SMFC | Chapter 33

Despite furrowing his brow in confusion, Lee Soo didn’t question Jeong Dahyun why he had stopped speaking mid-sentence.

He’ll say it when he feels like it, Lee Soo thought nonchalantly as he hummed a tune to himself. Habitually, he glanced at his smartwatch, confirming everything was normal except for a few rooms where the spirits were busily moving around.

If there were any items left behind, the cleaner would contact him about any lost items. Just a bit more attention and this wouldn’t happen.

He opened closets and drawers, checking for anything left behind. While he was doing that, the spirits called him from the living room.

[Jin: Lee Soo, we’re done cleaning.]

[Joo: Right, right. We’ve checked thoroughly to make sure nothing was left behind.]

[Joo: Let’s go now! Come on, let’s go!]

The audio grew noisy as soon as the cleaning stopped. Lee Soo squinted his eyes and smiled at the clamor.

“Got it. Have you checked here for any items left behind?”

With a nod towards the room, the spirits shouted their confirmation. Occasionally, though often seeming a bit slapdash, the spirits showed tremendous concentration on tasks given, so Lee Soo confidently turned his back on the room.

Stepping out, all his belongings were neatly lined up at the entrance. All that was left was to leave. With an indifferent gaze, Lee Soo grabbed two suitcases and stepped out.

Following Lee Soo, the spirits soon transformed into orbs and shrank, delicately perching on top of the suitcases. The tiny glowing orbs huddled together, shimmering. Watching this, Lee Soo chuckled and waited for Dahyun to appear.

Carrying a significantly larger trunk and a bag, Dahyun looked utterly unaffected by the weight. Tanks really are different, Lee Soo thought as the only sound in the quiet hallway was the rolling of wheels.

Lips firmly sealed, Dahyun followed Lee Soo, then suddenly stopped walking. Noticing Dahyun had halted, Lee Soo also stopped and turned to look at him.

It was just a turn away from Healer Haeon’s room. Dahyun, having stopped abruptly, looked as if he had something he wanted to say. Noting the serious atmosphere, Lee Soo glanced at Haeon’s room before fully turning to face Dahyun.

“If you have something to say, feel free.”

Although the surrounding noises ceased, Lee Soo guessed the spirits were blocking the sound and smiled. Despite Lee Soo’s permission, Dahyun hesitated before finally speaking.

“…Do you have a reason for living with Healer Haeon?”

The question was unexpectedly irrelevant to the serious vibe. Imagining all sorts of reasons in his head, Lee Soo almost let out a sigh.

“Did that just suddenly interest you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it can happen, I guess. But what to do about it. I didn’t really think much about it. Healer Haeon suggested it, and I had no particular reason to refuse. If I had to add something… It makes my treatment easier, and if Healer Haeon has any issues, I can assist immediately.”

As someone who only knows about it as if it were due to the spirits making his body feel unwell, Lee Soo crafted his response appropriately. Dahyun frowned at Lee Soo’s slow speech before finally asking another question.

“So, there’s no personal feelings involved in this cohabitation, or a desire to be healed quickly?”

“Yes. It’s true that I like Healer Haeon and care about him… but it’s not to the extent that it would lead to us living together. And I never hoped for a complete cure from the start. I was hoping for alleviation.”

With Lee Soo putting a definitive end to the conversation, Dahyun widened his eyes and then touched his forehead in dismay. Seeing his reaction, Lee Soo turned his head, surprised, as a warm and comforting heartbeat became faintly audible.

“Healer Haeon!”

Leaning against the wall and waving his hand towards Haeon, Lee Soo watched quietly as Haeon shook his head slightly. Beside him, Mu lightly landed on his shoulder to offer some comfort.

Normally, Haeon would have waved back, albeit awkwardly, but this time he simply bowed his head without any reaction, causing Lee Soo to wonder if something was wrong. Just as he was about to approach Haeon, Dahyun grabbed his wrist, as if to stop him.

Lee Soo looked at Dahyun with widened eyes, questioning why he was being held back. Dahyun stared at his gentle face for a while, unable to think of the right words, and after a long pause, he managed to utter a difficult sentence.

“I may have orchestrated this situation, but the saying that ignorance is also a sin… I truly felt its accuracy for the first time.”

Lee Soo shrugged his shoulders at Dahyun’s words mixed with a hollow laugh. There was no specific remark, but the accusatory gaze was clear, and Lee Soo pursed his lips.

“I…”

Just as he was about to speak, Haeon stood in front of him. He looked up into the quiet shadow, but Haeon’s unusually pale face was backlit, obscuring his expression.

“First, go to the room. I need to be somewhere…”

With a voice deeper than usual, Haeon whispered and took Lee Soo’s hand, which was clenched into a fist. One by one, Haeon peeled Lee Soo’s fingers open and placed a room key in his palm, then lightly smiled and reformed Lee Soo’s fist around it.

“Rest.”

After these brief words, Haeon turned and walked away, leaving Lee Soo muttering to himself with a look of disappointment. Did I do something wrong? Dahyun, pressing his forehead, nodded at Lee Soo’s gloomy murmur.

***

During his time apart from Lee Soo, Haeon had a lot to think about. He read books related to psychology and emotions, trying to understand what his feelings really were, reflecting alone, and, more than anything, thinking about Lee Soo. The inevitable Lee Soo whom he had left.

People often talk about breakups, especially painful ones. The prerequisite for a painful breakup is love. Without love, there is no separation, and without separation, there is no pain.

For Haeon, who knew this truth, painful breakups were rare. Other than the time a beloved pet from his childhood crossed the rainbow bridge, there had been no significant painful separations.

Not all deaths he had witnessed became painful goodbyes. Haeon was not so indiscriminately loving to extend his love to all those who died.

However, the thought of parting with Lee Soo pained him, perhaps because the premise of love was already there. With this thought, Haeon carelessly dropped the cigarette he was holding between his fingers.

The feelings stirring towards Lee Soo couldn’t simply be defined by the emotion of love. When he saw that person, he felt like crying as if he were bearing all the sorrows of the world alone. The feeling that his heart was being tightly squeezed couldn’t solely be described as love. Yet, it couldn’t be called anything but love since everything in him was favorably inclined towards Lee Soo.

…Is it really love?

While crushing the cigarette butt under his shoe, Haeon pressed his tired eyes. Maybe it was because he hadn’t slept well these past few days. Whenever he loosened his grip on consciousness, even for a moment, his focus blurred, and he saw double before it merged back into one.

Haeon blinked his eyes tightly shut and then opened them, his vision gradually sharpening. He had also been unable to sleep well, and even when he did sleep, it was only light, which didn’t help his physical condition.

Still, Haeon was satisfied that he wasn’t bad enough to collapse on the street and need medical attention or a healer. After all, there was nothing more embarrassing than a healer who couldn’t manage his own health and collapsed.

Rubbing the back of his stiff neck a couple of times and blinking for no apparent reason, suddenly, a vivid yellow eye came to mind. Puzzled as to why it appeared, he widened his eyes, and then Lee Soo’s distinctive scent wafted over with the breeze.

At that unique sweet yet warm fragrance, Haeon wondered if he was going mad as he blinked. Suddenly, a black shoe appeared in his fixed gaze.

Lifting his eyes slightly, he saw a thin ankle tinged with blue, and if Haeon had been anyone else, he might have jerked his head up vigorously enough to cause a strain.

As soon as he lifted his head, his eyes met Lee Soo’s, which looked down slightly at him. The laughter in those bright yellow eyes tickled his chest.

Staring blankly into Lee Soo’s eyes, Haeon soon noticed Lee Soo dressed as if he was going to an important event, and he unwittingly took a step back.

As soon as he saw him, Lee Soo appeared dazed as if seeing someone he shouldn’t, then regained his senses and watched the retreating Haeon with a nuanced gaze, casually flicking his coat and laughing.

“Um, good afternoon.”

The greeting felt oddly familiar, tepid as it was. It seemed like something he had heard just hours ago, or maybe yesterday, or perhaps even years ago.

Haeon watched Lee Soo quietly, his eye slightly squinting. That’s why it felt like déjà vu. It wasn’t exactly the same as now, but Lee Soo had rolled up a crisp white shirt before, and his face was pale and beautiful, just like now. However, his hair seemed shorter than it was now, barely covering his neck…

…What is this memory? Haeon blinked his eyes narrowly in bafflement, forgetting that Lee Soo was watching him as he frantically searched his memory. Unperturbed by Haeon’s distracted demeanor, Lee Soo blinked slowly, then after a long while, he called out to Haeon.

“Healer Haeon?”

“…Yes? Ah, that is… I mean, I just feel like I’ve seen this scene before.”

“Me?”

Lee Soo asked in a subtle tone. There was no reproach, but Haeon, preemptively frightened, blamed himself for his foolish words a moment ago and slightly covered his reddened earlobes as he nodded.

“Yes.”

“Is that so? Well, I saw Healer Haeon yesterday too. You appeared in my dream.”