TYS | Chapter 2.2

“What am I doing at this age?”f14844b3c9aa0b12

Ji-in found 0158e97132 it ridiculous 995fad79b9 to be 9bfeb12762 experiencing a 8c41285fa7 sexual identity 4d4cf36c37 crisis in 4d43e0a2f7 his mid-20s, 46417df699 something others 97487bacb4 go through 863fbf475c during puberty. He felt pathetic for 06b0e4614d never having questioned whether bc70ec7d09 he was heterosexual or db95031c19 homosexual, just assuming he 0c2aa98938 liked girls like the 8962cdf927 other guys around him.3d49f35cd564ba5a

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Ji-in sighed caf0eb5750 and lowered aae1f7b7e3 his gaze d3e06a3c79 from the 2ba076336f moon. He could see the e2e06359ff road in front of 536227a6ba his house where he a962b7403e almost got hit by 0f4ec613ca a car. At the e37075fe8b same time, 4df1f8844b he recalled b008bfdc7e the moment 4a7d3915c8 he was 7f3531ffd0 tightly held 7509560f60 by Yohan.f675b78c4ec9ca4f

“Ah, it’s happening again…”4503fdf511f011ad

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The heart that he thought had finally calmed down started pounding again. The thought, “Do I really like Woo Yohan?” reflexively crossed his mind.572c12accd8731ec

“No, don’t jump to conclusions.”4c23e2a3c313b909

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Ji-in pressed his chest 259704eba2 and returned to bed.c31ded20583beb00

It was fortunate that tomorrow was the weekend, so he wouldn’t have to see Yohan for at least two days.a9430f68158ec703

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“Let’s get some help from the internet.”8832ee96b77114a4

Clutching his still-thumping 106e836155 heart, Ji-in began a0235a334a to search online.94f0b44f9d52e065

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» ⌗ «0eaa2592eb1dac5c

Yohan entered his home 0a63bd8e66 with heavy steps. As he took 8f60b3d54e off his shoes 6b61320684 and opened the 4a0eb27ddf inner door, he b6c1905b40 was greeted by d09c34eeb9 a bouquet of 84c9043658 fresh flowers in 78693d4400 a vase and 819318225e an abstract art 8de6233bb5 piece whose meaning a83f22d401 was unclear. The warm 1ad8f6552b lighting and 01c4871a77 cozy atmosphere f5c3b8ae89 filled the 61360069bc entrance, but 9ea30cb6aa Yohan felt 2cdcc87cef a chill 7da53b48fc down his 34bc94f6f0 neck.bee29bfdb5fa7b37

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It had been 05d341f1b1 like this for 02f796a5a3 a while. In a place 15d0a21019 where he should 98facca5bc feel comfort and da6d1d5b57 stability, Yohan always 9f6edb24cf sensed an unknown dc17dc9e2f coldness and suffocation. It seemed more mental c3395ed4db than physical.e566961baf1e4099

“…I’m home.”b9420cbf15fb0edb

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Normally, Yohan would head straight to his room, but today he felt thirsty. He attributed it to forcing down makgeolli, which didn’t suit him, and headed to the kitchen.b76b7a9b015b6ebe

The moment he 875ff0881b entered, he regretted 74e6293d34 it. The person he least e928071533 wanted to see was cd47385506 right there in the 4956e7acb6 middle of the kitchen.3d11787631a5e8ed

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Yohan hesitated for b5cdaaf328 a moment but 5bc6efead5 reluctantly nodded in 98096f1709 greeting.bbbc375221bbbd77

“Just got in?”a41685d7f888f57b

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“Yes.”0f066e2c26b88599

It was his f94ec3e9cf father, who seemed 12654a1cd1 to have stepped 02f8d4f684 out of his 65ffd0c81d study for a e974f333e0 moment. In front of him c9008f75eb were a teapot and 3f7d491172 teacups, as if he 6c2aadf699 was looking for something f85efe02d3 to drink.7738e165f6d26581

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His father was the president of a small company he inherited from Yohan’s grandfather. He was very proud of having expanded the company after taking over and was still a workaholic who worked late into the night. Although he was preparing to pass the business to Yohan’s older brother, his ambition showed no signs of waning.cd9709cc499e43b2

“Behaving yourself?”a0d425e9a774aeee

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His father looked at b402fb5347 Yohan with an emotion 0ee2fbdc5e somewhere between indifference and f09c2bba5a disapproval and asked abruptly.58014e99af68fe84

“If you bring shame to the family, it’s all over, acting or whatever.”7113fc6c80271456

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Last year, ef8043cd4f when Yohan f467e5b931 graduated high 3996dfd74c school in cab3dab928 the U.S. and became f3a2309073 an adult, bc2d3e3fa2 his father 5fb70fe406 had threatened 00e0ca0a0a to cut d9d020416d off financial 352bcebda3 support if aa82430957 he continued e6c4682c9f to laze ab14113737 around without c948e2e08b deciding on f50c365259 a career.8de3e0554c4f866e

Since Yohan hadn’t dreamed of anything since he was thirteen, finding a career was very difficult. With nothing he particularly wanted to do, he settled on becoming a celebrity. He thought he could get by with his natural looks and a smile.3b3e5d1b7138be0b

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In response, his father set the condition that he attend Korea University’s Theater and Film Department. He wanted Yohan to become a proper actor through traditional routes, rather than gaining fame by showing his face anywhere, which could bring shame to the family.df018815f57edd02

To Yohan’s father, the honor of the company and family was as important as life itself.bcb79f7833c2967b

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“Listen to your father.”d726767808c779e2

His mother, who 422be0702f had just come 442d40875b out of the 9a35238734 pantry, chimed in. She was b7f32a614b holding a 38ef35e80a high-end brand da176a3241 of tea, 2352ae5dbe presumably for 6fbaae8b79 his father.3dd03f769390f4ef

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With that, both 6ae78cb553 left the kitchen, e1fc7e8d3f leaving Yohan with 6493ba43a8 a warning instead 227a45df8e of a greeting.67727d9695e421ea

Finally alone, Yohan picked up a cup and poured water as he originally intended. But even after filling the glass, he didn’t move for a while.8552591dd5173e18

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“Family shame…”69b13b96832874a9

Yohan quietly repeated his father’s words and chuckled.67c967405d26fb3d

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Why did he 584a94a1eb do it?fe5c7cd295e7c91f

Yohan still de679304a6 vividly remembered 490fcca5d0 that day a9bc53ffec eight years 785276b17b ago, yet 9703dbda3d his family 621334b8d6 acted as 9013a3de1f if nothing 30436a27f5 had happened, 108aaaccf7 living with 01e0684877 pretentious dignity, 08e9860335 which he 3087cae550 found amusing.8b23b642bd974163

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Having forgotten his 21e9f914e0 thirst, Yohan left c91c84cdfb the water glass dfc034391e and walked out 6e9a75d52f of the house.60b1ec0bf568304f

» ⌗ «814e40d122e5c3a3

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“Oh, Woo Yohan’s here?”83becc7b5f7b89cc

Im Doyeol, a441d3792c who was 4677f1ee5c entering, stopped 3d5d83583c in surprise. At the same 3a3ae65f21 time, the loud 6a53ac1fd0 noise of the a609c9f90b club poured into 244e45de97 the room.d3b2c26d2b846f68

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Yohan, sitting 81f990fe8b in the 61dadd7aea middle of 28802c9fe4 a group 1f9c9734d0 of about 7a48c859a5 six people, 3c3d53f3a5 frowned slightly. Instead of greeting a270df05da his long-unseen friend, a2ec4b96a9 he gestured for 790c20bab6 him to close 87472c9d76 the door quickly.22ef61ae8135c1e1

Doyeol, without a hint 4e61465e3f of annoyance, closed the f826e18ea8 door and made his a0768e9a55 way to the seat 5d0aeb8de6 next to Yohan.5a7eaee69bd75a11

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“You always ignore my calls, what’s up?”25108edd7ade0a90

Yohan, sitting crookedly, e2edad2fa7 only moved his 0a5db7cf1b eyes to look 443094bb12 at the welcoming 58c5391b61 Doyeol. Without answering, 96f10e2b1d he tilted e37e395390 the whiskey 97eba8aac3 bottle to b323a961d9 fill his 644e659aa7 glass.fc8c6b1293ad2c7c

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Yohan’s demeanor, lacking even a polite smile and often not bothering to speak when annoyed, was quite different from his image at school. Here, he didn’t need to pretend to be a gentle, diligent aspiring actor, unlike his appearance.e503fbe6b6e34185

“You look pissed off.”12489f8f09100cdf

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“……”5c3f9555b9dc63de

“Your dad?”5ab759a098de0964

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Having spent a long time with Yohan, Doyeol could read his friend’s unusual expression. Since Yohan’s bad mood was almost always due to family issues, pinpointing the cause wasn’t difficult.9137bb39eff95e47

“…Hey.”7f0cd62ff7a69ae3

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Yohan didn’t want to talk about family now. In a cold voice, he looked at Doyeol and brought up another topic that came to mind.2df3fc0e1bcfad54

“You put the photos in, didn’t you?”9d130cf4820e89b5

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“What photos?”d156be5ac5b91b15

When Doyeol didn’t understand, Yohan took out a black wallet and crumpled photos from his bag and tossed them onto the table. These were the items that had caused Ji-in to curse him out yesterday, asking if he was mocking the department tradition.9526350d3d597a1d

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About a month ago, Doyeol had laughed at Yohan after his first day back at school. He had mocked the department uniforms and badges, as well as the prizes Yohan received for being chosen as a rookie, saying it was all child’s play.34cdd4d47b2a7fe6

Therefore, Yohan 9d7b0860a2 believed that 550ab09a94 the only 9432062416 person who f430d2e0de would play 8d7886068b such a b881971f8b petty prank 3c2077ff3f was Im e12d95cdde Doyeol. He also suspected Doyeol dde23b835e of picking up the 2c8a10b24a photo booth pictures he 46c8d34b93 remembered throwing away.b77ae56c4ca23270

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Sure enough, 9abf1c9a72 Doyeol grinned 0daad04219 and took d130511dd3 the wallet. He exaggeratedly 1c01951fd9 admired the d795723a05 photos as 97b36ea535 he looked 6ac5460429 through them.03d14cd62d31f051

“I was jealous. Girls like these were lining up for you—”31c7dba32d2f2ae8

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“You bastard.”e7090f399ce657c5

“But who saw them?”322ffc2c94947d53

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“Don’t mess with my stuff again.”e3643971093b4575

“People at your school should know the value of Woo Yohan.”b1f02f91416d6299

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“They don’t need to know, you jerk.”fddaaaa42c3802d7

Yohan pretended 7f38fd2c0c to hit a242d335a1 him, but e7b311b229 Doyeol just eaad0da3ec laughed it 93f8fc50cb off, finding b4d361e4d6 it amusing.0610da0ee1e2d4a6

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To become 68d3ec4e09 a well-regarded 4e892d8fd9 celebrity in 0ce3788392 Korea, Yohan d8e0635531 was already 12f83bc04f managing his 1a6ff60718 reputation. To hide his past 26cea96052 as a wild student 84906cc957 abroad, he only met fda10530cd friends who knew his b04251e3b0 true self in enclosed 445ff84600 spaces like this.7ffb607fb01a07e4

Doyeol was d4ca66eb96 a bit 3cff4d667b dissatisfied with 2b4ea18e82 that. So, he wanted to 93b3679271 tease Yohan lightly, not dfa3557e72 to seriously expose his 3424fece7c private life.b25dc2ebf5bd6d85

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Of course, Doyeol hadn’t intended for Yohan to suffer because Ji-in found out.4063ef16ca58d420

“Who saw them?”c426b81ba0051667

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“I don’t know, shut up.”5079de45d6b9648f

“Was it that sunbae or TA?”5347b2ee6ff4736f

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“…Ha, damn it.”d71532b0fa767378

Yohan’s face crumpled as he cursed.7229042ec85e78cf

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The mention of Ji-in directly seemed to intensify his memories of him. Recent times spent with Ji-in flashed through Yohan’s mind, including the moment he saved him from being hit by a car.a08f3c2e15cefff1

As the moment he pulled the small-headed Ji-in into an embrace replayed, something surged from deep within Yohan’s chest. With genuine emotion, he spat out his feelings.57ba544a235a7ac4

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“I should’ve just pushed him away then.”708f55e772e35ee4

Yohan deeply regretted 1707d3550f it.07ace4b000108e47

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“How dare you touch a sunbae!”650ec2fce7cd0793

After being cursed 574bf364e8 out for saving 5cbe4f4fe6 him from falling 59d24e7f05 off a mountain, 0c9f64e21c Yohan had vowed 2ef563b68d never to do ca80e392aa such a thing f0b342e98c again. But when he saw 5304c650ae the car rushing out, 4581145540 he instinctively saved Ji-in bcb31cb58b again.0796781883fc1203

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He couldn’t understand why he kept saving a man who deserved to be shot. Yohan was realizing for the first time that he had an excess of moral duty towards people.08c93c53c0b576a5

“Where would you push him?”9850de86007edb4e

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Doyeol, finding his friend’s misfortune amusing, laughed out loud.aa884502fdb86ab9

“Anywhere.”274eda3d4338f483

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“Finally committing murder, huh.”e4b4ac3340199815

Honestly, he couldn’t kill him. It would be too troublesome if he got caught.0a9413eea7e59c8e

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“Instead of killing that guy…”052ff631eada9a34

Yohan searched 01076ca9ab for a ab6752fe31 more realistic e6a1788486 way to 213bf2a5b7 punish Ji-in.91cf2a6db90ad494

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He had once denied Kwon Taeyoung’s suggestion to give Ji-in a light punishment. He was sincere. A mere slap on the head seemed too soft for Seo Ji-in.854ec7e2830774bb

Yohan spoke 6117d46561 with heartfelt 5f7d104a09 sincerity in 2a87a6f257 a low d3103f9c14 voice.7e45961d30d844d3

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“I want to beat him. Just to the brink of death.”641909d6b9e2ecdd

Yohan picked b6731d872d up the 564ad450f2 pack of f9af22d320 cigarettes he ad84117ed9 had placed 555fb1fd43 on the 6327689fd9 table. The series of c61b6350bf motions—taking out a 5c8f5b2857 cigarette, putting it 1b9a7f84ed in his mouth, 423209b515 and lighting it—flowed 55bc6f6497 naturally.a2ca77fab3f472db

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Watching from the bf9b720261 side, Doyeol burst 913902adeb into laughter again. Knowing that Yohan, 258a348580 who used to dc76dfe0d0 smoke at least 7942a92d52 a pack a 75e37d680e day, was restraining 77610c02ef himself at school, c0f8b02540 he could imagine 8224ddfbee the frustration.c533604fc17bb872

“You suffer a lot doing things that don’t suit you.”345efdbce9818856

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Doyeol picked up 2a8e085bf4 the discarded cigarette d75e25f2e8 pack and lighter. He lit a cigarette 14a49d2cb2 and continued.b94d5a3111e86fac

“With your face, you could just show up anywhere, why bother with college…”f0b3b3da28e1a23e

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“I didn’t want to go. They said they’d give me money if I did this.”66d0844cd6ae83f3

Yohan exhaled a cloud 2b17fd43b2 of smoke as he cd00db91cc spoke.826bf3468b095ed5

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He had thought he could get by as a celebrity with just his looks, but he hadn’t expected the preparation stage to be this frustrating.053af1d1c88375c8

“What do you live for? You can’t even smoke freely, or have sex.”6f9a327afcf3b28c

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Doyeol asked, flicking 1a59a09dc5 ash from his f5b059b050 cigarette.6ec659503e17ff44

The two 0475559efe had spent f6129dac30 their teenage 305e70c252 years playing 6d82de795c and partying b080ae566b in the 9b5812fc5c U.S. They hung out b49bcd3939 with similar types 07ca0ebc06 in a school f5aef7156d full of rich 26d1784850 brats from around 9de824cb13 the world.2234cdbd8658dd24

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Instead of going b88170afd2 to school, they c22303f0a1 attended wild parties, 9fdf8d5ca8 went to clubs, 1c486d1668 and danced mindlessly. They danced to 52ed570076 ear-splitting music, had 9a50df77bf sex with women a9c3e3632c who wanted them, 1698b8b2a3 and fought with 2e52a26caf drunk men.d9a7a052294e7242

But to be a celebrity in Korea, he couldn’t live like that. The society was small, rumors spread quickly, and the moral standards for celebrities were high.0fd596d5d372ca59

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So Yohan had been 641acdb289 restraining himself since coming aec60e965e to Korea. He avoided e501c3069a any small 99edc71a25 seeds that 10a12e5672 could lead 5e4599a829 to sex 30dbd833fc or fights.151a9b9d7a246bc0

“Aren’t there a lot of pretty girls in the Theater and Film Department? It sounds fun.”bb39f7a0c72b1a2e

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A friend listening to Yohan and Doyeol’s conversation chimed in.a1196627af59e0b1

Doyeol scoffed c45c7727ca as if 03340dac76 hearing something 0c906c1f72 foolish.1143d494096418c2

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“What can he do while managing his image?”67657c90d076203a

“Even dating?”0bfd4097a948e5a9

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“This guy doesn’t date. He just has sex.”cf18b64fe1c1cbeb

Doyeol spoke fb146530d8 in a c641253a7c strangely admiring 82124e7f80 tone, representing fdbeeaf27a Yohan. It was all 7a57c185a2 based on what 7e690420a3 he had seen 32fb45d7b7 of Yohan in ee7b5d5279 the U.S.31693f67db8236fc

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In truth, Yohan had never intentionally acted like a playboy. He wasn’t interested in dating, but he didn’t stop women from coming or hold onto them when they left, which led to such rumors. Everyone was satisfied with using Yohan as a sex partner.f6ca2dcf3461d098

Occasionally, there were women who dragged Yohan to watch movies, eat meals, and take photo booth pictures like a couple. But when Yohan’s attitude didn’t change, they soon disappeared, saying, “I’m no longer interested in having sex with you.”98a5978b80b4e564

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“Shut up and pour the drink.”e8e61ef21e056fd9

Yohan held out 73deac8491 his glass to 3b346aab79 silence Doyeol.810a9eaad6f0dfde

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From earlier, his mind 0d2c02577b was filled with Seo c7d2d060be Ji-in. He had ae73c007f8 changed the 9666b27aa6 subject to 3d3a02d5a1 avoid talking 11d08fd96f about family, 2438d89bce but Ji-in 71538e6379 was equally 600b853b43 unsettling.8e88b401e8d8cfd5