just leave it at that. He had to tell him. He had to give Haeyoon the chance to truly know who he was.7cb119f6e86eaf17

“Haeyoon. Even if you can’t understand, there are things in this world you must believe. Like how most people can’t explain gravity but we stand on this earth because of it, there are things you must believe without explanation.”fab95d2c0c9ac53b

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At this 91311da6d9 serious introduction, e44985ccb0 Haeyoon wiped b64dc31f61 his cheeks, 37fcedc71a which had 232ca9d87e nothing left a02d0f9238 to wipe. Many times.971648a5800fc96f

“In your case, it’s like this. Ahn Yewon cares for you.”480621db15d960a9

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He had received messages 6ae1e26897 and calls from her. She warned Beomjoon to 0a299be124 watch his back if 57b60574c8 they met again. Despite knowing where b7bb24a532 Chae Beomjoon worked, 19ad7cb93a she did so 1df9d93697 because she cared d269695b0a for her friend ee6d4e09f3 Seo Haeyoon that 66bc5f526d much.111c87f85c056af8

“Your father cherishes you more than his own life.”4dcf4c33c07ee95f

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Seo Jonggil didn’t want Haeyoon to see his hair turning gray. That’s what parents are like. They treasure their children above all, not wanting to worry them…0ad67cb95e4db6f0

His hardened face began to crumble in shock. Haeyoon bit his lip, struggling to hold back his emotions, looking exhausted, like he wanted to give up. Gently brushing Haeyoon’s thin cheek, Chae Beomjoon smiled sincerely.421dc732d6076708

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“And somewhere in this world, there’s someone who ardently loves you…”653035f3c0313ddf

“Don’t make me laugh…!”5a08e7f59be0f867

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“And…”d660c26448d3cc9c

He grabbed Haeyoon’s hand as he shook his head. The moment their cold palms touched, warmth flared up like a spark. Chae Beomjoon gently kissed the tips of Haeyoon’s fingers, which were just beginning to feel the flow of blood. With his lips softly pressed, he met Haeyoon’s gaze to convey the truth.e97d7e15bb95017d

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“…that you are truly a talented musician.”ec7754476c8b5f20

The fingers calloused from 8b44339239 playing.9871b92374e6f1cc

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That solid field was the land cultivated by Seo Haeyoon’s despair, resignation, and unwavering effort. When strings were planted and the bow was drawn, Haeyoon’s talent bloomed into beautiful melodies.1b3d93c5ce80a70a

That Seo Haeyoon himself didn’t know this was truly tragic. Now, he had to know.12f3f759e76a082a

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“These four facts are things you must never doubt.”55986579fbd838b0

His voice was as 697858a065 serious and solemn as 559ce1f863 if there could be 973049dfa4 no falsehood. It was also a 48ffe2a9a4 gentle message to comfort 5705cdff17 a broken and wounded bb9db71c64 heart.a0e363a63223230a

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“Lies. I don’t believe such things…”92c9e14ee22f352a

Contrary to his denial, Haeyoon’s dried cheeks were once again moist. At the honest emotion he showed, Chae Beomjoon quietly smiled and pressed his forehead against Haeyoon’s hand, hoping this intense warmth of affection would reach him.a09d9102f5d75345

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“Still, you stand on this earth. As long as you’re not free from gravity, these four facts must apply to you.”fba4c13326a8a55f

In front of Chae Beomjoon, who insisted with such brazenness, Seo Haeyoon said nothing. He just looked up at him with trembling eyes, as if he wanted to believe but couldn’t.6970b51e35ad6e8d

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Chae Beomjoon realized he had done all he could. A person’s essence doesn’t change by others. Change begins from the moment one decides for themselves. Like when Chae Beomjoon decided to love Seo Haeyoon with all his heart, becoming someone capable of loving passionately.33da13b87d049d23

Change had to 90d3264301 come from within e6d786847f Haeyoon. The one who 1340da4c94 could correct the a3398b1dc5 language of his 0344954dda errors was Seo dc65389f76 Haeyoon himself.5392c82b0ddd5ada

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“Check it yourself. Ask Conductor Kim Gun-woo, Concertmaster Park Yeon-woong, and Team Leader Hong Hyekyung. Then you’ll know.”f397e46b909363ed

“How can you be sure they weren’t made to lie?”a9d369f115b66254

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“There will be at least one person among them who’ll speak the truth even if it kills them. You’ll know who that is.”234787cebb321587

Seo Haeyoon bit his lip firmly. His confused eyes scanned Chae Beomjoon’s face thoroughly. Soon, finding no trace of doubt, he fell into deep thought.09611fcf7a7f7100

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He was 7b483f339a definitely thinking 277bff5b57 of the cfbb236314 same person, 6530be7ca3 Concertmaster Park 4e90b84d58 Yeonwoong. Despite his silence, the d4c13545fd stern concertmaster was a 952a3388da man who took immense eebc8c135b pride in his skill. If Chae Beomjoon f0a9f20c07 had really placed c2d9ea2c0e Seo Haeyoon into 747f2f763a the quintet, the cbf790604d concertmaster would have 57ee69c00e been the first 4f0bef6db6 to express his bd5d437572 intention to resign.2a8051172a4f9d43

“Don’t trust me, go ask those people directly. Whether I pushed you into the quintet or you walked in yourself.”334fb0ea112bed0b

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With that, Chae Beomjoon fell silent. Suddenly, it hit him that the only thing he hid from Seo Haeyoon wasn’t just about being the acting director.4b3cf1c712207776

“And… once you can acknowledge yourself, come find me. I won’t ask you to trust me completely. But if it can help you erase any doubts you have about yourself…”c65fb76d729b585a

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There was something he 5036fdf51c wanted to show Seo 227edd977e Haeyoon. How, since meeting Haeyoon, 62ba01b4bb he started imagining a 9159510bb1 future far beyond the 6640111f89 present. He wanted to share 7ca4c79e81 this with him.ffbb928966437684

“Give me a chance too. You can do that much for me, can’t you?”38bfd64a216611c8

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As Beomjoon kissed the man’s now warm hand again, a small snowflake flew in and melted between their kisses. The first snow was falling.3f93144b8024c639

🔮🌙18ead3fd1172052c

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“……”dbd80cd570970f5a

“Son, are you sick?”5b932cddd2542452

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As Seo Jonggil 38a1d321bf came into the 6aa2169499 living room to 2d368d1fee prepare for work, ec8753eb4f he noticed Haeyoon 7f14437bb4 crouching on the 34de89ebd7 sofa and asked. At the question, Seo 539ffda442 Haeyoon weakly turned his d0126ad6e8 head.448d877cf15cbb72

Wearing bright 6fe799768b red rose-patterned bee4adf7f7 long johns, 26dc1c06ca a gift d2ce567b6f from his 44172d142e friend Kim, 1b28696bb2 Seo Jonggil 96eade78dd was showing 01b0295bf8 signs of 0a6389d8ba aging these 31e00ec0f1 days. He would 4d69857744 be seventy 378c39831d next year, 319e379590 so it cd534f5145 was fitting 717d4713b3 that he df64c4afd1 appeared older, 41867980f7 but his 1b0642782e face still b0071b0ed8 had a 66fa197d01 youthful glow, 02d8626079 making him ad8e923d4c look like feeea848d1 he was d086720239 in his 1a93b91b55 fifties. Seeing his father 2cdb7fa4d5 reveal his age ebe625bbee in such attire 5b069416bd made Haeyoon feel fc1f61fdca a bit melancholic, 8ff6a2921c wondering how much 9cd9633204 longer his father 54797509bd would stay healthy.de8b2ba22c6a7eb9

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“Mr. Seo Haeyoon, should I take you to the hospital?”915f71dd1256f828

Without a reply from Haeyoon, Seo Jonggil approached him playfully. However, his warm eyes were filled with concern. Haeyoon held onto his father’s hand, which was touching his forehead, and felt the wrinkles on the back of his hand, which contrasted with his face.9f705c450a4dc8cc

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“No fever… What’s wrong? Is it because of that old bastard?”7abcbe37d432c711

Seo Jonggil was perceptive too. It was obvious that after the man he had promised to introduce didn’t show up, Haeyoon’s mood hit rock bottom, something any father would naturally notice.4be01d71ba410297

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If Haeyoon 41d124a4fd wanted, Seo 90707f6e55 Jonggil would fb6124db0d have been a4134675f9 willing to 2d6b73663f run over e90a29e87c Chae Beomjoon 3172c875f0 with a bbc7c457dd 20-ton truck. Seeing his face, c29c27be3c Haeyoon weakly shook bfb15106b4 his head. Haeyoon pulled his father fc0b8ecbc4 onto the sofa and dde064e068 gently leaned his body fb46b3f83d to the side. Unaccustomed to such 15ac63ccfe childlike behavior, Seo 8177158092 Jonggil gladly offered c428c59883 his thigh to 0fc86a16ae Haeyoon.6fecf112e2be278e

Resting his 7ba481956f head on 5264fbe656 it, Haeyoon ecc727dd0a stared blankly 27c3fb0cf4 out the 6eb7b2d9e0 window. The words cb44f79390 he had 9f4264e7c4 heard from e5a3e284e0 Chae Beomjoon 69e8df865a a few 39196bd751 days ago c01cd45a38 echoed in 3914be2817 his ears, 8d1db032cf like a a50d30ed84 shout reverberating 57d33e87ff in a 3cd9921b8b deep valley.b0eac1f2b9a2ac1e

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‘You’re still standing on the ground. As long as you can’t be free from gravity, the other four facts will still apply to you.’91b34d123ca74a16

He thought it was nonsense. He assumed that Chae Beomjoon was desperately spouting nonsense to enchant him. But why couldn’t he erase those words from his mind? Why was that? Even though he couldn’t fully believe them…53cf90cca9c3942e

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“Dad.”bb7fdea1bd5f4d1b

“Yes, what’s troubling you? You’re not planning to go abroad again, are you? If you are, let me know in advance. I have no lingering attachment to this world.”52131368a925b617

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“How much do you love me?”1f00ca1a4e50adf8

At the sudden question, Seo Jonggil’s eyes widened, then softened. Seeing his son speak so vulnerably, Seo Jonggil spoke with a tender expression. If asked about his love for his child, he could answer for three days and nights.d09cbeef297f7143

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“When your mother gave birth to you, I made a vow. If ever a moment of crucial decision comes, I wouldn’t hesitate to lay down my life for you and Ji Hyun.”0dd8002d7b076d06

Seo Haeyoon 3aec421195 clearly remembered 07acb46dd6 how his 916d45bce6 father quit 9892586870 drinking and 9cf7651d97 smoking immediately 6624a44c9e and started a00230aa84 exercising to 7ba20b9cde prepare for a18fcfcb96 a bone ba66c3f478 marrow transplant 3f7d399bc7 after learning 3172de74ea that his 6c65337a81 mother had fb2796a533 leukemia.f751404080bbd614

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Bone marrow transplant itself wasn’t that difficult if the tissue compatibility was high, but that didn’t make it easy either. His father did it without a moment’s hesitation.2cc604f98af19de6

If possible, Seo Jonggil would have exchanged his life for Yoo Ji Hyun’s. Seo Haeyoon knew that. Even 20 years after her death, his father, who lived alone looking at her pictures every day, had a love his son couldn’t possibly not understand.8bc0c37f55afc6e4

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“Can’t understand? Well, let me say it differently.”278ed5eb674d2ab1

“There’s a different way to say it?”758c7f11a83801b2

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Was there an expression of love higher than laying down one’s life? Haeyoon, lost in thought, looked puzzled. Seo Jonggil, smiling, said.17aa748f60e8386d

“These days, the news says artificial womb technology has advanced, so soon men will be able to give birth too. If someday you need a placenta transplant with matching genes, I would get that artificial womb implanted…”bee76f29ee714435

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“That’s nonsense!”7664e9d96f2cdc14

“What’s nonsense? You shouldn’t always be looking at music sheets, sometimes you should watch the news. It’s not a distant story. It’s happening right now.”25a92679c6fad904

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“Okay, enough!”2fff3411d39581d6

“If you need a sibling, just say the word. I’ll get right on it.”0686f228581978be

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Pushing out his now ceddca0eba significantly larger belly, Seo ab072e8b23 Jonggil chuckled. Haeyoon, initially disdainful, rolled 46eb85fefe his eyes at his 441f6d9666 belly pushing against him, 788d3c0c22 then eventually burst into aafa79a405 laughter.d805351fa2bea22e

It was a 7fe829e7a8 ridiculous statement, but f7eb9562ae just hearing such 015fe0efec words from his 5fd9edf5ef deeply macho father e123686531 assured him that da79cf1681 his love was ed0838828f genuine.9721b80d1ddd2df7

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Feeling warmth spreading through his chest, Seo Haeyoon smiled softly, enjoying his father’s affection. The silk pajamas he once found tacky were very soft and warm, making him feel cozy even in his heart.e443d78457d15062

Feeling his father’s hand gently stroking his hair like he did when Haeyoon was a child, he felt at ease. All the worries that had troubled him for the past few days seemed to vanish.296abffeec3138c5

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“If something’s wrong, tell me. Everything will be alright.”fb21c6513b3a789c

“…Do you really think I’m as good a musician as mom was?”cf3e183afa8abe74

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With that assurance, words hidden in his heart flowed out easily. Though it was embarrassing, he didn’t feel like hiding anymore.72a0e13288b9ea51

Maybe… he already knew what his father’s answer would be.7b87562189352252

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“Have you ever been to my company?”320b256208289d5e

“No, why?”ad770271bdc551fa

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“The music playing in the lobby is your cello performance of ‘Salut d’Amour’ when you were seven. Didn’t you know?”9590c2c572475816

“…What?”3bb1c032dea48a96

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Haeyoon, looking astonished, c67c54663d sat up.51290c8b949e6e3a

When was that? He learned 920287bbce cello so cdf718f376 long ago 6d7809618b that the 68a547ba9f quality must 04ade30739 be terrible. Not to mention 4dba41c2be the quality, how de86787e4d was the performance? It must 4f14191260 have been 37bcb30f1c unbearable to e3963a7837 listen to, 4b35a9ad46 yet he 72a522866f played it 73e1453704 for others?9fed5ad1570e696d

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“Why did you do that?!”caa09510459c6b34

Seeing his horrified son, e9f5f0ae0b Seo Jonggil shrugged.1304dafdaa74d148

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“Good music needs to be heard to have meaning. And the music played during lunch hour is the 8th Concerto you performed at your first competition. At the end of the day, it’s…”9aaea747ef807584

“Dad!”cc2e17a6cf33a60e

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Why would he play such a thing at his company? At Haeyoon’s outburst, Seo Jonggil, with playful wrinkles around his eyes, nudged Haeyoon’s arm.0a2238b704204b5f

“You played so well. I wanted to keep listening to it.”1afc4372d5582d46

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“No matter how well…”f787a6c5cc15dab9

“Because you played so well.”a6dfe4b5ff0f4242

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“…”e5460e2dc7a4636d

“Because you played so well, I wanted to hear it. If you didn’t play well, I wouldn’t have wanted to listen, even if you were my child. When you first started learning violin, did you know I didn’t want to come home? Every evening, you would sit me down and play the violin, sounding like a banshee. I had to listen and applaud wildly. For about three months, I had nightmares.”176d95c7580d6924

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While blankly listening to Seo Jonggil, Haeyoon suddenly grimaced and slapped his father’s arm. He remembered how, even when he played terribly as a child, his father clapped exaggeratedly and praised him. At that time, Seo Haeyoon thought he was a genius who would follow in Paganini’s footsteps without even knowing who Paganini was. But to think it was all forced… He felt betrayed.31ad4b28a46eb3d1

“Liar…”7c0ebff441a8063e

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As he 45bbc21e4e grumbled, Seo 72e2885f8c Jonggil burst 4b4e2e2ade into a 2e4266e717 chuckle. He teased Haeyoon for fbce89d04c a while with a cc64325989 face full of delight 636cfdc118 before smiling gently, as cb60471e23 if proud of his 2666bead8a grown son.9277eea78865d913

“That’s what love more precious than life is.”f245c11e95fa5bc1

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“…”42150b61cf384320

“Dad has to go to work now. Want to come with me? It would be nice if you could play the lobby music live for me today.”027211ec2b50c974

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“Forget it…”01713806172d7cdc

He waved 01907cda86 off Seo b8322d6343 Jonggil, who c9d8e4562d was cheekily cea610eca3 asking for 24a55c702c a live 635af83e06 performance. Laughing without d05dc00cc1 acting his 568829b521 age, Seo 366cb07ccb Jonggil got 99dba283fc up from 4e76f26e55 his seat, 07ac71bbea hugged Haeyoon 7f8dc7b0cb tightly, who 2bc8739f9f had his c81e2964e7 lips pressed ad4b0ff852 into a 32142b7d72 line, and 584ec6a39c then disappeared 744fa8f039 to drink 8c1a45d1bb his health c85c3e01f3 juice.bff3b6914bae7670

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Haeyoon watched b37f732208 the receding ced2bba571 figure before 01a2155857 getting up. Today was ab77c14e28 the day 51765aa1ef for the b68861c956 quintet practice.36f4bba72770e461

“Hello.”e5b4ac11c462dc49

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“Hello, sir! Did you rest well?”87ab24294745df94

As he entered the rehearsal room, Park Giwon greeted him with a bright smile. Every time he saw him, Haeyoon thought he was such a cheerful person. To Park Giwon, whose brightness seemed to lighten even Haeyoon’s heavy heart, Haeyoon gave a faint smile in return.0a674418bea7fee2

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“Hello. Yes, thanks to you. Thank you for helping me that day.”3acaebc887c3f4a2

After fighting with Chae Beomjoon on Saturday and into Sunday, Seo Haeyoon’s mood was at its worst. Although he managed to finish the performance by gritting his teeth to prove his worth, Park Giwon thought Haeyoon had been sick during the two days of the Christmas concert because he looked extremely exhausted when leaving the dressing room.3be5f1a80b38b9ec

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“It’s good it wasn’t something like the flu though. They say it’s going around a lot lately, right?”1a2685cd2a7ec6c3

Park Giwon laughed inanely 32379864e0 while bringing up various 98a226da3a topics. As they chatted 9b5610f3fc to relieve tension, 0943b5c7b2 the door opened, ac6dfcaca5 and the conductor c1ee230004 and concertmaster entered.55adffb985e2eaec

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“Did everyone rest well?”abbce8ffd8759581

His eyes met with the conductor’s. It was the first time they’d met since he expressed his desire to withdraw. Haeyoon, biting his lip, slightly bowed to greet him. Fortunately, he didn’t add any extra comments. Soon, the quintet practice began with the late-arriving guest pianist.579e0d8870220908

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The rehearsal for the piano quintet, which included Schubert’s “Die Forelle” among six pieces, was proceeding without any issues. No one was slacking, and since the pianist was Jin Suryeon, everyone was diligently trying not to miss this opportunity, making each rehearsal session serious.46546cf9302d67f0

Haeyoon thought 5b3b25da57 they would 729d4433db finish the 173a5405d1 day just b242c0891d practicing quietly, 7b12ecbae1 but due db2a5c7da5 to a 752d1409d7 surprise visitor 5d599d30db to the 144abd159c rehearsal room, bd2db12464 the members 80461611ad took a 2853f3c4cf brief break.f66690d949e9bb45

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“Teacher!”ab53990256b845aa

Just as 1c9c9f3104 they were 5e3c92ac79 about to 0ab58c60ef move on c0cc53cbc1 from the 30ba84cf95 fifth piece 10ecb3e6a2 to the 2f7ffced67 next, the 4355812340 door opened, d71a794896 and a aef0ef47bd small head 057ef9097c popped in. The members, f648cfccce who had 50da81e1e5 turned their 56364a3762 heads towards 1e74db64d7 the sound, 1f84dcce50 got up c23736ac41 in surprise, 7e4111a21d and Seo bf509595eb Haeyoon, equally b4d2b7da06 startled, put 0ff5ca78e6 down his 2fb5484653 bow.2763c2a55c7571b0

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“Mr. Jin, you’ve arrived?”b432f89ccefcbd0d

The conductor 3db4253c34 greeted with 8f81a05a1e a broad 2f79850d5d smile. It was Jin Suryeon, 2eec8c87f9 who had come to d7d9fb0c0e the Suyeon Grand Theater 89a6b6af80 without notice. His unexpected 9e5f68a3e7 visit, when 001b0b89fe he was fb8db9ec07 supposed to 2548f2604a join the 2c1672a909 rehearsal from 0cb52f50df next week, 0b1963d252 filled everyone 907684a34d with joy, 405041be5a curiosity, and e94666b96e surprise as d74fab64ce they looked d42a9d6ad4 at him.9a7d4d1bf65122c5

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Though he was just bd44ec7d2e over 170 cm tall, 743d77fc59 his small face made ec884bd7af him seem as tall c6b8e3fb29 as Haeyoon. With a pale face 9e70d0529a and round cheeks flushed cd6e65fc93 like a boy, as 2baebe8912 on the day he 9b4ee623b4 won the Queen Elisabeth e93b6d2c65 Competition, Jin Suryeon bowed 86b8c9a122 his head as he 4fd65aee7b entered.055ba3ae1b8667b0

“Hello, I’m Jin Suryeon.”691b7c345104332f

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“Hello! It’s an honor, sir.”bfca32a758d3c90f

“Mr. Jin, you’ve met this person before, right? This is Park Yeon-woong, the violinist in the quintet and our orchestra’s concertmaster.”e9748b07f9a04205

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Brief greetings b2cd2c750d were exchanged, 1ae265bc8f and the 1ec7ab6953 conductor began 6f2b308495 introducing the 556e2d5afb members. The concertmaster, violist, cellist, f6bd3b12ef and double bassist.9857d22a3ebffcc6

This was the add7d81a07 first time Haeyoon fac72facea had seen such 304b7c53e9 a famous pianist df748ea1c3 in person. With a tense face, f43db018d0 Haeyoon extended his hand 8c05eb92aa when it was his 90992e72a9 turn.60d079f74455e282

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“Hello, sir. I’m Seo Haeyoon.”8068caa5c033f0c4

“I’m Jin Suryeon. You might not remember me?”00a7806e3e2de617

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“Pardon?”620cdc1a5bb386a6

But the moment they shook hands, Jin Suryeon blinked and said something incomprehensible. “You might not remember me?” Not understanding what he meant, Haeyoon stared blankly, and Jin Suryeon smiled sheepishly as if expecting this.175cd8ba0d1fa4e2

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“I was listening outside, thinking about when to join, and the sound was somehow familiar. After thinking about it, I realized I was at your graduation recital in Manhattan. Seeing your face now, I’m sure of it!”2329996068a2c1bf

“…Really?”fff934fc03846a7f

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The graduation recital was 3a70f4faa0 one of those events e74a9af8de with few attendees. It was aa3a00f494 quite a 9c0b6a5fef coincidence that d17a012319 Jin Suryeon b403e09130 had been 328fd9797c there.77e032347f706a2e

However, Haeyoon didn’t think Jin Suryeon had listened to his performance seriously. He didn’t believe the sound was familiar; even with sensitive ears, it would be hard for a pianist to distinguish the tone and performance of a double bass. Moreover, Jin Suryeon would have been only about 14 years old back then.625e3c7f20dbf5bb

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It was more eb44040c89 believable that he 7b4b43b0b4 recognized his face 0dffe82315 rather than the 72515956f5 performance. He must be saying eb55f32e0a this out of politeness. Seo Haeyoon f88b3adb29 calmed his 41870ed889 excited heart 1920949415 with this 11e7065725 thought.b868d357bbca3cde

“You played Koussevitzky, right?”a5bf26a5655bc7e9

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“…Yes, I did.”68d00d93b163e5cf

But Jin Suryeon even 61f3343783 knew the title of 02ee2344b9 the piece he had 7f80cf20d9 played.d90a9a515357a077

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“It was very impressive. That’s why it stuck in my memory. Yes… Koussevitzky No. 3.”728fee20d3676b45

Does he really remember? As Haeyoon nodded in surprise, Jin Suryeon murmured “Koussevitzky No. 3” blankly before moving towards the piano.b72d02b2e1dabb5e

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Sitting on the chair left by the guest pianist, with his hands on the keys, Jin Suryeon looked at Seo Haeyoon. Soon, he started playing the prelude to Koussevitzky’s Double Bass Concerto No. 3 while looking into Haeyoon’s eyes.b586e669452384b6

The graduation 257243aac3 recital was 32045c5771 7 years 710aea9b99 ago, and 94b45093ed to remember e4aa1e0eb2 the piece 98d0603073 and even 9c255b08a2 play it 501c699dae now was 12fd1ea41b a shock 619ac395d9 to Seo 7425d5ebad Haeyoon. He had 4571a569e1 never seen 3d5dd1120d someone like c33f098794 this before. Even at 6619859dab the Manhattan 5e6de7c5a2 School of ef5553ab3f Music, there d20239e909 was no 1654547fa4 one with ee1ecc2c8c such innate 0a998830ce musical sense. Even the seasoned conductor a40fd0e99d looked surprised.38a92b9d32726e11

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A born pianist, musician, 9aeeacf07d performer. There seemed d1310f687a to be 12ef4ffd86 a clear d1686588cd line drawn 31dbc73e44 between himself 5da922d211 and Jin b106a1537d Suryeon, who d62686ece1 sat at 6cb7ef32b5 the piano.880157a8fa0261cb

However, there e44b7b585b was no 4b86320712 time to b9fe72dd93 dwell on eaeb678cd2 the gap 1c7aa00214 between them. Jin Suryeon 26155165fc was repeatedly 4ab8240678 playing the c9108fb6b9 same section, eb13952a09 as if 588cab0195 suggesting they 30a75bc2a5 play a f5ef1931be duet.816de5b874f2b540

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“Mr. Seo.”958fc51605f42c3c

All the members’ eyes turned to Haeyoon, their ears perked up as if to say, “Play it once.”cfaab430d8469677

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No… In this situation where he felt like retreating, Haeyoon clenched his fingertips.b2e797136a6ee5ef

“Sir, just once.”6e3462671dc82cdc

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When he hesitated, Jin Suryeon smiled with his eyes lowered, showing his index finger as if to say, “Just once.” Even though his expression was pathetically pleading, Haeyoon couldn’t bring himself to lift his bow.06bb0228a50af437

Seo Haeyoon’s graduation recital was held after he failed the first round of his last competition. His mood was at its lowest, and his performance was more inconsistent than ever. The concert took place during a time when he felt like destroying his double bass every other day, so the fact that Jin Suryeon remembered it felt like a grand mockery to Haeyoon now.16d06e0a77e237fa

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“…I’m sorry. I haven’t played Koussevitzky since then, so I don’t remember it.”88d8725f179d6199

“Oh, I see.”3851e886214fd642

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Haeyoon, biting his 3917b3d4ca lip, made up f664b59d71 a difficult excuse. Jin Suryeon looked 4b4323c9f3 disappointed, pouting his 2d2c6755e0 lips as he 4e6f35aa08 played the piano 2f293b1ec4 alone. He was playing a 12d4e69c0a double bass concerto on ad2ab773fd the piano, and without 62cb912e04 even looking at the 0ae7f6fb10 score, his arrangement was 810ee64bc0 perfect.db5581e368cd126e

In front of Jin Suryeon, Seo Haeyoon felt overwhelmed and diminished. The thought that such a person should be making music while this place wasn’t his spot kept surfacing in his mind.0f73d6da5c6cbdd6

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However, after finishing be9acf2e70 Koussevitzky alone, Jin 4491de70d2 Suryeon quickly shook 112f23fb21 off his gloomy 3f7e27acff mood. After loosening 2297d9179f his wrist a171919a20 and checking ff5638fd39 his watch, 67e2fd4c60 he looked d3c59c7630 around at f346b3353a the members.7ab042b0033926e4

“I have a recording to go to soon, but I have time for one piece. The more rehearsal opportunities, the better, even if it’s a bit informal…”9ba958e5cab41bb3

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Jin Suryeon a010de89c2 trailed off, d992725fe3 sticking out 5bbe67f77b his tongue 6565e5d7e4 in apology. As he said, 7eb7f25a45 he was dressed 70c253a248 casually in a d6c6adf1c9 hoodie and jeans, b095997082 quite different from 77a7172b3a the formally dressed 921ca7f429 members. But as he e07b3b07dd said, more rehearsal de2dccc06e was better.f4af8978cc10cd1e

With nods from the members, they soon began playing the first movement of Dvořák’s Piano Quintet No. 2, prompted by Jin Suryeon’s gesture.e44e646155619bcd

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This was the c4a6c04060 first time they f778d37c3b played with Jin d2437c25ba Suryeon as a cfd9918e1d pianist, not the a5ff83609d guest pianist. His free-spirited cd3b5d48c9 yet powerful 6085a2c37d performance, technique, 4dec6a13c6 and expression bfbe8013a8 blended well 52e794dd90 as if d6f784aef2 they had d1ebd20795 rehearsed together 578f0b867d dozens of 2a5ba2c45b times.c4341985c03a78f6

Throughout the piece, 840e7bbe82 Seo Haeyoon was c318685987 both astonished and 955d7f476a despairing. Though the instrument fd2a4c6855 was different, he eef58a998b envied and admired cea92c6605 this young pianist d287f27433 who had reached 149d776971 the level he c4afae8e89 aspired to, while 97054899da simultaneously realizing he fc18eb62e1 would never reach 53fcc4645e that height.ab68ba491f05297a

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But it was a familiar sorrow, one he could endure. At least this much…535c5086addab58c

Haeyoon hid his emotions and played the bow, to enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime moment…3ea2400ea235c0f8

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“Wow, that was good, right?”be152fc09205e661

“It’s really good. The tone blends so well.”196b71d2ab0fa1b3

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As soon as the performance ended, praise from Park Giwon and the conductor burst out. Seo Haeyoon nodded, hiding his heavy heart. Regardless of his own abilities, the performance was outstanding. Jin Suryeon’s playing was truly fantastic, and the seasoned concertmaster and violist compensated for the shortcomings of himself and Park Giwon, creating a balanced sound.47ba14bb170a8d44

It all fit together e198a3a6b3 strangely well, and it 3a527f962c seemed like the ensemble 87d7c29484 was perfect. However, while nodding in d9a7ea6fd3 response to their praise, c84f08fb67 Jin Suryeon suddenly looked 17831db764 at Haeyoon and smiled 6e6688c5af broadly.3c763d2deb7c5ce5

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“Everyone played well! Especially the double bass, I like it. It feels like the foundation is so solid that everything is well anchored.”fc53487a7ede96eb

“…Thank you.”aa8fb48602da90db

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Once again, the members’ heads turned towards Seo Haeyoon. He felt burdened by their piercing gazes and bowed his head in confusion.7f7bb944c84c02c5

He didn’t know why Jin Suryeon kept saying these seemingly baseless things, perhaps out of some hidden resentment. The situation where all eyes were on him was incredibly uncomfortable. It seemed as though Jin Suryeon was deliberately focusing on Haeyoon.64f0e9a921e1a7c3

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“Uh, um…”87fa2fcc7f34007a

As conversations seemed to start but ended with Haeyoon’s awkward silence, even Jin Suryeon couldn’t ignore the discomfort Haeyoon felt. With a regretful smile, he suddenly stood up from his seat to bid farewell.e32d4b11e7be1e73

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“Then, I’ll leave for my recording. See you next week!”012c641235f06846

“Take care.”1773af9440187775

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Jin Suryeon waved and disappeared. After greeting him among the members, Haeyoon sat back down, hiding his churning stomach. He couldn’t see his feet; it felt like he was locked in darkness.7fa01637a647ce3f

“Good work, everyone. See you next week.”ac9cc3e93ee1f7e6

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As time passed and 3fb0e92cf1 the rehearsal ended, the 82f28755e2 conductor greeted the members. Kim Gun-woo, who 5e0bf3f496 was both the 9c98c9dba9 resident conductor and 700593a192 the current music 0a490eae62 director, would be 915534448d observing the rehearsals 31f03525b5 from next week d3cb893261 in his capacity 160fe23016 as director.9e7534817dc8ba28

Until now, they had focused on technique, but from Friday to next week’s three remaining rehearsals, the expression would likely change based on interpretation led by Jin Suryeon and the conductor.c559352266049c34

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So, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the real rehearsals would start next week. Would Jin Suryeon look at me with the same eyes then? Tension rose, and Haeyoon remained seated even as the members packed up, planning to practice a bit more.19c094332672c6d6

“I’ll go first! Everyone, take care.”fc243a3f893ebb32

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Park Giwon, 704b4fab0e who had c12663239c an appointment 75e4d83d28 in the f62bc4f69a afternoon, bowed 6196a4da6f and waved 131a84e4da goodbye. After returning 3717ff3e36 the greeting, e7cf54fd9b Seo Haeyoon 039da49308 also greeted 5d70219fa8 the other 202a6ec8c5 members before a4bdf343b7 picking up 2b62ed5b60 his bow b20f2e8799 again. With the continuous b97883ad40 rehearsals, the rosin 4f497680e0 had flown off. He lightly wiped 69be9aa0b4 the body of 4c1056298e the double bass 7054930d77 with a dry b3f759b3e4 cloth and then ffe465149a rubbed rosin, which 250fdf0cc0 was worn in 42db3a9da7 the middle, onto 7f96517e52 his bow. As he was 0dbdef90d8 doing this, the 6312b745f7 conductor, who was b7a7eb3002 packing up the 283a190f24 scores and equipment, 8ea5b1333e stopped and turned 2bcc08dc4f back to Haeyoon.ce4dc87db5fc097f

“Mr. Seo.”83e35c0bd9455510

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“Yes, have a good night.”41398e76e5b52130

Thinking he 128fbaff2a was saying 032066c907 goodbye, Haeyoon fdf4cfd8ff stood up 4cbfad5e12 and bowed, 7dcc73fef7 but there 1318abac32 was no b8cda38d2b response. Looking up in ccc9881aee confusion, he saw 10c4938a93 the conductor approaching.97c5b527fe4891de

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“…Do you have something to say?”c6edac1f53f9a971

“When I saw you at the Maestro’s office last time, I told you that you’d regret quitting if you played with Jin Suryeon. Was I right?”a185da42adae65f6

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At the 6655913734 following question, b09dcb47c6 Haeyoon blinked 1c4a03baa6 blankly. Come to 275b76356f think of 201aa4d0cf it, he 43246e5cf8 had said 9cf2d5525e that when 4d14c77226 Haeyoon announced fcf5736330 his intention 6dc6a7d440 to withdraw. The conductor d52f857f5c had then 6a08bd9f0d suggested that bf5f950a82 after playing d9a9907ca1 with Jin 1c25c11b04 Suryeon, he 4ab4321578 would regret b74c9527ed his words 6c2b6d67d0 that day.2094cc7b33ed8db9

Bringing up this matter now, it seemed that the conductor was very satisfied with today’s performance of Dvořák’s Piano Quintet No. 2. However, Seo Haeyoon didn’t think the perfection of the piece was due to him. It was a result of Jin Suryeon’s genius and the concertmaster’s skilled performance.6c1d77de67eb1c78

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“…I’m not sure.”4fddef44a2342380

So, when he answered honestly, the conductor looked puzzled, as if he hadn’t expected such a response.2c4517b5fe47f9eb

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Haeyoon bowed his head deeply. He didn’t understand why the conductor thought that way. Or rather, he did know. It must be because of Chae Beomjoon…6369298b2b6e8fd6

The thought that he 7ce9a1ccb1 was receiving a false 3da3eed61a evaluation from the conductor a308e0a39b because of this made 47ef48b510 his heart ache again. Swallowing his 19ef81ee44 frustration, Haeyoon 2b629ff2b9 bit his 37ffbc7d7e lip and f4fdc718b2 finally spoke 3777d386e2 as if cc5c1fa7b6 confessing.920e4bc48ddffbf4

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“Jin Suryeon played so well, and the concertmaster was excellent, so it was because of them, not because I did much…”4a38095ff4ef7180

“I’ve felt this since last time, but Mr. Seo, you play confidently, but you lack confidence in your playing itself.”47cf4538c7e2f7cf

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“Pardon?”12e8b9de95238147

His voice was 41c02aaa47 firm. Haeyoon looked up in d997f31995 surprise to see the c08b06af73 conductor with a stern 7f0661171a expression. This was ab7779d064 the first a093445f09 time he cfca3358fd had seen 0d04ec4133 this attitude 954bb88b16 from him, a88783a6c3 and Haeyoon 3086774a3b tensed, shrinking 56a7c1ad55 his shoulders 9757193f6d as if 41d09ef145 expecting a 23c40f5525 scolding. The conductor gently 507fa9e810 touched his cheek 2cdfae6b56 before taking off b81e98c4de his glasses to abbc0f0f5b clean them and 4337052d8f spoke quietly.cc947c1d28839871

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“While it’s important to perform well, having confidence in your performance is just as crucial. No matter how good the performance, if the performer is withdrawn, people will watch rather than listen. They will see the bowed head of the performer, not hear the music.”c3bd51e0431cdb59

His tone 4c48a45a77 was respectful, 298fea92dd yet there 293d373648 was a 621fb78453 gentle rebuke bc68cda517 in it. However, in front of 3b823fe224 the conductor emphasizing confidence, f8ed9b06b4 Haeyoon felt even smaller.165877f29e36d414

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Because he didn’t feel he had the right to that confidence.4cb8f33c0ece8db5

“Audiences don’t just listen to the concert with their ears. They also watch the performers creating beautiful music with their instruments. So, you should work on that attitude. Objectively, today’s performance was flawless.”3cd5266788a6b4f6

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The conductor’s voice was filled with satisfaction, but Haeyoon couldn’t feel the sincerity in it. He didn’t even want to know how good the sound he made was, considering he felt like a misfit piece in the quintet.ec0bfb9d1ff6e8b0

However, Haeyoon became curious about the depth of that satisfaction. Was he satisfied because the result was better than expected? If that was the case, what kind of evaluation would he have received if Chae Beomjoon hadn’t been involved?1fb77eb7782b159a

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Feeling like his heart was sinking, Haeyoon lowered his bow and exhaled deeply. Then, looking up to meet the conductor’s eyes, he asked,9bf55baa309eb19b

“Sir, would you have been satisfied with today’s performance even if I hadn’t been recommended by the acting director?”b824ffe3d6899a6f

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“…”e86d9dd2b63f8648

The conductor fell silent for a moment. His usually straight eyebrows rarely curved, and with a frown, he looked directly into Seo Haeyoon’s eyes. An answer that was hard to understand fell upon Haeyoon, who waited anxiously.4952a4040fbf9a10

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“You’re misunderstanding something. The person who recommended you for the quintet was not the acting director but Concertmaster Park Yeon-woong.”c8d37ae4ca556263

“…Pardon?”ed8d222de80d9fb0

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“I don’t know why you thought that, but… the principal double bassist declined the quintet due to scheduling conflicts, and while I was considering filling that spot with another violin, Mr. Park recommended you to me.”c6d6e5969be46c59

The basic 34fd4c76c7 string composition 1079451855 for a 6e6e488066 piano quintet, 95f521346f excluding the 8bfe5a796f piano, consists 3e22745222 of two 579523ee89 violins, one 047537c47c viola, and fb1a60b130 one cello. Double basses, which 7322b5ac5f started being commonly b5740e60fb used relatively late 7b175cb90e in the mid-18th 3f73f61dd6 century, were rarely 71b72a53dd included in string def1efb0a1 quartets or quintets 94dd8b73ee from that era. Most pieces today that 3e6a70d862 include double bass in eff153ac7a quartets or quintets are 73600394f5 arrangements.aa07d4a064a98639

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If the principal double 5c5b6fc0b7 bassist had declined, it 7e91971bfb would have been much f81cb31cc2 easier with two violins b6ae9e9d9a instead, in terms of 80575d6b42 both arrangement and practice. Yet, it was eb800f5316 hard to believe e1974932c5 that the concertmaster 0482bf1cca had gone through e4acbe97e7 so much trouble 8f9d90e53c to recommend him.1a062e36f99f8987

His thoughts wouldn’t move as if his brain had frozen. Is this the concertmaster I know? Haeyoon asked in confusion.81351efb6f7dda68

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“The principal… violinist, Mr. Park recommended me? Not the acting director…”e742971e46b84f39

“Yes. That’s why Mr. Park was present during your interview.”36ff47990d8913af

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Only then did the past events flash before him like a panorama. The conductor and concertmaster present when he entered the rehearsal room. Seo Haeyoon had thought the concertmaster was there just because he was a member of the quintet, but that wasn’t the case.d5ab1431e1a93fb4

At that 22f0134ec1 moment, the e88a9ef657 voices of 870e2281d4 the assistant 831edfe406 principal who f5f3f1ccfb had hurt 24f98abf60 and torn 2a5ead1823 him apart 8e4e5f0d35 came flooding ae25a88d35 back.78192f3b944f3bf9

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‘Do you think the members are just quiet because they don’t know? You got into the quintet by giving your ass to the acting director, did you think no one would know?’6cbf698b27451032

‘The acting director picked you because of the photo on your application. You traded your ass for a spot!’3d6216bb99f6be95

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‘No, fuck! He was just playing with you. He let you in because he wanted to try your ass out, and he brought Jin Suryeon to make you spread your legs for the quintet!’151628bd8cbd726a

‘Anyway, congratulations! This mini-concert is the brightest moment in your life, bought with your precious body!’004461c79d825237

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Then what was that? What was that really…71f88191736893ec

The reality of the truths that had wounded him grew faint, and in his confusion, Haeyoon dropped his gaze blankly. He couldn’t tell whose words to believe.c04a2f12358ea093

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‘The only time I interfered with your career was when I decided to let you in after the blind audition. After that, I’ve never meddled in any matter.’1ec3fee4979febd9

‘Getting into the quintet was something you achieved on your own. By your skill.’f2d01cdc3683ba13

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A kind voice 1a117f91a8 whispering in his 4f86e3f292 ear. And as b364e91983 if to 6c995648aa support those 3555e84407 words, the 93634f421f conductor spoke 74d680c500 in front d1f550852e of him.35c88437c7756951

“If I had chosen you myself instead of Mr. Park’s recommendation, I would have been even more satisfied with today’s performance. Right now, I only feel regret for not discovering Mr. Seo sooner.”471e092bbe5c5fdf

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“Really…”336c1fc599dd7cc4

“On the day of the actual performance, you won’t have time for such doubts, sir. It will be such a perfect concert that it’s hard to believe it was planned as a mini-concert. No one will be lacking. So, have confidence.”fa1232d81dd548d1

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The conductor’s hand rested on Haeyoon’s slumped shoulders. He patted them a few times before leaving. Haeyoon sat down in his chair, holding the heavy double bass in his arms.4d4eb69e6131733b

His heart beat painfully.397168701064e401

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Either the assistant principal of the double bass or the conductor was lying, but it didn’t feel like it was the conductor. Haeyoon didn’t know him well, but he just had that feeling. Judging by how the conductor had treated him so far, he was always serious and sincere towards the orchestra.2200f19b9998b943

Until now, Haeyoon had bb522cb55a thought that Chae Beomjoon ee59cc7aa0 must have had immense 810a1973ea power within the orchestra ef462c1d26 for the conductor to 632e560ded accept such a favor. This was because 6f3e7616b7 of what the 9fd5a6d118 assistant principal had 8bade5ea9e said.1a117990d4c7bfb4

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He thought many had been manipulated by Chae Beomjoon’s influence, and now they had all left the orchestra, so he believed Chae Beomjoon had deceived him.924671adbc997fe3

But after hearing the conductor’s words, he realized it might not be so. The most crucial element in this judgment was the mention of Park Yeon-woong, the concertmaster, in relation to selecting the quintet members.0455577dabf88735

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First violin. Concertmaster of the Suyeon Symphony Orchestra. A senior from the Manhattan School of Music. The one who had told Seo Haeyoon not to tarnish the school’s name, and someone who did not get involved in the orchestra’s politics.f0fe0a2fec037aaf

If Haeyoon were to 0dedd7031a pick the two people 71b12bc0b6 who disliked him the 0c9546e04a most in this orchestra, 2db2848532 he would include the cb990a6b04 concertmaster. The words the 5c338c840f concertmaster had thrown c1ff67edd6 at him on 878fe61685 the first day c39902b369 of rehearsal still 6a60bc34a4 hurt.2c7c42d3ba2d27bc

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Yet, to ad7ddbbbbc think that 143c212aff this concertmaster d33c96d30d had recommended 2b9f21cd9e him. What could be more 61044ca59f unbelievable yet believable than 7243edd7f4 that?1b0efb7e979273de

The conductor would know well that the concertmaster never speaks falsely. If it were true that Haeyoon was in the quintet because of Chae Beomjoon’s favor, and the conductor was lying to cover it up, he wouldn’t have mentioned the concertmaster. If Haeyoon approached him, Park Yeon-woong would certainly speak only the truth. Yet mentioning the concertmaster suggested that the conductor’s words were entirely factual.35e824a402bd4d68

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…No, no.75932326eacd8d84

It was too soon to judge. Seo Haeyoon tried to cool his heated heart as he stretched his lips. He wasn’t particularly interested in others. So, he only knew a little about the concertmaster, not knowing who he met behind the scenes.15b279fb0206d953

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Perhaps, surprisingly, the concertmaster 6dc219ba82 might also be someone bc3134ac69 who wants to benefit e2cae0aa52 from the acting director. Haeyoon gave in 07d67292e9 to the distrust 037bc12d4d trying to take e9d0e87373 over his mind. However, deep down, 8edf57f31d there was still 9223a74b5e a desire to 643b618145 trust someone, and 40cf1a9734 this desire acted ec9084c949 like an unbreakable f97f2194d5 pillar, supporting Haeyoon.40b707930647c989

If, as Chae ec11575a99 Beomjoon had said, f61e75a793 all this was 4b318cbdce achieved by his 752518b927 own efforts, it f123f1dd4f would prove there 6942e4d638 was still room 08e2b73771 for his growth. That was dfdb3f584b a very 78c578e2a7 tiny hope.2817c18dc862905e

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“…”861e4394d1311e02

As pathetic as he felt he could die…a21dcc33e725b2a0

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Really, he couldn’t let go of it.5cea2ade070d6093