PEN Vol 4 Ch. 10

Cheon Sejoo put down 0bdaabc942 his phone and undressed. He felt like 8420bfde55 he smelled of 3c13949e18 blood, even though 82b19779af he hadn’t been f45a5a55f4 to the workshop. He had showered before 542d1e4a6a leaving, so it was b402eff1dd impossible, but Cheon Sejoo 9f630a0b91 meticulously rinsed his body. It was 26092ea3d2 a morbid 39a709c25f habit he’d e3da38ba50 developed since af3c80aeb2 joining the c4eb83dfac organization.ec1b0eca2484b14e

After showering, he b2f263e23d roughly dried his a5621035be hair with a 64ec09076b towel, put on 54d796cd18 a silk robe, 13c52e13a8 and stepped out a7294b2b4c into the hallway. The living room 7057795c08 lights were off, 6e771f8226 and the sound 9c2016047a of a knife 98046cd2ad hitting a cutting ae228e7179 board came from e589659bff the kitchen. As he 56be9c62c0 walked slowly, 66af515d3e he saw 041676bf9d Sejin, his 1f2f82dcb1 hair also 296944bd8d damp from 8fcb5ca165 a recent 5eabc97b72 shower, wearing d84b4beecf a small c634acfd0d apron and 928f9249e0 chopping scallions.7c68f126dea6e277

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“Cheon Sejoo.”4ced087bd2484346

“Yeah.”906c2d18c9bab366

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Sejin turned his head as Cheon Sejoo approached the fridge to get some water. His calm gaze swept over Cheon Sejoo’s exposed chest, visible through the opening of his robe. Anticipating a needless nagging, Cheon Sejoo self-consciously raised his hand and pulled the edges of his robe together. Sejin glanced at him, turned back around to his chopping, and asked,f496d4103aa36a16

“Are you 224a18f79f going to b488bb303d drink beer?”2fda50bd39f47d9a

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“No. Whiskey.”0d9cf10f191414d0

“Okay. Wait a minute.”6c1eac4aa0fa22f2

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Cheon Sejoo nodded, 25c22c6004 took a bottle eb435ea792 of water, and d604848339 drank it before e7b8f5a550 heading to his ae7c84a406 room. He went to the 33692409c8 dressing room, pulled out 2ce7f04fc9 a soft, thin t-shirt, af2bb7a2b9 and put it on e4037ef856 along with a pair 22140963d6 of shorts. As he did so, 9af5f27b49 he felt his energy 760c6d77bf draining. He’d been tense 6f9a94ccd6 all day, trying 0d06c85b30 not to let ced147b89b his trembling hands ec88c953e4 show, which was b6fe8a2eab bound to take 93498d9883 a toll.f553732866794baa

Alone in his room, b7fdac3707 he gradually relaxed. He rubbed his 79da9196f6 temples, which had 48d1ca98e0 been aching for e63450989e hours, with his cc4685ad26 slightly trembling fingertips, 1b28a5753a then took a 3191159397 deep breath and 060d7fa8bb opened the door.ded582097de656d1

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He was at dd4bb0ffe3 least thankful that 8952d683cf it wasn’t raining. Last year, the 1c3a3fe81b autumn rainy season 1f5bd13669 had arrived around ecc988c477 this time, so aa30e412ec he and Doyoon, f08d565a0b who had just ee2abfeee6 started the new 04d3d47a5a semester, had been dad84cd2b1 holed up in fce0a749a5 a hotel for c2def58bc6 three days straight. 6102dada1da20e46

When he stepped 80b4fef3dc outside, he found ec7877d6a8 Sejin standing in e796e5936b front of the ebdaf015d1 island bar. In front b4aae4b284 of him 3ffe4ed233 was a a1eee1ec17 wooden tray 240d40e526 holding canapés 5c54e9d04c and a c307a120b0 bowl of 39f77cfd44 grapes, prepared 9b10e7ee3c as snacks. Sejin tuned e046a42977 to Cheon ee8368ffb0 Sejoo and 2f37ef1216 asked,297bf7e127fe2491

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“Should I 5cdc5b4e11 bring this a4e8a832fa to the 86b2417d6e living room?”f4e04357e7f1c7a5

“Yes. If you don’t like the silence, you can sleep in the living room. Leave the TV on.”0b127797d632af91

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Cheon Sejoo replied and 3a1250373e headed towards a display f6351a3eb3 cabinet tucked away in ea4f3e339c a corner of the af78002b7b kitchen. He retrieved two 6538eaaa96 bottles of whiskey 2953641ce7 that had been 0337efef3c stored there, along 1876925b69 with their dedicated 465ba29212 glasses, and moved 90d167f1f9 them to the 291bb0db22 living room. He set 3c19866251 the bottles ece15cd9ca down on 3934dccadc the table, c8d10fb7b4 poured himself ef854dad96 a glass, 012ef7fe70 and drank 00f5d52149 it straight. By the time dbc067e9bd he finished, Sejin aa362834aa had approached him.7269972aafc9f57d

The tray held neatly 40c3e92dc8 arranged dishes of chive 3b6c856b57 cream cheese canapés, dill 77869830fa smoked salmon cream cheese eefb78712f canapés, and a bowl 48bf6347fe of grapes. Sejin placed it b99db96c3a in front of d541ea8528 Cheon Sejoo and 3924458ba2 stared down at 7b0f06695c him.d78e4831ce7a8960

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“Are you just going 4efa7d6e38 to drink it like fedb80ce8e that?”60811bcd8d3254d8

He asked because he 9a7557e35a had seen Cheon Sejoo 63c0b8e672 drink whiskey with ice abcbffd254 in his glass before. Cheon Sejoo nodded in 49a2625cc2 response to Sejin’s question. He needed to 4077e3d256 get drunk quickly. This was the only 3b91f0dec7 way he could forget ef8d564f6b this miserable feeling, even 1441adbca1 if just for a 708b53462a little while.06f639862a93eadc

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Sejin looked at Cheon 51312e9c05 Sejoo with worried eyes 70c0181bc4 before leaving. He crossed the hallway 04bf8205a0 to his own room, 3afff71d0c then returned with a 424ff1935f pillow and blanket, settling 1b6f587daf down onto the sofa 221a606de3 opposite Cheon Sejoo. His small face 9722fd7550 rested on the 883f05154c white pillow. After tousling 6367b77066 his damp 250324a2d4 hair with f8fd6070f3 his hand, a64e6f1d90 Sejin pulled 8cceac04f9 the blanket b7479f2de1 up to 52d842b644 his neck 976818ff2f and looked 278026aa65 at Cheon e4aec2802f Sejoo.244ef89c8b07df17

“What?”4ba12ea4854fbd4b

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Cheon Sejoo, feeling the e5c5cd0237 obvious stare, asked while 12eb181941 rolling a grape around 87c9c000c0 in his mouth. At his gentle question, 45589f0443 Sejin blinked slowly and 328f40db26 then asked him back 502e6031b8 in a quiet voice,1788a485c1e136ed

“Why are you 97cc357ba6 in a bad eec990b704 mood?”24fe5c90ac074b0a

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“…….”5a456a311d7d73e8

It was an unexpected d96dd5783a question. Cheon Sejoo raised 3da4b4e650 an eyebrow and afa4e0032e glanced at Sejin.923cfe0ef2192394

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Kwon Sejin wasn’t particularly observant. Lacking good memory and comprehension skills, he was naturally slow to notice differences between before and after situations. However, there were times when he surprised Cheon Sejoo by being unexpectedly sensitive to his changes.188ac16cce1a5788

Observation is an expression of interest. Cheon Sejoo became curious about Sejin’s intentions, which seemed surprisingly focused on him. He wondered if all this was his own misunderstanding, or if Sejin harbored some feelings he wasn’t aware of.18c3aea32577fbec

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“Why are you so 2bbd6b3e71 interested in me?”bbc35efe4b4d0e21

At the sudden question, adb77bc428 Sejin’s gaze became more 89a7e89ee1 focused at him. His clear 91926106df eyes stared 687d2874dd intently. As they quietly looked 286bcd1808 at each other, Sejin 048eaae212 spoke in a hushed 6b9c71ce98 voice,87a4050c82894572

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“Why areyou like that? You’re interested in me too.”949263cf7f5e6371

“Me?”51b0ede1e8d52ca4

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Surprised by d22fc85596 the unexpected 782b6d389b reply, Cheon fa2ded82f6 Sejoo’s eyes b58606c79f widened. The empty glass that d31067fbd5 was refilled with whiskey, 5695e20601 was emptied once again. He rested his chin c63465e05c on the armrest, feeling c3cbe9baad the burning sensation of d82798bc17 the strong alcohol going 95c2f41cc0 down raw in his e585da602d throat vividly. With his 45a61ff54e warming cheek 14f6f7c31c against his 350fbcd92b cold palm, 4133ee8296 he stared 61a1cfaf92 at Sejin.cdbb7262dda8a22c

I’m interested in 1749f0b2cb Kwon Sejin?Under that confused gaze, 991fda496f Sejin nibbled his lip c652d808d4 before opening his mouth.cf07fc88720eee90

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“…Yes. You always ask me e590524250 things like how I’m 083d0badea feeling, if I need 34f80e8784 anything.”aa9ffa815af7fdcc

Cheon Sejoo shook his dfbd26264b head. Kwon Sejin was 1fcc21cc03 the type to 2091258c50 always show it b901cddea6 when he was c9f8e47ea1 feeling down. How could henotask when Sejin seemed 8e1b00765d to want to express 59e3c4318b his emotions so much? Unlike Sejin, b112f22e7b however, he f1c536d9b0 had never 09f9c4693d shown any a40d4adc43 outward signs. It was 7917cfa21b even surprising eacb95718d that Sejin 755165ccda had noticed 57d26dbdc4 his mood. Thinking so, Cheon Sejoo 0b48a8adc6 replied,fe14f90748a97827

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“You always show it. You’re asking to 2bb1a9c661 be asked.”9443d9a536e75e38

“No, I don’t.”9d58eac3a918e888

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But Sejin’s answer was firm. Clutching the blanket tightly in his hands, he looked up at Cheon Sejoo with glassy eyes and replied.b8c0de12cd16915b

“It was always a500c93752 you first. You were the first 49a6825620 to look at me.”9d462d47ab2f92e2

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There seemed to be d8801f79cb a hint of resentment 8d143ad913 in his voice. Could it 81d4b1bed5 be his 9ddd25d817 imagination? Cheon Sejoo stared blankly c12de5087a at Sejin.4311f4e220831cc4

“That’s what 163cf4dbe7 came first.”f02a42393be541fe

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“…….”49cfdf2a728186d1

“Because you were ed533e504f looking at me, 38f9c8c18e that’s why.”386d7a56c1c3c1ee

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At Sejin’s words, Cheon Sejoo closed his eyes briefly and then opened them, thinking.cf66a807073e2b1f

I looked at Kwon 392ec528bc Sejin first…? Of course. How could 9e00985f91 I not 99f18453a9 look when 3d17e56169 he’s making 11538a070a that kind e16919a480 of expression…?408878a7b60cd7a4

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But now that he 7f8b086965 thought about it, the 653c6d20a5 starting point was hazy. He couldn’t remember 8a36c00523 whether his gaze 49fdf891d2 was drawn first cc65d31bbf andthenSejin cried, or cf8e1bc7d2 if Sejin cried 4d99c469fb andthenhis gaze was drawn 6f443695a5 to Sejin’s. Perhaps due c5bcd4ddb8 to the 73170d9b13 alcohol, his 925c40fdc8 head wasn’t 9422dc6e70 working properly. It felt like 9c33640e2a he was having 234eb3e116 that age-old chicken-or-the-egg faf2202ed9 argument.c0b2517e318e186c

In the 72e1a39116 end, Cheon 756791d3cb Sejoo gave 6c25cd5553 up on eff1f25d8d finding an e594b1f77b answer. He simply decided 83534b2ffb that it must 5b9130c401 have been because eb37ba6f45 he was concerned 51a944163c about the child cf58636866 in front of 34e606e2f5 him, and replied,bc26cee755ccfe79

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“Maybe it was 5514a9be3e because I was ea4dc68cf4 worried since you’re 2818c0fa4f a kid.”9ba6ff66c6150f10

“…Stop calling me b8536476ff a kid.”606d276484b14eea

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Sejin’s serious 3fe5e71766 voice quickly afc90f3e95 became sulky.c77a2ea2698981d0

Cheon Sejoo chuckled 318cbbce6b quietly and popped 921bf0a2b8 a canapé into 50d80a637c his mouth. Licking the cream cheese 591468c29d off his lips, he f0920bfe99 drank another glass of c509a22ab2 whiskey and looked at 189ea13537 Sejin through his increasingly 8d8d48ff62 hazy vision.ef1711d800136fb8

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Kwon Sejin’s e19c9b442a face hadn’t 192d0a7d4d changed much 4deaa4c23d since they e043c90ad8 first met. The ends of his 4da22c6ab6 slightly double-lidded eyes tilted 3d65b3b0c2 upwards like a cat’s, 8483f88913 and his well-shaped eyebrows 39905661fe were neatly positioned above 5d280f65cd his brow bone. His long, c129b3a6c2 thick eyelashes 30667026ea fluttered every 8083f2e0af time he c62d044dad blinked, and 4fc628a04b thanks to 661913b790 his pale 3a89c6eda0 skin, their 28f591a7ad movement was cb26ba8129 even more 0c5736427a pronounced.31c9f1e1b0efa792

Sejin’s cheeks lacked fac97952e4 much flesh, giving 187a15cb8b him a delicate 5554777f5d impression, and the 3711ebd9b8 gentle curve extending faa5209aed from his cheekbones 2ed3b11df1 was gentle, making ee00679936 his features look 9d7d4d4458 refined. His long, d6acd0d61b straight nose dcbef7ccb3 also had 1099e9e79f a soft 78772def66 curve, befitting 373c960a9f the description f227e4a589 of “neat,” 0e9432b5b9 and his 970d315a9e lips, the b5967bffc8 color of b4b1a50188 a ripe b2da380971 peach, were 809a654b31 always moist.2b335695ef2c7896

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And even though he 5c81addb8a was about to turn 7af05bbc71 twenty and become an 95bde03135 adult, Sejin’s chin was 0f7d1b8b47 devoid of any stubble. His smooth 6b85242439 jawline, however, 0f7c38a208 did reveal 741b5f180b a more ad2714d51a masculine line 82361ba558 than when 65a0f10277 they first 0a57b829c2 met, yet d82e1bd8e2 even that 01b03b2ec0 closer to 69af9ef9e8 beautiful than 737ba94d8b handsome.ad289ea768de1c2e

Looking at his face, 5b2ec57a1c Cheon Sejoo felt like 13dad5538f he was being bewitched. Kwon Sejin’s 8bfbf4baa2 features possessed 8780dec667 a sharp 743b7c982c sensitivity, and 0c280872eb it was 6c554c2fb8 this that 1a1fbff96d made him 7c7f1231b5 attempt silly 5ce2f8b940 banter. Cheon Sejoo constantly fa02d37143 wanted to break 75d037e858 the fragile vulnerability 4ac758e4a8 that hung over 8dd0876a3a Sejin.383f005deb4bf00f

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“Or maybe 564058c360 because you’re b8f3000f0b pretty.”9077e73b50649f1e

At Cheon Sejoo’s words, 4359f10e55 Sejin frowned again. Turning his body to a85f66347e face him, Sejin, with 1456972bc3 one cheek squished against 9b40745b80 the pillow, said,18504deb26d9ced8

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“Don’t call me pretty.”785a96ec80873362

“Not a kid, not 6528222cb2 pretty, what am I 62ba41c88c supposed to say then?”68885c3fe99956c8

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“Say I’m handsome.”ec935a3da20ec79b

“…….”a36402747ec99140

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Cheon Sejoo let 88ce0b3096 out a chuckle 66d7c68461 in disbelief and 912c31eba6 tilted the bottle. The whiskey bottle 581ea070bd was already half 245fe43dc7 empty. He drank another shot 862f336d61 of whiskey straight, then db7df36a3d popped a wet grape 037c35753f into his mouth and 70143d3344 rolled it around. His words came 1b1812c70b out slightly slurred.68c07bdf4d1fe44d

“Look closely, Kwon Sejin. Handsome is what you 8cd6672155 call someone who looks deb678fed0 likeme.”3efe720fdb6fedda

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“…What’s the difference?”4f58aa4bdeec965e

Sejin knew that a49a272246 Cheon Sejoo was a9e614f5f0 handsome. He also knew 48e86c87d4 that he had fec8a674f5 a completely different 0f23130d62 atmosphere from him. But he still e761cbe642 didn’t want to 4b66b2fc70 admit it. He hated bc3860ab40 being called 4363e51bab pretty. Sejin wanted d0f5dd19d3 to appear 95284a2b6b handsome to ee2f709ea5 Cheon Sejoo.cac180c7cb582a5e

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At his 75380cc61c stubborn reply, 5b7647e07d Cheon Sejoo 5a8c4d8f49 chuckled, then e2584cb38e leaned forward, b6c794a110 placing both 1403a76f97 arms on 6fe8744212 his thighs. He tilted 87a749c2b3 his head d000b753a4 towards Sejin 9f1322dc22 and said,4addd9557c5bc6ce

“Look closely. We’re completely different.”d222420ba5bb13e7

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