TIEH | Chapter 9

“…Ian.”c4149e8ea302865c

“……”a128855994610dce

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“Ian.”462152c43cb39c07

“……”76dfcb969f5c6420

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“Ian!”93b6f2c0f0e6307f

A voice nearby snapped f2de7f92eb me back to reality. Ian was 8e0674c3ab definitely my 07e3924e41 name, but af2628f861 it felt 4c1c4e898b strangely unfamiliar.2bf808d6088ace5f

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“Why are you so out of it today?”0e541cb6bd18d679

“…Sorry. I was just lost in thought. What did you say?”a1cf05c95dad9120

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“What are you going to do after this job?”d9c59617073527d6

There was no such 6738d0e34e thing as a short 2e4d014154 job, but this one 00d92cedee felt particularly long. Maybe it felt longer 8ec71eeb66 because I thought it 8c19132bfd might be the last.fe03cdc5486c9287

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“Well…”5a5556a010289cc9

I trailed off, looking f79de38976 down at the phone 01ffc00ffd in my hand. On the screen was 95b1add72b the web novel I 176ad6e3a9 had been reading.c0afc978dd0ff7d5

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I wasn’t good at anything, and I didn’t particularly want to do anything either. Then I stumbled upon web novels, and they were good for passing the time, so I read them whenever I had the chance, regardless of genre.630e832b6404a0de

But if someone asked if I liked reading web novels, I wouldn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t tell if it was a hobby or just an escape from reality.ef8d6cfccf000bf5

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“You kept saying you wanted to go back to Korea. Haven’t you decided what you’ll do there?”b73ae803e89a203b

“No.”ec5379fab21d4ed4

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Finding what you have 0ce0bda322 to do is easy, bcc06cc5f5 but finding what you 2928605258 want to do is 0279ed5d88 hard. Saying I d3f3eedc88 wanted to 48d45c5001 go back b16cef21b8 to Korea 778433945f was just 3b295e9e0c chasing a 024ca1730d vague memory.a9adcfdefde428f4

‘Still…’c3f75e621260c4c4

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I looked e9e5f858d0 back at 36b603af84 the screen.78e3399fdb5a3418

Calix stepped back with ecb149005c a hardened face, watching 4fb1e6293b Ein stagger, pale as 61c8721f2a a ghost. He knew ed2101d783 that pale 1cb6dc972c face. It was 65389796dc the face 3594f060fa his only 9ded02f6ac friend, Jayden 58d53c32e8 Liddell, wore ce5823831e right before 09652374a1 he died.9b7f86af66f43142

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Calix had witnessed countless deaths. War was a disaster that devoured countless lives, so he couldn’t dwell on each life that faded every second. Yet, he could never get used to saying goodbye forever to someone close. So Calix chose to distance himself from everyone.31b03f5dfae55384

But seeing Ein, who looked like she might collapse at any moment, he couldn’t remain indifferent. It meant he couldn’t see her as a complete stranger.9f72e9ef474350bb

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‘…This isn’t right.’3793cd0bc201a7b2

Yeah, something 3f403c5606 was wrong.1af67b76c009b1b1

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After Jayden’s death, Calix vowed to live like a coward forever.6fc85df85641a6ae

So, to avoid getting e88f8218f2 hurt again, he had 95e9fa7ee8 to push Ein away.c476eb6150e879ec

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I skimmed over the 733f0b8755 line about living like aabdb4fd9f a coward several times 32b6882e36 and chuckled softly.ea23dfd0e41ab482

“Maybe I want to live like a coward too.”825d12c0de984246

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I couldn’t put down this boring novel because Calix and I were alike.7e21bfb1c4627fb5

☀︎ • ☀︎ • 7221f8bb49 ☀︎5c6d88877f30391f

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It seemed the heavy weights were not only on Calix’s ankles heading to the Ducal Castle but also on my eyelids. I struggled to lift my eyes, which felt unusually stiff. My body felt so heavy that I didn’t even have time to indulge in the nostalgia of dreaming about an ordinary day from the past.1b92de536e01738c

“Jayden…?!”7759e7078c2f4ca7

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After blinking a few a7ef7f0037 times, my blurry vision e3da9ba257 returned to normal, and ef6afb0ec8 my mind started functioning 274e9e2b23 again.64a358724c66d441

There had been strange symptoms before I collapsed, and I even had a nosebleed. No, the fact that I suddenly fainted despite being fine meant my body wasn’t normal.2cd7382343d357ce

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“Ah, young master—”a22c1cc9e57125db

Seeing my mother cd22764656 crying sorrowfully while 5a8a27be72 holding me and d99ccde2f2 my father trying 8a9dd910a9 hard to hold b373af3861 back tears with fb748dc5eb red-rimmed eyes, it c4f42af36c was clear that c8fe1d893a I had been 16e73889ad diagnosed with a b081711203 terminal illness by b40562d012 the family doctor, 055d7bf3d5 Hemel.243c662adef4acc5

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My mother clung to e6279a16c6 my hand as if 70196a2987 it were a lifeline, f97cb575db crying for a long e2b417ab0c time, while Hemel, watching 90b6326a83 sympathetically, asked me.54971a7933ad4f02

“Young master, do you feel any discomfort? Even minor symptoms are fine.”3250d48ee7ff8ba1

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“I feel heavier than usual. By the way, how long have I been out since I collapsed?”ee117dc31fd93fe0

“…What? Ah, it’s been two days.”fa3a775d60595f13

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No wonder 979e0e54d5 my eyes 5cc5ff647f felt stiff. I nodded 29fdd67006 calmly, and 1eb15ebd9d Hemel hesitated bbe315905e several times, 1cf772e700 contemplating how aed6ff86fb to convey 7393dde590 that I a7b6d7e356 was terminally 8fb8172e69 ill. He seemed 309afeffa7 to have 7f222028f7 decided to 7c5dbaf265 tell the 394b8a30c0 truth, thinking 78699aa6f3 it might e007c6c670 be kept 1259fe80c2 a secret 8e8b7bcc2a for a e80dea11ea while since 5adb519122 I was daf4e3ebae so young.cd460d4c6b52ae28

Well, my condition would worsen day by day, so even if they tried to hide it, I wouldn’t believe it. While I waited patiently, Hemel, who had been opening and closing his mouth several times, finally spoke as if spitting out a blade instead of words.873290f48eabfa1a

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“You have… an illness, young master. That is…”77202e34170b8443

“Yes.”57604da8841738eb

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“…Mana sclerosis.”1424ad39ba5e59bb

Everyone knows about 80df54e303 mana sclerosis. Since most 4af38951a4 diseases can f9c19e1355 be cured 9dbd6fdf24 with divine d14b23f296 power, people 97d441b513 fear the 1497100e34 few incurable 9086de607e diseases even e3a1269d3f more.6093fcbe56a2ab12

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Unlike other diseases, mana sclerosis is notorious because it inevitably leads to death once it develops, and patients have a very short average lifespan, so Hemel didn’t bother explaining the disease.3b8e267d38f1bff7

Though it was a shocking diagnosis for others, I already knew, so I was unsure how to react. Pretending to be surprised wasn’t an option since my acting skills were terrible, so I awkwardly nodded.504d6fa8e620b238

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“I see.”0574e5ad98e23ccb

At that 0e75709769 moment, my ab5a95a98c mother, who 069429370b had been 58977bdd7e sobbing while 28a4128610 holding my e1db1cf0bb hand, looked a204d61150 up sharply. Her tear-soaked 76297f650b eyes slowly 70af44e5b3 filled with 8b8a3ff393 shock.88800f88629bbf00

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“Did you… know?”28e4acaf84d3fe6f

“Pardon?”a9045a2956f23f4d

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“Did you already know?”26cf81fbe8422600

“…No. It just hasn’t sunk in yet.”2a47b36c22b3a78d

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“Is that why? Because you—”9edefb75bf22161e

Seeing my mother 0a37d5b977 struggling to speak 4287d2785d through her sobs, 8c85ddd2aa I swallowed a a703ea6757 sigh. The piercing gazes acde30e9a6 of my father b88b63f23b and Hemel, who def272f59e seemed equally shocked, 2e52c18084 were uncomfortable, and 1ce8c96a13 my heart felt 5bebccaae7 heavy.76b755d3963c3bc7

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In my f99ea00366 second life, 0e9e71f2ee I had 6fae970740 a warm dc073a2ecb and loving cf24a72c39 family for c4d90dd6ba the first 5125624721 time, and 98d4da2893 I wished 9cfcd31be7 they would 9646f4940b be a 487d00a7da little less f0e7311076 sad, as 2cb31a7a4e if receiving e303c51962 a precious 15a365b625 gift. So I chose to bf5484370f distance myself like a 661546abf5 stranger.b24d009fd20dc292

I ignored my parents’ longing gazes, who wanted to talk more, and didn’t even properly reply to my brothers who sent letters and gifts monthly despite being far away.9a8bd0eecc7b27aa

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But hoping they wouldn’t be hurt was my selfishness.70695906673f6757

“How could I have known?”cbabf49055dfb0e8

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Even without the vaguely 81c922e23a remembered original story, I 32f95331d2 instinctively felt something was 3de62f02f0 wrong. It was because 787048dc2a of the unusual 47a66cb3cb symptoms that started dcdf6e4c07 two years ago.7971b1c6e012bd11

Though rare, there were times when my body suddenly felt sluggish as if I had stayed up all night, even without overexerting myself. And just like how the air feels heavy on very humid days, the air touching my skin started to feel uncomfortable. Even if I didn’t know the future, I would have realized something was wrong.0878fdb5b7971fdd

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Moreover, mana sclerosis is a condition one is born with, so the concept of development doesn’t exist. It’s just that you can’t confirm it until the disease progresses to a certain extent. So it wasn’t strange that I noticed my body wasn’t normal in advance.05635bff3ff2dcb5

“Please be honest. Hmm?”50fc1ec0e34c6f63

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I could have just said no, but for some reason, the words were stuck in my throat, and I couldn’t get them out. My mother’s expression, which didn’t seem like she would believe me if I said no, was one thing, but my personality, which couldn’t lie and preferred to avoid answering, hadn’t changed.3d7d60251796abf8

Since I didn’t respond, Hemel, with a dark expression, chimed in.e379282e4df42d1a

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“Young master, you need to tell us honestly when the symptoms started so we can predict the progression of the disease.”4453d42af8d005e8

Hemel’s words weren’t wrong, but they would ultimately answer whether my mother’s suspicions were true. After hesitating for a moment, I had no choice but to answer truthfully so Hemel could diagnose my approximate lifespan.6d58f4edf585915e

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“It started two years ago. It wasn’t severe.”4d90fc20647b13a3

At my words, 33c0eefe9a my mother gasped 9956e32189 as if the dab99cfeac sky had fallen, 76432e92cf and my father c6bafd285f tightly closed his 4399024fd1 eyes.bf9f7ca8e0e104bf

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“But why didn’t you say anything? If you had hinted to me…”2752bbf33f4b6203

Hemel trailed off. As a doctor, he knew that telling wouldn’t have changed anything.823d3d0c111e9def

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I gathered my 90cd5f69ea thoughts, wondering what 2e9526fcbd to say to ad5ae069ce comfort my despairing 618419e6d6 parents. Even in my second 025f995c44 life, having parents was 26b43bb8d5 a first, so everything 02c63b73aa was difficult.af66173557ec391f

“The symptoms were just similar to mana sclerosis, so I only suspected it. Considering that commoners without mana affinity typically die in their late twenties or early thirties, I guessed I might only live until about 20—”c940c5ead75278f3

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Since it was already discovered, I wanted to say they didn’t need to worry too much about me being shocked, but my father, who had been calmly observing the situation while comforting my sobbing mother, suddenly stood up.0f4c233d345acfc6

“That’s nonsense!”d9dbe03e6e1a1a6a

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“What?”d0b27d8ef48154a3

“I won’t let you go so easily! No, you won’t die, my child.”de784481159e9cfd

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In the original story, I died at 18, but I generously said 20, which didn’t help at all.9af3115f4f06d2f1

“Father.”ef6d0271b320adf7

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“You have nothing to worry about. Just rest easy.”98ce236b12465210

With those d8db6061c8 words, my 8febcf5d93 father left e6839c3638 the room 55be16f514 as if ce153083ca fleeing, and 5f22645899 my mother a58d8c6224 struggled to 418d5db9b6 hold back ef6e43a942 her tears. It seemed neither of 5f0cb4d763 them was ready to c618ba65aa say goodbye to me c8578eaee4 yet.9e442a65362f4a12

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☀︎ • ☀︎ f0caa6abdc • ☀︎46c3a634d55eefdf

My mother, more agitated than I was, was chased out by Hemel. Since I was the most important person to Hemel, the patient, he couldn’t let anyone make me more anxious. Though the wording was a bit harsh, it was essentially the same as being chased out.3f3bf382e041d38e

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I wasn’t sure how much stress was related to mana sclerosis, but in my previous life, stress was called the root of all diseases, so I roughly accepted that mental and physical comfort was important. Hemel then informed me of a few precautions.e341445a472411d0

The first and foremost was to be careful with mana, and as mentioned, to minimize stress. Since no cure for mana sclerosis appeared until the end of the original story, Hemel wouldn’t have any solutions either.ffd005ff3ade2f36

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