SMFC | Chapter 15

Clicking his tongue, Yoo Haeon thought about how that feeling left people in disarray as he gently closed Lee Soo’s eyes for him. Without a word of protest or curiosity, Lee Soo obediently shut his eyes.

Beneath the palm covering his eyes, Haeon couldn’t feel even the faintest tremor of eyelashes. This only made him focus more intently on the fingers checking Lee Soo’s pulse. Perhaps it was because of the idea of death—concluding his thoughts on Lee Soo always seemed to circle back to it. It felt like he’d developed a bad habit of tying everything about Lee Soo to death.

“…Don’t you ever think about wanting to live? Most people cry and make a fuss about wanting to live when they hear they don’t have much time left.”

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Haeon inspected Lee Soo’s physical reactions carefully as he spoke of those who had lived and left this world. Being a healer meant his skills functioned like medical instruments, sparing him the need to use labs where prying eyes abounded for simple tests.

Lowering his gaze, Haeon toyed with the faint thread of death, letting it go and pulling it back again, trying to discern its origin. While doing so, he listened carefully, waiting for Lee Soo to speak.

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Though the basic examination was already complete, Haeon lingered. For some reason, the steady but unusually slow rhythm of Lee Soo’s heartbeat felt kind, so he continued tracing along Lee Soo’s wrist and neck. It was as if he wanted to prolong the moment.

The idea of describing a heartbeat as “kind” was laughable, but Haeon could think of no other way to articulate his impression.

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“If you say you want to live, you always end up dying. So, I decided not to say anything at all.”

With a faint blush creeping across his cheeks, Lee Soo murmured this as though embarrassed to share such thoughts. Beneath his closed eyelids, his eyes darted back and forth. Then, with a faint smile, he added, Of course, I want to live. I want to see my precious people happy. If possible, I’d want to see it even after I die…

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His tone, imbued with tenderness, softened further as he asked quietly, “Can I open my eyes now?”

“You can.”

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At Haeon’s permission, Lee Soo opened his eyes, golden irises shimmering warmly. For a moment, the look he gave Haeon was so tender that it almost made Haeon believe Lee Soo’s “precious person” was him.

If I die…

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The lightness of his voice starkly contrasted the gravity of his words. Startled by the abruptness of the statement, Haeon blinked as Lee Soo kindly repeated himself.

“If I die…”

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“…What kind of person brings up their own death in front of a healer? Sigh… Fine. If Ryu Leesoo the hunter dies, then what?”

“Do you think the people who know me would be sad?”

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Despite the tension, the question that followed was oddly predictable. It was one that anyone who knew Lee Soo would answer the same way. Haeon, his voice tinged with faint irritation, responded without hesitation.

“Of course. Even I, who don’t know you well, can tell you’re a good person.”

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“Oh, that makes me happy. Then… Yoo Haeon, the healer—do you think you could cry for me at least once?”

At first, Haeon looked incredulous, his expression asking, Why would you even ask something like that? But seeing the seriousness in Lee Soo’s eyes, his own expression softened into a faint grimace.

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Haeon’s tears weren’t anything special—they wouldn’t turn into pearls like a mermaid’s, nor were they beautiful enough to earn forgiveness from anyone. So, what was the point of shedding them? Muttering under his breath, Haeon lowered his gaze before nodding slightly after a long silence.

Lee Soo, who seemed more thrilled by Haeon’s willingness to cry for him than by the assurance that everyone else would grieve, left Haeon staring at him blankly. On impulse, Haeon asked,

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“Do you like me?”

“If I didn’t, would I be here like this?”

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“Well, yeah, but why do you like me? We just met.”

Now it was Lee Soo’s turn to look puzzled, as if wondering why Haeon would even ask such a question. Despite his confusion, Haeon murmured that he wanted an answer. After a moment of hesitation, Lee Soo began to speak haltingly.

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“Well… It’s true that we just met, but I’ve known about you for a while. And… Hmm, I guess it’s because you’re human? That’s probably the reason.”

Lee Soo’s expression was uncertain, as though questioning if his answer was correct. Strangely, Haeon mirrored his uncertainty, wearing a similarly odd expression as he urged Lee Soo to continue.

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“I’ve heard more than my fair share of insults about how ‘inhuman’ I am, so this is new. Kind of novel, I guess,” Haeon mumbled, a bit taken aback. Lee Soo tilted his head and replied earnestly, “But Yoo Haeon the healer is the most human person I know.”

Lee Soo’s voice was so sincere that Haeon couldn’t even muster the will to refute him. Instead, he blinked slowly and met Lee Soo’s clear gaze.

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Some had said Haeon’s eyes were beast-like and grotesque, but looking into Lee Soo’s, he was reminded of radiant sunlight. In someone no different from himself, Haeon saw absolute salvation.

Bright and innocent, that light shone with a love so pure it was almost cruel, forcing Haeon to confront things he didn’t want to see. He wondered in fear, What are you trying to make me face with that affection of yours?

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Unaware of Haeon’s turmoil, Lee Soo bit his lip nervously before speaking again, his voice unsteady as he explained why he liked Haeon.

It was harder than he thought. Upon reflection, Lee Soo realized he cared for Haeon deeply but had never stopped to analyze why. Despite frequent pauses, he earnestly listed the reasons he found Haeon human, diving into the healer’s charms.

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At some point, he grew fully immersed in describing Haeon’s virtues, only to stop abruptly, tilting his head in confusion.

“This might just be my imagination, but… Does it sound like I like you because you’re flawed and not perfect?”

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Haeon, who had been more focused on listening to Lee Soo’s voice than his actual words, backtracked through the conversation. His expression twisted oddly, but he nodded in agreement.

When Haeon’s lukewarm reaction affirmed his suspicion, Lee Soo immediately shouted, “That’s a misunderstanding!” But even as he protested, he knew it was true. This prompted him to dive into a serious self-reflection about his preferences.

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Watching Lee Soo take the matter so seriously, Haeon sighed softly. Whether or not those reasons were the whole truth, they ultimately boiled down to one thing: Lee Soo liked him. And that was all that mattered.

“Just think of it like this: People love others because they’re imperfect. It’s simple.”

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“Well, that’s true. But… my image of Yoo Haeon isn’t someone clumsy or imperfect. And it’s not like I’m the kind of person who’d love someone simply because they’re flawed.”

Listening to Lee Soo’s words, Haeon stiffened slightly at the casual mention of love. Realizing there was no deeper meaning behind it, he released the tension in his shoulders.

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Love.

The word alone sent his thoughts scattering, but Haeon quickly gathered himself and came to a conclusion.

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“So, it’s just because Ryu Leesoo the hunter is a good person, huh.”

Lee Soo smiled faintly, as though the idea made him uncomfortable, and shook his head.

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“Do you really need to label someone as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to love them?”

Many had said loving Haeon was harder than hating him, that disliking him was instinctual. The idea of enduring all that to love him naturally meant the person must be good.

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Though not cruel enough to deny Lee Soo’s claim outright, Haeon closed his eyes in silent rejection of the idea.

Perhaps I didn’t need to avoid it so much…

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The thought floated to the surface before quietly sinking again, leaving Haeon still uncertain.

Though it seemed like Haeon and Lee Soo had finally bonded, their game of hide-and-seek continued unabated. By the time even the guild members had grown accustomed to it, one day, Lee Soo followed Haeon’s trail to find him leaning against a wall, cigarette in hand.

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“What’s a healer doing smoking?” Lee Soo grumbled. Haeon chuckled and gestured for him to come closer.

Though confused, Lee Soo obediently approached, only to have Haeon abruptly cover his mouth. His eyes widened in surprise as Haeon leaned down and whispered in his ear.

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“Stay quiet for a moment. Listen to the voices over there.”

Though the sudden action left him blinking in confusion, Lee Soo directed his attention to the conversation happening beyond the wall. Listening in wasn’t exactly the most upright thing to do, but if Haeon said so… well, why not?

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As Lee Soo focused, he heard a clear, crisp voice, unbothered by the thought of being overheard.