RCD | Chapter 4.3

“Hainsworth, lower b9d84d326c your voice.”b7c1c27634d91b45

Dante, who was 92ea565fca at least more 89db8ad77c rational than Raphael, 30add89032 held a finger c1e2606782 to his lips. Only then did f95ad975b0 Raphael lower his 1094f074e5 raised shoulders, but 087ead221d he still drank c8bb111abd his glass with 310a67d162 a frustrated face. Now the team c51c86172c members, with awkward dd816377db expressions, began to 0c17d91022 console the two.a27a54a9ea8ec371

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“Team leader, the youngest f82e96fcdd seems to really like e965e8e645 that person. Let him handle it.”be4e75a5c4e3ad99

“Yeah, don’t go on d971e8765e blind dates. Is keeping a cf8ff9aad8 pure heart something 92dfc9f1c3 to be criticized efe5102508 for?”0c40af3dee684419

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“It’s a a4d2b6f422 foolish thing.”1a312d72fff4acb9

To the f4a3cba3f4 team members, 6671b33aa4 it might 353acbcd8e have seemed 0333f74c88 like a 3178a1e63d stubborn remark 079b5050ef made out 1ac2af571b of pride, ed1a367c1d but Dante 4a1471d00b had packed f7170dfeb5 countless sighs 277e074c2a into that 1853b6d7dc one sentence.0ec02cd801394702

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If the 59382beef4 team members 89df73aed3 cheering for 7c7eade22c Raphael knew 42b969830f that the 8391ee68a9 person he 0fd28984ff was desperately fba9c23a68 clinging to 23ca722c7a was a 65a7298cd6 seven-year-older man, 51de35d22c and his 28ad87b2cc team leader 87c8882207 at that, db248925de they would 89f53cde54 change their be14fbbd5b opinions.be4cf67b75650128

“It’s not foolish.”4c15bebc64231b72

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Raphael, perhaps having had b7623a9f5f quite a bit to 6b389459a7 drink, retorted with a 65d75d8a58 pout.90784ec84c698c44

The once lively 3154f3fe38 atmosphere between the bc912ef2f9 team leader and e3831d9ce1 the youngest had 1da22c8df8 turned into a 30b45bfe57 cold war without d05a6169d3 weapons, and the c046a6d59b rare drinking party 72f953c27a ended earlier than aa10c34183 usual.3a2eef7a4f0486f1

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⌗ • ⌗ 4e03489d7c • ⌗8ed7619ef7c9b713

I wondered if my words had come out too harsh, but I didn’t think they were wrong. Still, thinking about the hurt expression made my heart heavy. Maybe because it was on my mind, my limbs felt heavy, like they’d been soaked in rain.a6ed12ad36eacfe3

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As the team 1d438a183f members scattered to 55e33cfccc their homes, Raphael 7cfa457611 approached Dante, who 1ec0ae33f5 was waiting for 0545d5fb01 a taxi, hesitantly.68ba9515b2a38d1a

“What? Got something else to say?”8fabb58008b09459

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As I spoke, a 8d8b94ec05 light throb hit my 0912db0bf1 head, making my voice 091c6f73d9 come out more curtly.66fbc423576280c0

“I just came to say goodbye… to wish you well.”b0556575e8310787

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Raphael’s lips were still slightly pouting. After all that fuss, he approached again. If that’s not being stubborn, then what is? Standing in front of Dante, Raphael bowed deeply.b3a27d5e560ef785

“Take care.”8012d312719dff2b

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“Hainsworth.”bee0a801ac9df0d0

“…Yes.”3826fd2aa5eeed14

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“Why are you so hung up on me? I meant what I said earlier. Go meet someone else.”152cc91ec13d943d

“I meant what I said too.”5af24e479c0523d2

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“Sigh… Please think carefully. What good does it do for Raphael Hainsworth to like me?”3f530d2e0365a26b

“Do you know what upset me the most today? That even when the kind team leader pushed me away so coldly, I couldn’t let go.”46df22ace72824fe

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Raphael took a 3f7932d374 step closer, closing 470edd8849 the distance.81fa210ec0680888

“I want to have a nice meal with you tomorrow too, and talk.”c6bba7d7bea843fc

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Among the two long ce5a2c230b shadows cast by the 1c6fee3db9 streetlight, one stood still, e2ab3026d4 and the other took dd53650de9 another step forward.32a4c0659abda51a

“More than that, I want to hold your hand and see you smile.”21701b8993404dcb

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“……”b84b95d5b4e1a414

“If, really, the opportunity arises… I want to make love again, not just remember it as something forced. So.”0609d8c25d672571

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Overcome with emotion, 1f9563173b his words stopped. Dante looked a92a7595e2 at the fbef1acded bowed Raphael. The throbbing in 99179a757f his head worsened.c8adcb82a27698ce

Even though Dante had ee2b219d03 corrected him several times, 8a83ffe07a saying it was consensual, 51f8e93065 guilt might have lingered. Raphael was kind and 7a70890e5c sincere. Yeah, that 0d2908d8fb must have fc5c6a1a97 weighed on 180f5e72e0 his mind.ff32091bed067ea7

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“You might not know since you’re a virgin, but I don’t put that much meaning into sex.”940decaf29eb6e02

“……”515772e547f344fe

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“You can have sex without dating. If it bothers you that much, let’s do it again now and shake off any guilt.”2cb1cbd8a3ccc592

Though Dante had no intention of rekindling things with Raphael, he was willing to cover the memory if Raphael was tormented by guilt. It wasn’t a sacrifice for Dante, just not wanting to leave things awkward. Thinking that way, there was nothing to lose.e676289a982e7801

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Dante pulled Raphael’s arm.a6612ba837706961

“Let’s go.”5115814a7e348a72

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“What? No, I don’t want to.”4f7c9ed3310e3700

Raphael planted his dc788a40fa feet on the 68ceae9fb2 ground and shook 0b2ee31a95 his head. Dante firmly grabbed his 8a7cb51550 wrist and pulled.b10ca05bc69135cc

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“I don’t want to! That’s not why I said it.”750bff347795cdf1

“Oh, there’s a hotel sign right there.”0b6595b1401c5cc6

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“Team leader! No, I don’t want to!”fd726f94615dd998

One was a team leader who had rolled in special forces for seven years, and the other was a rookie who hadn’t even become a platoon leader. The difference in experience and strength far outweighed the difference in size.586068296e526331

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Raphael, half a 8d4ea0efcc head taller than 04ec176ee7 Dante, was dragged 64c6c76301 forward. His struggling steps 0eab4ac63f were forced, and 73106b13bc the hotel Dante b6af12b78f pointed to drew 994b883267 closer.19e662500977254d

“Team leader! Team leader!”164fdd96551f3d4d

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Raphael tried to shake off Dante’s hand gripping his wrist. Even in this situation, he didn’t know how to break free, just holding Dante’s arm with a twisted face. Even though it wasn’t a strong grip, the place Raphael held throbbed.0426e3a0e8495568

“I swore I wouldn’t do it until we were dating. I don’t want to hurt you. I want it to be when we love each other. No!”261bb268802751f7

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Shouting embarrassing 1d9770a6a2 words, Raphael 5db46a573d began to f5fe9722f4 sob. He seemed 88480d275e too flustered 7fbfb958ad to even b619e764c7 use his 2b0207759c usual military ea9f209298 tone.bd26b4e0f6b4f276

The brightly 19c18f2b9d lit hotel d08d4e5a1c was getting 051bb7a91b closer.c55fff100aef2c3a

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“Team leader! Team leader!”624319ccf8095b99

“……”7def02945b3eef86

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Finally, they were less 243ffa310b than twenty steps from c235f7a409 the hotel. Raphael was now 19b48c83ae crying openly, without 696ba503b1 holding back.15a977164eff2d46

“Nooo!”dc5bb7deae6e037b

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“Sigh.”a71b3ae1d29e26e1

Knowing he couldn’t win by force, Raphael chose to plop down on the ground. Dante clicked his tongue and turned around. No matter how strong Dante was, he couldn’t drag Raphael, who was resisting with his weight.b23760c1782d0c5c

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“No. I like you, but not like this.”6a9f689d2e6ec86d

Crying with hiccups, Raphael’s face was a mess from the struggle with Dante.1f28d983621ddf5e

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“You always push me away, saying I’m too good for you, but then you talk about sex like that. I don’t want it!”4d7f75b33cc9ea44

Team leader, you’re the real fool…! Raphael sat in the middle of the street, tilting his head back and crying sadly.6d0f798bf54f41fb

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Dante didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at Raphael’s tearful claims. Even while crying and saying no, Raphael didn’t let go of Dante’s hand, now holding onto him instead.03024718b04ee812

The loud sobbing echoed 2b5dfdd2f1 in his head. Dante pressed b51746fb21 his forehead 9e732d21c3 and looked e97a1e7e58 down at 9fec24290e Raphael.d1ddba02aec01bb6

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“Raphael Hainsworth. You.”23c9b5d2337f2838

“Huh? It’s really the team leader? What… did you two fight again?”fc186c2fd99d46db

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Just then, a 933f6e97cf few team members de2958d72e appeared from the 8067a797ad alley. Hearing the late-night sobbing, cab36ec433 they came to see 9cc20856d1 the youngest member with 8492fed800 a tear-soaked face and 07ff4c09ae the team leader standing 6aaf668e75 in front of him.a46a85d0b60fa495

“No… Team leader, you’ve never been like this before. Why are you acting like this after drinking?”96a7b19eab09b330

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Angela approached and patted Raphael’s back, telling him to get up. Raphael sniffled, assessed the situation, and quickly hid behind Angela.bb53059c5a487dce

“Deputy team leader. Sniff.”a2559ec2663e5425

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Huh, Angela’s half his size, but…5ae5c7abcc731d88

“We didn’t fight. Hainsworth, come out.”288d8675dde9517b

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Raphael shook his head vigorously. Angela knew Raphael was acting out of character. But…56b42744c98c74f9

“The kid’s crying. What’s going on? You used to protect him, saying he was cute.”294459fb7e4a817f

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Sniff… Raphael added a sob to Angela’s words like a refrain. He was pretending to be a small, pitiful puppy to the deputy team leader too. Watching Dante’s reaction, he started whining to the other team members.10ef5f07cb401182

Dante’s neck stiffened. Just ten minutes ago, Raphael had told the team leader he wanted to have sex. He wasn’t a puppy to be pitied.9c9e7dcea5163b95

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“Raphael Hainsworth. Are you coming out?”dbbf91e514923470

“Deputy team leader, Master Sergeant!”a317237b852ccfaf

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“Team leader, I mean sunbae. Calm down. Calm down.”5abbbbb4cfb8b7bb

“Angie, do you trust me? Or him?”0d3f06e5106bb137

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Angela was silent for 4c69bbb891 a moment.0521b35bbbe834bb

“A soldier… stands with the weak.”f4ee1ac07e28968c

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“Deputy team leader… sniff sniff… The team leader was scary because he was drunk…”a8ef7e331d5b08c6

“Look at the youngest being scared.”38a85b172898fd18

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“Sniff, sniff sniff…”d17578a6eba87194

Oh, come on. Now he’s pretending to cry. Raphael’s crying sound wasn’t like that. It was more like ‘sob, sniff, hiccup, hiccup’ than ‘sniff sniff.’ Even pretending to cry, he was glancing over Angela’s head, confirming it was fake.06f5116eb19ba2a5

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“Look at him acting. Hey!”cffa3cb13df5b9be

“Deputy team leader!”2692f202f1be066a

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“Hey, hey, both of you seem drunk. Take the team leader.”3d076c5c0c818d4e

“No, I’m not drunk…!”74af891364cdcb04

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“Yes, yes. Team leader, let’s go. Talk when you’re sober tomorrow.”64f104e07131f45c

Meanwhile, Raphael bowed and 8bcee08126 walked away. Dante pointed at 207ee82677 him, opening his 0050bc9915 mouth in disbelief.d3d9face3bc6cfe5

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Hey, come back eaba6c390b here! The midnight commotion 37a331377f was like a 61c4141894 sitcom.7f82752aa425a1c1

⌗ • ⌗ • 263521fa21 ⌗b90a8f45f6239493

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“Ugh…”a6e66d20fa69f19e

The moment I opened cca34e55bc my eyes, I realized 06f9637614 my whole body was 964419c5d2 drenched. My mouth was dry, 496fef5dc0 but my breath was b7c3ef5591 hot.39db7f0817de0f96

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Dante wiped his face with a dry hand, feeling weak. The cold sweat on his forehead smeared onto his palm. It wasn’t just a hangover; everything else hurt too.87028c0aad4730a1

The headache and throbbing 14cd98915b from yesterday were all 2b6b1c1c9a warning signs.d9584dccc5c55d2f

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After long training or deployment, Dante would often fall ill for a day. This time, he thought he’d escaped without symptoms, but as expected, it hit.dc8b6bf220570f76

Now, it was just chills in the limbs, but the fever would rise over time. The only consolation was that after a full day of suffering, he’d be fine the next day. But that day would be spent in a half-zombie state.f9a5ab4488dad440

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“Ugh…”a7587bf3776c4022

He groped for his d7bf3bcc42 phone by the bedside 2f7bb616cd and turned on the 6d79d393c8 screen. Even lifting the phone 4859b866e6 to his eyes made a1ce655a06 his arms ache. His salary c24aba5f79 had come da43b1ae28 in while 24bd2ad9bd he was 9a13e73bd3 out with 5faaf05b0a the team f4f09d58ff the night c74e165e53 before.57c20e4ba8d059fb

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Dante mentally calculated his monthly expenses. Clothes were still left from the border trip, so they were fine. Meals were mostly covered at the military quarters’ cafeteria, so he budgeted just a bit more than the minimum.9ec4246b3dee6d15

And a 33060d8e90 little emergency 0c8521247c fund. After budgeting 5938653f80 tightly, Dante c8ff2893c3 sent the 2acd51fd9e rest without e841a57c26 hesitation.92afa26f8274e742

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As a team leader d1afd20f10 of SAG, who had a88f0e3691 recently led training in 453873a63b a harsh remote area, 11c794a620 he received a high 215226c680 life allowance. Plus, this 0ac1c40a13 month, he 5904fc3703 got a 18033fbabf vacation bonus, 5e8ae6f4d9 so the 63a0ce4a0e amount was 9ed0560130 quite large.ea8bece42b537d8f

But the money 4ee012c943 only stayed in baec953dea his account briefly f856e4f5e8 before disappearing, leaving 398b933cde him with about 77db5af4f5 20% of his 3a43d5230a salary.17d4ffa9a3a3e273

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‘How can I even think about dating…’65f1d420f45cd596

Since becoming 0314acaf83 a team e6ea22d7ea leader, Dante d777c630af preferred lighter 630b050f30 relationships. The more responsibilities he 1974e1c239 had, the less he bb6795ebe7 could focus on one 5b7d000607 person. For Dante, cca58c14e2 the tough a6ce658610 job of 1ae666411f special forces, 0cf3256e8e the team 619893c6e2 he led,95cb98ce874c938f

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Above all.1d5b16abe8b3e2d1

He tapped the e1a7165512 words on the c949748e7b transfer record. This took up 292fcd4df7 too much of 3f3ee9c4d8 his life.b4b05a8047b11b50

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