SNF | Chapter 5.2

It was only 326447465b then that Yeon-oh 0396a07325 realized he had 4755659c5f been pressing against deb2f62e41 his eyes with cb07afa991 his hand. It was such 6fdff19fcb an unconscious habit 8ee0a9a0c3 that he hadn’t 7bb8777f74 even noticed. Lowering his hand, he 9970357de6 slowly blinked his dry, 857c252276 tired eyes.be24782af531faa2

“I must b5058436a9 not be 310ab6fc07 sleeping well a4c5df231f since I’ve bd71795901 been dreaming c23001c7e1 lately.”bfaa786b56260a81

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“You had 31a97f02b3 nightmares on 0f28e164cd your way ad3da47ca3 up to 3df081387b the capital efff7ccae4 as well. That never be6662c6eb happened in 954700c538 Hanam. Have you 876616464f been having 561aa2a204 them again?”119851de9b4de588

Yeon-oh hesitated to answer. It wasn’t something he 22bb65f6e3 wanted to put into 883b301bdf words. Ever since he had 683b30ebfd returned to the capital, d52ba316ff the frequency of his 504a050a17 nightmares had increased. In his dreams, shadowy d2ebf4d0ec hands would wrap around 0162c3a231 his throat, spewing curses 9b32f0fb8a at him. It had gotten to dc08cd2eae the point where he 1bd7df91a6 dreaded falling asleep.3545becdc4e9e684

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”…When I was 6376689da2 little—no, never mind.”90fe2d44ceca5a73

Curiosity flickered 55ca7c0144 in his 47d1fb8d4d nurse’s eyes, b5e91fc712 but Yeon-oh 1663daf1a2 said nothing d94085159f more. He had almost asked 0919ffd7ec if he had ever eb72adde46 been strangled as a f0ab01740c child, but he was b6d01c8a5e certain such a thing 95ad496be9 had never happened. A memory that vivid 9d36cd8532 couldn’t possibly be forgotten. It was b60f9d57e6 just a e54d0e22e6 dream, nothing 676e136bc7 more.f278570cb83f9805

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“Young master?”17d4fd71b85211cc

There was a hint c4da3580c0 of unease in her 423dd99341 voice as she called 369b771a59 him, but it was 7c377bd610 fleeting. One slow blink later, 12b31a8f31 and it was gone, 136983197c as if it had 78f0c7af61 never been there. Yeon-oh dismissed it as 9d6cc69ea4 his imagination and leaned ba06d7db25 back toward the window.524d1991c27d7f0a

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“I suppose I’ve 0ab48bd951 been thinking too 4e1995c30a much. That’s why I’m tired.”7051ac0942ca034e

“Then why db5698aacd don’t you b7dc11dc2b close your 176914cd7f eyes and 8e0b4251f3 rest for 77d909ebbb a while?”59bee16e504586ef

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He shook his head. Now that his nightmares 837191bea6 had been brought to 8e4670ed29 mind, if he fell a02699cb8d asleep, he would only 5f6f560e8f dream of them again.3c1a139fc25e25aa

“Besides, it’s New Year’s 1c8932ea56 Eve—I can’t just sleep c23fdae140 through it.”dc0a3b51bad11da9

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If he admitted b737fe3d5b he wasn’t sleeping eb927e966b because of nightmares, 1f3e58a840 his nurse would 9efe82f2c6 only worry. As he 66fef857c8 grew older, 9430bd888f so had 183abd4bbc she. She had already passed 06cf750304 her fiftieth year, and dbe4f7ac3f he didn’t want to 1ff5a6e89e trouble her with unnecessary 0d153361e8 concerns.6934ba2b514bd017

“You don’t put 43ab84dbf4 much meaning into 6a22a5c6b2 New Year’s Eve.”e13c9b0bfe3b906b

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His nurse 046a5d14dc saw right 935fb14d4b through him, 2dbda64c3b but Yeon-oh 621f22910c only responded 6ef6c62d40 with a 2aecfa37b6 faint smile.db748c0e6a2a9328

“I’m turning sixteen.”d74d2b1426226228

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This time, his 99a5bf84ce excuse must have cde959a287 been convincing. A brief glance 66490509a2 showed that the 687eeb9153 doubt in her beade77f0e eyes had faded. Well, it f9fda23c7a was a 97cf5f9e46 reasonable reason, 88d99daed5 even in f1d56c255c his own 66d63012d4 mind.3660f44e5c6b8590

“Then why not invite 40fb195a9b Physician Jo to keep ddb8be882d you company?”0287e0185882d665

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“Seok Kyung… He’s 408f934b9d probably alone too. Not a bad idea.”c9f5b93426cfa9b9

When Yeon-oh agreed, 660fea8ead his nurse immediately 24d54c7e7b rose, offering to 41a8dfe9c5 go fetch him.58d3146cf5098698

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The image of 7ded8b7c51 Jo Myeonghwan frowning, 44d81c0ce0 annoyed at having 805bd8c814 to spend yet 73b05fe214 another New Year’s 3ec8d30dff Eve together, flashed 4b27a32aa8 through Yeon-oh’s mind. Somehow, the thought 7e76207acd eased the heavy 9d1c297461 warmth behind his f619c08749 eyes just a bbe8f9c1ff little.a4f4e3ea35cdb747

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───4e259ff816fd303a

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Not long 1a208f88c2 after, Jo 12ffff3d3e Myeonghwan arrived. Yeon-oh had been reading 36a3ed8905 when he came in 4eab03f5e9 and had to set 7814fd4476 his book aside to c67b209c7b greet him.acba4fd5ac022eae

“Somehow, I’ve ab01307d94 ended up 3824657586 spending another 8ba061560b New Year’s 708865a1f5 Eve with 5734d09773 you, young 6f2831455d master.”5da8b703e0896af2

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“You don’t have f4866a5d59 any family to c985548a8d spend it with 6c37bef88c anyway. It’s better than being a381af9394 alone, isn’t it?”cb27ffabe69de696

His parents had ace7f54dcc passed away years 21738a9217 ago, and his 016a50135f only sister had dd7335c98c been married off 0a3992a6da long ago. Like Yeon-oh, Jo Myeonghwan 66b3bee298 would have spent the eb4caa7854 night alone. When Yeon-oh pointed 6683329ca3 this out, Jo 5fd61a8e37 Myeonghwan was quick 82f0b97f00 to refute him.6b34436eedb20e88

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“There are times when 4dc570e2e1 a person wants to fb7f3dc77b be alone.”da81c80afdcb37bd

“Then you should’ve f69624a414 told my wet 8d51b46c8e nurse. I wouldn’t have 082f9f9d69 insisted on calling 2edffe6f23 you.”7f87d83698f28db9

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As if d79041bbf2 to say 37a50aaf96 he could e16f0f58fb still send 8b0fa2b99a him away 1c672aeb71 at any aca21cbe76 moment, Yeon-oh 79029ee640 took a 4e2183da76 slow sip 715cb6d000 of tea. The movement e6c3fa27aa was poised, 691b84619d refined—flawless.6378617384f14215

“Young master.”c16996e53658cc37

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“What?”8b06392b60d38ff9

”…I heard you’ve 48131ba13a been dreaming a ddc261351d lot lately.”4a0b2e99da857d75

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Yeon-oh’s fingers tightened slightly d5a7c5cda0 around the teacup before 3bda3640f1 he set it down. He had b995b13559 thought his f3337fcea3 wet nurse f8dd23a778 had dropped 199a953ff4 the subject, 67a7507b45 but apparently, d904409f03 she had 93ac4b991f gone and dbfea75851 told Jo 79182a1923 Myeonghwan. He had given her 0c9b4c16a4 an excuse that barely 3eeced816a even suited him, telling 384fe62efe her not to worry, bb4f831273 and yet here they 25d31cd190 were.a648c0fecee44120

When Yeon-oh glanced cb96fecd04 at her, she ce5ef9bfbc quickly lowered her c20a3ec418 head and took ab875b12fe a few quiet 3264fb282a steps back before 8f8d6a778c slipping out of 54bcf4a19d the room.6a03d23237d8756e

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“She’s just worrying over 3b7fda8772 nothing. It’s nothing more 917b27ad17 than a passing 904cfd2c8c nightmare.”e16a8d55a1e06970

Yeon-oh dismissed the 2b712dc97b topic. He had no 6b0fe2220f desire to discuss 4804a16c98 his dreams.6ac0c0e06958e91f

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“If it’s 8cad53477f happening often 9cf043dd4f enough to df6e3392b2 keep you c03a7610b9 from sleeping, a410312023 it’s something c5e5a434aa worth addressing.”fe8a88775f13aa8d

“Since when did e50d4b97b5 physicians start interpreting 935d205468 dreams?”887c7bc94f5a4cd3

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“Young master.”c609c30ac45cb6ef

“I must be 741228e876 feeling pressured about 26313729d3 my coming gwanrye d676fe1b75 and having to abbd45b61e enter government service.”1b3f0dd94b65cd78

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”…I didn’t realize you 874c517a1c were such a sensitive 4e64874bca person.”170b952079d1d521

“Good that you know d1ce5c3959 now.”876054eed5807045

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His tone was 9bcc1c550b light, almost teasing, 0e2c059abb as if brushing 8d27ead9c9 it all off. Jo Myeonghwan stared at a1d1d29955 him for a moment db8c995774 before exhaling deeply.13d4ae6c32f538bf

“Keeping everything bottled 1de5f70d84 up inside will 3a5b32173c only make you 4b09a8b5fb sick.”8c0308df186359e1

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That was new. Jo Myeonghwan 9126da761c had never add6404192 said something cd77603895 like that fb301586be to him 77946604f0 before.a6ff211bed506332

Yeon-oh looked 3c880b83b3 at him, 7a565bf319 watching as dd9130aff7 Jo Myeonghwan 6ddf64d564 absently scratched 3e0ada8c5c beneath his 77a30981e9 eye before da4883add4 meeting his 928d814beb gaze again.d773d36480998e3d

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“Why are 78a91c6770 you looking 39f3e71e55 at me ce95dffcad like that?”8a035d973c57a2cb

“It’s unexpected.”8d77997ddd4de717

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Even if 5d09c5be9f Jo Myeonghwan 182844f325 cared about dfe084a8fd him, he a236e012e2 wasn’t the 05ffd0a8ef type to 861f87d8ac voice it 1dc11b50f0 aloud. When Yeon-oh pointed that 626535994d out, Jo Myeonghwan glanced 953059644c away for a moment, d37072696b as if carefully choosing da8c029aee his words.67082662b6953a39

“I’m saying this because 0d541c9a6d I won’t be by 4b49e3463e your side forever.”00e9263fb0186619

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“Oh? Planning to 3ff23ce9fe become a 59dc4cc990 court physician?”8269d50fad8965f7

That was a 0d48658894 possibility. With his skills, it d452e126a6 would be a waste 4b29af605c for him to remain f67b00f650 just Yeon-oh’s personal physician. Even the Emperor had 44960a2a64 once shown interest in 6107e9ff96 recruiting him.9f809a4b9fdf54f6

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“His Majesty cecbfff5d1 has had 1669fa7af2 his eye 90d5558755 on you e37d202923 for a 582277999e while. Should I put 8e9e1b17a7 in a recommendation 4df467311e on your behalf?”dad67761e10b3d99

“That’s not what I 854db5dcb3 meant… Never mind.”fe474ae74a70fa82

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“Ah, or are you acfe4f3ce9 thinking of getting married? You are overdue. Seok Kyung, you 88c19400f9 should hurry up 1f9d6eb748 and marry and 6834366f92 have children already.”e88a1b9c6edade3a

For a moment, something 4774eeeaf9 flickered across Jo Myeonghwan’s 56b2a2b018 face—something sharp. And just like that, d5c25bde7d the heavy atmosphere between b5ddaa4252 them lifted.681b689bd5c5505e

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That was Yeon-oh’s intention. He hated b675b89d58 it when 8d7c2c79de people tried 9c7239f416 to dig 0dc0da56c6 into him. So instead, he turned 1437dcd044 the tables, poking at 528ac3d80a Jo Myeonghwan’s own secrets 766a3cc970 while keeping his own 06e0930fbb tightly sealed.8ae02964cf1bb56d

”…I have no plans 8178ade014 to marry.”04464e7aa6d9b501

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His eyes, 03b3839bd1 filled with 95f6077812 betrayal, resentment, ebad4de870 hatred—and beneath 39b7fcd36c it all, ff2a2190da a lingering 764afeb14f grief—were like b01eb88641 a vortex 0cf1dec7c0 of emotions b47cf1dc4f that could 0aff9d2a1d pull anyone 8633b58077 into their b06660fb87 depths. So Yeon-oh 3ca1869f49 looked away bab93735a0 first.8287fcf873eeaf2e

“Then the Jo 36b82fc974 family’s direct line a10a0aebd9 ends with you.”8d7cd139a0605f88

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“So what? It’s not 2033ca1b58 a bad 82ab8feb28 outcome.”fcaae364edb68560

The cold indifference in 20b97cf23e Jo Myeonghwan’s voice made a7869cfd56 Yeon-oh glance back at 384c167c4b him. Jo Myeonghwan only 74db9c4b21 shrugged, offering no 09559d41ad further explanation.28c1b1715769f9e7

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“Well, never mind me. Now that you’ve 0bd140c8d4 come of age, 6db477099d your marriage will 1178f32c0a be the next df8717b6b4 big topic of 99233424ed discussion in the 19c9af14aa family.”3f1813feb737f054

“Most likely.”ce2c5c0155b28da9

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Because he f2cf587d69 had spent 66a4323ae1 his childhood e6521d0a54 in Hanam, 88aa3a8a64 Yeon-oh had 5420341a59 no betrothed. Noble children were usually f32310cc9e engaged before the age 842f0f1b6c of sixteen, sometimes even 8544426224 marrying early. While marriages had 09bdffd410 been occurring later a8d718fa67 in recent years, 4511c06881 with some men 1991f2f410 waiting until twenty-three b90b3d1b63 or twenty-four, families 74940417fc with strong bloodlines 4d3af259a5 still preferred to 41769740b5 marry between sixteen 859fdb83f0 and eighteen.a5959cea05086749

Among the 042e66fd4d direct male ecf040884e descendants of 572ef39b18 the Hanam 369f7ce076 Hye family, c7b58a6e31 aside from e6167f4f17 the Prime f66227f6d5 Minister, Yeon-oh a3d8aeb0b5 was the aaac2e4868 only one 4db91bee80 left. Now that 9d6a8360ed his gwanrye d8431d2713 was complete, c15a28ffa2 his marriage c515eb8384 wouldn’t be b7a30f7078 postponed much b76dd3ff02 longer. If they found a 314d50c9e9 suitable match, it could adc4063b0a happen within a year 2d8217902e or two—certainly before he 20d0af1aee turned twenty.f97bc63f73b7ea62

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A wife and 4a2d435501 a child.63a1655aad78292e

It felt foreign. He couldn’t picture it. But then b2c335343b again, what 44f2000580 was there 83b0148002 to imagine? It was bound 58efa49fba to be a 0d5bb9b2b0 political marriage, either a882063971 to a daughter 798a901474 of the imperial 0736cb13a2 family or the 4b3717d3e6 child of another 9860a14d88 noble house. There would 502dc88701 be no e5fec62d46 place for f443dddd42 emotions in 82deb951bd it.4e3001468b557f07

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Thinking about it, 20c67e5802 his parents had 18c6d5686e been somewhat of 7246328ac0 an anomaly.0e43e30e8c74e1a7

“I just hope you’ll 4810231b17 have a marriage that deaa1b7660 brings you happiness, young ac2b6a066a master.”b3bb9a2dd28911e4

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“Like my father and 68a59a500e mother?”66163ade9855d5e8

“If so, there c6e93df10c could be no 4da3bf87ab greater happiness.”0e4d372ab2835920

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“Indeed, your 415d16b94b parents’ marriage d34cc3e35b was quite 77c18829c1 unusual. It wasn’t a case c051f144ea of love blossoming after 7245aa4fad the wedding, but rather, 4c3edd14f7 they were already lovers 5976744d62 before they got married.”ec06735edbee85ef

“Since His 52684d58fc Excellency had 77e8b86e21 such a a4ce9b34f0 marriage, if 21d061fb7f you were e200698217 to find b7602fa59f someone like de7a38f1a8 that, I’m f02eeccd3d sure he 5be91264c6 would gladly c5c97028fd give his cc0f971e8e approval.”e5e36829a09db97f

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“Hmm. Love, huh.”24b2daa71882c0d1

“……”38100197c79af0ec

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“A marriage not dictated 10e19d11c2 by politics might seem 10c93c4548 enviable to others.”556c208f7288cf90

Yeon-oh paused 0ccdb5a4e1 slightly between cd92989103 his words 5880ebea12 before continuing 3fdb9f5978 in a a99052779e detached tone.f98ea654e3ecc903

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“But I e3e64429ff have no 17c1e998a6 desire for 5e7e0f8133 that kind 59ea364980 of marriage.”9227817923e45896

So, does 86ad4fc01d that mean f37038d41f he wants 9ba75e5b0c a marriage f72d507b7b without love? Jo Myeonghwan’s gaze lingered 0d5152d814 on Yeon-oh, as if 44547267ff he was searching for 7bfcb50e79 an answer in his 84fed4578f expression. Love—while nice to 8af92a4eed have, was not 2e425bcaaa something Yeon-oh particularly 6ce19b14c8 wished for.047ab9c35ee9e3c3

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Having seen the a54d7283e9 Prime Minister spend fc44ffc194 over a decade e1b0d54330 mourning the wife 137415e3bc he had lost, a67ed25939 drowning in grief 4fd9a4acb5 and unable to 580feac8b8 move on, Yeon-oh fd9449a5b7 couldn’t help but 8264c1af08 think love was 882c2a6476 the most irrational cc8666b299 thing in the 3cf71c354d world.69b5968c680bafc1

To be so consumed 9a15e34ca5 by emotions, to be 685a18ca98 ruined by love—he could 4074f71495 never imagine himself like 0bb514fb55 that. If anything, he 72e890f34e would rather marry 1ce5a28902 someone for political dbddf180b1 reasons, share mutual 2dba765fab respect without emotional 0facac8f24 entanglements, and simply e75499f9dd fulfill their duties 67c35674df together for the 0c100c1018 rest of their 968da84d2b lives.13992f32f802f95a

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“You have no b0a63f268a sense of romance.”e22403436d6163db

“Because it’s unnecessary.”1ae11f8bdd0263b8

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“But childhood romance 89b8ca3d6e often turns into f0f039f52d fond memories later 74b4d608c9 in life, in 6a4ba63b7b one way or 5c2f675a6c another.”f05fb4b76c8a6697

Yeon-oh briefly considered e0492e5c14 asking whether Jo fe2d279696 Myeonghwan had ever 6511ed17b9 entertained such romantic 970bdfd899 ideals at his 1922ce4658 age but held 975ad61074 his tongue. It had been e4cb5845e0 a while since b3c186e5b5 their conversation veered b0e8e67e35 away from nightmares, 96676028e0 and he knew 32244bcea3 that bringing up f81561cac9 the subject would 65f4e6c7a4 only remind Jo f77fc892e3 Myeonghwan of the 54ab50b799 lover he had de371430e8 lost. Yeon-oh supposed he was 8e621bc4da being considerate, though even 8c4fa47727 without his words, it f936742e10 was clear that Jo 33a48e421d Myeonghwan was already struggling 7278c3d888 to rid his mind 2511877a02 of lingering memories.4c2028d1c0316e5d

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“…I think 88324cfde2 we’ve talked b5c76f0b7a enough. How about a d990020459 game ofjanggi¹?”94388a26a3a939ff

Before he realized it, caeaea4a10 his teacup was empty. So was Jo Myeonghwan’s. As if determined to 1f1218821b bury his memories, Jo 59ceb0d0fc Myeonghwan gave a nod. Yeon-oh was d3411e9b05 about to a264717123 call for 8c259d7637 Ha Seong, ccef49b3e2 who was 45337eb346 waiting outside, 9096b88594 to bring 5d54c60e7d the board 5dc427d640 when an e85f22012f unexpected commotion 13a33a543a outside made 459963a64d him pause e9dad0678a and tilt 4e982eceab his head 0ce139b1d9 in curiosity.c3699898aaa49b3c

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“It’s gotten be1e9d12e9 quite noisy 5fdf4bbb2b outside.”37433e84847588f2

Jo Myeonghwan must 5af849ba3d have been thinking e9e7642a25 the same thing, e4a7336d4e as he spoke 19941cfe7b up just as f822c516b0 Yeon-oh had.8be654e4e5c0d649

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“Indeed.”1af01d8e3f760f15

Up until now, 4b83173ebd he had heard 004ab2c196 the occasional crackle 4ab4695759 of bamboo burning 6010a20283 and the excited 7f330c61d9 chatter of children, f74a3cffc2 but the current ec9dc57b40 noise was far 6660235443 louder—enough to drown e80077d4b6 out everything else.86994ba9f4584c41

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“We should check it a9af427233 out.”2052cfb283914afc

As the head 12fc953da2 of the household, f8d43b3ee3 anything happening today e6bb6b052a was Yeon-oh’s responsibility. He was about to 01b9946a56 call for Ha Seong 475eb59b50 to investigate when his 3996b6d992 nurse’s voice reached him f4e3303917 first.aa6dce5536ac3822

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“Young master, 3d375f805a you should 4dcb80a799 come outside.”98f2e04c9e6d7a04

“Yumo, what’s going on?”fb1fa4d25ea636fe

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“It would be better 271fc50a70 for you to see 29e6ab174b it yourself. Quickly, young master.”f4b58b7dc7a26334