SRPG | Chapter 2.8

[Party] Hyoppang: Anyway, to summarize—
[Party] Hyoppang: We’re currently preparing for Gerras First Clear.
[Party] Hyoppang: So we really don’t want any unnecessary variables.
[Party] Hyoppang: Because we’ve had people from other guilds try to infiltrate our ranks through Gudok.
[Party] Hyoppang: And we’ve had guilds deliberately provoke Gudok to drag us into a war.

[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: And all of this is because Gudok is a dumbass.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: He’s so lazy he never records videos or takes screenshots.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: So we’ve been falsely accused way too many times. FFS.

[Party] Hyoppang: ㅠㅠ Not even exaggerating, this has happened a lot.
[Party] Hyoppang: That’s why I followed you.
[Party] Hyoppang: I was worried that maybe you were just another troublemaker trying to bait Gudok.
[Party] Hyoppang: If something did happen, we needed proof to defend ourselves.ㅠ

Now that everything was clear, Hwanyoung felt weirdly satisfied.

“Well, thanks to them, leveling up has been pretty easy.”

Maybe it was time to part ways. He’d grind a little more, then call it a night.

Just as he was about to bid them farewell—

[Party] Hyoppang: So, Barcode-nim…
[Party] lIlllIIl: Yes?

Hyoppang called his name.

‘Oh, no way.’

Could it be?

Was he about to get a guild invitation?

Or maybe an offer to cooperate?

Or perhaps information about the hidden monster they had just fought?

A handful of possibilities flashed through Hwanyoung’s mind.

“…Joining a guild would be a hassle.”

Outwardly, he was playing the role of a fresh, innocent newbie. But in reality? He was a worn-out veteran on the verge of crumbling into dust.

He didn’t have the energy, drive, or mental stamina to devote himself to a guild like he had in the past.

He just wanted to enjoy the game as a game—without the stress of guild politics, social obligations, or endless responsibilities.

Especially since he had a full-time job now. He simply didn’t have the time or stamina to throw himself into the game like before.

And, most importantly…

“…Their guild name is just too lame.”

The name of Hyoppang and Gudok’s guild was ‘Golden Spoon Ability Users’.

Hwanyoung couldn’t tell if the name meant ‘Golden Spoon + Ability Users’ or “Golden Spoon + Low-Ability Users’, but either way, it wasn’t his style.

The first interpretation made them sound materialistic, while the second… was just pitiful. Golden Spoon and Low-Ability? No thanks. He had no desire to self-deprecate that much.

“If it was just ‘Golden Spoon,’ I could at least appreciate the concept…”

Either way, joining the guild was off the table. If it was a raid or siege cooperation, he’d at least hear out the schedule first.

But cooperation wasn’t even feasible right now.

Like most RPGs, Aeer Online’s boss raids and siege battles were balanced for max-level players.

Hwanyoung’s vampire, who hadn’t even reached his third job advancement, wouldn’t be useful for either.

Even in the Markosias raid earlier, he hadn’t dealt any meaningful damage. All he’d done was analyze patterns and call out commands.

“Max-leveling is easy enough these days, but… gearing up still takes forever.”

The last possibility was hidden monster information exchange.

“But I already shared everything I knew about Markosias.”

Aside from that, he didn’t have much left to offer.

A year ago, before quitting the game, he had dumped every major secret he knew onto the Aeer Ocean anonymous forum.

Still, he had some bits of info left…

With that in mind, Hwanyoung waited for Hyoppang’s next words.

After a brief pause, Hyoppang finally spoke.

[Party] Hyoppang: Take good care of Gudok.

[Party] lIlllIIl: …Excuse me?

The words were completely out of left field.

It wasn’t a guild invitation.

It wasn’t a raid cooperation offer.

It wasn’t even a request for information.

“What the hell is this?” Why was he suddenly being asked to take care of Gudok?

A cold chill ran down Hwanyoung’s spine. Something… something was very wrong.

His Aeer Online second act was taking a wildly unexpected turn.

[Party] Hyoppang: Honestly, we can’t fully trust Barcode-nim yet, right?
[Party] Hyoppang: So we made a decision within our guild.
[Party] Hyoppang: From now on, Gudok will be following Barcode-nim around.

[Party] lIlllIIl: NO NO NO HOLD ON.

Hwanyoung typed frantically. His fingers moved faster than his brain, driven by pure survival instincts.

[Party] lIlllIIl: Let’s just part ways here and go our separate paths.
[Party] lIlllIIl: I’ll pretend I never met any of you—Hyoppang-nim, Gudok-nim, Eco Cup Discount-nim, all of you.
[Party] lIlllIIl: I swear, I’ve already erased everything from my memory.

[Party] Hyoppang: Oh, don’t be so cold.
[Party] Hyoppang: This is fate, isn’t it?ㅎㅎ
[Party] Hyoppang: Besides, thanks to you, Eco Cup and I got hidden mob achievements.ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

[Party] lIlllIIl: …I’m sorry, but… who are you?
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LOL are you already hard-cutting us off? That’s crazy LOLOLOLOL

Hyoppang clung to him desperately, while Gudok openly displayed the ‘Shocked’ emote in front of him.
Meanwhile, Eco Cup Discount spammed laughter in the chat.

[Party] Hyoppang: Barcode-nim… don’t you remember me? ㅠㅠ?
[Party] Hyoppang: I even paid you to keep Gudok company…

[Party] lIlllIIl: …Excuse me??

[Party] Hyoppang: Are you really going to take my money and then abandon Gudok?
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LOLOLOLOLOL ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ㅋ ㅋ ㅋㅋ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
[Party] Hyoppang: That’s not fairㅠㅠ
[Party] Hyoppang: Gudok will be so sadㅠㅠ

Wait. Wait.

Was he talking about the bounty money he received yesterday?

But that was a reward for reporting Gudok’s location! It wasn’t payment for some escort mission!

No, hold on—shouldn’t this kind of thing go the other way around?!

Shouldn’t it be “Take this money and leave my kid alone”, not “Take this money and stay with my kid”?!

How the hell did this get flipped upside down?!

[Party] lIlllIIl: Hold on, let me get this straight—
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LOL just think of it as being assigned to watch over Gudok.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: Might as well keep him under control while you’re at it. LOL.

[Party] lIlllIIl: ㅎ…

[Party] Hyoppang: Look, I know Gudok is loud, disobedient, and annoying.
[Party] Hyoppang: But deep down, he’s actually a good kid.

Hwanyoung’s mind flashed back to all the legendary family dinner conversations he’d heard in real life.

“I know my child is a little rowdy, but they’re really kind and responsible deep down~ Please take good care of them~”

“…Is this really happening?”

That day, Hwanyoung’s fate was sealed—not only was he still a slave-nim, but now he was also the guy who got confessed to first and had to figure things out later.

[Party] Hyoppang: Oh, and one more thing!
[Party] Hyoppang: Watching you fight that hidden boss just now, Barcode-nim… You’re kind of a veteran, aren’t you?
[Party] Hyoppang: If you ever gather people and create a guild in the future…
[Party] Hyoppang: Don’t forget to take Gudok with you ^^

[Party] lIlllIIl: ????????????

[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LOL HOLY SHIT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: Temporary disposal wasn’t enough, so now he’s trying to permanently dump him on you??? LMAO
[Party] Hyoppang: ^^
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: Hyoppang’s got the mind of a scheming male lead from a drama, LOL.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: Vampire-nim, you blinked, and now you’re the tragic heroine getting sacrificed.

Gudok inched toward Hwanyoung’s vampire character.

The golden-haired tanuki beastman stopped right in front of him, his face shy and hesitant.

Then—out of nowhere—Gudok used the ‘Confess’ emote.

The adorable raccoon boy dropped to one knee and held out a rose toward Hwanyoung’s vampire.

…What the actual hell.

Before Hwanyoung could process the madness, Hyoppang put away his axe and pulled out a giant cello.
Meanwhile, Eco Cup Discount summoned a grand piano and plopped it right in the middle of the ice cave.

[Party] lIlllIIl: ………

Then, the music started.

Doo, doo-roo-doo, doo, doo-roo-doo, doo, doo-roo-roo…

The unmistakable background music from every dating reality show echoed throughout the lowest level of the Snow Ice Cave.

Even someone like Hwanyoung—who barely watched TV—recognized the melody instantly.

“…This is the confession song.”

The song continued.

Doo, doo-roo-doo, doo, doo-roo-doo, doo, doo-roo-roo…

“…I’m gonna lose my mind.”

Hwanyoung pressed down on his slightly upturned lips.
He was laughing, but something told him this wasn’t the time to laugh.

<System: ‘Gudok’ confesses.>
<System: ‘Gudok’ confesses.>

Gudok spammed the confession emote over and over.

Hwanyoung quickly pulled up the emotion menu to click ‘Reject.’

But just as he was about to click—

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

The apartment intercom blared loudly, startling him.

His hand jerked to the side.

<System: ‘lIlllIIl’ accepts.>

“…Huh?”

Huh? Huhhh? Huhhhhhhhhhh????

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

[Party] lIlllIIl: Wait, I was answering my intercom just now—
[Party] lIlllIIl: My hand slipped—
[Party] lIlllIIl: I meant to click ‘Reject,’ but, no, wait—

<System: ‘Gudok’ is overjoyed.>
<System: ‘Gudok’ falls in love.>
<System: ‘Gudok’ is euphoric.>

[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLO I GOT A SCREENSHOT LOLOLOLOLOL
[Party] Hyoppang: ^^ I recorded a video.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LMAO LMAO LMAO Gudok is yours forever now, Vampire-nim.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: We hereby bestow Gudok upon you. No take-backs.
[Party] Hyoppang: Congrats on being Golden Spoon Guild’s first couple! ^^!
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LOL I knew it when Vampire-nim said Gudok was cute.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: This is true love. I acknowledge and bless this union.
[Party] Hyoppang: And now that I think about it… your avatars match like a couple’s outfit. ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

Hwanyoung needed to say something—anything.

But then—BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

The intercom went off again.

And then—BANG BANG BANG.

Someone was knocking on his front door.

Hwanyoung rushed to answer it.

“Who is it?”

[Neighbor]: Hi, I live downstairs. There’s water leaking from our ceiling… Are you using your bathroom right now?

“No, I wasn’t.”

Thankfully, the conversation didn’t take long.

[Neighbor]: Alright, I’ll call the landlord.

“Okay.”

As soon as the neighbor left, Hwanyoung bolted back to his computer.

And on his screen…

BANG! BANG!

Rose fireworks exploded above Hwanyoung and Gudok’s heads.

Eco Cup Discount was showering them with petals.

Hyoppang was still playing the confession theme on his cello.

And Gudok?

Gudok was spamming the magician skill ‘Rose Throw.’

Red roses were sticking into the ground in a perfect heart shape around Hwanyoung’s vampire.

“…I’m doomed.”

There was no coming back from this.

At this point, what could he even do?

Hwanyoung just gave up.

His mind instantly started rationalizing.

This wasn’t real.

It was just Aeer Online.

Just a game.

This was all for fun. Just stupid dopamine-fueled nonsense.

“…Yeah, I mean… I played along with the slave thing, so… this isn’t that different…”

[Party] Hyoppang: Oh, by the way, we don’t mind having couples in our guild…
[Party] Hyoppang: But if you two flaunt it too much and ignore everyone else, we’ll have to discuss kicking you out ^^
[Party] lIlllIIl: …But I’m not even in your guild??
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LOL ohhh so you’re not denying the couple part?
[Party] lIlllIIl: No, I mean—a master-slave relationship turning into romance raises serious ethical issues—
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LMAO classic ethics class response.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: But I don’t take ethics, so I wouldn’t know LOL.
[Party] lIlllIIl: ;;;;

<System: ‘Gudok’ is shy.>

[Party] lIlllIIl: No… this is…
[Party] lIlllIIl: This isn’t right…
[Party] lIlllIIl: I’m not the kind of person who just suddenly starts dating someone without even flirting first.
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: LMAO is that what you’re worried about right now???
[Party] lIlllIIl: Of course it’s important!
[Party] lIlllIIl: Relationships should follow a natural process—
[Party] Eco Cup Discount 300: Confession first, flirting later. Let’s go.
[Party] Hyoppang: This is totally like a drama plotline. ^^
[Party] lIlllIIl: NO, IT’S NOT.

But no one listened to Hwanyoung’s protests.

And since they were at the lowest floor of an isolated dungeon, his pleas simply vanished into the void.

<System: ‘Gudok’ tells you to trust him.>
<System: ‘Gudok’ is confident.>
<System: ‘Gudok’ is overjoyed.>

“….”

That was the day Hwanyoung earned another unwanted title:

From Slave-nim to Confession-First-Relationship-Later Guy.