EP Chapter 1.6

“A name… sparkling, shining, see?”

Im Jihoon murmured, rubbing the tip of his nose against mine. His expression was filled with delight, but even seeing that, my teeth chattered with fear.

“I didn’t say anything, but my lips have been itching since I saw you yesterday. I knew it the moment I saw you, but why didn’t you know as soon as you saw me? Fuck.” 

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Im Jihoon spat out a curse as he wiped away the cold sweat from my face with his hand. The hand that was gently stroking my face turned rough as his hand moved down. Then it slipped inside my shirt and slowly moved upwards. His touch, rubbing my sweat-slicked stomach and kneading my chest, was incredibly rough.

“God, why do you look so… touchable? Oh, right… Hyung, you came to prison for prostitution, didn’t you? You must have been touched a lot… Fuck. What were the other bitches like? Did they throw themselves at you like I did? I find it disgusting. So, did you like it when those bitches touched you? Did it turn you on?” 

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Im Jihoon pressed me with such absurd questions.

Huh? Huh? Tell me, dammit.

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He asked like that, cursing, and there was no way I could give a proper answer. I was so scared that I didn’t even feel wronged. I just trembled, my teeth chattering. Im Jihoon, who had come so close that only his eyes were visible, rolled his eyes.

“S-Sorry. I was wrong.”

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I pleaded, clinging to Im Jihoon’s hand even though I knew very well that these were pointless words. But that wasn’t important. I didn’t know how to appease him, so this was all I could do.

Im Jihoon chuckled faintly. Then, instead of pressing me further, he pulled me into his arms.

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“Your skin was so soft earlier, but now that it’s soaked in sweat… Haa. Sometimes, when life gets really boring, I make the others suck me off.”

My dick. 

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Im Jihoon whispered those words quietly. Then, slowly rubbing my lower abdomen, he continued,

“It’s not that it turns me on, it’s just… fun. But… Hyung, you’re really interesting. I kind of want to make you suck me off too, but I think it would be more fun to fuck you myself. I’ve never had thoughts like these before. Is this what destiny feels like?”

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His hand, like a snake that had slithered inside my clothes, crawled all over my body. I simply surrendered my body to Im Jihoon’s touch. Im Jihoon continued whispering a string of obscene words that even I had never heard of. Fortunately, I wasn’t fazed of such talk. So, this situation was better than before.

Suddenly, an old memory came to mind. It was a little while after I had told Im Jihoon about my humble dream; the lady who had complimented me on my good looks called me over. My first experience was with that lady. At least, that’s what I consider it to be.

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Compared to being hit and hurt… this kind of thing was closer to being cherished. I thought that if I decided to enjoy his touch, I could.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have sex with a man if I get used to it? Then, after I get out of prison, my job prospects will broaden. As I started to enjoy Im Jihoon’s touch, such ridiculously carefree thoughts suddenly crossed my mind. I leaned my back fully against Im Jihoon’s chest.

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Being held feels different from holding someone. It’s a little more… warm, I guess?

Im Jihoon’s fingers traced my ribs, sending shivers down my spine. I wriggled and let out a small moan. My body, which had been trembling with fear, had calmed down, and my heart was now pounding for a different reason.

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I slightly raised my head. Naturally, my eyes met Im Jihoon’s, but having pressed my body against his for a while, he seemed less scary. Im Jihoon, looking at me, briefly furrowed his brow before flashing a smile, revealing his teeth.

“You seem to be enjoying this. Did you have sex for money this easily?” 

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Having sex for money was easy, which was why it was so great.

I thought that to myself, but I wasn’t stupid enough to say it out loud. 

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Im Jihoon, as if he had only been talking dirty, didn’t press me for an answer. His hand was now kneading my buttocks. 

Is he really going to do it right now? 

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I didn’t need to prepare myself mentally, but I felt a little burdened. Just then, Im Jihoon gently pushed me away.

“It’s almost time for the guys to come back, so go wash up. If they see you all sweaty, they might get turned on. That would piss me off.” 

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Im Jihoon said those absurd words with terrifying seriousness as he pulled up my prison uniform shirt. There was no reason to go against him, so I naturally raised my arms as I watched his hand move upwards to undress me.

Im Jihoon muttered something while my face was briefly covered by the shirt. I didn’t hear exactly what he said, but since the word ended with “-cker,” I was certain it was a curse word.

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“Hyung, your left chest.”

Im Jihoon said, dropping my shirt onto the floor mat and gestured. I followed his gaze down to my chest. Just as I had seen in the morning, my left chest was dark and bruised as if it were rotting. The scab from being scratched by fingernails was also still there. Im Jihoon gently ran a finger over the wound.

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“This wound…. feels just like a Name to me.”

It was hot, and itchy, just like mine. 

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Im Jihoon muttered softly as if to himself. Since he’s already experienced it firsthand, it was likely a Name.

So, will Im Jihoon’s name also be engraved on my body?

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I bit my upper lip, the thought both appealing and unsettling. Im Jihoon rubbed my chest again with his finger.

“They say you might not get the same name. If someone else’s Name appears here, I’ll cut it out for you. No, I don’t know what I’d do if it’s some asshole… Anyway, if my name appears, let’s have some good sex, hyung. I want to fuck you right now, but I’m holding back because of this.”

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Im Jihoon tapped my chest and jerked his chin towards the bathroom. 

Fucking bastard, son of a bitch, goddamn bastard, I hope you get stabbed to death… 

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Just fuck me already, it’s fine. I like sex, but why are you scaring me like this?

I don’t even know how this works. If someone else’s name appears, am I destined to be painfully discarded and die?

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I felt so wronged and scared. But, afraid that Im Jihoon might hurt me right there and then, I diligently moved my trembling legs toward the bathroom. Im Jihoon followed me with a chilling gaze.

This prison, this chicken coop, might be teeming with guys who are worse than chickens. But at least, I was a relatively good chicken. Why is a vicious predator, not even a bad chicken, stuck in a herbivore’s pen? 

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I felt like I was going insane.

* * *

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I don’t even remember how the day passed. I ate and just sat there, and before I knew it, my bedding was spread out next to Im Jihoon’s spot.

Today, the cell leader and his lackeys didn’t watch TV. That gave me some strange sense of comfort. If I’m this scared, how scared must they be to not even watch TV? That was the kind of meager comfort I could find for my pathetic self.

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The moldy ceiling, faint moonlight streaming in. It’s the same night as yesterday, but I feel different.

No, fuck.

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How has only one day passed?

I lay stiffly, staring straight ahead, afraid that Im Jihoon might be staring at me. The thought of having to do this for three months made me want to die. 

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This is excruciating. I want to cry. 

As I thought that, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes. I never had anyone to protect me. But at least, there were many people who were interested in me. I used to find comfort in that…

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I’ve never really felt the sting of loneliness as deeply as I do now. A crazy bastard like Im Jihoon should be executed. So why is a bastard like him breathing the same air as me in the same room?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

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No matter how much I cursed internally, my frustration didn’t subside.

My pillow was damp with tears, but the tears showed no sign of stopping. Actually, I wanted to cry even louder, to wail, but I couldn’t even cry freely, which infuriated me even more.

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Wiping away my tears, I pulled the blanket over my head. Sniffle, sniffle, I couldn’t help the sound of my sniffling nose, so I was trying to hide it. It’s embarrassing to be caught crying in a place with so many people.

Just then, I heard the rustling sound of the blanket being pulled down. I stiffened my body and pretended to be asleep, breathing quietly through my mouth.

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Who is it?

Anyone. Please, anyone but Im Jihoon.

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I prayed fervently. But then my blanket was suddenly pulled away. So, I was sure it was Im Jihoon.

There are two people in this room who would pull the blanket off a sleeping person without a second thought. Im Jihoon and the cell leader. But the cell leader wouldn’t dare mess with me for fear of repercussions, so that leaves only Im Jihoon.

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“You’re so fucking cute… Hyung, are you crying?”

Sure enough, it was Im Jihoon who had pulled the blanket away. He whispered in my ear and suddenly slipped under my blanket. Im Jihoon pulled me on top of him. I was caught off guard, straddling him and held tight in his embrace.

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“If you act cute like this, do you think I’ll keep teasing you, or not?” 

Im Jihoon asked, as if talking to a four- or five-year-old. This sudden change in his demeanor scared me again, and along with the fear came anger. I wanted to ask him if he was tormenting me, to the point where I wanted to die, because he found it amusing. But asking that would be like asking him to kill me. So, I answered timidly,

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“I think it would be nice if you didn’t.”

As soon as I finished speaking, a vibration went off from his stomach, and my body shook. This psychopath is laughing at my sincerity.

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“Today, I… I was pissed off since this morning, so I did it on purpose. You were flirting with everyone.”

Im Jihoon patted my back as he rambled on with his nonsense. For some reason, the feeling of his large hand gently patting my back was comforting.

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“I… I told you stories about the past yesterday. You see… fuck, even at this age, I thought those Choco Pies… I thought you only gave them to me. But, you… you were giving them to everyone. But I told myself I should be patient because at least you only peeled the wrapper for me, right? But… Let’s say I’ll let it slide that you played around with others while I was gone. But now that I’m here… is it okay to just take your clothes off in front of everyone?”

I wondered what kind of twisted logic this was, but his tone was so terrifying. 

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What should I do, what should I do? 

Panicking internally, I hugged Im Jihoon tightly with my arms, figuring he wouldn’t be able to hit me like this.

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“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

I whispered the insincere apology with all my might, as if it were genuine. It would be too late once he started hitting me. So, I had to do well before I got hit. But I couldn’t understand this bastard’s thought process at all, so I couldn’t even guess what mistake I had made. So, since this worked before, I had no choice but to repeat it.

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“Okay, don’t do that again.”

Im Jihoon’s voice sounded satisfied. He also whispered that he’d try not to be scary to me starting tomorrow.

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I asked him timidly, but firmly, if by “not scary,” he meant he wouldn’t hit me, curse at me, or threaten to hit me.

“Of course.”

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Im Jihoon replied as if it were obvious. I felt so relieved that I buried my face in Im Jihoon’s chest and sniffled a little.