TL | Chapter 41 | Don’t Hesitate Any Longer

“Enough.”

Without knowing what else to say, Seowon stepped forward and took the towel he was holding. As Seowon wiped his still-dripping hair with the towel, Iden looked up at Seowon.

“What’s this, some kind of service?”

“I just don’t like water dripping on the bed. I’ll be sleeping here now, too.”

At that, Iden gave a faint smile and wrapped both arms around Seowon’s waist.

“It’s hard to dry myself.”

I tried to push him away since it was an awkward position for drying his hair, but he didn’t budge.

“It’s fine. It’ll dry on its own.”

When he said I didn’t need to dry it, I almost retorted, “What if you catch a cold?” but held back. He wouldn’t catch a cold that easily. Right now, Iden seemed like he’d be fine even if dunked in ice water.

As I gave up and put the towel aside, I stood there blankly, and Iden’s fingers lightly brushed along my waist. Feeling his fingers slip under my shirt and touch my bare skin, I flinched and gave him a light punch on the head.

“Let go.”

“So harsh.”

Iden looked up, rubbing the spot where I’d hit him. It didn’t hurt, but his exaggerated reaction was amusing.

“I hate half-hearted teasing even more.”

At that, Iden’s eyes narrowed playfully.

“So it’s just the teasing you hate?”

Ignoring his cheeky question, I shook my head, went to the bed, took a spot, and lay down.

“Are you saying I should take full responsibility?”

As if he had been waiting, Iden leaned over me with a smirk on his face. I looked at him for a moment before pushing his chest with my forearm.

“You’re not suggesting I do anything too strenuous until the crack in my bone heals, right?”

At my calm question, Iden’s smile deepened. He grabbed my arm that was pressing against his chest, pinned it to the bed, then leaned down to press a light kiss on my forehead.

“That’s the part I’m bummed about.”

Seeming to promise he wouldn’t do anything else, he lay down beside me. Though we weren’t touching, the presence of someone lying so close stirred something inside me.

I thought I’d never… share a bed like this with anyone again. Even without any sex, just lying under the same blanket and falling asleep together was something I thought I’d never experience again.

“Guess we can get rid of the bed in the study now,” Iden said, lying on his side and looking at me.

“Just leave it. You never know when you’ll change your mind.”

“Then that’s all the more reason to get rid of it—to make sure you have nowhere to go back to, even if you change your mind.”

“Are you getting rid of the sofa, too?”

Hinting at how I’d been sleeping on the sofa until recently, Iden’s eyes sparkled with a playful smile.

“Actually, I was thinking of getting rid of that, too.”

“There’s still a sofa in the living room.”

“I’ll get rid of that, too, then.”

Realizing his determination to leave me with no escape, I turned to see his face, smiling at me sweetly.

I used to really like that face. Every time he smiled like that, no matter how long we’d been together, my heart would skip a beat. Sometimes, it made me so nervous that I’d tell him not to smile so prettily and push his face away. Though his personality had changed a lot, his smiling face was the same.

Without thinking, I reached out to touch his face, but stopped just before my hand made contact. Seeing this, Iden took my hand and guided it to his cheek.

“If you’ve come this far, don’t hesitate any longer.”

His soft voice tightened something around my heart.

“It’s not that…”

How could I explain this feeling? I didn’t want to keep my distance from him. It was just that, unlike with Iden hyung, there was a sense of unfamiliarity mixed in that made me a little cautious. It was like the feeling of starting a new relationship. But I couldn’t find a way to fully express what I felt.

“I just wonder if it’s okay.”

In the end, I gave a vague answer. Iden seemed to contemplate my words in silence, staring at me intently.

“You and I haven’t even known each other for a month yet.”

It was because he was “Iden” and I was “Ha Seowon” that we thought we knew a lot about each other. But, in truth, in terms of actual time spent together, we were no different than strangers.

“So you’re being cautious?”

“A little…”

It was funny to be saying I was cautious now. From the start, we’d said and done everything we wanted. But that was because he seemed exactly like “Iden,” not because I’d directed my feelings at this Iden.

Now, I’d decided to really look at this person. With that resolve, I suddenly felt nervous all over again.

I thought he’d laugh at my random, silly words, but Iden simply looked at me and gave a gentle smile, then reached out to stroke my hair.

“That’s a good sign.”

I blinked, surprised by how easily he accepted my hesitation.

“It means you’re looking at me.”

“….”

“It’s okay.”

His hand, which had been stroking my hair, moved lower and cupped my cheek.

“You can think of it as starting from the beginning.”

His gaze was sincere. Meeting his eyes, I let out a slight laugh and pushed his hand away.

“Who starts a relationship with sex?”

He and I were too deeply entangled for it to be something we could call “starting fresh.”

“So naïve. Do you know how many people start with sex because of pheromones?”

“I don’t want that kind of relationship.”

If my relationship with Iden had started with sex just because of pheromones, I might not have gone through with marking him. I would’ve wondered if my feelings were just because of pheromones and would’ve constantly questioned whether my emotions were real.

It was because Iden didn’t act on his rut and pheromones that I could trust him and open my heart. And I was sure the same went for this Iden, too. If this Ha Seowon was no different from me, he probably felt a sense of relief meeting someone who helped him in his most vulnerable moment, even if that person was in the mafia.

So that’s how it was.

I finally understood the heart of the “Ha Seowon” who had passed. Unlike with the “Iden hyung” who was ordinary, he knew Iden was a mafia member from the start and yet accepted him. He might have had an even harder time starting than I did.

But, apparently, that wasn’t the case. When I reunited with Iden at twenty, it didn’t really matter what kind of person he was. I believed in the kindness of the man in my memories, the Alpha who didn’t take advantage of my heat cycle, and confidently approached him.

And it must have been the same for “Ha Seowon.”

“You know, even if it started with sex, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Iden added. I stared at him for a moment, then let out a small, defeated laugh. I knew what he was getting at. Ironically, we had started our first encounter with pheromones and sex, after all. Because he wanted to make sure I was truly “Ha Seowon,” he’d provoked me with pheromones.

Thanks to that, I realized he wasn’t just someone who looked like Iden, but truly was him. It wasn’t a bad start for us, given the circumstances.

“Yeah.”

Seeing me agree without refuting, Iden’s face softened. It seemed he’d been bothered by my initial rejection of a relationship that started with sex.

To say it was only physical between us didn’t really capture the complexity of our relationship. Without further explanation, I simply closed my eyes. After walking around for the first time in a while, I was starting to feel sleepy. Though I could feel Iden’s gaze as if he were burning a hole through my face, I pretended not to notice. He wouldn’t try anything. He’d been overly cautious about my physical state these past few days, so I trusted him.

“Are you asleep?”

I felt a presence near my face, and something soft brushed against my cheek.

“Are you really asleep?”

It felt like his finger. The gentle touch caressing my cheek made my heart tingle.

“Leaving me like this?”

It sounded like he was scolding me, but there was a hint of laughter in his voice. After a moment, Iden lifted my face, slipping his arm under my neck. Though I wasn’t deeply asleep, I was too lazy to respond, so I just let him do as he pleased.

He cradled my shoulder with his other arm, holding me close. I ended up lying against him, but since I was pretending to be asleep, it was too late to push him away.

Not that I wanted to, either. I could feel how careful he was, making sure not to strain my back. That small gesture of consideration, along with the warm, sweet, and gentle scent of his pheromones, eased my tension.

Maybe this isn’t so bad.

For the first time, I felt no resistance to his pheromone scent, which was subtly different from the memory I held. I let go of all the complicated thoughts about whether he wasn’t “Iden hyung” or if we were just stand-ins for each other. Just like that, held in Iden’s arms, I drifted off to sleep.

Since coming to this other world, this was the first time I’d fallen asleep without any worries. It was only in Iden’s embrace that I finally felt at peace.