SNF | Chapter 1.1

“…It’s because of you!”

A hand suddenly shot out from the darkness, gripping his neck with a brutal force. The person muttering incomprehensible words was so deeply shrouded in darkness that even their gender was indiscernible. All that was visible was the pale hand clutching his throat.

He couldn’t see anything.

This was enough to evoke an unknown fear. As he desperately tried to push the person away by grabbing their arm, Yeon-oh realized that his own hand had become incredibly small. The resistance of his tiny hand was weaker than the flutter of a butterfly’s wings, and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn’t free himself from the vice-like grip.

Am I going to die like this? Is this how I die? The strength in his hand, which usually only caused small scratches, slowly started to fade. The breath trapped in his lungs had long been exhaled, and all he could do was gasp in an attempt to breathe.

“…Young master. Young master?”

Just as he was about to close his eyes, resigned to his fate, a voice calling for him broke through. His unconscious world wavered. As his unconsciousness began to shatter and light seeped through, the terrifying hand that had been strangling him retreated back into the darkness.

“Young master?”

Pulled back to reality, Yeon-oh forced his heavy eyelids open. The face of his concerned nanny, who had been calling his name with worry in her eyes, appeared before him.

“Why are you sweating so much?”

The nanny gently wiped the sweat off his forehead with a handkerchief. Even after regaining consciousness, Yeon-oh lay there for a while, blinking blankly. Slowly, he raised his hand to touch his now-unconstricted neck, then patted his face. His hair was damp with cold sweat, sticking to his forehead.

“You were sleeping so peacefully, and then suddenly you furrowed your brow and made pained noises. I was so worried. Did you perhaps have a nightmare?”

“…A nightmare?”

A nightmare. Could that really be called a nightmare?

The emotion he had felt in the dream was certainly fear, but there had also been feelings of sorrow and betrayal beneath it. Could he really just dismiss this as a nightmare? But even so, he didn’t have any memories from his childhood that would explain it.

Still dazed, Yeon-oh tried to recall the dream—specifically the person hidden in the darkness—but the more he tried, the worse his headache became. Eventually, he gave up trying to remember and decided to label it as a nightmare. It felt like the only way he could breathe again.

“Yeah, it seems I must’ve had a terrible nightmare.”

As he stopped trying to recall it, the remnants of the dream slowly faded, and Yeon-oh straightened his posture. Although he still didn’t have full strength in his body, it wasn’t difficult to adjust his position. Once he did, his nanny also moved back.

“How far have we come?”

Now fully awake, Yeon-oh began to assess where he was. This was an instinctive move, trying to shake off the dream as quickly as possible. He reached out toward the window and asked his nanny.

“We crossed the gates of the capital before you woke up, young master. We should arrive soon.”

Hearing her answer, Yeon-oh pressed his eyes tightly. Whether it was due to the long journey or the recent nightmare, exhaustion hit him like a tidal wave.

“Is it because of the nightmare, or is this journey too exhausting for you?”

Sitting across from him, the nanny, who had been watching his condition the entire trip, cautiously asked. She, too, seemed tired from the long journey, her fatigue now evident in her expression. Yeon-oh shook his head slowly.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Your complexion has become pale. Should I have the carriage stop so you can rest?”

“You said we’re almost there. If it’s something like that, it would be better to just go and rest when we arrive.”

“Well, that may be so…”

The nanny, whose lips had been twitching, hesitated with her words. They had crossed the gates of the Capital City, so they would soon reach the estate, and it was clear that resting at the mansion would be far more comfortable for Yeon-oh and those accompanying him than staying in the cramped carriage. There was no need to say as much.

Yeon-oh, pressing his eyes tightly, opened the window. The sky was dark, with no sunlight to be seen. Though the winter season was naturally dim, the sight of barren trees and the sound of the cold wind whistling through the branches made the winter feel even more desolate. The wind shook the branches, causing the carriage Yeon-oh was riding in to sway, and the cold breeze rushed into the interior.

“You’ll catch a cold like this. What will you do if you fall ill?”

“I’m not that weak. I doubt I’d catch a cold from this.”

The nanny narrowed her eyes in concern at the chill that entered the carriage. Yeon-oh, however, ignored her worried words and let his gaze wander, observing the scenery outside the carriage. Despite the desolate season, the people seemed unusually lively.

“It seems like Chunjeol¹ is coming soon. Everyone seems excited.”

“Of course.”

Wrapping Yeon-oh in a blanket, the nanny responded. Every action she took was filled with concern for him. Yeon-oh accepted her care and attention, settling deeper into the blanket and continuing to watch the view through the open window.

Perhaps due to his condition, or maybe because they had crossed the gates of the Capital City, the carriage was moving at a slow pace. This allowed Yeon-oh to clearly observe the scenery as they passed by. As he looked at the road, memories of his time in Hanam came to mind.

“The people in Hanam must be excited as well. I bet Jin-a is the most thrilled. She was always so happy when she could proudly show off all ten fingers to tell her age.”

Just as Yeon-oh recalled Hanam, the nanny seemed to follow his train of thought. She shook her head, remembering the child from Hanam. Jin-a had been the most mischievous, but also the most beloved.

Unlike the others, who always kept their distance from her, Jin-a had been the only one who had gotten close to the nanny, and she had been a little troublemaker who was showered with affection. As Yeon-oh left for the Capital, Jin-a had cried so much that her eyes had swollen, but now, she would be eagerly counting the days until Chunjeol—her tenth birthday.

“You cared for her a lot, didn’t you, nanny? I should have brought her along.”

“Didn’t the Excellency give orders? Besides, the Capital City wouldn’t be a good place for her.”

The nanny responded with a trace of regret. Yeon-oh nodded in agreement.

The Prime Minister had instructed not to bring anyone from the main household of Hanam except the nanny and the attending physician, Jo Myeonghwan. The reason had been that the Capital City was overcrowded, but perhaps that wasn’t the real reason. Even if the Prime Minister’s instructions had been clear, it wouldn’t have been difficult to bring one little child along. But as the nanny said, the suffocating atmosphere of the Capital City wasn’t the best for a child like Jin-a. While the pain of parting was unavoidable, Hanam would surely be a much more peaceful place for her to grow up.

“…I see it.”

While they were talking, the carriage had already left the main road and was heading down a quieter path. Yeon-oh spotted the tall gates of the estate not far ahead and closed the window. After a short while, the carriage stopped, and they heard the sound of someone knocking on the door from outside.

Yeon-oh handed the blanket to the nanny and put on a fur-lined coat instead. Once the nanny adjusted the coat and made sure it was properly fastened, Yeon-oh gave a small gesture. The nanny opened the carriage door, and as it creaked open, the view outside flooded in.

If it had been any other day, the large gates that were usually tightly shut would have been wide open, and the family’s servants would all be out, bowing deeply as they welcomed the heir to the family who had returned after eight long years.

Yeon-oh quietly surveyed their figures. It was clear that these servants, under the command of the Prime Minister in the capital, were far more disciplined than the ones from Hanam. Then, Yeon-oh noticed a boy standing nearby.

The boy had his hair tied up high in a single knot, and he wore a red cloth with a lotus pattern embroidered on it around his forehead. Yeon-oh stared at the boy’s red headband. The family had many warriors, but only the direct bodyguards could wear such a piece. The boy appeared to be about Yeon-oh’s age, so this achievement was quite impressive for someone so young.

“I’m Gu Hasung. Though I’m still inexperienced, I will serve the young master from now on,” the boy said, his nervousness evident on his face. Behind him stood a nanny, a woman who seemed to be of similar age, and several unfamiliar faces, all bowing respectfully.

“We will serve the young master closely from now on. This is Ranyoung,” the boy continued.

“Is this why you told me not to bring her?” Yeon-oh muttered.

“Pardon?” Gu Hasung asked, confused.

“Never mind. But what about Father? Is he inside?”

As Yeon-oh descended from the carriage with Gu Hasung’s support, he scanned his surroundings and asked about the Prime Minister’s whereabouts. Ranyoung, who had introduced herself, answered his question.

“Excellency has not yet left the palace. He knew in advance that the young master would be returning today, but he had to attend to an urgent matter. He asked me to let you know not to be disappointed about not being greeted personally.”

“Isn’t he the Prime Minister of the nation? It’s only natural that national affairs take priority over personal matters. There’s no need for him to apologize, and I have no reason to be upset,” Yeon-oh replied in a mechanical tone.

Ranyoung, who had been watching his expression carefully, seemed relieved when Yeon-oh answered so calmly.

But Yeon-oh’s words weren’t meant to comfort her. He wasn’t genuinely upset. The words she had spoken were similar to those Yeon-oh had heard from his nanny over the past eight years. It was always on his birthday when she would say something like, “Excellency must be busy with state affairs. Instead of coming to Hanam himself, he sends a short letter and a gift through the servants.” His nanny would always speak with such a sad expression, unsure of what to say.

But in truth, Yeon-oh had never paid much attention to it. It didn’t matter to him, and his nanny would pity him, which only made it more awkward. Whenever that happened, Yeon-oh would smile, unsure of what expression to make, and in doing so, it only made her feel more sorry for him.

“Well, I’ll put off greeting Father for now. I’ll go see Mother first,” Yeon-oh said, slowly starting to walk. The servants quickly cleared the way. Gu Hasung, eager to guide him, stepped ahead. Since Yeon-oh wasn’t familiar with the layout of the capital’s estate, he followed him without hesitation.

The nanny, trailing closely behind, looked around, probably trying to refresh her memory of the area. Yeon-oh, also glancing around, soon noticed the sharp stares directed at him and spoke up.

“It seems like the people here are very interested in me.”

Yeon-oh casually expressed the many gazes on him. Unlike in Hanam, the curious glances here felt particularly sharp, pricking at his sensitive skin. Because he didn’t speak louder or act differently, the gazes slowly faded away, piece by piece.

“Of course, the heir of the family returning to the capital after eight years would be a matter of great curiosity,” Gu Hasung commented.