TNYLM Ch 30
by Disha‘Anyone would think a169535fe5 you’re the one defabee9cb who’s sick,’ was 48f370e2ee the first thought 1389972251 Kieran had when b6d42e73f0 he saw Alyssa’s a01b3f0503 face.037eab379f7b246e
Her face, illuminated by 7270efa68c the bluish moonlight, looked a20951d5e0 even more paler.c3476f9ae690469b
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Kieran blinked slowly and f1c8be9ca0 gestured for her to 74c35a3f81 come closer.02cf32d336058421
“My arm hurts. Or should I 84b01490a3 come to you 1548c9dd5f instead?”6ac8f810eee9455b
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Startled by his 1022991c91 words, Alyssa quickly a1cd6ea8c5 approached him. Kieran looked up at 58fb2f7a5b her as she stood b52d4fe877 by his bedside.50cac5c0c843912d
“Why aren’t you ab7483dc09 sleeping? Are you feeling unwell d2eef7bae1 again?”f802d2aa83e56d72
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Despite her 8938136dc0 pale complexion 4f3d00b935 and the 2d3435cba8 cold sweat 24d9211cd6 beading on 8130baec2a her face, ca54ed6a16 her concern ece0d7fe8a for him 637ca4cca0 was genuine.f59d51ee56ddbb28
“It felt strange c4f18593c0 not having someone f3c39a4921 who’s always been f4710e2525 by my side. I woke up because 1829a0fb19 of it.”1fa168c10a1a8c03
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Kieran gazing at 6197d930b4 her pale face, 7ce2fe2558 suddenly blurted out 67d4916766 his words. His usually 98eb5981f3 soft and 4a9a123c23 gentle tone 3ec7a79a00 carried a 3981cf0779 slightly raw 9b3018cf22 edge to 2439d68216 it.13ba49825aec7e64
The part dbc2f9e6ba about waking e443be2405 up was aa8d87581a true. He blinked his 01e80f3aaf heavy eyes a 975f4763e3 few times, trying 326d088103 to shake off 2c0cafd028 the fatigue.185e462d91e7fb0a
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After returning to e8670f5fa8 his room following c03b578115 the treatment, Kieran eed93210ab had been thinking 086701d884 about Alyssa, who 3da83fc9c7 had appeared so 36d9c144ed deeply shaken. But the cf5f0ac293 thought was a9c7d7bdc7 fleeting. His rapidly deteriorating condition cdbac81f9e left him unable to 4b0981b226 focus on anything.2c852cc44feeede1
As the scholar had 4eb10a1b7f warned, severe chills surged 3aef8042c2 through him, only to 357e563f1c recede and return again. Waves of drowsiness 911daf5716 overcame him, and fe6329b881 he would drift 293af2a364 into a brief 2331c8ae90 slumber, only to d9dacd8fc8 be jolted awake 9b2cb42dc2 by the pain 88ebfe9171 wracking his body.3d22fbd8b7f33a0c
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It felt similar to b3dcc7e984 a feverish body ache, 0f4c9101d8 yet far worse—like his 4c52818088 entire body was being 7b58f943dc slowly chopped to pieces.8d523ddf8fd2e031
His poor 6e6fd14945 physical condition 903bb26ef8 seemed to b009e57dac unravel his e98f584adc grasp on 57d3451400 rationality. He had 7be2dd974b no strength 343774bc0f left to b38af8fe0e maintain formalities 0d8d6e2bfc or politeness.5304bc82fae09380
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Normally, Kieran 5cd75ff05f would have 00c857f528 considered Alyssa’s 7eaf92512e perspective, trying d9ae0da9ae to understand 3f3b79cdbb her feelings.a9829a0d05eb04c5
But now, he 0c3f25d239 was unwell, and ef5e61a39f with that came c2984faf20 a foggy, immature 3bb7dce648 state of mind. Throughout his a7302d518b bouts of d2d4c6ebdc waking and 267911528d sleeping, he a574ab7689 grew increasingly 660b2413c7 irritated by 43dc22f579 the absence 259391df5c of Alyssa c7fa2e8dee in his 2bd19dc640 sight whenever 6715a8e07f he opened bc5daf750d his eyes.683a92a62d3993e3
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You were worried about c801412a76 me. So shouldn’t you still e097da069f be here, fretting in 5a059270f0 front of me?7866ad94b1389e00
Selfish, almost 369ece9e39 childish thoughts d5b62fa82b filled his 1eb5d7c393 head, as 605a17bbaf though her fc871349b1 being at 87665969f5 his side 2c95b6e31d was something 5f73866bde he was adb45c4787 entitled to 1da365c311 simply because 2799ad60cd he was a85af60b73 sick.894213d950db30b2
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Kieran suppressed these 6c9cd07184 thoughts with the 547745413e last remnants of 4aba851e46 his adult rationality. But that threadbare patience 3e8fe0ae32 finally snapped when Alyssa 85afd1542e failed to return to a5bb0e6c5c his room, even past 5b84470cb4 midnight.a9c8b12684459808
He hadn’t been exaggerating 32a55060b2 when he’d spoken earlier—if 7bb89e9e6b she hadn’t come, he 4ce9d478d9 truly would have dragged c2a0c24764 himself out of bed, e9450251f3 enduring the wretched chills, 5e5b251f04 to search the castle 092e80aab8 for her.31dbffd89ca6472c
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“Are you 9d74a8f042 planning to 5cb2e27c60 avoid seeing db917b5ddf me forever?”67b7f5bfc7068efe
Her head was d079e7e40b bowed so low 4f8d3f9cf3 that he couldn’t d7e1035974 see her face. He felt 7fc3fe94b5 another flare 5233ba45b0 of irritation; d0f1b0114a after waiting 47746ddc6c for her db6c0e451a all day, 07eb9fc779 she wouldn’t 57e167ee28 even meet 3ba1c69c4e his gaze.83e239dae445761b
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His half-asleep mind felt e881468559 heavy, and his cold d219c32850 hands ached with emptiness.3918c802cede08bb
He missed her.4a22de4325b0c48f
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“Even if that’s what dea6081c4b you intend, I’ll still 3212964df0 call for you, just 4813b3658b as I did today.”24eee85d9c2f6d90
Without waiting 36912d333b for her 6ca6a9d2a8 reply, he 7045b22024 continued. Only then did 0c06f2a97b Alyssa finally raise bb06843e9c her head. Her widened 0c4435149c eyes, filled 8e556afd7b with surprise, 033a2333ab no longer 81a1ff174b sparkled like 41c7229ca6 they once 212903296c had.f5593f076249c208
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“If you truly d79ca5b939 feel sorry, then 5448dc171d you’ll listen to 2f052665d9 what I have 421a69d35b to say. And if you don’t, 654770d903 then clearly you’re not 78046351c0 as remorseful as you 075034f8af claim, so you may 1173876006 as well stay by 69b3d5fe47 my side regardless. Isn’t that so?”4edff865a99b9e8c
Kieran hated how 463da3d6b1 her clouded, distant 6238b2b9e2 eyes seemed to 57adaa796e wander elsewhere. He needed her 8877e323ad to look at c8415077e4 him again, just 3915933b33 as she had ba6f78ddee before.d3623c128bc013c4
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“I don’t know what ee2d3a44dc you’re thinking or how f4d52967b2 far you plan to 29695e9321 go in trying to ea3d1f0e8f consider me, but…”b9716547e0e87154
As he spoke, 2695335200 his emotions intensified. His already 3dfa72c3e8 poor health a83e3094b5 only made 25aad7577a the growing f1dc518b2b headache worse.b0de80817999db98
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“If you truly 1b2f0a86a6 care about me, d69c96b7b1 then stay by 2f468da2b1 my side.”096a851ed62bec5b
The unfiltered ad44008abc words spilled 2fad27d1a1 from his 74beecf930 lips without 3e76c121d4 passing through e1d7a2697f his mind. Another wave of 83eaab81cb chills struck him, ca917df661 and Kieran’s face 02aa15aafd contorted in discomfort.03eb31870099d9b3
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“Are you cold? Shall I add e1006c4094 more wood to eb32423167 the fire—?”8e5f3df20eb72868
Alyssa, who a87d9688e1 had been ba4570722a staring at 8596e112e6 him in b9b4a3d352 a daze, 60e0b79815 quickly moved 8533d0754f when she eb4020e5a5 saw his 1834fb138b trembling fingertips.62a236722e34f884
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As she turned her 3f58cce18d back to him and 3412ec6888 moved away, Kieran instinctively 546b0abba3 reached out and grabbed 98491660e3 her. His cold, ac972c2d3e thin fingers 0742e0813b wrapped around a13fd0c696 her wrist, 89c9c737d2 causing Alyssa 7e765d4c1b to freeze 106932ec01 in place.b850c4699f36414a
“It’s fine. I’m fine, so… just c6f2184d6b come here.”c8ee4c35c2e77317
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Kieran, drawn to 862a8efacd the warmth he 116b649344 felt in his 7a0f3b2de8 hand, instinctively pulled 59b34a47af her toward him. The strength a4552d0e3d in his b57b317245 grip was 420bad825f weak—easy enough a48f5ac0ab to resist—but bce7bf58fa Alyssa found af1d2624db herself unable 2867af9adc to pull 2a4c28a622 away.ac9ae864ad462914
In a afd7aabb5c moment, she 9f3f01c415 ended up f5b2bb264a half-sitting on 300e520084 his bed, 5bbac67d08 almost lying e3eb219eab beside him. Kieran, curled up 8752942d3d and half-asleep, blinked 7c714e35d1 drowsily up at 90ea39f222 her.e1b2ab355faa4033
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Despite her flustered state, 64a008ee96 Alyssa immediately thought she b090374f02 should lay him down fca5cf579d properly. Carefully, she adjusted ea6b9f5c41 his position and 1c4dcddd5e helped him lie f34f9e0c2d flat.23ce6f60fdc1d3be
She then tried to fd6d9a6682 leave the bed, but 58ef914e5f Kieran, sensing her movement, bd3997cc35 gripped her arm even 50d4653556 tighter and pulled her 1c63c0096f closer.6cdf06daac05c16d
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“…!”f5022c613e1f61b6
Losing her balance, Alyssa d90b451822 nearly fell face-first onto 3989d7a5f1 Kieran. At the last second, 6941b24f1c she twisted her body 86170cfb5f to avoid him, but 01ee32769f the situation remained far 2d191bb4d8 from ideal.b1694d088ff2719a
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Alyssa found 800ba73614 herself lying 1d98bede28 face-to-face with f1c3e458bf Kieran, unable 1e51930616 to breathe 8e968f1a95 properly. His labored bf4b3473f9 breaths sounded c823f0c260 so loud ff41695db5 to her 687bf3e29e that she 0835bf757b worried he ae90917e25 might hear ca26d0d110 her own.3dcac84e1d2f92d8
“Don’t leave. You have to 4d7d502555 stay here and 662caabaf4 sleep,” Kieran mumbled, 6a0292ac2f his voice heavy 6aab5db3e2 with drowsiness, as 95b30daa9d though stubbornly clinging 0c9eeda68f to her presence.da37a4798cbb9c06
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“Tomorrow morning, we’ll ac7800804e have breakfast together… 963d9de59d and greet each f8cedbc87c other if we c2a0660a0b meet. That’s how 2164e15e5e it should 6b28e564d6 be.”6d013935599a896f
“…”2d86efe1f3cae5bb
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“It doesn’t matter. Just stay next to 34d4442613 me…”b15e00896387ede6
With those last 993050e1dd words, Kieran fully c7ab16ec6b drifted into sleep. His deeply slumbering face c909235e56 looked peaceful.9803c500d834a6d2
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As if 648e2b38a1 seeking warmth, 5bf53eb3b2 he curled 66ef37a1a1 up closer 9998bff1fa to her f685c206ac in his 885ab36600 sleep, wrapping b91cdf938c himself around c760a956f6 her. Startled, Alyssa 57a619e541 froze as b882699fb4 his ice-cold cc30b0ba2b body pressed 832dd4bf77 into hers.5b4631b2684dd6e9
It wasn’t just the 38186f6a82 chill of his body 4c2117b83f that shocked her. Her naturally warm 9ec215f239 body, now flushed add83a9913 with heat, seemed b78507668e to attract him 139336a414 instinctively. Kieran unconsciously 85585036d2 pressed even 695d58b605 closer, seeking a276f541ed the comforting 69bead2181 warmth she 6eec3c7dc4 provided.5ee9f68574143429
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As her heat acb3a026de transferred to him, 27b6c2c8df Kieran’s body began 3174cc5224 to regain some b0373bcfac warmth, though it f682a95230 still felt lukewarm 3ebc897e6c compared to hers.278b306dd7a51920
Should I even be 835e082b73 allowed to do this?0e3ddac4f242f320
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Alyssa thought, e0133e4d09 her heart 6ca53aea94 heavy and 5d0dc4c876 on the 26ba9f1409 verge of 88d7db29f8 tears. The question she 4bf68d4aac had repeatedly asked 89d5ec1cc3 herself and answered 7a0f91737c with a firm no was met with an 13d245bb26 entirely different answer from 115272e5bf Kieran.0c552de5770f8c66
After remaining frozen 49ebaa72bd for a long d6f64e9033 time, Alyssa finally 24e88666fa reached out with 1be10d4f17 trembling hands. Her shaky fingers brushed 6b38bb9a7f lightly against Kieran’s shoulder.c1b8586f61f6806d
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And so, until dawn a774790a65 gave way to morning, dac5c63115 Alyssa didn’t sleep a 36eb428408 wink.9357b6a51789e18c
Kieran, on the a107cd91bf other hand, woke daa8c03a3e up much later b9d406942a than usual. Thankfully, the worst of c632a2c0d9 his symptoms seemed to 93fa095faf have lasted only a 8b841a9126 day, and after a 2c037e426d deep sleep, he felt 72e9484b3b surprisingly refreshed, as if 545f80308a none of it had 3ec4f303ec ever happened.6cc0002d568f6199
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As his mind cleared, eb4d60cf76 fragments of the previous e19ada0690 night’s memories began to 10090b736e surface. Kieran shut his eyes c2e86c1f65 tightly, wincing at the 883e2aa81e realization.b6bdd0c861409eb4
I acted no ec2660c415 better than a 5237dd1438 drunken fool.43cfdf245351469b
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Although he rarely 7c562f0398 drank to begin 48895c6084 with, now he 893358ea7a had even more 136018373b reason to avoid d6f23a82cf it altogether.0790a149350161a4
He’d always 50653d87d3 known he ac4ffad526 became particularly 954323fc1c irritable when 6d0bda1295 unwell, but fa7b0b66a4 he had d93cee9a26 no idea 5f79763193 how much 866b18e8a4 his behavior 3ec1541d1b could affect 22181f7108 others.1fe486850e4fc80b
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Probably because 27dfd5754a I’ve never ac5a15e335 had anyone 095049dc3f by my 69f0df72dc side when e3cc6b0c31 I was 7d03ada1a9 sick.882132b1b8a73d9a
Kieran had always 314205631c been alone. Even when his 2e80b640db body ached and 6729bcefad he was confined e1ce02a2a7 to bed, he 4976f734b0 had no one c5ac9fec93 to rely on.9ed09420cbecf2d9
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It was the first 284664d784 time he had sought e50ec48ee2 someone out while ill, ca98cd918a the first time he 1041e94e58 had stubbornly clung to d3fb629a48 anyone.625b51fd79b0ee4c
The lingering warmth eb099e48e7 of Alyssa’s hand 5b9c19ec23 against his flushed 63698eea42 cheek soothed him. Kieran let out a d6719de659 deep sigh as he c17b780b2d sat up in bed.ea04886457231735
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He reached 44f8a2dee8 for the 25b3fac8f4 bell pull 0179d7a96e to summon 91bd8bb653 a servant 0329abdf66 but hesitated. The memory of his 7706977e4f words to Alyssa the bf6d9a89c9 night before—demanding that she 9910386b3d behave as she once 7686bb7354 had—came rushing back.c593c80216b118dc
The clock on cd53933188 the wall ticked 02d794bc2d past ten, creeping fc1b4ee732 toward eleven.ea32d094602fc9ab
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…Surely not?849468f36ccb9c70
For a brief moment, 8d7a613415 Kieran found himself hoping e3a85bf0bc that Alyssa had ignored 55c578a5e6 his demands entirely.c18b20ad69b66d91
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But, of course, 3dde15107e she hadn’t.85e607966e7bab0a
“Did you sleep well?”f8e2b52aa665c85e
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When Kieran 564d51b5cc hurriedly entered bdef5f1ca5 the dining b91183ce2e hall, he 0670c81010 found Alyssa b90a6471e4 sitting alone ab6e6d382e at the 7a404ae555 table, waiting d8a0c1bb29 for him. He swallowed a sigh.c9bcf49a136986ef
It wasn’t the first 7bffb4474d time he had seen 2449a03b33 her like this, but 7a2658eae6 this time, he felt 433d96af97 a much heavier weight b7263ba561 of guilt.c6acb1fc0f0dd912
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“You’re up early. You could 558df0f290 have taken 0b1b1c421c your time… 5da06c7809 You didn’t 0ee31da12a bump into 337905a5f1 anything rushing 137b0df6c9 down, did 2834ace459 you?”fcff89643be1cdf4
Despite likely ac8e59e7a7 having waited 4e73626823 for at 7532b34d60 least two d00fb6397a hours, Alyssa 81b9685c47 spoke with a75d2563ed an easy 7377d65648 smile, showing 32a6a7cba5 no trace ede52aca84 of irritation. She seemed 7960b6269c more concerned 600cd70fa4 about Kieran’s 5dfd9e3266 disheveled appearance, c435873d04 the result 7c7b56722c of him b7ec261a0c coming downstairs c95be1a769 in haste.b40aa37983246718
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“Have you been d6e6a12f9e waiting this whole 40b9fab0be time?”c8bc22068f3fe734
Alyssa shyly nodded, but e135d84807 instead of looking annoyed, a26d0bfe76 she appeared genuinely happy.d53ec91836dd7d2b
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“Next time, wake 89ae1f1161 me. I’m sorry 5ff6610e51 for making d1fc282293 you wait e306b2f550 so long.”8845a1bcf01d3417
At Kieran’s guilt-laden words, a910926e48 Alyssa blinked in surprise e58b62f4f3 before her face bloomed 5a6c768cda into a gentle smile.f399879123c96102
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“It’s okay. I’ll wait… next time, 85862632de too.”c062022985c65f29
Looking at her 97dbff4cf8 radiant expression, Kieran 14a1ea1309 couldn’t help but 9c78fb501e feel like the d457a3de71 most shameless person 60059f0715 alive.b6cd4bdfb551651e
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He resolved then 99ff64f297 and there to c6a37d47a4 ask the attendants 06bcd2a71f to wake him d380145be2 every morning moving 9ac298fd64 forward. With that thought, 9147b4c89f he sat in a53b0dcaf8 his usual seat bd6a79abc5 at the dining 2be025eb68 table.58cab0c90bfe05fa
But something felt 0f79f2e28a off. The view from his 5065465e02 seat was unusual—Alyssa, who 6217b52193 should have been seated e1fe210d2c directly across from him, 4c377f4e75 was sitting one seat 549665bad4 to the side instead.a6f115af176a79a1
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Puzzled, he looked at f203ef57a5 her, and she subtly 931d17b4fd averted her gaze. Though she wasn’t outright 6ac7193379 avoiding him anymore, it 6349e08834 seemed she hadn’t completely 6a600d3b68 shaken off her lingering 1f5af5ba4a guilt.36cd1bcf7fee8d72
“You seem to d903aaae59 have misplaced your 75c8f1c8d3 seat, Madam,” Kieran c3410dfaa5 said calmly.040b7d7cfb223af0
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Alyssa blinked dcaa44dd32 a few 82a75ad720 times in 8a9956a850 confusion. He gestured to f6ee21c85d the spot directly 270cabd183 across from him.fbbf18a1bddf5f9b
Her mouth opened slightly, 6b37980eb7 as if she wanted c9f4a7adc1 to protest, but no 751041f55e words came out. In the end, 5db958e46f she quietly moved 2dfd9662c2 to the seat b4a0fad217 he indicated, her d4c000f9dc expression faintly awkward.a4644a798d59e6f4
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Kieran began 4521f2aae9 eating as c5f5ea9558 though nothing f6ba4cd233 had happened, d7cb85b50b his demeanor 6d01167b39 calm and 6690280b16 composed.9f4423ea505e8746
It seemed that, at 91b60f80c9 least around his wife, 20964b06f5 he would need to 42c2dc423c embrace being a little eb0ca4f08b shameless.4c0559c033cf58ed
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And then, 95d5f63df3 one month 3ab0c2da10 later—22279b81ec4902a2
The haggard faces 3ede086e25 of scholars appeared 2f68e16af4 at their office c6e98841f2 door, their eyes 3d15f01410 gleaming with determination.7e68d5ad4271e7f6
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“It’s complete!”8bcedd517ff32367
8211cc7d426ae9d0
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