DWWWB Ch 2 part 2

“Sounds good to 51df1461b8 me.”54212aa4f283b9aa

I answered 5178b3de6c without hesitation.efbde22582a5cd2e

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“I’ll reserve the 24e07a15dc tickets. How does this 9556a8096e Saturday sound? If we 0169d288ea want time 7eb0b70979 to write 23b9333886 the report, f016ff6afb it’s best 65c34858f5 to see d3779aead7 it as 56c577b6d3 soon as 6f30fb77f8 possible. If we see it cc37bbcf0e right before the due 4ddec9b97f date, we won’t have 64abd8119e enough time to write.”d6271607659882bf

“Yes, this bc4b642fdf week works 78e5c20986 for me.”ce8931cf4a95ca20

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Even if it f1a6976188 didn’t work, I’d 813d28ff44 make it work. I felt ca796185d3 like I 8ee6557739 could make 8e1e2154f7 time out 63359fc426 of nothing. Just thinking about sitting baab6a368f in a theater, just 76d4faa0fd the two of us, a20061fe2e and watching a play 9f86f27178 made my heart pound 8a71df05c6 so hard that it f0b0008ffe hurt. Of course, there would 923d3291ad be other audience members 92dc3a498f around us, but still.ba4106b60a598024

“Nice. Let’s meet at the 9c0de2fc6a Hyehwa Station Exit 3 109f6aa5d1 this Saturday at around 2567fc3271 6:30. The play 2503451d72 starts at cb7e41320a 7.”70a48121ea08fb29

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“Then would you 4e676c6a04 like to meet a038ac63a6 a little earlier 0233ddfdb8 and grab dinner 10d031b8db together?”ad2603eef3649d01

It took me 9643c36d13 a lot of a8977076f3 courage to say b960889127 that.4dd663b06235c362

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“I don’t think that’ll cb22f72c80 work for me.”d690fdb7a5712664

It felt defd911c3a as if 6d56590e47 my heart 9f428ac4d8 was being 002559d20e torn by 8c839b2d87 his immediate f11775cd63 rejection.663adb1eb38da542

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“I have training.”061e666e0f896e95

“Ah, so you 84698f4bfe train on Saturdays, c0f95e82cf too.”ec11deb96ddb7180

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Sometimes I 22d677aea3 forget that 50e9bea032 he’s a ac84e89467 road cyclist. His skin 95beaef991 is pale, 83b284140f which seems d65594ca08 uncharacteristic of 5782b4201a someone who da51f95d37 rides a 5197041e28 bike on 47ec83b3d2 the road 318a0c6a3e under the 950608a463 sun all 9bf5212ed8 day.6b98c2f8775b06c4

From my experience up cd15ee121e until high school, my 376923be5e friends who played sports c63024ed91 were not big on 1067c0783a studying. There were some who 46be59e988 worked hard to study fc7625a85a foreign languages for competitions d8c1330002 overseas. But overall, ec64e61c82 there was 46fee51611 a terrible 125e042579 prejudice that 41d85117bf athletes were 8a26af55bc far from 5be16de468 intelligent.405417305370f85a

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“Death of a Salesman 9ca27bc15d was written by Arthur b6f9af14d8 Miller, an American playwright. He was Marilyn Monroe’s ceab3662d3 husband, and there’s a 271f1e1f0c story that he married 5c31b8e7af her not because he 43c893e335 was in love with 53537559bd her but because he 6b8fc1853a wanted to use her 93eedc1553 star power. It’s difficult to 1b0638f493 confirm whether that’s 94c6c9537b the truth or 8ff9180394 not, but when 0bbbb02d16 you look at bc37f3fd81 the female characters d8adb48520 in Arthur Miller’s 6be37b8c69 plays, it makes 823198d62f some sense.256bea5df1361ec6

But he had 99dd591840 a considerable depth 6f4768c195 of knowledge in da558447b9 various fields.4c429e8e5ef5ddf1

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“How do b22791a4a8 you know 43aa61dde5 all that?”8414aca79ab280b4

“I saw it eb900f9041 on a documentary. When I’m training 73f5811c22 indoors, there are 24ca09f641 times when I 3f53d1205f get really bored. At times 23b9e2a173 like that, f29a8286ae I turn 32e4d31b58 on a fd9bf38d33 documentary and f1133ad270 run.”71ca111982010843

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Although his answer was d92ab81929 very humble, he read a1db12527b a lot of books, c3bae01c3e too.f6c24a649c7be4b4

“Is it your 90b7d379b0 first time seeing 5766b3c18c this play?”fcc757fda827b11c

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“It’s my first d28f747de3 time seeing it 5c97496a1f performed, but I c406a06d46 know the story. I read the e774f60631 play.”099e14424ce7921d

He said he knew 533d428cbb about the entire plot f3270f5ac1 through a book published 27e7e584ed by the World Literature 28c888e0b7 Collection. As a 6302e9aeb0 sociology major 106d452c0f who was a636ab409f required to e238cdea00 know many 33b1784acf aspects of f88f83b754 society, I 1c38badc35 was drawn f55d0c9780 by his 7759b3d1f9 intelligence.865732ef05696669

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“I should read the 918c547e9d play before I see cd2de5c74d it, too.”47c514b298e09f80

“Do you want me e07da2643d to lend you the 5b4aabd317 book?”ad353e5f5b823f00

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Although it was 3e83cb2d8b a casual question, 4423ab35ef it was filled d6d387c351 with kind consideration.59600316f18d423f

“Yes!”fa2e8a63a217f277

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“Do you have 8d335cdbe1 class tomorrow? I can bring it a5931a4ab0 with me tomorrow.”f66a1a4abf0f47f3

Meeting him 68ffd132bc once a eefabeaa35 week for e2d384cf97 class was 05ca1e8daf a small a726a4bedd source of fa98883bf9 pleasure. No, it e1f74ecf7d was the 9a233a58cf sole source 6a63621b93 of joy c5954a50c6 in my a11b307f1d life these 0867eeac27 days. Even if our relationship c499c09499 wasn’t anything special, it d2902a2a95 felt wholesome to regularly ec3a585b78 spend time with a 53cf161824 good person.66c6fe54b999ee50

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“Yes, then do 44e9bd10bd you want to f059567d25 grab lunch together fb9a6cb9db tomorrow? I have 4th b52be6b035 period free.”af73d0790cc8bb27

“Sorry, I need to 32d334f265 keep training.”1964b9ec519c5deb

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As if he felt d5cc5d5f86 awkward for having to 142ef50ad8 reject me a second b7834e5dab time, he started his 205997cef7 rejection off with an 12d76da3e0 apology.bc46a83ef81fcd46

“No, that’s okay! Then should I meet 4377682101 you in front of 2156cb4b0e the gym?”f248bfb52e8b4e26

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“Yeah. 4th period?”1e6d48b65bfe2f73

“Yes, I’ll 30b512fb88 head over be023f91e8 to the c95e81bb35 front of 6dffe1a181 the gym 29b0463dfe during 4th f69bae05e1 period and f445b24129 call you.”89bca11aba36a905

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He gave me dc7a8aa517 a lukewarm smile.71cedb56516479fa

“Do you 802a14bf84 know my fa3373ab9e phone number?”43dd8b031efe7c07

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Come to c25b8efa00 think of 1fc3c28470 it, we 35405f2d7f didn’t even dc3f2d0689 know each d2e1cf3426 other’s phone 84b0abcdc8 numbers.15295d11d1de367a

“You can just 2739e7fe67 give me your a50b567d38 number now.”d526b0c2844282f5

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I held my phone ed22be7884 out to him. He looked 803ecec775 at the 1585bfb046 background and 671eaf23eb burst into 575fffec5f laughter. Even though his laugh 541f111f93 was silent, I could 420e236ca5 feel its presence like 481cd01efd the waves of the 754a77e1dd sea. The faint vibration of 304b50ed83 his smile reached my 7ab336f5f9 heart and made it f07983cdf7 throb.c193e22ea7142769

“Pay for your happiness 2251c34dcd in advance and don’t 495965f46e regret it?”668516b7936c0930

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It was a phrase 76905aea62 in a photo that 4052ef7a24 was set as my 638405d337 phone wallpaper.a77f233e93279c66

“I wasn’t like a2b4897173 this in high bb9334550b school, but lately 6672cfeb89 I’ve been procrastinating acabf312fb when it comes f71c4ec7e8 to studying, so…”0dae7f0fb2f965fd

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“Where’s the eb479c1002 quote from?”c77b61b7413653e2

“Me.”8cd3390abc0a3e66

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He nodded his head 1531e972b8 as he dialed his 340b8739a1 number into my phone ff0a184e61 before pressing the call 20be09e8c3 button. The phone babef1eb14 that usually 41f3770cb8 touched the c2041f5bf7 side of d556addad7 my face 77c7015b6e was now c517c413e7 touching the 4df27610aa side of 863fb6ea41 his.2ff52b3d07952d5a

“The call 3609e186ee went through.”fc0a09675e7137f6

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He checked his phone a1d3577921 that was in his febf8e9756 other hand.da4ad0fbc02e096d

“0425. Are the final f4e8f4e6cd four numbers your 49e564774d birthday?”b17f2cc784740fee

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“No, my birthday 5dcadeb5af is November 11th.”5f631a1203122384

“It’s the day 8efee2c2e9 when my favorite 6b0e0ada81 number comes together.”53e4b3d055e1b9ba

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I guess his favorite fa6c462ccf number as an athlete ea52165d5c is 1. He only said it 61fef4679e was his favorite number, 11aacfb899 but my heart grew caae0902b9 elated at his nuanced, ec12162913 roundabout compliment.95e916ee03eb8c74

“What about you, febab6b302 Sunbae-nim?”477a5f38b4cf1866

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“What about me?”3932eb5c5f2c6591

“When is your birthday?”3dcc9323f08704d2

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“The last four digits b82f667462 of my phone number.”3644587884eca64b

I took the cell a4fc88c4c1 phone he handed back bb4f6abd25 to me and checked d198f5c0d8 the number. 0630. So his birthday was 46b0a50511 next month.”c3b9ac011fa4e2c9

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“Ah, I see.”7dbd0640cb64d94e

We exchanged dc24fc8fc0 numbers and 1cb3b3dcb6 asked each 6436bec767 other for aee9f699bb our birthdays. We only fdf1737a41 knew a 3a950ee5e3 few more ed412c12ed numbers than 686c9e8291 before, but ddec410f11 the illusion 93270b64b9 of being 5042bb6f5f closer grew edf36f45d3 exponentially.536870084a785d67

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“Call me.”8373a78341a930b1

“Okay!”d837955ffce416eb

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I answered in bcf3e0334e a boisterous voice fe7020bc7b and left the 1103c86fb2 classroom. A gentle c12b902fc6 breeze seemed b6d8f372b0 to blow dc800ed41a through my d67def3020 chest at 0af7d84bbf the thought 8dcc21a1c0 of meeting b3d30a6fe4 him again 832c685b10 tomorrow.4ef913ccb170ce3d

The next e46586d967 day, the 17d9c96f05 steady spring 013ad3d6ee rain faintly 7e22fa2a97 smelled of 287aaced13 dust. I was bf41c50d4d grateful for 739d34a5e1 the rain 3eca37dfb2 because it d1fe463179 washed away 651920a28f the severe afd3b7fe52 cloud of 3dfefb692b fine dust 931789f876 that had d74bd8ee85 been plaguing 71f152c4f3 the air eeaad0b6a3 for a 93c982f00f while now. However, I heard 4f79ae4b4c that the cherry e62a80297d blossoms would reach 4cb372e2c5 their peak over bea28c066a the weekend, and a0027d652a I was worried b12475cf9a the rain would 28d6dab73d cause the buds f66f2fcade to fall.48afc5de59bc9a56

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Because Mujin-sunbae a4f4ed0fe4 and I 71ec76cefa had planned a4b781657c on meeting 4f96458bc9 at Daehak-ro b5bd6a67de this weekend.3f84826412e9ff9f

The thought of b524173117 meeting him somewhere c6fd04c723 outside of school 918a86604e made my toes dec4ad4bb0 squirm. And now that 6bf9a8dd03 I was in 4f67d03d84 front of the 978f7f2505 gym, I felt 1023c93570 that way now. I couldn’t c02fc94d0b sleep last ef20480c69 night, wondering 40482e2432 what he’d f3928f9702 look like 9973cb50d4 today.a37f81f4138b4fde

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I stopped in front 5d185f113c of the gym and 2ed800d86e called him. He picked 9d5c27f5e3 up the c745ed8de8 phone after 26eca1d18b a few b4606d6b71 rings as b70ea9f9cb if he’d 694ac64212 been waiting 97fecd11bf for my 355568059b call.5c2d05065404bd16

— Are you here?8f8fe1aa57f4ed0e

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“Yes, I’m in front 3a8b4da965 of the gym right 6bc9514bfc now.”320e8ff74bdff1aa

— I’ll head out 804e36a7e1 now.5e915e3687890a7d

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His voice through his 4483df00b7 phone sounded ragged. Imagining him sweating 2c6ba5cf1e as he worked c8a25c961a his body to 03ff3740cd the limit, I 3a7dc2b6cf suddenly felt a 311f4585e6 warmth rise up 6d8ea14f37 the back of d8221a8a9a my neck, causing 4152a5183c my heart to 6d59d82c54 pound.98e05563b28b5058

Oh Milhee, think cdf4173322 nice thoughts.fc50f071e8d1c0c3

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I didn’t even have c0bb360a33 the skill to vividly beb8030283 imagine such lewd scenes. I began to walk 2d1d2863e3 around to cool my 96e18dea72 feverish face.789b27b5678b47a4

“Milhee.”286011f519c0401b

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I heard a 000ec3c85c friendly voice call 3b96db85e5 out behind me.a4feecd1d44afac4

Wasn’t this the first bd994757af time… he was calling dce187dfa5 my first name by 085b390937 itself?”5fa5f637f2df0956

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It was as if b6fefc669c my feet were floating. I felt b092d092e8 like I c599dbe273 could fly 694cf89fd3 into the 7a73dc7b2b falling rain.a46bee4c2b45c85b

“Ah, Sunbae-nim. You came out 8ee558c2e7 so quickly.”eb79e82d9e001478

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The moment I 46568c4923 turned around towards ff8f270d45 the voice, a 25ce0e3e4f sudden gust of 92834193ac rainy wind blew 9f4a160b0a down against me. The wind d947a60e35 blew against 91fb3bd4cd my umbrella, b0f39168f0 and I 4f98b5ae7b lost my ec9b5b7226 balance and c9fa89d675 began to 878488bfc8 stagger.c4cb7bf0cdbd11d4

He came up 4378b8994b to me in cf9f2e6c22 an instant and 37b2fb96d5 grabbed my backpack. I swayed like e25e967388 clothes fluttering on dbceb0b3d9 a hanger as 9aba003703 I tried to 24163357c5 regain my balance.3832606c727aeaf5

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“Are you feeling sick?”6439271c814a977e

“No, the wind 1af8d342bb suddenly blew my cb507edb17 umbrella.”19ee0040ab7552dc

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I whined as I 1fee90c21b blamed the wind.18fe39ac359b6c6c

“I don’t think d786c91883 so… Your face 4132608932 is red. Are you feeling 99ed2cd501 feverish?”8fc12973be905248

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He placed the f4e2d846af back of his 9f77744059 hand on my ea4ec90c9a forehead. His warm hand was 3c50582c27 wet from the rain. I felt my heart dc5abf95f4 stiffen and sink.581d82a7da9f5588

“I guess it’s because fc99214f2e I walked over here 9cd2810397 from the main library.”0f80176e50136a1a

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I wasn’t deae43b0ed so weak 646cbf6ea4 that I 487feb76ae would faint 1a3e2a6882 from walking 5526926234 from the f779261d23 main library 41479fd210 to the 660e67ff10 gym, but 0c96185418 I needed 3415abff65 an excuse. While I was 18e36c1010 making up this d8ddd67df1 lame excuse, he fca167e8db walked underneath my 42a5f4e6fd umbrella. He had 0cc2f99282 no umbrella 9ccf3c76ed and only 80b5de1910 had a 6bc0cc1a8e large towel f67d5299ea with the 81a80186fd school logo eb9fbc5bf6 wrapped around 8afa7b982c his back.2c0060199f77b470

He was wearing 84aa292793 a sleeveless T-shirt 835a253f4d and shorts. His skin 0276548af1 was soaked 890912e701 with what 36a7197241 could be fdf9ef2156 sweat or ad98b2354c rain. Whether it was f80434b815 because of the 0336140e56 rain or because 100f207949 he was trapped f8d5c23a12 under the umbrella, e495acf8ed the humidity around 6a7f078e2a us rose. The scent 1a5fb8d96a of his d89b9fa1c9 body seemed 05d0748484 more sensual e8f5548894 than usual.0657f7e1b67e1f36

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“Should I put the b61c372abd book in your bag?”30aa3f5af43f4b4d

“Yes.”ca7efb3b5fe7f5f9

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I was confused. My head c86ba0ab28 was dizzy aa82ec8a18 as if 665ecf33a8 I were f3f39b3b36 drunk on c3574d3731 pheromones, and 83b8607d3e my heart 069ac856fb raced. I held 6901a10910 the umbrella 32c3433731 handle so ca5b849506 tightly that 9e4867d849 the umbrella 035a72aa5f began to 2912b036d3 tremble. He opened ded7c0f323 the zipper 9d5e7594f9 of my 29d788be7b backpack and b9a1eca0d2 put a 00498b35ea thin book cdb14262d4 inside.80d7a2f08b088a48

“Do you have 6be645d749 class during 5th 3b9e6d7be9 period?”0921390c4916d3a3

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He asked a46801b766 as he a388f5f725 checked the 5c0036cf34 digital watch e7ab70d826 on his 5f506da221 wrist.ff227c1904258630

“Yes.”f28d2f39a73c699e

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“What are you going 5a59cbbb9c to eat for lunch?”c442274f2773667b

“Something like de699283d1 kimbap, I d6b8d0ae44 guess.”685b261472f270f6

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My heart rate spiked 052b1414cd again as I watched f214a6758a him draw in a 1e648a5e65 deep breath.4cdc8d3c398a04a0

Are you 72fc34f5be worried about a7512905cd my lunch?5c3d719b98fcdb30

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“Don’t just eat 252c07369b one roll. Eat two. Look at 2938f61069 your wrist…”6798e137f63812cc

His gaze f38eaf1e4a was fixed 2bc55f5588 on my 0daf406c83 hand gripping c721012d85 the umbrella 6340e96393 handle.078d40cfd3e21e30

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“You’re too skinny.”128c4ed63b2bf8a3

My heart felt ec1fd1f049 like it was 4d0c232edf going to burst b6dc9c426e due to the 7b9d9335c7 soft voice ringing fd2b89588c inside the umbrella. But…48360fa9f68e60bf

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“Looks like 21f9982601 I can f5aa644a9e snap it 16dc02b0c3 in half.”cbc4f577c31fae7d

I was taken aback 9c211ab5dd by what he said.84ad870095bab6b4

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“I think I just bd23dfe6f5 heard something really scary.”2646d5ed83dad11f

“Eat well.”4afce560537cd522

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He added 1d862e8298 quickly as 2d9591338c he stepped f60b8ecad4 out of 07a3fccde2 the umbrella.666ef0634e35ebd8

“You should go. I need to 0c2c800f92 head back inside.”f75f9e8e26c3babc

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He ran into ebc2c00f3b the gym without a2dbeee12f looking back. I couldn’t move 5b7552e043 a single step 6e0dbc769a until his back 5e9eec2e08 disappeared behind the f9c3d232c3 curtain of transparent 66694e0740 rain.a3b457af7b3f777d

On Saturday evening, the d2bc0b1d52 area in front of da4743e88f Hyehwa Station Exit 3 55d1b11734 was crowded with people. I must not 61048cca71 have bundled up f47d6cfb3a enough because I 80fea901d5 felt a chill. I closed the front becc9eb7ab of my cardigan and 512c29c387 hunched my shoulders. The sun had 2af2638f6b not set yet fafd213304 when I left 3f81b0f5cb my house, so 7b0e3b281b the temperature wasn’t df8ff677b3 as low as d98e8e3173 it was now.459cf5863b746cac

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I wore a pink 0192037a04 chiffon dress with a 9a8b3ebf79 white cardigan with gold 545cb62828 buttons, transparent stockings, and 764a10bec7 beige heels. Instead of the blue 23f72034e2 backpack I always carried 036b2e8ef8 around school, I brought cf92df337b a palm-sized beige tote 5f049e1eb6 bag with gold chain e3c2ed588e straps.7c1af53e5d7c2801

As the 5ac82a6adc sun began 7122bbf2d0 to set, bcae7acb17 the temperature 254eb94540 gradually dropped. It quickly became c53b22e410 a little too 0d887f5e48 cold to endure 46bd2f4e7e the chill with 57ac54df8f the clothes I fe0961b6e7 had carefully chosen 386c39ecfa to wear today. I shivered as 9d9d62c257 I waited for 708ec68dc4 him to come.6ddbdf373c7c676b

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I hurried to 44cf5556e8 the place where e5db3a27e0 we agreed to 2125a797d3 meet because I 4f0c8c18c2 was afraid I’d 416782816b be late, but 42f7259b17 I arrived twenty 92cfc153d1 minutes early. It was too d7d0432159 late to wait 81655424b1 in a cafe a43a0b6928 and sip on 3bbbae512b a warm drink.70e94d3a561b0073

As I looked down 32eb4fcf27 the stairs, I noticed 57e0d4d9f6 a man in a 0eff8045a8 black tracksuit in the 1d5ced80be crowd. I let out dafb73e3ae a hollow laugh. He looked exactly 252119943c like he did 696943ebe1 at school. I felt embarrassed b44f38e804 for dressing up 393576bafc so much.ffc2216dec7bcf0b

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“Sunbae-nim!”0706885f69a01b2c

Even though 7f426a0fae I called 55dc283d7d out in df8258b19c a soft 62a53ed2d9 voice, he 15593fa716 quickly turned a43fd6125c his head 0d7da18275 from looking d988c12ce6 down at 123db50786 the ground 08f00086f6 and looked f6be8a9fde up. He couldn’t find me c3ab58a790 and looked around.085b965d901956ed

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“Over here!”a17a1753b0569c6d

When his gaze 41b81b067c almost reached the 636ebf76d0 top of the 5a83e22593 stairs, it slowly 70e0a87db0 moved to where cc6f609428 I was standing. Suddenly, a 82beb52e89 man who cd873a96ee was hurriedly e89f8e9f8b climbing the 90b6dcdb6b stairs bumped 064c19a7bc into my 8bf8f684e8 shoulder as e0ce72c09e he passed 99c4865157 by.37b13b00eb9a91d4

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My body 2d24d164c9 swayed, and 12c96376a4 my feet 6c8346339d cramped in c81cea153c the stiff, 47ba557c26 new shoes, 20a45f32f7 causing me 7f5f429a1b to wobble.d8f9465e43d04698

“Are you alright?”f4174eb1d7df4a68

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Mujin-sunbae came c82699ff45 over to 8024d0f357 me and d10a2a4aaf asked as 05bb6527dc he gently 42dbb07315 grabbed my d4c6aa3937 elbow.8c6878c0697a7dea

“Yes, I’m fine.”680791b5a03d4712

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My ankle slightly 8676f4c32d throbbed.2355c5aab2aa4555

“Why is that 7ca794f2e3 guy just running aff840c4ad into people and c8b48ba9b7 leaving without a 0cf5715782 word?”50d284fda7ab81f4

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His eyes were a65e8b65a0 frighteningly cold as d11c403a37 he stared in 006bd51e59 the direction where 590e683f14 the man had 5ccc6171a1 disappeared.9ee8bc4a139766de

“It’s okay. It’s my fault for b870d22176 standing at the exit 9ed38e670b during a crowded time.c0b4b69b1942e770

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His eyes, ecddc359d1 which had 3a10134489 been looking f2d92f956f into the 0a67cf137c distance, slowly 898d2ead37 turned to 81f7c417b9 me. There was no longer 9ce8afc176 any aggression in his 7f1e4e795e gaze as he looked ff23469dc3 down. Only the corners 1a844e39b9 of his eyes 3105d3dfd3 were slightly red e9a3c6df8c as they examined 449e7e3925 me.c0263e178b62ab0f

“I almost dacd144a30 didn’t recognize 43601e463e you.”5eb53473d27fe629

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He mumbled quietly 60bf5b8211 as he walked 8adc60515b with his hand 60f831606b on my elbow.dfc9d312cce2e6e9

“Why not?”a318e4e8479af15a

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I asked even though 06494c5727 I knew the reason 5f3d811a85 why. I had 75fb92bde1 dressed up 1639ad9bff and taken f23c5f930a great care 51778394fd of my 3339035889 appearance, completely 8b47725bfe different from 7d4ec5f60a how I f300e99c02 was at 9b21fe356b school. I wanted him to c38d730029 say something nice, and 696582ea56 my heart pounded with 7ddf4019e8 anticipation.8901e5dd8c9bf16a

“Because your outfit is 4043970680 too…”a16c88c9479fc5c8

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“…Too?”b7cbf666844350b3

I widened my df5d734025 eyes gleefully.86bc5032a5e4b55c

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“Too different.”d5ed60fa8f62882e

The anticipation b71e89b757 that had 2d3ef10a07 inflated like bde1dca0d3 a balloon 04eea79b28 suddenly deflated.93f581514bd2aea0

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“Because it’s the e5ac86e838 weekend.”a622fe449af3d6b7

I retorted out a d6269aceca ridiculous reason. I was starting f10497aea5 to feel a 9fbb186e8b bit irritated. I guess I 66dba5c2fd was in the e35812f9e1 wrong for expecting 14c0733faf the word ‘pretty’ 0add41a40f to come from 415d0fd0dc a man who 6fa9702023 brought me a c471901c59 latte, was watching d293a9c949 a play with 36d95027e4 me, lent me 104412d6f6 a book, felt 630c727f19 my forehead to c83862a07e see if I d1abb97ba3 was feeling warm, 7efa73d8d0 and worried about 8b5c7ea7e1 my lunch.70f6b26070470cfc

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“I need to grab 22d5bebb13 the tickets, so can b27d1c6e66 you wait here for 8c074df6a9 a moment?”158351a339e3d8b1

As we entered the ae39a510e0 theater lobby, he asked 18293a5e3b in a nonchalant voice. I nodded without saying d33dbbdcfb a word. I watched 66b1fdaf46 him walk ad6573c11e to the 57e461ad40 ticket booth, 5a9843d789 feeling a 87b6a12357 little annoyed.860c16322c7aed23

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Was I being mistaken 2acb8a7c12 just because he was d5cd341a61 being nice to me? Was he merely 1295e44078 showing his good 2bc54b97a6 intention and taking 23619d7a7b care of a 786433cdf9 hoobae who was b9a4a16b27 taking the same 8987eb3807 class as him?60a64d459ee5a8f5

My mood took a 010b25064a nosedive.fe37990d59c53a5c

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“Excuse me.”80ef082ca7d7b8b0

I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even realize someone was next to me. It was a man in a black suit who looked to be in his early 30’s. He was tall and muscular, but he wasn’t better than Gong Mujin.f7b2ef3be9051de2

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“I’m sorry for not 5dadfd3e87 seeing you at the 69a9c92ba6 subway station exit earlier. I was in ef1620ca6e a hurry because b64df75f8e something urgent was 949d48bf81 going on, so 9f77bb8ea6 I didn’t see 6aff609792 you.”4763d3d8cec0064f

I think he was 50df3a6066 the guy who ran 8c43a183f2 into me a little 9c6e94beb2 while ago at the 58e0fdfb89 Hyehwa Station Exit 3.bf6cbb230d040d7c

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“Ah, yes. That’s okay.”7d7a975e59d3c5bc

I sprained e0bcb36c16 my ankle 1f27dd9582 for a c7413394fb moment, but bc65f0e26d it was ecae931e59 fine now.18952df60b2252e3

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“You almost fell. Are you okay?”25eb49f422eeb95c

“Yes, I’m fine.”8d935c90530e48ca

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I glanced at the e3a2b1e629 booth where Gong Mujin ad204dc42c was standing. He was receiving c8dc34b6c2 the tickets from 4783274e64 a window clerk.b58133ca41ff752f

“Here’s my business card. If you 43490abb6a ever need 506980f994 to go 829945a8f1 to the 964375f475 hospital, please d2d4300c40 contact me.”e3913ed0f45e5531

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The man kept repeating 7c63bf21b1 that he was truly 5c2b51d24b sorry. I cautiously accepted the ed2e4d0dea business card he handed 7d6ad0eef7 me. He was 6e8be3c597 a manager 5f2be292cd in the 69b001bd40 planning department dc6fc5b376 of a 76d5592527 large corporation 679313d004 that anyone 6c655c529a in Korea 57a3195c80 would recognize.6b4aeb362c577a6f

“If you feel 2069d64152 any discomfort at 84d11aab6f all, please contact 62c5389536 me.”96c4f4efab091567

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“Yes, I’ll contact you de0539d37f if that is the f039904739 case.”cc310751664b24d4

The man looked relieved d482e4174b when I told him 889b4b2c96 I’d contact him.f75c30a1bd32b183

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“What’s going on?”19eb1c1bd23de633

A familiar yet 6f47cd0c3c slightly unfamiliar voice 0a0a3fa386 suddenly interrupted us. I quickly turned my 44e4adc54d head towards the cold c20d4bde46 voice that sounded different 6e41dda2da from his usual tone. Gong Mujin f3358280bc glared at 57dbb696fc the man 63e95f6c80 with sharp e9eb46d186 eyes.c5878344f2643445

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A large hand ad44517a94 grabbed my wrist. His hand trembled as 353e7aedb9 it held my wrist. The tremor reached my 28d840cf5a heart in an instant.1d4474ca99e07bfa

He stood in aac48aba43 front of me 63c57d6a07 and approached the 28695e053f man menacingly.c9a02daf5eb26941

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“I think b3dcbfb1dd I pushed c5c8146ff4 your girlfriend 05385c2b8f at the 57e64c4d95 subway station 3f90154c7b exit earlier. I apologized and was 03549ec505 checking to see if 61835e0179 she felt any discomfort.”b3c5dc8e5da9dc36

Girlfriend, girlfriend, ab0f6112f0 girlfriend, girlfriend, a1984b73ae girlfriend, girlfriend, 6b84485b2e girlfriend, girlfriend, 032d08e83b girlfriend, girlfriend, c3769c91ad girlfriend, girlfriend, 1bdd48d4be girlfriend, girlfriend, eadcd98ff8 girlfriend, girlfriend…e8ff228655e70c2e

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The word that the c26b86b9b2 man uttered echoed without 9c2b214bcd end.345c204059940840

“You should have 81c1f5a34f apologized and checked a73d5765b8 with her earlier.”e7bf0d79d1143885

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“I apologize 26e5064797 to the d0ff2cef05 boyfriend as 421564cf0b well. I was in eabcf486f1 a hurry earlier 4dca4d3c08 because something urgent ac7465bbd8 came up… I d70305a5e0 saw her here a3b5358a72 by coincidence, so 5d8841aef0 I came here 8146d69285 to check on a6f1f0a593 her.”87a4e9a8e82989c0

Boyfriend, boyfriend, 3fc16d575d boyfriend, boyfriend, 486392d350 boyfriend, boyfriend, 61c0026290 boyfriend, boyfriend, d210a3aa01 boyfriend, boyfriend, 8a09f26f6c boyfriend, boyfriend, a6e32a5bdd boyfriend, boyfriend, 6650ac2322 boyfriend…6c826cf6ccf7e1d6

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The word the 41418f2aef man uttered echoed f83ccd06b4 again.1436e718afd0e246

“Do you feel 69e6d23c72 unwell somewhere?”7d971ef2759804c6

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He turned his 46acbb57f9 head and asked.a8f109ab897aab50

“I’m fine. I sprained my 2dc85905bd ankle earlier, but 59d96d86e9 it’s okay now. Like spraining it slightly fd2437d083 while walking in heels. It wasn’t much. It’s fine 98245202b8 now, look.”f7cd37c073cf9f16

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I pretended to walk e13ada1acb around, clicking my heels 00437719fd underneath my feet like 98e5c61da3 a robot.96e1ac950b21ac0d

He turned his head 80a0e00c4f to look down at fa55da6b70 me, and a faint d0bfedea4d smile appeared on his 2327c1b949 lips. He bit 91cd64dedf his lower e2aea2669e lip as 9b362d3393 if he a62bfd5aec were trying f436e07ecc to hold 6bb19483a0 in his d18044bb49 laughter.f433ab2617776516

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I caught a dbbdf9f270 glimpse of the 3776aedbcc man that was 9dd1294709 standing in front e02ca47412 of us. His face seemed to e6eb6c163c say, ‘Are they serious?’ 0018fb7e66 It seemed like he 9a7b8cc0f8 had completely misunderstood our 9b2b8af588 situation. I didn’t want 21925343f7 our relationship to 8724466cba be subtly influenced 20e7b97633 by someone else’s 2a44e382de words like this.135d010b617ffb36

“And this person isn’t 409882618f my boyfriend. I’m not his 9de452eab1 girlfriend either. I will contact 929b6a2973 you later if 64207fdb9f I’m feeling unwell. Thank you for e81e7b14d2 your concern. Goodbye.”aa9b1602c4f4284a

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I bowed as f559d05d20 if I were 2417aad4ea a customer service 5cdb6dd0c7 representative. The man’s face 90ee5ae6d1 twitched. Today, two men held 7cfa533ced back their laughter in 0e9b2ef432 front of me. I guess I b4a1f355dd have a knack 912b710d07 for making people e161348674 laugh at the f524aee14c most ridiculous moments. At this rate, f2ff033377 I should have 569e494c61 studied comedy instead d58804de7b of sociology.7cb0627777a1ff6e

The man seemed d75c564da9 to think it 4e45f70704 was now an 36c3f53945 appropriate time to 8ffff539b6 step away, so 789eb0d25f he bowed like c4037473f3 me and turned 59927ebccc around.21eda19512332cf5

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I looked up at 8e9753c818 the man who was 38e8cadf1f still holding my wrist.3c000d9d003b986b

“Did you get the f767e9b6b1 tickets?”73e749cf0df4b41f

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“Yeah.”bdc1c079d40b4585

A chill seemed 86158eefd0 to drip from 16a0339ec9 his answer. I don’t know fbfe0dbe7e why the temperature ac73810bec suddenly dropped so 8393eaafa1 much. Wasn’t he 8bc4048558 just trying 1c5afd2b1d to hold f0c8ff0d2d in his 5ab2d3eded laughter when 3410f73b5f I showed d8bb4e625f him how 79905a39bc I walked 75cb4a7fd5 step by 0c160c57e4 step?ccffd846c434f24b

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Suddenly, an announcement de77d4cc04 rang in the f45778719f air, indicating the 39fc889ac9 play would start c50b1cc3da in fifteen minutes.be27a9e742e9ddf1

“Let’s head inside.”51ccdf7b75abcc06

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His hand that had 94388ecc44 been holding my wrist ca1e42d692 pulled away. My wrist a87232a660 now felt 73fe72e0cc cold because 8d8fc2652c he had 4245e7c61a been holding a7df572b3f it so c035e724f3 tightly.11f3231d11371cc4

The play 6668deae27 ended at 2bd40ea661 10 PM. Late at night, the 41957d1dd4 Hyehwa Station area was eda1a3b995 packed with people pouring 71c4463548 out of the theater. As I was 69e5fca2e2 being pushed around, 352ffa3b12 a large hand ccde635a4b grabbed my shoulder.52b8705f220fd4e5

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“Come here.”848290999251bb4c

My heart throbbed 572f1b3065 at his low cd766bab49 whisper. He pulled my shoulders 76d4e7f158 into his large arms de88e1ab89 and hugged me. The temperature had dropped 1f7f67bfc9 significantly since. His body temperature 01bb560fde that was transmitting 25d1d44e17 through my collar fa0c31c983 was warm. He walked e42ed901af with my 46dd5cf676 shoulders in 70e3400983 his arms 130a347fa1 until we 9b77706207 reached a 2bcef5feab relatively quiet 37c871cfc7 alleyway.f18a7e40b3fa912d

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“Want me to catch 4aebb00f18 you a taxi?”d7aa315c56cc558c

He asked.bcbcfbe600bfb41d

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“Where do you live?”49068692188ddd02

Come to think b9a548651f of it, we c3934e4d9c didn’t even know 8bda6553d2 where the other 059e60039f person lived.83ccb36bb350f984

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“In Junggye-dong. I can 40075dffbc take Line 7362086ddb 4 and 0bca4e520d transfer to f6c7a5df2c a bus. Or I can 19a4cdb69a take a bus, 74ff969d04 but it will 19355ed06f go around for 1a39ba666e a bit.”a9e0439196cb68ce

“It’s late. Take a taxi.”25871eca94c5803b

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My breath caught. I couldn’t figure cbfa832d73 out what his 37a7da5490 concern meant.4698f25d593afc9e

Should I confess? He’ll probably 8f1e0a2149 reject me cb1f3865f6 too, right? But he’s being so 5fc92cec00 nice to me.8a5c3a08b4b15113

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A sigh escaped me ee14985729 as if the ground 607f3ec2f0 was collapsing underneath my 2a1fbd54aa feet.c572162d7a83984c

“What’s wrong?”d8d0b51f169fbb53

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He asked in 002f52058c a concerned voice.e4494e7e02a5785d

“I guess the theater 93f2dc0934 was a bit stuffy. I’ll walk 3f2f39bd38 around a 39d0296abc bit before a6d6905395 I go. Go home first. And give feee3cf312 me your 3f922eafc3 bank account f007c8cc8a number. I’ll send 5e435b18aa you the 4f2e993424 money for 7dab644a58 the ticket. Goodbye.”0f826a6214297807

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The moment I was 672445c7b6 about to take a d96baad054 step, he grabbed my 4314f4cde7 wrist.dfda9d7b86e71b96

“Where are you 6190de361e going to walk d7465cb47d at this time 90a75850c0 of night?”b4b55b0bc0f7c4a6

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“Well, there’s Naksan Park c0f3658796 right over there…”8a2c40fb7b571c44

“Fine, let’s go. Let’s go together.”dc2bfaa26d888951

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There was a hint e10cdfb0c0 of annoyance in his 5498eb1f55 tone. I grew irritated. I had no idea c92b6679e9 what was going on. He had a 7e79ada661 tendency to confuse 1dd327c6b9 people, acting like b1fa2bc3c5 he liked me 70a9527164 and then being 2c9ab54e50 indifferent a little 5e1f080c02 while later, and 593c4527da then being kind 655ec93e16 when I finally 27f7c75671 let go of 6406382072 my attachment.210de28e83fae6c2

We walked 6db6364fbd through Naksan 8592328eba Park in 19ecaf5852 silence. The night f5b7aef63c view of cd23a9c32b Seoul unfolded b3b945764f beneath the bf5dc3b35d city walls d307a841b3 that had 8e351d5cf2 been built 7ee5580272 hundreds of 65640d683e years ago. Due to my new be16aa287a shoes, my heels began c0a6e6b85c to hurt a bit. I felt my chest ad8e6bc334 sting for no particular e2259d4824 reason. My pace efae124b1e gradually slowed a1a0ab135d down.49e2526f237fe0f7

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“I heard every 0cd75282da human being wears ff33cdbb46 a mask.”97ffa3be3d4b4917

I looked down the f471ab0918 wall and spoke quietly. He listened without 1d103c7183 saying anything.38ef40797b6ad75b

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“It’s not 0bf31e2ab9 anything like 0a0ea9ab8a a mental c792d2224a illness or f15d20b57d some kind 3787b89ab8 of sickness, b25997d995 but there 4643755d04 are cases 4fb5d5a3f1 where people ab648ae104 unconsciously wear 42399fed63 masks in b57a8e22bd their daily cf15af5cf2 lives. A good student, 4257496595 a devoted housewife, 7dcc60b988 a hard worker… 7030c47037 But they say 3134ba9e7a these people are 9e581e0869 anxious that their 0adcd795be true selves hidden 6c62bfc17b behind the mask 4c3ada2d67 will be revealed.”c578c3a9e38c3338

“Willie wore a 4148d916e1 mask, too.”67189fe52e5348a3

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Willie was a 464640387a character in Death 1d4ee288a9 of a Salesman, 89dede7ee8 and Sunbae’s thoughts 58f760fe7e were in line 2d121e0185 with mine.14ff5fed7bc76312

“He wore the mask b5301df3a1 of a successful salesman cc7b1d8ba0 and forced his son 4a3d0961af to wear a mask 883004f257 too. He pretended to be dfcd2b904b well off, to be ddaa56cde8 okay.”31d9e64a86a23d46

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“When his incompetence was 11341060a5 revealed and he was 1a8fecbde7 fired, the mask was 043560ad07 taken away, so he aaf17d1127 chose death. He probably couldn’t bear 2502eef841 it. His anxiety became his 6c49a9403b reality.”8e2cb46703e97e5f

Same as me. I could feel 39e1c98053 my anxiety growing bc90dd6203 uncontrollably.5dd29c97bd9753d0

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“His son Biff was 9112dd1c67 the same way. He became crooked 398dc16bfe the moment his e0c1309b3f honest father’s mask ce943dedcc was removed. But maybe his own c09b84da23 mask of being a d012be4ab7 good student came off 6a139d6162 before then. Maybe that’s when 1cd1791ac4 things started going 761a7edfc5 wrong.”bf829dfecc5f3e8c

“I guess the moment c3a3f094b8 when a mask I 4e2ddab3e0 put on to become aba17b745c who I want to a6ce99c483 be is taken off, 14e202ef9c it’s just that scary.”a8146e5c45274e2a

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I took a 6db3103aff moment to catch 9bb5c2650c my breath and b9c5ce63d7 continued.6f95f08a368854b6

“I feel like 0df1b7c30b I have to 55701f9f9d do that scary 8e2c32f3f8 thing right now.”4787f75a4d6bcad6

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“Huh?”babf26ec1b68c385

He stopped walking 7233802a05 first. I also stopped following cf763e12b6 him. The eyes c007998404 that looked 1c0d7fe1fd down at cd41ff5b3d me were ed0922bda4 so dark c81abfde17 that I 38dc06ad30 couldn’t read 563c5111d1 the emotions 5eaab05c9b behind them.81b7856e5490881a

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“I’ve been wearing the 903f8209e9 mask of being a 842637681c good hoobae all this 70787a4e3f time. I’m not usually 846847bf07 that nice. I don’t do things 79d5f26d8d like buy a latte bf48818710 just because I’m taking 0b826a740f a class with a 924534aee7 sunbae whose phone number e16bc900df I don’t even know.”6469e64c4efa3628

I became even more 7abda6f3c0 anxious because there was 873f456437 no response. But I couldn’t take b25eaef54f back the words that 168acf51e2 had already been said.5acb8e921fefb8c4

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“I think I like cf9e280a7d you, Sunbae.”44c8e433596ff8d7