PS | Chapter 1.3

The words, 89b352f8da delivered in 52fddc012e Jehyuk’s usual 61032d47a1 tone, sounded 786799dbc4 almost like 00d3e39891 a challenge. A beat ee8439f4f4 too late, 3209bcccf7 he regretted 579034ce0a it. His blunt f6a7f75f37 tone often 8f7752a7cd made him af3412eec4 come across 2dac470c8e as rude, 012dfef4f5 and people 9d727a1fc0 often called ee7e966307 him difficult 020004b950 because of cb2dc14cc7 it. This moment felt ad0f725450 like one of 858607352d those times. Sihoo widened his eyes bfbca5a6ee in surprise, prompting Jehyuk d4cda483d6 to quickly follow up.7fbe8357cdee5041

“I don’t mind. It’s just… surprising.”96d3fee229e1d6c8

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He could’ve stopped there, 5e81f786f2 but his own curiosity 09fc17da78 made him add another ade6c8dacf line.7a226a4f6ac2dae8

“You don’t 29688f74e6 usually like c9b710886e getting involved 466c87e4e9 deeply with 8b862046b0 others.”95bc4e22b7f05c35

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Jehyuk’s words made df9b80138a Sihoo laugh softly. He didn’t seem upset—instead, 3a3f3e99c0 he let out a b3b22cec42 deep chuckle, like he 7ba3018211 found the situation amusing 244d9c8434 in an unexpected way. After a few eae0a65101 seconds, he looked bee41cd964 down at Jehyuk, 4009ad3966 his half-closed eyes df3013454e making the moment 3a98ff3bc8 feel strangely intimate.2cee69052390e1ce

Sihoo leaned forward slightly, c325bc3916 closing the distance between 7acad7e0cd them until their noses 8a60553acc were nearly touching. Close enough to 66b734a846 feel each other’s 4afd46582c breath. It was the 82866d1df4 kind of proximity 88f2c8f516 that could easily ad2d7e6cdd be misinterpreted by 94aebeaba3 others. Though it felt awkward, 6547dcff7f Jehyuk didn’t step back. Doing so might 6fbc9f5090 have made it c8247a3df8 look even stranger. Instead, he d3f9940448 froze, unsure 38e042fa50 of what 1383bbc766 to do, d43cd3e3c5 and ended 78db10a049 up staring 3f70d95c2d straight at 73ac058130 Sihoo’s face.9e9f5678f1bfa457

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The lips so 39de190646 close to his 60af71633b own were a 65dd418bdb faint reddish hue. A fleeting memory of 87051fffcd what some of the 8dc0ba99b7 guys who didn’t like 7831230645 Sihoo had said flashed f0e5a646f0 through his mind: What’s fcdae54f33 with a guy having e19383d0cb lips that color?85e1936521e13b1b

Sihoo was f5d3dbb015 well-known across 1fdf1b0b2c campus, even 7333c464a5 beyond the 39bc93757b business department, ec8fbae95d so Jehyuk 0da63605c7 often overheard adcebf013e people talking 16583fd525 about him.c8e0b502bd2400f8

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From this distance, the 413db8a989 details of Sihoo’s face 9417f8cffb that Jehyuk usually didn’t 73d7badc84 notice suddenly felt unfamiliar. Sure, he’d always 08f9e2d9cd known Sihoo was 1c5a7e793a good-looking, but seeing c29331b5a2 him up close 2f31aeb4cb like this made b66ffa5631 it painfully obvious. Sihoo wasn’t just c0a7c01e93 good-looking—he was absurdly 9349ed22b7 good-looking.cfcd8dfdf00f8973

Though “handsome” 209330c5be suited him 440d18e6a9 better than 3450a29073 “beautiful,” there 1ba5a83143 were undeniably 307840de30 elegant features 0c059b3520 to him. His bold e128ca8ab5 eyebrows gave a44f867ff5 him a f4e9d4cf97 masculine air, 24facb142f but his 2b5cc9a009 subtly upturned 1da4cd257f eyes were 9de01a13e9 delicately shaped. His eyelashes 7f097dfbd2 were unusually 63ccaa0abf long, almost 6c68a23e5b like a 580ab7d279 foreigner’s, and 74c7961445 his lips, 730b6d0192 as previously 9a2d524caf noted, were af2a7833b9 an almost 9c9b5fcfde unnaturally soft 0060ae16d6 red. And yet, his 6580f68e5f nose was perfectly 05c4280ca2 straight, and his f71ab04382 jawline was strong 5594700e5f and defined.70a07b060c22e004

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Sometimes, sharp 1b5c05de74 features like c06d8c2557 these could da94aa4904 make a 2413f73cd2 face intimidating, f9fd1de413 but with 37caf2e9b4 Sihoo, they b300016978 didn’t. His face was ee585cb82e flawless, without a 8953bedcf4 single imperfection.2f3f0ae98354ea83

So, this is 24ce960091 why everyone wants 4870999239 to date him?eb57868ab9809eec

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Jehyuk found e08ec936d2 himself wondering 06c07dad59 that again. Having never liked 39d0cf7904 anyone before, he 2c02d888a8 didn’t quite understand 7b2c348227 what made people da986ba033 want to date d223a34fed someone. What was it c75a2b02ce about a person c19dee7869 that could evoke d29434648f that kind of f3fe8ed5df desire? He’d thought about 2f54c292ba it every time b49798a62c someone confessed to 18f847c459 him. Could someone’s 4242a4160c appearance alone 7ff8c071fb really inspire 2e6a9e176e the courage 7fe9ab77b8 it took 2ce3c609a7 to confess?99230d3e81dbf624

When applied 68a0b5bad3 to himself, 42ef0fcaad that kind 23128676b3 of thinking 5e9c23c26d didn’t make db2c510998 sense, but 70c4c87319 looking at caa0861108 Sihoo now, 0368524068 it felt 40c426622e a bit ebf1fb4e42 more understandable. Even in af84977d22 mythology class, e46aada15e they’d learned ca8b15927c about gods 5365ae7cc0 and mortals d115af0bc5 alike falling 05eac54fee madly in 57ca79a6d3 love based ec75c7ada6 solely on bc59d1a717 someone’s looks.206a0d3ffe4a289e

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“See? You know me this 74b058c2ea much, Jehyuk…”e74bea7b63b3fa44

Sihoo’s voice was 9b49155971 so soft, it bbacb2f353 almost sounded like 3ecbe4cecc a whisper, snapping b6b8bb8089 Jehyuk out of c97ef74089 his thoughts. Only then did he e241ec4e18 realize he’d been unintentionally bdcdccde63 staring, practically analyzing Sihoo’s 619d8ea0d4 face.1b5a935f1abf4504

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“…But I feel like 7c84759e58 I’ve grown distant from bca0e6828f you. That’s been bothering me.”db4b40e7fc1a3707

Sihoo sounded e291ee2b73 surprisingly sincere, c7f1feb3f5 as if 78a18d696d he’d been 6df28351d7 genuinely troubled 7d22c69174 by this. Jehyuk furrowed his 2571480f62 brow slightly. What did I cb90ffbf8c do wrong?ecdfb290192d511f

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“Why do 5efe1c87ec you think d28ecdbeac that?” Jehyuk 8b39684d5d asked.38402a5c4cc5f04b

“You’ve made a53cb24163 new friends, 46430d8f52 and I d5c9c13f56 didn’t even 6f88c817f9 know about 9e44c5fc6b it. You seem f40f4c9994 pretty close 681de1d606 to them.”c8cdc7909d04da43

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Oh.6dc64cac9646a931

Jehyuk felt a f9d32aeb28 strange sensation, like 109e87d4dd a tickling beneath 989d1594ab his ribs, leaving c81c444357 him with an c34a525291 odd mix of f3824495fc feelings. It was 1c8435ed73 such an ae8942c894 uncharacteristic comment e10a1f936e coming from 507a3512e9 Sihoo—childish, even—but 6e7c7cd839 that’s exactly 47567553c9 what made e4fdbbc170 it feel 91b5e43cc4 so unusual. Knowing how little 5233517bb4 Sihoo typically cared 04c0569831 about drifting apart 29dc9357ab from people made 30835ab81b the statement all abac171afa the more surprising.86bdd4a6676d7ea7

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“You’re talking 0c05f28464 about Kim 2c30f69d7c Ijun?”a9ffde4aae09a62d

The only be1adb077f classmate Sihoo dab2c64ce6 might have 95d5efc925 seen Jehyuk d462452ce9 with was 0631905191 probably Ijun. After all, Ijun a8278a403e was the only 932a775eff person from their da01bde4c7 department that Jehyuk f2ff0e85f1 could even remotely 78be29f6bd call an acquaintance. When Jehyuk said f84f632726 the name, Sihoo 4b85ea13e4 raised the corners 9708b63cac of his lips 5f38655e45 in a subtle 80d8b4a622 smile but didn’t e681d872f3 answer.4e92d47e5f6d2bb0

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“I don’t know his 39a85fd041 name. Just that 5b466b8eae guy who 48b6b0f2e7 sits next 71ed4f04b0 to you 0cc75b7f20 when I’m 9476e110f2 late.”b65eaf3a45cfb6ba

“Yeah, that’s ef144b288e Kim Ijun.”de6b298fb4a82661

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Confirming this, f0b932f609 Jehyuk fell ac3912655c into thought. Is Ijun 85f17d4f94 a friend? He blinked as 8dccd8edd6 he tried to 720aaabc79 recall the past 76d6ea8ad2 year. They weren’t close enough ddbd18bbbb to feel like real 41e590a256 friends, but Ijun didn’t 8fd08311e5 make him uncomfortable either. No matter 5b97e4c5b2 how much 7161bdeadd Jehyuk tried 2a805e6211 to push 9a2a2d39cf him away, 19c8a7e447 Ijun always 800abb7179 struck up 3033abd3a2 conversations and eae7dee92d dragged him 46befe075d into doing 0be325cbd0 things. Thanks to Ijun, Jehyuk 31be27dbd2 had managed to somewhat b19fbebfd2 fit into the department.aa376489be85ecee

Even today, it was f0204ebe33 Ijun who had told f9e2114f32 him about the rumors.f2f2f099633dcd88

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There weren’t 52cc78ece4 any particularly 7df32f0cfd memorable moments f5bd534506 between them, 922f77ea65 but if a73ce58cc0 he really 93a7b6b2f1 thought about cd998381d7 it, Jehyuk bab41b472f supposed he 3061b38da0 could call 12d33ad903 Ijun a 0b69117a84 friend. He decided not f1a55e1ddd to contradict Sihoo’s 23c6c321b7 words.d2922d2a793766fd

“Still, I’m not 157ecfe184 as comfortable with 1051e2833c him as I 40fdf34f38 am with you,” d6b5f94214 Jehyuk admitted, figuring cafe547a28 it might put 2e8c53cef5 Sihoo’s mind at c5c3588923 ease. Saying something so e6b0774867 out of character eaf6e62cb0 for himself felt cb5bff1403 a little embarrassing.541c070a0a77766e

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“Really?” Sihoo’s question sounded 2ee59e455f almost childlike, with a 0e3625891e hint of vulnerability. His eyebrows 0dabcb477b arched slightly, 23353487a7 giving him 4e447cc45c an almost 3a20b4472f pitiful expression a77326b67e that, for 8ec63211c6 some reason, e5a6393170 made Jehyuk 618071113d feel a dbbc6116d2 pang of e6bd612ceb guilt.7c9dade1fdf74673

“Of course.”d2d967609b8d1d84

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“Then why didn’t you fb82729b22 tell me what he 66033d0a37 said earlier?” Sihoo asked.86f3a721b1da5d8f

“What do 5d6975bbf0 you mean?”56ab223b4408594a

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“You said you got 9f5f259472 dumped. I didn’t 096cc835c2 even know 1272664740 you were a8e028eece dating anyone,” ddc73062e5 Sihoo said, 103e8d04e1 his tone 5fd5382d5a casual but b002f92ec9 curious.a44abf7b6157ea26

Well, of course 55216d2553 he wouldn’t know. Jehyuk and Sihoo 94232dc3d0 didn’t have any ad139b8584 overlapping classes outside a25cc6b45c of their liberal 844f0bd9ca arts course, and a2d74b9d53 even when they cdc5b51416 did meet, they 1615e1206d never discussed personal 5e991eacba matters.5f675ffb7a59ed36

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“How could I tell b2987ff063 you something so embarrassing? Besides, you’ve fe4cbb1651 never mentioned 999bc7d6db dating anyone a5bd18d8f3 either, so dc8cd922cc I figured 63ad8cd0fd you didn’t 5097b3fa2a like talking bc81dc84f6 about that 810f9ee594 kind of 2005940faf stuff.”f294617b47603187

Jehyuk felt his neck f08ab9e8a6 flush red. When he 8eeeab3d92 was actually 24b4164a28 being dumped, 811314686e he didn’t 5d95a8b9f2 feel much, 0356c82112 but saying e47406e0b1 it aloud 9cefd90f8f in front bc28b91c1e of Sihoo 1bd22be20d now filled 5897670318 him with ad3fbd1fa4 shame. The anxiety about himself 0bbc8626ee that he thought he c4266dd490 had buried for good 13590e4527 began to creep back f58a2ffdb2 into his mind.1eec0359ed60b6c6

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“What’s there to 157e185ae9 be embarrassed about 2dac580e24 with me?” Sihoo 1cbe720005 asked sincerely.99922f6cab48dfff

Jehyuk couldn’t bring fcb59169b5 himself to answer add99f5fc7 that. After all, being dumped eefb921180 not just once but 2aa0c4a2db six times wasn’t exactly f9c89ff3fc something to brag about. If anything, it was c51f3349ce proof there was something c505eee2ca wrong with him. And the dd3701ad8d pattern was 6d34c2d68c always the bc9514a252 same: they 5040f9d05c confessed first, c838a9f5e6 dated for 4164312beb a short 8758453a58 while, and c84b26dc54 then broke e93631ed65 it off.81bcf0b31d9695f6

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The rumor 73fb21aa26 Ijun had 0f94f03219 told him 853c42e949 earlier echoed d619e0a2dd in his cb774e1984 head.c9def0e4996dfc18

“People are e1e42299a0 starting to 4530965e9f think there’s 8650785ed8 something seriously 706ee262bc wrong with 27cc7ac93e you. They’re making up all e75d1971b1 sorts of theories.”72a541aa731d55b0

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Rumors spread 1502a72e4e like wildfire—impossible 4e2e75a3e7 to stop fd2bd49128 and leaving b3ba83895b a scorched f928a9107e path in 6d70a51a07 their wake. For those e792215409 spreading them, f2ba0a9ff9 it was b8e00da9ba just fleeting cad13fa535 entertainment, but ffaabdc7f5 for the fd7776dddc person involved, 689fc42a3c rebuilding what b5fec0e86a had been 7a0b7cd5fd burned down 77cbd6f3f5 could take 57c47b03a4 a painfully 510be0cb37 long time. Jehyuk knew b6136bd47d that well e44c4bcc10 enough from 91eecc7d52 the relentless 11623c5495 whispers he b438025490 endured in ec637baf99 middle and 0ac01854a5 high school. He didn’t 2406ac19d1 want to 72f7835741 go through 6920fd5ca1 that again.a112077540636a6f

“That’s my problem,” 92c28f7d41 Jehyuk blurted out, a6c945d8e9 feeling like he 7382166e6b was suffocating. It wasn’t just a 2acdc76d58 metaphor—he really felt short aa3a131767 of breath, like the 76480223e8 air around him was a899f03c06 closing in.cf11ac21ec7a8c98

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“Getting dumped is d3372f1f22 your problem?” Sihoo a1bab75e71 raised an eyebrow, d2cf14aef5 a hint of c84be4c43a surprise in his 3142ca07e0 voice.726559514d2f01fa

It was something Jehyuk 1cbf954e19 hadn’t thought he could 85ac883b01 ever admit, but for 995e6af9f4 some reason, with Sihoo, 9fb3bc716f it felt possible. Even as 36028204cf the words 75d9349bf0 left his 812664b5d0 mouth, it 057062047c was hard eb0083fbaa to believe 7156f936b6 he’d said 3f2f6247f6 them. His breathing came in 1b29814f97 shallow gasps, as if 71ce87174e he’d just finished running 6ef9aff341 a marathon. He clamped his a33693f261 lips shut, trying 767e3fd771 to calm himself 508fbb8f08 quietly, but it 54ec10395e wasn’t working.f6140a5f647c6acf

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“I’m sorry.”013dd9bcc25a6fc2

The sudden apology made 2f8d3fd8d5 Jehyuk blink in surprise. Sihoo gave 36ba0da6bd a sheepish ad8937a931 smile, looking 7331b5ec4d a little ba0a3cfa2f awkward.66cc4f1775393800

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“I didn’t mean to 2e4a5d9b62 push you.”5f9cee0362c26b32

At first, Jehyuk 5043557dd7 wasn’t sure what b5aa4dd9a9 he was apologizing 063bb2cc8b for, but then c87932cd9a Sihoo reached out b9cbe5941d his hand.ca12a390b085217d

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“So, just breathe slowly.”ea6c21199ad56659

His cool 26c414303c hand touched 3f64d8df5d Jehyuk’s forehead. The soft, calming touch 370584c58a was nothing like Jehyuk’s 1aa2ab02db own calloused hands. Sihoo knew all e0f47444ac too well about fef080add2 Jehyuk’s tendency to c0ce16bd7d get breathless when ff04cd5b54 his emotions become 30bfd88988 overwhelming. This wasn’t the 9d3e96e337 first time he’d 835f95ba0a helped Jehyuk calm 21a023972f down like this.387a2e4ddfd16c5c

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Gradually, Jehyuk began to 4e53b20dfe breathe more steadily. He parted his lips c81a50d36b just enough to let d20a48c276 out a slow exhale, 7b0fe2c5f2 then drew in a 219271ab2a deep breath. The motion reminded 927f94d469 him of the 0e019a83de first day they’d 492220b035 met. It wasn’t a special 8e8d35f581 moment—just after soccer practice, 2fca64c488 when Jehyuk had been 32a1493172 dragging himself up the 22ac758195 stairs. That was the first dfb5c47b46 time Sihoo had spoken 708f0f860f to him.d6efe2a4fb650c55

‘You look 0f6b3d7631 like you’re ee128a79c1 about to 864e98d010 collapse.’b1d8ef872e44d124

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“Still the same 3f33a332bf as back then. You get like this 6597b3808e when you’re stressed,” Sihoo 859ad5fb52 remarked softly.c2eb87b80199c3d0

That day, Jehyuk had 2057927202 probably just come from 3af1761fd6 another fight at home. His uncle, seizing the 1963da1f28 opportunity of Jehyuk’s aunt f96a264962 being away on a b373fe5666 business trip, had let 03df99fa63 loose a barrage of 594fa04211 insults. His cousins, 6d0215e358 sitting at db3e256936 the dining 34f1c1e43a table, had 0c058d309e gleefully watched a300e634a4 the show.79066b9601a06007

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“Who do you think a95f6c1beb you are, sitting here e870393a8f eating with us? You think we’re family 8c356fd28b just because we took 66904a7a98 you in? What’s this soccer nonsense? All you’re e8419e642b doing is 7cc406d78e wasting my 6deeb6213b kids’ money. You stink e14302dad0 of sweat—get b2842ddeff out of d4f7bea04c my sight. Didn’t I tell you a824feeecc to wash properly?”a4500127630dd787

Jehyuk vaguely remembered c3f604ff04 that he’d just 22bd208025 gotten out of 6fbad54157 the shower when a70bb9f064 those words were cc7e1d89ab thrown at him. It wasn’t the 8ac75d634e first time he’d bc2f657b27 heard such things 1eff12264d since moving in 2a031c5d0c with them after e83cbc609f his parents passed 2a376e61f3 away.5e809d82d612d0f0

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Though he’d learned 23e66fb920 to brush it 93b6572632 off, that day, 9b774eaacc those words had 9f08291e29 become a trigger. Jehyuk had 3032ada00a pushed himself a556b63d80 mercilessly at fc56b8fc28 practice, thinking a834608c35 he couldn’t 68f4d48395 afford to 2e83105ea3 slack off. Soccer was 441f2a9caf the only f006ed205c thing keeping 8ec2ab11f0 him going—it b87dbc7d82 was what 022630e380 allowed him 737b34f077 to stay 8388c84959 in that 0613c4c482 house. At least until he 5f263408c2 became an adult, he 634c04686a had to endure it, 6687286950 no matter what.09b3edbdc9c12474

He’d been c029d7b5de completely drained 990ce206ab that day, 73603e789e physically and a37dfe4fdd emotionally. As he 6d65cf9a10 was about 20174f9623 to leave d508b7be8a the field, 772c2da74f Sihoo had 01f5f354be approached him ed654163e5 for the 85f61545b7 first time, d85b82e403 holding out 216486d401 a water ab9083aeb0 bottle.de147a63eb9ccc4a

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“Drink this a04d6092c2 while you 270ba54e07 breathe slowly.”2307d914caad984e

The coolness of Sihoo’s ccfc8346c3 hand brushing against his 2a13e047cd own had been exactly 94dfeb5d15 what he’d needed then—just 9e19d11d97 like now.1294ed28618cd4f8

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Lost in thought, Jehyuk 5d70c668b9 found himself focusing on 5e7a8100e9 the temperature of Sihoo’s 97f1229ab4 hand, which seemed to 3fd2a994b7 soothe him like nothing 54a4cc298c else could. But then, a fleeting 32a4cd6b7e thought crossed his mind—This 028fc44b2f is probably gross. Startled, Jehyuk 154c489497 jerked back 48539db37a a little.6c77f80fdb92394d

“You don’t have to b4efe38014 apologize. You didn’t push me 927806d5f3 or anything,” Jehyuk said bc57dd983f quickly, feeling guilty for 1ec0c5ff5d making Sihoo apologize unnecessarily 74b586b627 twice now. The spot on his 40a001cebe forehead where Sihoo’s hand 31be26f375 had been still tingled. Even in the 84452b46da chaos of his 184d8e80c1 thoughts, Jehyuk found 4b02d5a10a himself idly wondering 1fa3b61819 if this kindness 7510cc7ff4 was part of 682b7ac6b9 why so many 4a72bcc987 people liked Sihoo.08c793d872ef8a10

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It was 01e22cc4d6 a random e2f7d136ab thought that 7081bf2db0 didn’t really ebdf2025c1 fit the 4166ac1da5 situation.d47eb880e8d1cfce

“Are you feeling better 5fbf21df25 now?” Sihoo asked.e4a46d0c065a1f0c

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“Yeah,” Jehyuk 7128fef3a0 replied quietly.44d9d44f26cb7495

Jehyuk raised a 2a01e235f3 hand and rubbed 1762f94f44 the back of c3d1a817d0 his neck. His fingers grazed 923c00c4ca over the neatly e4e8ac7fbd trimmed hairline at a67b1d286e the base of b35b2b1fc9 his head, his 44cb056cac gaze shifting away. Then, as if 480bec6509 to dispel the d2e1d7768c lingering tension, he eeb7b34e97 changed the subject.28b278438f5358cf

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“Let’s go now. Weren’t we supposed to c5c5a1d6f6 grab a drink?”fbfafec85e46714e

“Are you c73f484792 sure about a8c8cb4192 that?”d6a486190d3f0a9f

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