24ES | Chapter 4.2

Two were professors, one was his fellow Dr. Seol, and the fourth was technically not official: Park Joohyuk, a chief resident. Even so, the workload far outweighed the manpower, leaving Yesung drowning in responsibilities.

Despite everything, he kept going because he loved what he did. Yesung liked kids. They were pure, yet sometimes mischievously clever, throwing tantrums and refusing to listen. People often asked what he saw in them.

But to him, children were easier to deal with than calculating adults. They were the only ones who allowed him to let his guard down completely.

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Thinking about the kids, Yesung couldn’t help but smile faintly.

“…I need to sleep.”

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His body, screaming for rest, demanded he seize this rare moment to recharge. He sank deeper into the chair, ready to surrender to the waves of exhaustion when the door clicked open.

Click.

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Startled, Yesung lowered his arm and looked toward the sound.

“!”

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Standing there in surgical scrubs, fresh from the operating room, was none other than Jung Hageon. Their eyes met.

Creak. Click.

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The door closed behind him. In that instant, Yesung knew—there would be no sleep for him.

Clicking his tongue in frustration, Yesung glared openly. He needed rest to survive until his next off-duty period, but now that chance was gone.

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Even so, Hageon remained unfazed.

“Sunbae, can we talk for a moment?”

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From Jung Hageon’s perspective, it was finally his chance, while for Yesung, it was like being caught by the scruff of the neck. If it had been any other place, he might have bolted right away, but here, it was impossible.

In the end, they had to face each other. Yesung decided it was better to end the conversation quickly and salvage even one more minute of precious sleep time.

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After all, Jung Hageon must have known that Yesung had been avoiding him all this time. It would be strange if he didn’t know since Yesung would leave as soon as they met. Yet, knowing this and still acting this way meant that Jung Hageon was determined to talk, refusing to give up until he did.

“Okay. Fine. Let’s talk.”

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Jung Hageon was taken aback, his eyes widening in surprise that Yesung had agreed so readily to his proposal. Yesung, with his hand deep in his gown pocket, took the initiative.

“That day, you asked if I was gay, right? Yes, I am. So what?”

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“…What?”

Jung Hageon furrowed his brows at Yesung’s bold demeanor, clearly taken aback by the unexpected response.

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“What does my preference have to do with you?”

“That app… I know it as a random chat app. Only used by gays.”

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But Jung Hageon’s confusion didn’t last long. He quickly regained his composure, and his response, which mirrored Yesung’s, caused a crack in Yesung’s composure.

It was a question demanding a similar answer to the one Yesung had just given. Showing his irritation, Yesung, who thought he was being asked the same question again, saw Jung Hageon, usually so calm, hesitating before asking.

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“Sunbae, are you looking for a partner through that app?”

“What?”

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“Someone to satisfy your sexual desire?”

“Ha.”

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Yesung couldn’t help but let out a sarcastic laugh at how absurd it was that someone would be curious about such personal matters. If he heard Kang Baek-o’s old words again now, he would strongly agree.

“…Isn’t this guy really a lunatic?”

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The fact that he specifically used the English term for “sexual desire” was part of it. He wasn’t a foreigner who didn’t know Korean, nor was he a Korean-American with a somewhat awkward Korean language.

Was he trying to show off his intelligence, or was he flaunting being a doctor? Whatever the case, it was irritating. Yesung crumpled his face like paper. Even though Jung Hageon must have heard Yesung’s whispered curse, he maintained silence before muttering quietly.

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“There are perverts all over that app…”

The low voice was clearly meant for Yesung to hear, even if spoken softly in a space where only the two of them were present.

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“…Jung Hageon.”

“Yes, sunbae.”

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“You…!”

That damn ‘sunbae, sunbae.’ He remembered nothing about him, yet his shamelessness was impressive. Yesung felt like he would develop neurosis every time Jung Hageon called him ‘sunbae.’

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The moment he stopped himself from spitting out the insult that had risen to his throat, Yesung hardened his expression.

“Jung Hageon.”

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“Yes.”

“Are you the only one who finds it confusing why you’re doing this to me now?”

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Seeing Jung Hageon silent, mouth firmly shut, Yesung continued.

“I asked earlier. What does it have to do with you? All your words and actions, do you know how rude you’re being?”

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Yesung had avoided confronting Jung Hageon because the topics he wanted to discuss were too personal. Yesung had been exposed in areas he wanted to keep hidden, but regardless of his preferences, talking to someone who deliberately tried to delve into that part of his life was highly unpleasant. Jung Hageon seemed to understand this, choosing silence.

Yesung was already on edge from dealing with a problematic guardian before coming here, and he couldn’t control the anger boiling within him for the first time in a while.

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“And if you know about that app from just the notification on my phone, doesn’t that mean you’re into guys too? If you didn’t use the app, you wouldn’t know what the icon looks like. So what’s with the pretense of worry? We’ve only known each other for, what, less than two weeks?”

“Two weeks…”

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“Yeah, two weeks.”

Yesung drove the point home, then realized his mistake. Jung Hageon might have had a vague idea from their last encounter at the bar, but he had just clearly stated in front of him that he didn’t remember him.

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A shadow fell over Jung Hageon’s face as he looked down. At that gloomy demeanor, Yesung flinched but decided to push forward confidently since it had come to this.

“Are you doing this out of some sense of camaraderie because you like men too…?”

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“No.”

Jung Hageon cut off Yesung’s words mid-sentence, lifting his head. There was a resolute light in his eyes.

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His pitch-black eyes seemed even darker than before, stirring an odd anxiety in Yesung. He felt an inexplicable fear, reminiscent of the moment he met Jung Hageon’s gaze when he was asked if he was gay in front of the bar.

His pupils, blacker than graphite, gleamed smoothly. Yesung involuntarily stepped back, but Jung Hageon, unlike before, didn’t let Yesung escape.

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“It’s not camaraderie. I was happy.”

“…”

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“I was happy because sunbae likes men, because you have desires for men.”

Why… would that make him happy? Why? Yesung’s eyebrows twitched. Even though he showed clear signs of rejection, Jung Hageon didn’t stop.

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“Sunbae. I like you.”

The bombshell confession from Jung Hageon made Yesung’s eyes widen as if they might burst. Ripples spread across his dilated pupils.

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It was an unexpected confession. Yesung was at a loss, not understanding how things had led to this point.

He didn’t know what to say or how to respond. His mind went blank like a sheet of white paper.

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He never imagined that in just two weeks of knowing someone, he’d have his secrets exposed and then receive a confession. It was something he hadn’t even thought of in his dreams.

After a long silence, Yesung finally regained his senses, his lips trembling.

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He would have preferred if Jung Hageon’s excessive interest came from a sense of camaraderie or concern as a junior for his senior. He couldn’t believe his concern stemmed from that direction.

“…I’m sorry.”

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Should he have noticed when Jung Hageon’s gaze never left him while they sat across from each other at the bar? Or when their eyes met when he was asked if he was gay?

Those straight yet unfathomable black eyes. Now, thinking back, the emotion underlying that gaze was clearly joy.

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It was such a fleeting moment, clouded by alcohol and fatigue, that Yesung dismissed it as a misinterpretation. But apparently, it wasn’t a mistake.

Ruffling his bangs in agitation, Yesung took a breath, meeting Jung Hageon’s gaze.

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“I don’t know why or when you started to feel this way about me. I’m sorry. I can’t accept your feelings.”

Even though he didn’t know why or when Jung Hageon started liking him, he could tell that Jung Hageon’s feelings were sincere. Nothing in his tone, actions, or atmosphere suggested it was a jest.

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Jung Hageon might have expected Yesung to reject him. At Yesung’s firm voice, Jung Hageon lowered his head again.

Seeing his tightly clenched fists, Yesung swallowed a sigh internally.

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“So, you should stop. It would definitely be better for you if you give up here.”

Having said his piece, Yesung stood up from the chair. Sleeping here after Jung Hageon’s confession was out of the question; it was too awkward.

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Now they had to work together at the hospital, making things uncomfortable. If there was any wish, it was for Jung Hageon to give up on his feelings for him as soon as possible.

“Tsk.”

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Yesung clicked his tongue softly as he started to move. He should have gone to the pediatric surgery fellows’ on-call room from the start. Coming to the one nearest to the emergency room had led to this mess.

As Yesung passed by Jung Hageon to reach for the door handle, Jung Hageon’s voice, silent until now, came from behind.

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“…What if I can’t give up?”

“…What?”

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The low, resonant voice held Yesung’s feet. At such an absurd statement, Yesung turned around.

“!”

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Then he flinched. Meeting Jung Hageon’s black eyes, which were staring at him directly, Yesung couldn’t help but shiver.

Until moments ago, Jung Hageon clearly looked hurt by Yesung’s rejection, but now there was no sign of that on his face.

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Yesung swallowed dryly, feeling an ominous atmosphere settle between them. As Yesung instinctively clenched his fist, Jung Hageon spoke.

“Sunbae must have guessed, but I knew. That my confession would be sudden, that I would be rejected.”

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Meaning he confessed knowing he would be rejected. Jung Hageon continued in a calm voice.

“That’s why I can’t give up. I’m sorry, sunbae.”

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Jung Hageon bowed his head, saying sorry, and approached Yesung. As Yesung instinctively moved aside, Jung Hageon, now holding the door handle, locked eyes with him.

“I’ll leave. Get some rest, sunbae.”

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With that, Jung Hageon left the on-call room. Yesung, still standing in a daze, only snapped out of it when he heard the door close.

“Ah… damn.”

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A curse escaped Yesung’s lips as he hung his head. The wish that Jung Hageon would give up on his feelings for him as soon as possible seemed unlikely to come true.