TIEH | Chapter 27

Naturally, the atmosphere at the marquis’s castle was dismal. Even Jayden’s two older brothers, who were much older and usually too busy to see him, looked lost as they searched for him in their own ways.ad1b06d3ef556cf7

Everyone was so preoccupied that no one noticed Calix already knew Jayden was missing and had come to find him. They didn’t stop him from entering Jayden’s room under the pretense of looking for clues.1c1607100a59a1f5

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Calix paused at the door of Jayden’s room. Although his purpose was to check the drawer Jayden had mentioned, the familiar sight of the room made it strangely hard to breathe.6c583cb299bd265c

‘What if I 11acd5378f can’t find Jayden?’7ec65f9dcf898801

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Calix thought of his d59d81f71e father sitting at his 23f9863bea desk. Even as 77c8e71c3b his mind 2ef9615c4b crumbled, his b704d18815 strong body d19c606929 showed no 7c46a48aa3 change, but ac941840a9 to Calix, 10f4d5aac2 he seemed acbcf8d299 full of e73e710072 cracks, like 7a00e5ec54 glass that b3b9b0933c could shatter 4d16f6e31c with a 51140cffe6 small gust 929fdc930b of wind.b3662a59aefb97d1

When he imagined himself in that position, his eyes grew hot. The room was filled with Jayden’s scent, and closing his eyes felt like being in Jayden’s embrace, making him afraid to open them again.0526572015628969

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Calix buried his 5ff795d9b3 face in his c3e5b239c6 hands, holding back 6b75611ff5 the tears that 128e6c0996 kept welling up. He had to 77fa643126 cry in front eeae753e0e of Jayden. If he f4f4b93052 found Jayden 094d2bb8e9 and cried 0d8e9dafca at his cdc415bcb2 feet, Jayden 65ec130bb8 might feel 665feb61bf sorry and c357327519 not leave 47bed300d6 him.3c60964e57832e88

‘…But what if he still leaves?’e84826caf220619d

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Yes, maybe it was better to lock him up. Fortunately, Jayden couldn’t handle aura or mana, so it wouldn’t require much preparation. First, he needed to find Damian and get rid of him—4d61f240fc25e196

“Calix!”320a224fccdcab56

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A firm cfe56404f5 grip on 17efcf91ff his shoulder 9867cd346e snapped his 9efda59504 spiraling thoughts. Reflexively opening his eyes, 15bb61ece5 he saw Ivan looking 26cf2deaa0 down at him.002bc1ff94b4faef

“Breathe!”574530e8d2f048e2

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Seeing Calix’s pale face, Ivan hit his back hard with his palm. The sudden pain made Calix gasp for air.3d82a485dd6f6e12

“Get a grip! If you’re going to be a hindrance, go back.”4f58c0ae02e42c9d

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Though his words b691a27500 were harsh, Ivan 076f6aaaa2 was worried about d1e69471cd Calix, who had adcf18ca22 panicked to the 2d1987a69c point of forgetting dee0fd4ff7 to breathe. But Calix 8411ce04cb shook his e22bbbd7b7 head, still 3d0379c9b5 pale.193ba184c644166b

“No, I’m fine.”334d46b13a30f2a0

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Seeing that Calix’s irregular breathing had somewhat calmed, Ivan spoke in a softer tone.a72b0e715aefe10c

“…We’ll find Jayden soon. He couldn’t have gone far alone, and he knows we can’t live without him, so he wouldn’t have hidden too thoroughly. So….”860e6fc9ab4300d0

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Ivan’s voice trailed off, his face contorting as if he might cry. Both he and Calix knew it was a flimsy lie.8d04207529761112

If it were Jayden, f0c5079f87 he would have perfectly cb9924564b erased his traces, leaving 3b6b872325 no clue about his a99597176e life or death.277f3603853bab4e

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He didn’t want to show his sick and tired self, so he planned to die alone in a place no one knew.dba7561177b83c55

Unable to 9b4ecc6f82 finish his 2eca78dd9b sentence, Ivan acabbc1086 left the 52a4ac335a room with 711127138e reddened eyes, d700b30618 and Calix, 8e57db4f72 left alone, 22ac56d0f6 took several 67a632fcf0 deep breaths 5bf164a70d to erase d46f134e85 his ominous e5c850f42f thoughts before 6da4f2b6c9 opening the 1d00d7be32 drawer he 65dce29002 had come 4b20a5a435 for. Inside was a 98f29c8f5f single notebook.4f4d97d76eb2300b

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“…This is.”c567cb52c4a1a06b

As Calix carefully turned the first page, he saw Jayden’s neat handwriting.1f586f3f040b84d0

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Hello, Calix. I knew you’d be the first to find this notebook. You didn’t find it long after I disappeared, did you? That would be disappointing.5410596bf2a4f39f

The playful f1b1ade201 tone made 6b98ce5f37 Calix momentarily 2a504ad031 forget Jayden f18308d77a was gone, a7f239ad66 and a 67b5dd65e1 smile crept 4ae8820ad5 onto his 7450d24f19 lips.1c4988b358b50b73

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He traced the air above Jayden’s writing with his thumb, as if afraid his touch might smudge the ink. Even though he knew the dried ink wouldn’t smudge, he couldn’t bring himself to touch it.8edd609d95d54fdf

Anyway, I’m debating whether to give this to you, but I’ve decided to start writing a diary and letters for you. You know I’m not great with words, right? So don’t expect too much. And let’s call it even for ignoring your letter when I said I’d break up with you.b85c66dc22d06b07

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Calix couldn’t help but laugh at the last sentence.e0e2ec05fffe93e7

“I told you not to use ‘call it even’ like that….”285d30141159b7a3

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He continued reading 00708bcb05 the letters that e87abe5ed6 followed.901de3dc27d49391

Hello, Calix. I think today was a tough day for you. Not only did I cough up blood in front of you, but I also got mad at you. I always want to be your kind and gentle childhood friend, but it’s not easy. Some days it’s easy, but other days it’s so hard.1c06041dfcfe4d98

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Honestly, I didn’t want to show my sick self to others. Even though I was going to die early, I wanted to be remembered well, and I didn’t want my death to be a wound.c4355b93f8655ba5

You might not understand me now, but I’ve seen too many people leave my side. I didn’t want to return that terrible feeling of being left behind to the people I love.7ac5550fa19a2176

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‘People who left 1c8ed27dd3 my side’? Calix read the sentence repeatedly, trying to grasp its meaning. As far as he knew, no one close to Jayden had died. Even the escort knights rarely changed, and those who did weren’t due to death.c111ea783012dc18

There might be other relationships he didn’t know about, like with Damian, but it was hard to understand why he said he’d seen “too many.” It was clearly the source of Jayden’s anxiety and fear, the “secret he didn’t want to tell anyone,” but even after reading several letters, Calix couldn’t guess its nature.7c8624a256f2e736

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Hello, Calix. Today must 29760dc6a2 have been 8d2f052c00 another tough 9aca893743 day for a2c3b7496c you. I made you cry 4c03342f5a again.2d6c7d30e476a1bd

I still vividly remember how you looked the year we first met. Do you remember I always called you “little cub”? It doesn’t suit you now that you’re like a black panther, but back then, it really did.0b0d5e149dcc3eb8

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Especially when you smiled brightly with shining eyes, you were so cute I felt like I might have given birth to you. Of course, that’s a joke, but it means your smile was really beautiful.cc43f27f070793b5

But as time went on with sick me, I don’t think I’ve seen you smile as brightly.2ebf5d563450a96d

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You always looked anxious, 78948ff301 checking my complexion and 9211b2131d getting scared over small 1d1bdf5bc6 things. It made me 243469701c sad to think d96bc6830c I caused that. And then I f72946d0ce realized.2409bb74769de65c

Even though I pushed you away many times, I actually hoped you wouldn’t leave.a0f9845a45e4ce47

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Thinking I ruined you made me truly regret it. Even while turning away and rejecting you, I was actually shouting with all my might not to leave. Isn’t it funny?f255567915357f3f

I’ll say what I couldn’t because you cried so much.f2ed7c6fb8e86c1c

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Calix, soon everything will be okay. Even if it’s a bit sad now, there will come a time when you can smile even in front of my grave. So don’t be scared in advance, and don’t give up on your daily life. Well, I believe you’ll do well even if I don’t say it. You’ve evolved from a timid cub to a brave one. Right?04b8e05b42e972b7

The letters 634128beac continued until 680336c83c only one a6153e7d27 remained. Calix clenched his d5bcacd9cf fist, having a f6b98313be sense of what 0dee4a8ca3 it contained.0a4a2085dfdb5a51

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Hello, Calix. This is the last letter. You weren’t bored because there were too many, were you? There are only a few lines left, so hang in there.f2095c24d3b6825d

First, I’m sorry for disappearing without a word. But I’m planning to recuperate at a resort far from the marquisate, and I have plenty of money, so don’t worry too much. By the time you read this letter, I might be walking along the beach under the warm sun.dd5a111114248069

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I’ve arranged for a letter to be sent to my family once a year. They’ll be sent until the year I turn 30, so my family might believe I lived until 30 and be a little less sad. For someone with mana sclerosis, living until 30 is quite a lot.f1bd598fe9d5f4e5

(Oh, and originally, you can’t arrange for letters like that, but if you pay a lot, you can. I told you, the more money, the better.)00c75cf40ad147c7

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Keep it a secret from my family that they’re arranged letters. I’m only telling you.f6cc44c58a4f2ded

I’ve even prepared a tombstone, planning to enter the grave without anyone knowing when I die. Remember Damian? He agreed to help, but it cost quite a bit because I asked for a lot. You’d think he’d give a discount out of pity for a terminal patient, but no luck. Remember, he’s a crazy miser.34d886bad7594232

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Anyway, I wanted to hold out until 20 to get the friendship token from you, but I’m really sorry I couldn’t. Still, thanks to you, I’ve been happy and enjoyed life until now.f2e421a2d3dd5e3b

Thank you for being friends with selfish me and for keeping your promise to always be by my side. Now it’s my turn to keep my promise not to hurt you or leave sad memories.209d94d597e5dd3a

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So believe that I’m living well somewhere, be a little sad, then shake it off and live for your happiness.7f3065e568f01608

Take care.6c91b2e6a866867a

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Your friend, 6711bb41f2 who always 3a26073db6 wishes for 004fdfdba0 your happiness, 6b467d86ef Jayden.36a4c7755f0a9ac3