INT Ch 8.1
by mimiHaewon had never maintained a steady relationship with one person for over half a year. After a few nights together, the tension in the relationship would fade, and the more time he spent with someone, the more the illusions and expectations he held would disappear. He would no longer find the other person intriguing. The period in which one typically grows tired of a relationship came to Haewon much faster than average.
Because of this, he only maintained light relationships, such as with Kim Jaemin, who would soon return to the U.S., or with senior Choi, who stayed on the other side of an invisible boundary without coming closer. He had never continuously dated one person.
Haewon thought of himself as someone who quickly grew bored and lacked patience. Aside from the violin, he had never been consistent with anything and would lose interest in things quickly, especially people.
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The idea of sustaining feelings of excitement or attraction for several months was unimaginable—except when it came to Hyun Woojin. Perhaps it was because he was someone Haewon couldn’t see often due to his busy schedule, or because he had never made superficial expressions of affection like “I like you” or “I love you.” Or maybe it was because he never tried to win him over with expensive gifts. Whatever the reason, Haewon treated Hyun Woojin like a fish that swam around the bait but never bit, no matter how hard he tried to catch it.
The fish he wanted to catch was beautiful in form and color, making him salivate as he imagined all the ways he could enjoy it—grilled, stir-fried, or deep-fried.
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Haewon was well aware of the growing anxiety he felt toward his feelings for Woojin. Woojin, who remained unshaken once he reached a certain point, was so different from him that Haewon sometimes wanted to grab him by the collar and demand an exact measure of how much he liked him.
His phone rang, and he searched his jacket pocket. It was Hyun Woojin.
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“Hello?”
“Turn around.”
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Haewon, who had just left the concert hall, turned around. He saw Woojin’s car and got in.
As always, Woojin placed Haewon’s violin in the back seat. Haewon had thought it was the same car that had been repaired after his minor collision with Lee Jinyeong, but he recently found out that Woojin had replaced it with a new car of the same make and color. Upon learning this, Haewon noticed subtle differences in the interface and the exterior design compared to the old car.
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Whenever he saw it, he found it odd. If it had been him, he would have chosen a completely different color and model—because sameness was boring. He would have bought something different to enjoy a new experience.
“If it were me, I would’ve gone with a different car.”
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“It’s my car, so I’ll do what I want.”
“Don’t you get tired of the same thing?”
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“I prefer comfort over convenience.”
Woojin stepped on the accelerator, and the car surged forward. Haewon glanced at him, curious about what he meant. Sensing his gaze, Woojin explained while keeping his eyes on the road.
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“When you change cars, it takes time to get used to new buttons and functions. I’d rather spend that time doing something else. I like things as they are. That’s what’s comfortable.”
“You really are like an old man. Is it about saving time, or are you just lazy?”
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“Both. When you were flirting with your piano teacher at seventeen, I was rolling around in the military.”
“So, when I was seventeen, Hyun Woojin was a soldier.”
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Haewon felt the six-year age gap between them in practical terms. When he was in middle school, Woojin was in college; when he was a senior in high school, Woojin had already graduated. By the time Haewon entered college, Woojin was in law school. And when Woojin joined the prosecutor’s office and got engaged, Haewon was turning off the lights in the practice room and having sex behind a grand piano with a teaching assistant whose name he didn’t even remember. He couldn’t blame Woojin. At least for him, he had no right to.
“When did you graduate?”
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“When did you start?”
After Haewon told him the year he entered college, Woojin mentioned the year he graduated. Woojin had returned from military service during Haewon’s first year, and for one year, their lives overlapped without either knowing of the other’s existence.
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Woojin had walked where Haewon walked, eaten the same meals at the same places, shared the same campus spaces—the same fields, the same library—without ever meeting.
For some reason, this realization made Haewon feel proud. It made his time at school seem worthwhile. He wished he could have seen Woojin as a student. If such a senior had been around, he might have been more diligent—never missing a drinking party, joining clubs, and participating in frivolous festivals, all to catch his eye.
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“You really were my senior.”
Imagining a younger, fresher version of Woojin, Haewon looked at the man who now had little to do with youthfulness. His seasoned demeanor and sharp intellect flowed from his forehead down the bridge of his nose.
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“There’s no way I wouldn’t have noticed you. You didn’t go to school, did you?”
He reached out to touch Haewon’s cheek and then took his hand in his own. Unlike before, Haewon no longer avoided his touch. Now, it had become a habit to hold his hand whenever getting into the car. Smiling toward the warmth that enveloped his hand, Haewon felt content.
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What mattered was the present. Not every day needed to be a revolution. Haewon, who once thought such small things could never be enough, found himself surprised by his own change. With Hyun Woojin, just holding hands was enough. Just holding hands made his heart flutter.
“I never skipped school, no matter what. I still go now, too.”
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“You still go?”
He asked curiously. Haewon replied casually.
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“My professor gives me lessons.”
“A professor giving private lessons? Article 2 of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act and Article 2 of the Higher Education Act prohibit instructors affiliated with established schools from providing private tutoring.”
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He took it seriously, even citing the law, making Haewon chuckle in disbelief.
“He doesn’t charge me. He just helps me out.”
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“Just helps you out?”
His skeptical gaze turned toward Haewon.
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“He’s been helping me since before I got into the arts school. He even introduced me to the violin dealer. You know, you can’t just buy something like that even if you have the money, right?”
A masterpiece violin isn’t something anyone can purchase simply by having money. Only those deemed qualified are either loaned or allowed to buy it. Without the professor’s active involvement, Haewon would never have been able to own such a fine instrument.
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Though he never particularly praised or showed favoritism toward Haewon, the professor had always been most concerned about him quitting music out of disinterest. Recognizing Haewon’s talent, the professor had supported him all this time. However, Hyun Woojin didn’t seem to share that sentiment. His lips twisted into a slight sneer.
“Maybe it’s not lessons. Maybe he just enjoys watching you play.”
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“That’s how people like you see it. Why would he want to watch me in particular when all he sees all day is kids practicing?”
He wasn’t someone with that much free time or leisure. Hyun Woojin, who often seemed to think he was the busiest person in the world, made an absurd remark.
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“Maybe he touches you here and there under the guise of correcting your posture, and when you feel uncomfortable, he brushes it off as you being overly sensitive.”
“What are you even talking about?”
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“Maybe he’s satisfying minor urges by subtly getting close to you.”
“Why are you twisting things like this? Does everyone look like a criminal to you?”
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Haewon was certain he would have noticed if that were the case. He had never looked at the professor that way nor felt anything inappropriate from him.
For musicians, pain in specific areas was almost chronic. If Haewon mentioned a headache, the professor might massage his scalp. If his shoulders hurt, the professor might press the sore spots like acupressure. Yet, there was never any sense of ulterior motives.
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By now, the street had grown dark, and the streetlights flickered on. His car stopped in the parking lot of a Japanese restaurant. They got out and entered the restaurant.
They were led to a seat divided by walls, with chairs that had backrests but required sitting cross-legged. Not accustomed to sitting cross-legged, Haewon found it uncomfortable. This was why he disliked such dining styles.
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Haewon stretched his legs out. His toes lightly touched Hyun Woojin’s calves. As Haewon wiped his hands with a wet towel, he noticed Hyun Woojin glancing down under the table and then looking back at him.
“Sitting cross-legged is hard.”
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Casually, Haewon placed his foot over Hyun Woojin’s ankle and slid it up, his toes brushing against the hem of his pants. Just as his toes crept higher, the door slid open, and a staff member entered.
While Hyun Woojin ordered, Haewon mischievously stretched out further, brushing against his leg under the table. The staff member, face slightly flushed for no apparent reason, smiled awkwardly before leaving. Only then did Hyun Woojin firmly push Haewon’s foot away. Haewon adjusted his posture.
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“You really can’t sit still for even a moment.”
“You’re twisting things about my professor just because I can’t sit still? That’s ridiculous. My professor isn’t that kind of person.”
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Haewon returned to their earlier conversation in the car. Hyun Woojin poured himself water and sipped, his gaze meeting Haewon’s.
“I know someone similar. When a student complains, they label the student as overly sensitive or strange. They subtly suggest the student was the one who provoked them by wearing provocative clothes, flipping the victim into the perpetrator. Eventually, the student suffers from rumors, drops out of school, and, in the worst cases, ends up needing psychiatric treatment.”
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“What a terrible person. What happened to them?”
Given his line of work, Hyun Woojin was used to dealing with criminals. His worldview was grim, shaped by his job. Whether this cold cynicism was innate or developed through his work, it influenced how he viewed people.
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“Thankfully, there were many victims and their testimonies were consistent, so we managed to indict him. He was brought to trial, but he was acquitted. Then came an order from above not to appeal. He was a relative of someone in a high position. That bastard went back to the school and started doing the same thing, only more cleverly.”
The frustration of seeing someone acquitted after struggling to prosecute them must be one of the most disheartening experiences for a prosecutor. Fortunately, he seemed accustomed to interference from power beyond reason and logic. He neither felt particularly dejected nor outraged.
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As he spoke calmly, the food was served. The table was neatly set with assorted sashimi, soba noodles, beef tartare, sushi, abalone porridge, and other dishes.
He fell silent for a moment. The employee who served the dishes bowed and left. He picked a piece of sashimi and placed it on Haewon’s plate, seasoning it with just the right amount of wasabi and soy sauce, as if to show the best way to enjoy it. Haewon followed his lead and put it in his mouth. The chewy texture and mild flavor filled his palate.
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“So you just let it go?”
“Charging someone with a crime doesn’t always work.”
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“What do you mean? Are you doing philosophy instead of catching criminals?”
“I made sure there were no more orders.”
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It was a cryptic statement. Haewon stared at him, puzzled, until he added more.
“The fastest solution is to ensure that the person in power can’t interfere anymore. I leaked rumors, prodded a journalist I knew to raise suspicions, and because it was around nomination season, he lost his chance at being nominated. After that, I took the bastard I had set aside and put him back on the case. Now that bastard is in prison.”
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“What crime did the person in power commit?”
“They interfered with my work.”
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“…Is that even a crime?”
“Abuse of authority.”
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Was that really acceptable? It sounded like he had ruined someone else to get to a specific target. No, it seemed he removed obstacles in his path to capture someone he truly wanted to catch.
“He probably got an extended sentence, seven years, I think. He’s been serving for three years now. Got sick and died. Something bad—I forget what.”
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As if it were no longer worth remembering, he tilted his head slightly and spoke indifferently.
“Karma.”
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“Karma? More like bad luck. The bastard just happened to cross paths with me.”
He shoved another piece of sashimi into his mouth and chewed. His jaw muscles moved as he chewed the flesh. He wasn’t someone who couldn’t tolerate injustice or had a fiery sense of righteousness. From the way he handled Haewon’s father, it was clear he had a certain flexibility when it came to dealing with crimes. He probably couldn’t tolerate having his work obstructed.
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Dealing with people far from ordinary, Haewon often felt he couldn’t understand his way of thinking. There were moments when Haewon realized he wasn’t conventional—like now. Instead of adding to the conversation, Haewon simply picked up the sashimi he placed on his plate and ate it.
Under the dark bridge along the Han River, not even an ant was in sight. In the darkness, Hyun Woojin suddenly reclined Haewon’s seat. Haewon’s heart skipped a beat. The man leaned over, pressing their lips together, and Haewon reached out to embrace his shoulders.
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Closing his eyes, Haewon took in his breaths, the warmth of his lips, and his scent. As their tongues intertwined, Haewon pressed his own against his, letting out a faint moan through their parted lips.
After a long kiss, he pulled back. Haewon’s trembling tongue followed, licking his lower lip. In the darkness, their eyes met.
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“Should I investigate that professor too?”
“…Stop saying ridiculous things.”
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In a low tone, as if proposing some sort of deal, he spoke. Haewon instinctively furrowed his brow. They kissed again, their upper bodies entangled.
Haewon ran his hands along his back after he had removed his jacket. The contours of his back, covered by a dress shirt, felt firm. Hyun Woojin’s hand slid between Haewon’s knees, stroking his thigh and moving inward. Haewon brought his hands forward, touching him below.
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Their breaths grew heated in an instant. Struggling to catch their erratic breathing, he pulled Haewon’s shirt up. Raising it to his neck, he kissed Haewon’s exposed chest.
“Haah…”
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His warm lips brushed against his chest and started to tease his nipples with his tongue. Haewon tightly grasped his hair, stroking the back of his head with one hand while muffling his mouth with the other.
Though it was just the two of them in the car, and there wasn’t a soul in sight in the secluded area, Haewon couldn’t help but feel cautious about letting his voice slip.
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After lingering on his chest for some time, he raised his head. Beneath his tousled hair, sharp eyes gleamed. The look in his eyes sent chills down Haewon’s spine. Those piercing black eyes seemed to bore into his core. For some reason, whenever Haewon looked into his eyes, he was reminded of the dark forest surrounding Kim Jeonggeun’s villa in Yangpyeong.
Haewon stroked his eyes. When his hand touched him, Hyun Woojin closed his eyes. He traced the shape of his eyelids and brushed along his eyebrows, confirming through his fingertips that these were human eyes, not those of a predator hungrily eyeing its prey.
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Hyun Woojin slowly opened his eyes.
“Do it with your hand.”
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Haewon unbuckled his belt and pulled down the zipper of his pants, slipping his hand inside. Hyun Woojin leaned his forehead against Haewon’s. His slightly parted lips, flushed red, exhaled hot breaths that were close enough to feel.
Haewon ran his hand over the heated, sticky flesh. His hardened length stood firm, and Haewon pressed keenly against its sensitive edges. Their foreheads separated as Haewon looked up at him dazedly, licking his wet lips.
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“Turn around.”
Hyun Woojin, his endurance being tested, demanded in a low voice—a command, not a request. Haewon turned his body, kneeling on the seat and gripping the backrest. Hyun Woojin pulled down Haewon’s pants and tugged his underwear to the side.
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The weather was still too cool to use air conditioning, and the car was hot and humid with the combined heat of their bodies. Hyun Woojin pulled Haewon’s shirt up, exposing his back. It was a state of undress that was neither fully naked nor fully clothed.
After wetting the area with saliva, Hyun Woojin pushed himself inside. The scorching sensation of his presence overwhelmed Haewon.
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“Ugh…!”
Haewon bit his lip. The weight pressing down on him made it feel like his body would collapse. His trembling arms barely supported him. Hyun Woojin thrust into him forcefully and rapidly, asserting dominance as he controlled the situation and his lust with a strong, deliberate intensity. The disparity between the man who gently held Haewon’s hand while driving and the man gripping his hair and thrusting powerfully into him left Haewon’s chest quivering with fragile excitement.
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“Ah!”
Haewon’s head tilted back as if his neck might snap. Hyun Woojin adjusted his position, turning Haewon’s head and kissing him deeply. His tongue plunged into Haewon’s mouth, relentless and invasive. Haewon opened his lips wider to press against his tongue.
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The movements grew fiercer, their lower bodies colliding with escalating pleasure. Hyun Woojin’s breathing grew ragged. Overwhelmed by the heat radiating from his bare back, Haewon’s mind blurred. High-pitched moans escaped from his throat.
Stop, stop, it hurts, don’t do it, please stop.
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Haewon pleaded. His underwear, stretched nearly to tearing, and the wet sound of flesh slapping against flesh filled the car. Hyun Woojin leaned over, pressing his chest against Haewon’s sweat-drenched back, their bodies moving together. He paused for a moment, withdrawing his heated length, and released over Haewon’s bare back and buttocks. His labored breathing spilled out alongside the hot fluid that dripped down Haewon’s skin.
“Haah, haah…”
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Haewon curled up weakly, his body exhausted. His arms refused to hold him up any longer. Hyun Woojin rolled down a window, allowing fresh air to sweep in. The sudden chill raised goosebumps on Haewon’s exposed skin.
The cool breeze gradually brought him back to his senses. As Hyun Woojin adjusted his clothes and returned to the driver’s seat, Haewon slowly straightened up, hot fluid trickling down his skin.
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“Tissue.”
It took all his strength to form the word. Hyun Woojin opened the dashboard, pulling out tissues to wipe down Haewon’s back and between his buttocks. Haewon knelt in place, slightly spreading his legs as Hyun Woojin carefully cleaned him.
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Hyun Woojin deliberately took his time, wiping between the creases of Haewon’s skin. Haewon shuddered. Finally, Hyun Woojin ran the tissue up Haewon’s lower back and over his hips. Haewon adjusted his disheveled clothes, pulling down his shirt and fixing his underwear and pants. After sitting properly and raising the backrest, he turned to look at Hyun Woojin.
The breeze entering through the open window cooled Hyun Woojin’s sweat and body heat. He sat emotionless, as if nothing had just occurred. Once the air had fully circulated, he closed the window. The sound of the river and the wind disappeared, leaving a quiet stillness.
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“I’ll take you home.”
“Are you heading back to the prosecutor’s office tonight?”
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“I left in the middle of reviewing a case. I’m on duty until midnight, so I can’t leave.”
“Can I hang out with you there?”
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Hyun Woojin shifted gears, and the car rolled backward. After reversing a suitable distance, he braked and shifted into drive, pulling forward. The bridge where they had shared their moment receded in the rearview mirror.
“How far are you planning to follow me around and interrupt? Do you have any idea how much time you make me waste?”
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Hyun Woojin sometimes spoke in a way that annoyed Haewon. Haewon glared at him irritably.
“Did I ask to meet up?”
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“Right, I’m the one who asked to meet.”
While Haewon occasionally begged for attention, today it was Hyun Woojin who called first and suggested having dinner. After dinner, it had become almost routine for them to end up in a car or at the officetel, blending their bodies like it was the natural next step.
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It wasn’t something that could be over and done with in ten minutes. Time slipped away as they touched and felt each other, often stretching to two or three hours before they knew it, and even then, it sometimes felt too short. Seeing him leave abruptly afterward left Haewon feeling unsatisfied, but his complaints about wasting time because of Haewon annoyed him even more.
“Do you want to hang out?”
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“No, thanks, mister.”
Haewon coldly rejected the insincere invitation from him.
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∞ ∞ ∞
“Don’t lie. How can you not have summer vacation?”
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― I really don’t. It’s not a good time to take a break.
“Are you coming here just to sleep? What, is my officetel some kind of hotel? Or are you just coming to satisfy your sexual needs?”
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Haewon finally blurted out the words he’d been suppressing. That’s exactly how it seemed. Whenever Haewon suggested a nice dinner outside, Hyun Woojin would decline, saying he was too busy. When Haewon proposed a trip, he claimed he couldn’t because he had no vacation. Yet, despite his supposed busyness, he had no problem slipping into Haewon’s officetel late at night and leaving early in the morning like clockwork.
Haewon stayed up late just to see him. But it wasn’t like Hyun Woojin came every night. He only showed up when it suited him. Meanwhile, Haewon, no longer a freelancing musician but now a full-time orchestra member, struggled to wake up every morning due to the habit of staying up late waiting for him.
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While Haewon made all these efforts, Hyun Woojin dismissed his concerns with work-related excuses, acting as though he were the only prosecutor out of the 2,000 in the country who was swamped with cases.
― If I just wanted to satisfy lust, I wouldn’t bother going all the way there. If I really only needed sleep, I’d stay at my place.
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“Then I’ll just go on my own.”
― Don’t go.
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“…”
Haewon’s determination to take a summer trip alone was met with Hyun Woojin’s soft voice, stopping him. He was the kind of man who made Haewon simultaneously want to hit him, hug him, push him away, and pull him close.
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― Don’t go anywhere. Just stay there.
“So I’m supposed to wait obediently in bed for when you feel like it? Not going anywhere, stuck at home every day?”
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― I told you it’s not about wanting to. I just want to see you. Don’t go anywhere.
“…”
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― Once this special investigation wraps up, I’ll really make time.
“When? This winter?”
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― …
His silence was answer enough. He couldn’t guarantee even that. Haewon muttered under his breath in frustration, resigning himself to the idea that going somewhere with Hyun Woojin was only half a dream.
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It wasn’t out of spite or jealousy, nor did he want to complain to someone who said they couldn’t bear to be apart because they’d miss him too much. Haewon’s sharp emotions softened, and his heart swelled. Hyun Woojin was a master of emotional manipulation. Haewon could never seem to outmaneuver him. No matter how upset he got, a few well-placed words from Hyun Woojin would miraculously dissolve his anger.
Not that Hyun Woojin made any effort to appease people. He did as he pleased, yet somehow had the skill to win over Haewon, one of the most stubbornly selfish people around.
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Determined to keep up his annoyance, Haewon found himself melting into a reluctant smile at Hyun Woojin’s words.
“This winter, let’s really go to a ski resort. You have to take breaks to work well. Do you even know how to ski?”
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― How would someone afraid of hand injuries drive a car, let alone ski?
“You can wear gloves.”
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Haewon pictured him skiing down a white slope. The image alone filled him with pride.
“…Did you have dinner?”
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― A sandwich.
“That’s it? You’ll wear yourself out at this rate.”
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― I have to go into a meeting. Let’s hang up.
“Okay… um.”
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Before Haewon could even open his mouth to say something, the call ended abruptly. This time, he really wanted to punch him. Hyun Woojin always knew how to mess with his emotions. Haewon stared at the unfeeling phone screen for a moment.
Should I buy something just in case he comes today? Hyun Woojin did the cooking, but he didn’t have time to restock Haewon’s fridge with ingredients. Haewon grabbed his wallet and phone and stood up.
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On his way back from the gym, Haewon stopped at a nearby grocery store and bought a few things. The bags were quite heavy by the time he got to his apartment building. Holding the weighty bags in both hands, Haewon stepped out of the elevator, only to freeze in place.
A tense scene unfolded before his eyes. Holding a briefcase in one hand and tucking the other into his suit pocket, Hyun Woojin stood facing none other than Kim Jaemin, who should have been in America.
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“I think you’re looking for the person who used to live here. They moved out quite a while ago.”
“Oh, I see. Sorry for the trouble, then.”
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It seemed like Kim Jaemin had come looking for Haewon, but Hyun Woojin was lying, claiming he had moved out. Their conversation was clear enough to hear. After making eye contact with Hyun Woojin, who gave a subtle nod of acknowledgment, Kim Jaemin turned around. Haewon, trying to avoid being seen, turned his head, but flinched.
“Haewon.”
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“…”
Kim Jaemin’s face brightened as he approached Haewon, standing in front of the closed elevator. Hyun Woojin also turned to look at Haewon, though he merely stared in silence.
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Rather than threatening or warning, that silent, unwavering gaze from Hyun Woojin weighed on Haewon more heavily than anything else.
“They said you moved. What’s going on?”
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“…What? Didn’t leaving my apartment in such a mess mean you never intended to see me again?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
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“You don’t know? Never mind. Just go. I have no intention of seeing you again.”
“I made a mistake back then. I shouldn’t have barged in like that.”
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“I’m seeing someone now.”
“…”
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The oblivious excitement on Kim Jaemin’s face faded. He glanced back, meeting Hyun Woojin’s eyes. Without a word, Hyun Woojin calmly unlocked the door and went inside.
“That guy said you moved. Did I mess up here?”
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His expression turned sheepish. He glanced awkwardly at the spot where Hyun Woojin had been standing before turning apologetically to Haewon.
Haewon also stared at the door of his apartment, now shut behind Hyun Woojin. This was awkward. Hyun Woojin had a tendency to dismiss anyone Haewon had dated in the past as insignificant.
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“How many times do I have to tell you it’s rude to show up unannounced like this?” Haewon said, irritation bubbling up toward Kim Jaemin, who had put him in such an uncomfortable position.
“I sent you several emails, but you didn’t check any of them. You didn’t answer any of my calls either. I’m here because of work. I found a good track and sent you the demo, but I couldn’t reach you.”
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“I told you I’m not working in that industry anymore. Please leave.”
“Just listen to it. It’s a track that would suit you perfectly.”
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“…”
“I’m here for work. Don’t get the wrong idea.”
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When Haewon remained silent, simply staring at him, Kim Jaemin sighed.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I had some business with the record label and came to Korea for a bit. Since I couldn’t get in touch with you, I stopped by. The demo I emailed you is for an album scheduled for this winter. If you’re interested, let me know. You have my number, right?”
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“Just go.”
“Your stubbornness… Fine. At least give it a listen.”
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“I told you, I’m not doing that anymore.”
Haewon was thoroughly fed up with Kim Jaemin, who had the audacity to show up after leaving his apartment in such a mess, now acting as if he was offering him an opportunity. Haewon thought, What kind of person does this?
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Kim Jaemin shook his head in exasperation at Haewon’s hostile glare and disappeared into the elevator, his expression cold.
After Kim Jaemin left, Haewon stood frozen in place for a while before trudging toward his apartment.
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Inside, Hyun Woojin was sitting at the dining table, focused on his paperwork. Haewon’s heart thumped irregularly. He cautiously observed him, trying to gauge his mood, while suppressing the excuses that threatened to spill from his lips. Haewon hadn’t done anything wrong. He never imagined Kim Jaemin, who had left his apartment in ruins, would show up again, let alone run into Hyun Woojin.
“I was late because I went to the gym and stopped by the grocery store,” Haewon said quietly.
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“……”
It was Hyun Woojin who came unannounced, yet Haewon found himself explaining why he was late. After hastily putting away the groceries, he looked over at Hyun Woojin, who sat with his back turned.
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“……He said he came to drop off a track. Since you weren’t answering calls or emails, he wanted to let you know.”
“Can you make me some coffee?”
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“Huh? Oh, sure.”
Haewon quickly brewed a cup of coffee. Pouring it into a mug, he respectfully handed it to him. Without lifting his gaze from the documents, Hyun Woojin accepted the coffee. Haewon, who had been standing quietly, loosened his expression and shifted his stance, wondering why he felt compelled to act so cautiously around him.
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It wasn’t as if Hyun Woojin had been celibate before meeting Haewon. He had even been engaged once. If anyone had a history of deep relationships, it was him, not Haewon. Most of Haewon’s past relationships were fleeting. Hyun Woojin was the first person Haewon had been with long enough to span seasons.
Maybe Hyun Woojin simply didn’t care and was sitting silently, but his quiet demeanor got on Haewon’s nerves.
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“Play something for me.”
Sipping his coffee and reading his documents, Hyun Woojin suddenly looked up and said this as if it had just occurred to him.
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“Play what?”
“Your violin.”
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“……Out of nowhere?”
“Yeah. I just feel like hearing you play, Haewon.”
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“What do you want to hear?”
Though he’d never demanded it outright, Hyun Woojin enjoyed listening to Haewon play and watching him perform. If Haewon was practicing, Hyun Woojin would deliberately keep quiet to avoid disturbing him.
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This time, too, Haewon didn’t refuse. He opened the case, took out the violin and bow, and adjusted the body between his chin and shoulder. While tuning, he asked again what piece Hyun Woojin wanted to hear.
“What was that one from before? Paganini’s Cantabile, wasn’t it?”
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Paganini’s Cantabile in D major, Op. 17, MS 109, required no flashy techniques but had a serene and beautifully melodic quality. Hyun Woojin had once heard Haewon play it casually to warm up and asked about the title. Despite his outward appearance, Hyun Woojin had a preference for delicate, serene compositions reminiscent of a gentle spring breeze.
For him, Haewon played the violin. True to its name, Cantabile’s songlike, soft melody filled the air. After finishing Paganini, he played Beethoven, and after Beethoven, he moved on to Sarasate, as if someone had inserted coins into a music box and selected tracks.
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By the time Haewon had played enough to satisfy him, his neck was stiff, and his shoulders and arms ached, as if he’d just competed in a high-level audition. While rubbing his sore neck, he heard Hyun Woojin ask:
“Are you in pain?”
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“My neck got stiff from being so tense trying to read your mood.”
“Why would you be tense around me? Did you do something wrong?”
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“No… It’s just, you’re so quiet, it’s distracting.”
Haewon trailed off, uneasy because Hyun Woojin had acted as if he didn’t know Kim Jaemin. As Haewon massaged his neck, Hyun Woojin approached without hesitation and slipped his fingers through Haewon’s hair, pressing into his scalp.
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Unlike Haewon’s own long, slender hands, Hyun Woojin’s hands were refined and intellectual-looking, with prominent knuckles. They were the hands of an adult man, the kind Haewon had admired since childhood.
Those fingers often sent Haewon’s thoughts spiraling into inappropriate fantasies, like a teenager just discovering sexuality—imagining those thick fingers touching him, inserting like a phallus. Now, they pressed firmly into his scalp and massaged his stiff neck.
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Hyun Woojin’s hands moved down Haewon’s shoulders. Despite the roughness of his knuckles, his palms were soft, like a fawn’s skin. He gently grasped Haewon’s stiff neck, the pressure of his touch releasing a relaxed sigh from Haewon.
“Is it helping?”
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“Yeah, it feels good.”
The tension in his shoulders and neck melted away under Hyun Woojin’s touch. After kneading him for a while, Hyun Woojin withdrew his hands and said:
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“I’m feeling a bit hungry. Can you make something?”
“Me?”
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Haewon didn’t know how to cook. He usually bought side dishes from stores, and when that felt like too much effort, he made do with instant meals. The only things he could make were ramen, which he didn’t enjoy, and rice cooked in a rice cooker. Despite having lived alone for ten years, Haewon was so unskilled in cooking that he hadn’t prepared anything beyond fried eggs in his kitchen.
Though not forcing him, Hyun Woojin maintained an unwavering gaze as he looked down at Haewon. Caught off guard, Haewon nodded.
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Standing in front of the kitchen, Haewon glanced back at him, feeling the weight of his gaze behind him.
“Go sit down. Are you watching me because you think I’ll poison the food?”
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“I’m just watching. This is the first time Moon Haewon is cooking for me. I’m moved.”
“You can save that feeling for after you eat. Though you probably won’t be moved after eating. You know I can’t cook, right?”
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“I eat anything, as long as it’s not garbage.”
“……”
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Under the unspoken pressure from Hyun Woojin, Haewon held his gaze for a moment before reluctantly pulling out his phone to search for a simple recipe. He found a super-simple fried rice recipe that required rice, kimchi, ham, potatoes, garlic, onions, pepper, and gochujang—all of which were conveniently available. Cooking wasn’t difficult when you put your mind to it. Following the recipe, Haewon quickly whipped up the fried rice.
“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”
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Without commenting on whether it was good or bad, Hyun Woojin ate quietly. Haewon had prepared excuses in advance for any criticism, but the complete silence—especially regarding Kim Jaemin—only heightened his unease. He couldn’t figure out what Hyun Woojin was thinking, and the deliberate lack of conversation made Haewon restless. His legs began bouncing nervously under the table.
“Why are you shaking your legs like that?”
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“Who? Me?”
At Hyun Woojin’s composed remark, Haewon looked down to see his legs unconsciously trembling.
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“What’s wrong with my legs?”
Still bouncing his legs, Haewon asked why they weren’t responding to his brain’s command to stop. He turned to Hyun Woojin for an answer.
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“Why are you acting like you’ve done something wrong?”
“Who said I’ve done anything wrong? I haven’t.”
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“Suspects being interrogated often shake their legs like that. Especially the nervous ones.”
“……”
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Despite Haewon glaring at him, Hyun Woojin calmly finished his meal, drinking water in one smooth motion. Without a word, he carried his empty dishes to the kitchen, washed them, and left them to dry. After tidying up, he returned to the table, picked up the documents he had set aside, and began reading again.
“If there’s something you’ve done wrong, just tell me. I’ll listen.”
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Without lifting his eyes from the papers, Hyun Woojin spoke.
“I haven’t done anything wrong. That guy earlier came to request a performance. He showed up because I kept ignoring his messages.”
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“Didn’t you say you didn’t have any serious relationships, fingers or toes? Yet someone knows your address?”
Pretending not to care, Hyun Woojin kept his focus on the documents as he spoke clearly. Haewon realized from his behavior earlier and now that Hyun Woojin had been entirely fixated on Kim Jaemin since seeing him.
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“……I didn’t tell him. He probably got it from the address written on the contract.”
“So, you weren’t sleeping together?”
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Still not looking Haewon’s way, Hyun Woojin continued reading as he asked. Haewon lowered his eyes, even though Hyun Woojin wasn’t watching him.
“Well, not exactly…”
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“Double negatives aren’t a good habit. It’s either yes or no. Say it clearly.”
“Don’t lecture me. Are you my teacher?”
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Already tense, Haewon’s heartbeat quickened, and his breathing became shallow. The way Hyun Woojin sat so formally, speaking in his low, steady tone, made Haewon’s nerves spike. He hated how stiff he became under such pressure, which led to his sharp reaction—just like now.
Hyun Woojin’s calm intensity was something Haewon both liked and found unnerving. Finally, Hyun Woojin looked away from the documents and turned his attention to Haewon.
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“Have you been with anyone before? You have, right? None of them were serious?”
“No one has ever come to my house.”
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“What do you expect me to do when someone shows up even after I tell them not to, even after I say no? Should I beat them up? Then I’ll end up in jail, and you’ll have to visit me in prison. You know we can’t have sex during visitation, right?”
“Is he a composer?”
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“I don’t know.”
“What does he do?”
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“Probably a composer.”
“He’s good-looking.”
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“……”
Though Kim Jaemin had a face that wouldn’t lose out anywhere, he was on a different level compared to Hyun Woojin—there was no comparison. Dumbfounded, Haewon stared at him in disbelief as Hyun Woojin stood up. Walking over to the bed where Haewon was sitting, Hyun Woojin muttered.
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“A handsome man who shows up at your house.”
“……Who are you talking about right now?”
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“Move out.”
“……”
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“Move into my office building.”
“Stop talking nonsense. I don’t have the money, and I can’t just sell this place on my own. I need my father’s permission.”
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“I’ll take care of that. Just move your things.”
“I can’t sleep on anything other than this bed.”
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“You seemed to sleep just fine.”
“That was because you barged in uninvited. I haven’t even contacted him since I met you.”
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Even though he was just standing there looking down at him, Haewon found it hard to breathe. It felt as if Hyun Woojin was holding a tightly coiled whip in his hand, ready to strike at any moment, and the tension made Haewon swallow nervously as he faced him.
If only he would express his emotions more openly. But maybe because he was used to dealing with criminals, Hyun Woojin didn’t show his displeasure in the usual way. When necessary, he suppressed his dissatisfaction and anger entirely, leaving them bottled up. It felt like he threw them at Haewon’s feet and left Haewon to figure out when they’d explode. This was one of the less likable sides of Hyun Woojin that Haewon didn’t particularly enjoy. Haewon preferred the quiet but affectionate side of him.
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“You should move because I barged in. So there won’t be any more encounters.”
“He’s not coming anymore. Even if he does, it’s got nothing to do with me.”
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“Give me his name and phone number.”
Hyun Woojin pulled out his phone from his pocket.
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“……What?”
“Name and phone number.”
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“Why?”
“I want to call him.”
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“What are you going to say?”
“You don’t need to know.”
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“……Do you realize how unreasonable you’re being right now?”
“Unreasonable?”
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Still preparing to take notes on his phone, Hyun Woojin shifted his gaze to Haewon, the sharp look in his eyes making Haewon’s back tense up.
“What are you going to say to someone I had nothing serious with? I already told him I’m seeing someone. He’s not the type to cling or act messy when told clearly.”
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Though his apartment being trashed was unexpected, Haewon knew Kim Jaemin wasn’t the kind of person to be emotionally swayed so easily. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been involved with him in the first place.
“Are you saying I’m being messy right now?”
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“Not messy—unreasonable.”
“……”
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After silently contemplating, Hyun Woojin seemed to acknowledge the unreasonableness of his actions, putting his phone back into his pocket. His demeanor was akin to someone gearing up to block a predator from preying on a minor.
“Fine. Got it.”
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Hyun Woojin let out a sigh. Even though Haewon had no intention of cheating, he figured if he ever did, it would be a one-way ticket to hell. His jealousy was so intense it didn’t even feel like jealousy anymore. Someone throwing a tantrum or making a fuss would have been easier to deal with. The way Hyun Woojin quietly approached and applied pressure, like a hand tightening around one’s neck, made Haewon sympathize with the suspects Hyun Woojin dealt with.
“Take off your clothes.”
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“……What are you saying now?”
“I’m the one you’re currently seeing, so I have that right, don’t I?”
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“What right? The right to take off my clothes?”
“No, the right to tell you to only undress in front of me. So go ahead and take them off.”
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“If you’re going to boss someone around like this, just get a dog. And stop seeing anyone.”
When Haewon stood up to walk away, Hyun Woojin grabbed his arm. Haewon looked up at him, his face filled with irritation.
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