SB Ch 14

“Feeling better now?”

The lingering tension in his heart had completely dissipated. Realizing that Chae Beomjoon had deliberately joked with him, Haeyoon pouted. Did he really have to do that?

“Your personality is really weird…”

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“I was just thinking the same thing. Looks like we’re on the same wavelength.”

“Don’t make me laugh.”

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The light joke further softened the atmosphere. Haeyoon laughed absurdly and suddenly remembered his conversation with Ahn Yewon.

Yewon was right. At first, he didn’t believe it, and while he criticized Chae Beomjoon’s personality, he was actually a really good person. He was cheerful and kind.

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Of course, Haeyoon had met many cheerful and kind men. But what made this man particularly good was his maturity. Unlike foreigners who were all about “you do you, I do me,” and didn’t care about acceptance, Chae Beomjoon had a certain ‘brotherly’ quality that was on a different level.

This isn’t so bad…Feeling better, Haeyoon rubbed his cheek against Chae Beomjoon’s shoulder. Just then, he felt something hard under his moving buttocks. It was Chae Beomjoon’s cock.

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“…Mister.”

Seo Haeyoon had come once while receiving oral and had unknowingly ejaculated while being fisted, leaving him with an empty feeling in his testicles. Meanwhile, Chae Beomjoon’s cock was still hard. Come to think of it, neither Haeyoon nor Chae Beomjoon himself had touched his genitals during all this commotion in the car.

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Haeyoon wasn’t so heartless as to ignore his partner after coming and leaving them unsatisfied.

“Should I touch you? You haven’t come yet.”

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Thinking he could do at least this much, Haeyoon asked while looking at him. Chae Beomjoon burst into laughter.

Soon, the hand that had been stroking Seo Haeyoon’s back moved up. He caressed Haeyoon’s cheek, flushed from the heat filling the car, and confessed,

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“I came once.”

“…Liar.”

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As far as Haeyoon knew, Chae Beomjoon hadn’t touched his own cock since getting in the car.

He hadn’t even touched it once, so how could he have come? Scoffing in disbelief, Chae Beomjoon pulled down his pants as if to prove it. His exposed cock was indeed wet, as if it had been rained on.

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Seeing the abundant semen in his underwear, Haeyoon was astonished. Was this even possible? After a moment of thought, he couldn’t hide his suspicion and asked accusingly,

“Mister…you’re not some kind of sexual deviant, are you? You didn’t come just from putting your hand inside me, did you?”

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If that were the case, it would be like a horror movie. If he had methodically planned and executed this just for continuous fisting…But before his imagination could run wild, Chae Beomjoon shook his head.

“What are you talking about? I came from seeing your face while you were feeling good. It was too lewd.”

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“…”

Was this a compliment? Embarrassed, Haeyoon fell silent. Chae Beomjoon, thinking this silence was further cause for suspicion, chuckled and added an explanation.

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“Have you never recorded yourself? When you come, your expression is quite something.”

“Ah…You came just from seeing my ‘quite something’ expression?”

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“You’re cute. Thinking it’s a compliment and getting all proud.”

“…”

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Offended by his tone, Haeyoon called him out, and Chae Beomjoon laughed as if he had expected that reaction. Blushing, Haeyoon glared at him. Chae Beomjoon finally laughed out loud, his shoulders shaking.

The sound of his laughter was pleasant, and a smile spread across Haeyoon’s lips. No longer annoyed, Seo Haeyoon looked at the man who was casually sitting him on his knee.

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Chae Beomjoon’s cock was still hard, but he wasn’t asking to penetrate. Even though they had already done fisting, and penetration wouldn’t make much difference now, he was holding back because Haeyoon had said no earlier.

That was quite remarkable. He seemed like a sex-crazed maniac, but he wasn’t dominated by his lust. Usually, men who loved sex acted like mindless beasts…

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Seo Haeyoon quietly studied his handsome face and asked,

“Do you want to come again? Do you want to fuck me?”

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“You said you have work tomorrow. It’s fine, I came once already.”

“Once or twice is fine. I actually feel a bit unsatisfied. I think your cock feels much better than the fisting…What do you think? I’m still soft.”

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He deliberately touched his cock and asked provocatively. Chae Beomjoon fell silent and just looked at Seo Haeyoon.

When the laughter faded, his strikingly handsome features captured the gaze. He’s good-looking…damn, he’s really good-looking. As Haeyoon unconsciously swallowed, Chae Beomjoon let out a soft laugh and tilted his head towards him.

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“Don’t be cheeky, just open your mouth.”

“What? But I don’t do oral—”

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He tried to say he wouldn’t do it, but as he spoke, Chae Beomjoon’s wet tongue slipped into the gap between his lips.

The deep kiss that followed was breathtaking, blurring his vision. Seo Haeyoon felt Chae Beomjoon’s hand, which had been touching his back, now gripping both of their cocks together. It seemed like he wanted to finish with frotting instead of penetration. In that moment, a strange curiosity welled up within Seo Haeyoon.

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It was peculiar. He thought Chae Beomjoon was just a playboy, but his actions, devoid of chastity yet driven by conviction, piqued his interest.

* * *

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After their intense encounter, Chae Beomjoon tidied up the space without any hesitation. Leaving Seo Haeyoon seated, he wiped everything down with wet tissues and even reached through the ski-through opening leading to the trunk to retrieve a fresh set of clothes for him. The clothes fit perfectly, as if they had been prepared specifically for him.

If he was meticulous enough to keep such things in his car, it was impossible to guess how many people he’d been with there before. The thought made Haeyoon shake his head in disbelief. Beomjoon’s attentiveness, even wiping his face with a wet tissue and applying lotion afterward, was genuinely impressive. Even high-class escorts traveling for work probably weren’t this professional—though calling him “professional” felt strange too.

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After changing into the clothes first, Haeyoon leaned back comfortably in the backseat and watched as Beomjoon pulled out his own outfit. He handed Haeyoon a lounge set made of loose-knit fabric while he opted for a lightweight short-sleeved T-shirt and comfortable training pants.

The sporty look suited him surprisingly well. With his handsome features, Beomjoon could probably look good even in a sack. Though, truthfully, he was at his most attractive with nothing on.

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“…Enjoying the view?”

“Yeah, not bad.”

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After finally changing, Beomjoon tousled his hair while checking the rearview mirror. With his hair falling lightly over his forehead, he looked noticeably younger.

“Shall we grab some food now?”

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As his outstretched hand brushed Haeyoon’s lips, Haeyoon winced slightly. His lips, swollen and tender from Beomjoon’s earlier attentions, stung painfully. He tried to bite Beomjoon’s hand in retaliation but missed as Beomjoon opened the car door and stepped out.

Only after pulling his hand back to bite it lightly did Haeyoon let him go. “Ouch!” Beomjoon exaggerated, rubbing his hand and grumbling.

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“Why are you like this?”

“My dad told me never to let anyone walk all over me.”

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“Really? You seem to let everyone else do just that, though.”

“What? No way!”

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At Haeyoon’s retort, Beomjoon smirked and walked on. Haeyoon hurried after him, protesting adamantly.

“Don’t underestimate me. I never let things slide when I’m wronged.”

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“Is that so? I did hear a rumor about you smashing someone’s head with a beer bottle at a club. Was that true?”

“It was. Do you know how hard it was to settle that under the radar so my dad wouldn’t find out?”

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That incident, fueled by a moment of rage, had earned him a lengthy scolding from Ahn Yewon. Just remembering it made Haeyoon wince as if he could still hear her nagging. Seeing this, Beomjoon gently nudged him into the elevator, continuing his questioning.

“What about the others? Did you get back at Yeon Juheon? Or that scammer?”

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He pressed the button for the first floor as he spoke.

Yeon Juheon? A scammer? At the mention, Haeyoon recalled memories he had pushed to the back of his mind.

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Ah, those bastards. The ones who had twice caused him to owe a debt of gratitude to the man before him.

“Those damned guys!”

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Seeing Haeyoon grit his teeth in frustration, Beomjoon burst out laughing. Running a hand through his hair as he laughed, he lightly pushed Haeyoon’s waist, guiding him out of the elevator and into the lobby.

“So, you didn’t let them off easy either, right?”

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“…”

“You didn’t do anything, did you? See, I told you—you only stand your ground with me.”

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It was a pointed remark that highlighted the flaw in Haeyoon’s claim. While he felt a pang of guilt, he also had his reasons.

Unlike the beer-bottle incident, where the offender had directly crossed the line, the scammer had only attempted something nefarious but had been stopped by Beomjoon before anything could happen. As such, Haeyoon had missed the opportunity to exact revenge. Now, retaliating out of the blue would only result in him being charged with assault and ending up in jail. Despite his frustration, he had no choice but to let it go.

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“Well, they’re just would-be offenders…Mister, on the other hand, is a habitual criminal with at least 37 convictions under his belt.”

“Oh, so being a petty criminal is worse than attempted rape?”

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“If someone keeps being a nuisance right in front of me, I’d lock them up first. As for those other guys, if they try anything again, they’ll get the death penalty.”

“Really? You won’t give me the death penalty?”

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“Petty criminals usually don’t get sentenced to death…”

Seo Haeyoon glanced sideways at Chae Beomjoon as he replied. He felt a little guilty for being dismissive toward someone who had saved him twice from those jerks. But Beomjoon seemed pleased with the conclusion regardless, smiling as he said, “What an honor.”

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“…Is this the right way?”

“Yes, though it’s already prime dinner time, so we might not make it before the last order. But yeah, this is the right way. Just cross here.”

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Even though he had only glanced at their destination once earlier, Chae Beomjoon found the way effortlessly. Following closely behind, Haeyoon observed him intently.

Ahn Yewon had once described Beomjoon as a complete player. When Haeyoon heard that, he assumed Beomjoon was just another guy obsessed with sex, no different from other men.

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But he was wrong. While Beomjoon did enjoy sex, it didn’t carry the same reckless vibe Haeyoon had expected. He wasn’t the kind of person who’d resort to coercion or disregard his partner’s boundaries in pursuit of fleeting pleasure.

“My dream is to die from overexertion during sex.”

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That’s why it baffled Haeyoon to hear someone like him say such a thing. If he liked it so much, shouldn’t he want to enjoy it for as long as possible? Why wish to die while doing it? Or had Haeyoon taken his words too seriously? Maybe it was just a joke?

Unable to suppress his curiosity, Haeyoon finally asked, “Mister.”

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“If you ever start calling me hyung, I might just lose it,” Beomjoon quipped with a sly smile.

Ignoring his teasing, Haeyoon got straight to the point. “Why is your dream to die during sex?”

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“…”

For once, Beomjoon didn’t immediately respond. He merely glanced at Haeyoon before staying silent, walking steadily while guiding him across the street with a hand on his shoulder.

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Judging by his expression, he wasn’t avoiding the question. It seemed more like he needed time to answer. So Haeyoon waited patiently as they reached the restaurant, where Beomjoon added his name to the waiting list. Then, with a subtle nod toward the back of the building, Beomjoon finally spoke.

“I can’t tell you this story without a cigarette.”

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“I don’t have one.”

Having planned for a quick dinner, Haeyoon had only brought his phone and card. Shaking his head, he replied. Beomjoon chuckled, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket—the same brand he had lent Haeyoon at the club.

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Red, with a camel logo.

“I’ve got it.”

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When had he managed to grab that? Beomjoon was nothing if not thorough in his preparations. Nodding, Haeyoon followed him to a spot with a tin can serving as an ashtray.

“Not cold?”

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The sun had set, and a cool breeze was blowing. Fortunately, the clothes Beomjoon had lent Haeyoon were warm enough.

“I’m fine.”

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At his nod, Beomjoon opened the pack, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with practiced ease. “Don’t smoke often, do you? I don’t smell it on you much.”

“I don’t.”

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“Same here. I only smoke on occasions like this. I don’t even have time to smoke normally.”

Placing the cigarette between Haeyoon’s lips, Beomjoon lit it for him. Haeyoon took a puff and immediately found it harsh, exhaling the smoke quickly. His gaze shifted to Beomjoon, who lit his own cigarette with a slight tilt of his head, shadows accentuating his sharp features.

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The flicker of the lighter illuminated his defined nose, well-shaped lips, and long, narrow eyes, momentarily stealing Haeyoon’s focus.

Beomjoon exhaled softly, smoke curling around his face as his features reappeared through the haze. His face was strikingly attractive, drawing Haeyoon in like a magnet. Fixing his gaze on Beomjoon’s lips, Haeyoon waited for him to speak.

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“My father was in the mob too. He passed away when I was five.”

The story began with a poignant introduction, offering a glimpse into Chae Beomjoon’s past.

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“My father died when I was five while protecting Lady Su Seonhwa, the wife of our chairman. Now, I wouldn’t find it strange to call her my mother. After that, I was raised under the care of the chairman and Lady Su as if I were their child.”

So that’s how he ended up as an assistant to a gang leader—not as a member but as someone tied to unexpected circumstances. His financial stability, unusual for someone in his role, now made sense given this background.

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Haeyoon hadn’t expected such a heavy story. Feeling a bit out of depth, he bit his lip in hesitation. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. In response, Chae Beomjoon casually reached out, lightly tapping Haeyoon’s lower lip as if to dismiss the apology.

“It wasn’t bad—both the chairman and Lady Su treated me well, and the younger siblings followed me like family. But still…I’d sometimes feel this emptiness. Like life lacked meaning, you know?”

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Without needing further explanation, Haeyoon understood.

Anyone who’s lost someone close has faced that void—the haunting thought that no matter how hard you live, you’ll eventually end up like the ones who’ve left. The creeping realization: What’s the point of all this?

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Haeyoon had also wrestled with that hollow feeling at one point in his life.

“And then, at a relatively young age, I had my first experience. Well, by today’s standards, maybe not so young, but compared to my friends at the time, I was ahead of the curve.”

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With those words, Chae Beomjoon took another drag from his cigarette, turning his head slightly to exhale into the wind. The sharp line of his jaw and the rugged curve of his Adam’s apple drew Haeyoon’s gaze.

As the cigarette smoldered between Chae Beomjoon’s fingers, Haeyoon found himself captivated by the shadows playing across his face. A man he thought was lighthearted carried such a heavy past, and Haeyoon felt himself pulled toward him.

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“…That day changed my life,” Chae Beomjoon said, his lips curling into a faint smile as he looked directly at Haeyoon. His gaze was probing, almost alluring, skimming over Haeyoon’s eyes and lips before continuing.

“It’s unrelated, but my father’s funeral was a grand affair. I didn’t fully grasp what it meant that my father wouldn’t return to me. But I remember holding the chairman’s hand as we entered the hall. Hundreds of members bowed deeply to me and my father’s portrait, shouting their thanks and pledging to never forget him.”

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“Your father lived an incredible life,” the chairman had said, likely to mask his own guilt. And so, young Chae Beomjoon didn’t grieve.

Or rather, he didn’t comprehend the concept of death. To him, his father had simply achieved a glorious legacy.

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“So I didn’t feel sad about my father’s death, but that changed on the day of my first experience. In that moment, a thought struck me—What’s the point of receiving gratitude from hundreds of people? My father will never experience something as incredible as this. Suddenly, I pitied him.”

“…”

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“Sex was the most incredible thing I’d ever experienced. And in that moment, I realized my father couldn’t feel that—or anything else, for that matter. He was gone, incapable of joy or sorrow. That’s when I truly understood what death meant.”

The glory he once associated with his father’s passing vanished. In its place was the stark realization that his father was just a lifeless shell, incapable of experiencing anything ever again.

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“That’s when I made up my mind: I won’t leave this world feeling empty like my father did. I’ll die doing what I love most. And since what I love most is sex…well, my life’s goal became dying mid-act. Does that make sense?”

As the story ended, Chae Beomjoon flicked the short cigarette butt into the ashtray and smacked his lips, as if dissatisfied. Instead of lighting a new cigarette, he grasped Haeyoon’s wrist, pulled him closer, and placed his lips on Haeyoon’s fingers, drawing a drag from Haeyoon’s forgotten cigarette before grinning.

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“When I tell this story, people always say my reasoning doesn’t make sense. That I’m just making excuses. That it’s pathetic.”

“Do they?”

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“Do you think I’m pathetic too?”

The question carried no self-pity, only genuine curiosity. It was clear Chae Beomjoon didn’t see himself as pitiful.

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He waited for an answer, blinking curiously, and Haeyoon took the cigarette Chae Beomjoon had left behind and placed it between his own lips.

He didn’t understand why people thought Chae Beomjoon’s philosophy was pitiful. Even if he had decided to die spitting on the pavement, Haeyoon wouldn’t have found it pathetic. To Haeyoon, the desire to die doing what you love wasn’t foolish—it was deeply relatable.

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“It’s not pathetic.”

“Really?”

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It wasn’t pathetic or funny.

Seo Haeyoon concluded that the way he dealt with death suited a man like Chae Beomjoon. It wasn’t strange to think and decide that way if it was the man in front of him. Moreover, when he thought of Chae Beomjoon, who purely enjoyed being with him, the means of sex he chose as a way of death seemed not ridiculous but rather noble.

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“Just like you.”

So, in response to his added answer, Chae Beomjoon erased the faint smile he had. His eyes turned red as if he had been caught off guard.

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However, before Seo Haeyoon could properly sense the change, he raised his hand to cover his face. He covered his forehead and eyes like someone with a headache and muttered.

“…I think I need to take some medicine.”

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It was an incomprehensible statement. What medicine? At that moment, an employee shouted from the road.

“Seo Haeyoon? The two people who made a reservation? Are you here?”

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At the voice calling him, Haeyoon threw the burning cigarette butt into the ashtray. Here, he answered loudly and turned around first.

However, until he disappeared from sight, Chae Beomjoon stood there. Hoping his heated face would cool down quickly.

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* * *

‘Do you think I’m pathetic too?’

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‘You’re not pathetic. Just like you.’

Before his father died, 5-year-old Chae Beomjoon was happy. He had never been unhappy for a single moment. Although he had no mother or other family members except his father, thanks to Chae Wonjoong, who took care of and cherished him, he could grow up without any wrinkles.

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His father, Chae Wonjoong, took care of Chae Beomjoon with all his heart, and when he took him to daycare, he always said the same thing.

‘I’ll pick you up in the evening, Beomjoon.’

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Then Chae Beomjoon would answer like this.

‘Come back safely, Dad.’

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It was something Chae Wonjoong taught him. It was a phrase filled with his wish to return to his son without any trouble, like a talisman.

Chae Wonjoong loved Chae Beomjoon so much. He loved his son, who became his reason to live and loved him without any conditions, more than anything in the world.

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But he couldn’t return to such a son and eventually became a cold corpse. He died, leaving only the honor derived from the members of the organization who sanctified his death.

At 5 years old, he was too young to understand. So, Chae Beomjoon could think that his father’s death, which was sent off by many members of the organization, was not sad.

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But when he experienced intense pleasure for the first time, that indifferent mourning shattered.

It was only then that he realized that his father, who had crossed the line of death, no longer had such intense pleasure, joy, or happiness. So, he realized that the greetings, respect, and glory left for him by the living were all meaningless.

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Perhaps it was at that moment that Chae Beomjoon truly realized his father’s death. The moment he realized that all of it was meaningless to the dead.

Thanks to his father’s sacrifice, Chae Beomjoon could grow up wealthy and happy under the care of Shin Kyoyeon and the narcissus, but in fact, he thought that he could have been happy with his father even if the narcissus had died instead of his father. It was around that time that his father’s death began to feel like a dog’s death.

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Of course, it was a story he had never told anyone due to the guilt that weighed on his heart. The very thought of thinking that way about the narcissus, who cherished and loved him, was very painful for Chae Beomjoon.

Anyway, wanting to die from overexertion was a dream born through such a complex thought process.

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A death respected and applauded by others, such a thing was useless after death, so he thought he would just do what he wanted and die. That’s how he came to think.

Many people heard that story, but only one person didn’t ask why the conclusion was like that.

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‘Just like you.’

Hearing those words, Chae Beomjoon suddenly felt something like anxiety and searched for the tranquilizer in the car. He wanted to explain the sensation of his mouth drying, his heart pounding as if it would burst, and one side of his chest aching as a disease.

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Sitting at his desk, recalling the remaining memories, Chae Beomjoon sighed briefly and rested his chin on his right palm.

The busy schedule of the representative was displayed on the monitor. Although it was reduced, Shin Kyoyeon and his assistant secretary, Chae Beomjoon, had a lot to do as it was the time to prepare for the full-fledged succession of the group.

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He had to visit the strategic planning office after work today because he had someone to meet. It was a schedule that required driving to Yeouido.

After that, he would go to Seo Haeyoon’s house. Since work would likely end late on Friday, Seo Haeyoon had invited him to wait at his 38th-floor apartment, as Beomjoon had suggested.

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His heart was already trembling. Not because of Seo Haeyoon, but perhaps because of the anticipation of seeing the musician side of the man who ‘overwhelmed’ him. There would surely be a double bass in that house.

Could he ask if he played the double bass when he saw it? He was afraid of being treated like a stalker if he made a mistake, given the man’s notoriously bad temper.

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But if he could see him play just once, really just once, he would have no more to wish for.

He had seen Seo Haeyoon standing alone on stage, but by the time Chae Beomjoon discovered him, the performance was already over. So he couldn’t imagine Seo Haeyoon lowering his eyes and drawing the bow. He wanted to know if he always made such an expression while playing or if it was just that day.

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So this was just curiosity about a talented musician. While dismissing his desire to know more about him as mere interest, Chae Beomjoon kept imagining him drawing the bow in his mind.

“Chief, aren’t you going to eat?”

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It was Kim Jiyeon’s voice, announcing lunchtime, that woke Chae Beomjoon, who had been lost in thought.

Lunch? Already? Surprised, he checked the time and saw it was 1 o’clock. Realizing he had wonderfully embezzled an hour’s worth of wages, he smiled at Kim Jiyeon.

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“…Ah, I’ll ask the boss and go. You go ahead.”

“Yes, yes. I’ll be back.”

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But it was only after sending Kim Jiyeon off with a smile that he realized what he had been doing all this time.

Had he been thinking about Seo Haeyoon for that entire hour?

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Chae Beomjoon frowned at the dark monitor and shook his head.

No, the logic was wrong. Seo Haeyoon was his sex partner, so it was like thinking about sex. Chae Beomjoon was a person who thought about sex for 20 out of 24 hours anyway, so this was nothing special.

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Dismissing his deviation like that, Beomjoon got up for lunch. He knocked on the door of the boss’s office next door, heard a response, and entered.

Without even looking at the boss, he glanced at his reflection in the glass wall and asked. It was a handsome face today as well.

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“Aren’t you going to eat?”

But there was no answer. What? Narrowing his eyes, he turned his head to see Shin Kyoyeon staring intently at the monitor. He was leaning comfortably in his chair, smiling, with earphones plugged in.

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Since he had responded to the knock, it wasn’t that he couldn’t hear, but he was definitely ignoring him. He must be watching something again. Chae Beomjoon clicked his tongue inwardly and approached him.

“Boss.”

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“Our kid is quite smart.”

“What?”

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But as soon as he called him, a nonsensical answer came back. Chae Beomjoon looked down at his 33-year-old friend with a face that said, “What nonsense are you talking about again?”

Shin Kyoyeon was shamelessly pointing his chin at the monitor. Following his gaze, he saw Yoon Heesoo, who lived on the 43rd floor right above Chae Beomjoon’s house, studying hard in the living room. He was currently attending a cram school for college entrance exams.

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A math workbook? Was he learning geometry? Had the cat in that house become quite useful because he was learning from an expert? While thinking quietly, Shin Kyoyeon spoke in a proud tone.

“He’s already solving middle school math problems.”

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…Of course, he should be. Yoon Heesoo was 21 years old now. Even though he dropped out of high school and barely passed the GED with an average score, if he couldn’t solve middle school math at that age, it would mean he had a significant intelligence defect.

But he couldn’t say it as it was. Shin Kyoyeon was in a state of mindless love for Yoon Heesoo, with no reason or anything else. A single wrong word could mean living in the office for a month.

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I must not act like that. Chae Beomjoon vowed inwardly and nodded with a soulless smile.

“They say even a dog recites poetry after three years in a school, so Yoon Heesoo is better than a dog. He hasn’t been attending the cram school for long, but he’s already learning middle school math. Wow.”

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“Indeed, the teacher is important. It was a waste of time.”

When Yoon Heesoo started studying, Chae Beomjoon had told Shin Kyoyeon to either hire a private tutor or send him to a cram school if he wanted to send him to college. Yoon Heesoo, who was quite lacking, needed more certain teaching.

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The one who ignored all that advice and forced tutoring on me and Cheon Seju just because he didn’t want Yoon Heesoo wandering outside the house? The control freak standing right in front of me. And now he’s calling it a waste of time? If Cheon Seju had seen that shameless face, he wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight one either.

Why does everyone lose their humanity when it comes to love?…No, wait. Shin Kyoyeon didn’t have much humanity to begin with. Chae Beomjoon clicked his tongue inwardly and hurried him along.

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“So, are we going to eat or not?”

Eating had to come first, whether to handle afternoon tasks or anything else. Muscle loss was a concern, and Beomjoon had no desire to waste time at some voyeuristic pity party when he was itching to clock out early.

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“…I don’t know. What’s the schedule for the afternoon?”

It took a while for Kyoyeon to respond. He didn’t seem particularly hungry, but whatever he ate dictated when Beomjoon got to eat. Maintaining this impeccably sculpted physique required meals at the right times.

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Sighing inwardly, Chae Beomjoon pulled his phone from his pocket. Opening the shared schedule with the team, he briefed Kyoyeon on the two appointments lined up for the afternoon.

“…And at six, I’m heading to the Strategic Planning Department. Chief Cheon sent out an SOS.”

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Cheon Seju, head of the department, lived on the 41st floor, just like Beomjoon. At this explanation, Shin Kyoyeon tilted his head in mild curiosity.

“Is there a problem?”

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“No, just something he wants to ask me. Apparently, it’s not a conversation for the phone, so I said I’d drop by.”

The existence of the Strategic Planning Department, which operated through Shin Kyoyeon’s illicit M&A strategies, was known only to Kyoyeon, Beomjoon, and the team members. Even Shin Gyeongju, the chairman of DG, was unaware of it. Naturally, Beomjoon was the sole liaison for their covert operations.

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At this, Kyoyeon nodded.

“All right. For lunch, then…”

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But his words trailed off mid-thought. Glancing up from the desk in confusion, Chae Beomjoon saw that Kyoyeon’s attention was once again fixed on his monitor. Predictably, it was Yoon Heesoo he was staring at. His lips curved slightly into an involuntary smile, transforming his face from a cold, psychopathic expression to something startlingly tender and foolishly fond.

Chae Beomjoon had known Shin Kyoyeon before the accident, back when his mind had been intact. He also knew all too well the kind of person he had become after suffering brain damage.

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Through Kyoyeon, Beomjoon had learned how easily a man who’d lost his humanity could harm others. But he’d also come to understand the profound transformation love could bring to someone like Kyoyeon.

Though Beomjoon had always viewed “that” emotion negatively, Kyoyeon’s case hinted at its positive potential. At least Kyoyeon was trying to reclaim his lost humanity in front of Yoon Heesoo, and that was nothing short of miraculous.

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Looking back on how their relationship started, it was unimaginable they’d reach this point. Shin Kyoyeon had assaulted Yoon Heesoo, leaving him in utter despair. Yet, after what Beomjoon could only guess was an emotional rollercoaster, they’d come this far. Sometimes, it felt surreal.

“…Did you ever think you’d fall for him like this?”

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Lost in thought, Beomjoon suddenly voiced the question. Kyoyeon glanced up, his eyes curving in mild curiosity as if to ask, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, when you first saw Yoon Heesoo, did you ever think you’d love him this much?”

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“…No, I didn’t.”

As a friend, Kyoyeon responded to Beomjoon’s question as a friend. Brief and straightforward, his reply was followed by a quiet gaze out the window at the rain-drenched answer sheets Yoon Heesoo had left behind.

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“I just thought he was beautiful…The most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. But now, he’s the most precious.”

Hearing the word “precious” from the mouth of this former psychopath felt absurdly out of place. Yet his softly lit eyes betrayed a sincerity that couldn’t be denied. A man who once couldn’t understand others was now in love with someone. It was nothing short of miraculous.

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Could something like that happen to anyone? Could it even happen to me, someone who avoids love like the plague?

When Chae Beomjoon first met Seo Haeyoon, all he thought was that Haeyoon was beautiful. Struck by his elegance and aloof demeanor, he’d simply wanted to take him to bed.

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But now, that wasn’t the case. Beomjoon had grown to adore Haeyoon’s playful gestures, his bright laughter, and felt inexplicably drawn to the music he played.

What might come next was unclear. Perhaps, like Kyoyeon, Beomjoon might one day find even Haeyoon’s prickly, suspicious tendencies endearing.

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Inarguably, his feelings for Haeyoon were growing deeper and wider. Beomjoon now found himself curious about things he’d never asked a casual fling.

And the conclusion of these changes? Perhaps he…

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“Is it even possible for me to like someone?”

Yet, he couldn’t make sense of it. Sure, Seo Haeyoon was an attractive man, and his multifaceted nature naturally piqued curiosity. But was it truly possible for such a profound and transformative emotion to emerge from such trivial beginnings?

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“…Of course not.”

At the question, Shin Kyoyeon cut him off sharply, as if dismissing nonsense outright. The decisiveness of the response was so striking that it stirred defiance within him.

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Of course not? Of course, it’s possible for him too. Maybe not with Seo Haeyoon, but still. Beomjoon retorted curtly.

“Why? I’m human too. I can love.”

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“…”

Shin Kyoyeon raised an eyebrow and looked up at Chae Beomjoon. His mouth stiffened, and his impassive eyes scanned Beomjoon’s face. He looked as though he had heard something absurd.

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No, honestly, if even a psychopath can do it, why shouldn’t I? Beomjoon frowned at the thought.

With elegant composure, Shin Kyoyeon picked up the phone on his desk, opened his contact list, and dialed someone. When the voice on the other end responded, Beomjoon could only gape.

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“Chief Baek, come to headquarters immediately and take Chief Chae to the hospital. He doesn’t seem to be in his right mind.”

Chief Baek was one of Shin Kyoyeon’s closest aides, someone who would lead a group into knife fights when necessary. The words accompanying his name didn’t bode well.

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A hospital? Realizing that Shin Kyoyeon was instructing Baek Sung-hwan to drag him off, Chae Beomjoon exclaimed in disbelief.

“Are you crazy? Why are you calling Chief Baek?”

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But Shin Kyoyeon paid him no heed. Staring intently at the disoriented Beomjoon, he muttered a final instruction to the person on the line.

“…Send him to a psychiatric hospital. He’s lost it.”

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* * *

On Monday, he had a chest CT scan, and by Friday, he was getting a brain MRI. Chae Beomjoon, worried that the contrast agent might cause side effects like erectile dysfunction, resisted fiercely.

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“Chief Baek, I’m really fine!”

“Oh, Chief, why are you being like this? It’ll be over quickly. Come on, let’s go.”

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He tried to escape Baek Sung-hwan’s grasp and flee the hospital, but it was futile. Baek Sung-hwan was strong, and the crazy guy pulling his strings was resolute. Fearing that continued resistance might lead Shin Kyoyeon to arm Baek with a knife, Beomjoon had no choice but to comply with the tests.

“Fine! I’ll walk there myself, so let go already!”

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The absurdity of the situation didn’t escape him, but he knew Shin Kyoyeon was genuinely worried about him. After 33 years of knowing each other, ignoring that concern and getting angry wasn’t an option.

Naturally, the test results came back normal. His brain was perfectly fine, and a precautionary blood test showed all metrics were within normal ranges. He wasn’t addicted to any substances either.

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When he relayed the results in an exasperated tone, Shin Kyoyeon was silent for a moment before responding.

─ That can’t be right.

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The tone suggested he still doubted Beomjoon’s sanity. In response, Beomjoon was even referred to a psychiatrist. He flatly refused, but Shin Kyoyeon wouldn’t believe him.

“Hello!”

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Because it was another last-minute appointment, the seasoned professor was away at a conference. Instead, a relatively inexperienced doctor ended up examining Beomjoon. Clearly nervous about meeting a VIP, the doctor tried to steady himself as he greeted him.

“Hi.”

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“Ah, uh, hello!”

Judging by the doctor’s bedhead, he’d probably been dragged out of a nap in the break room. With a resigned smile, Beomjoon nodded politely.

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Still, what Beomjoon needed wasn’t some silly verification but denial and avoidance. No doctor could diagnose a patient unwilling to acknowledge his own transformation or feelings.

“Uh, um…Everything seems fine. All within the normal range.”

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Predictably, the findings were normal, and Beomjoon finally thought it was over. He immediately called Shin Kyoyeon.

─ Let’s change hospitals.

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“What?…”

But when informed of the clean bill of health, Shin Kyoyeon suggested switching hospitals. There was no reasoning with someone this obstinate.

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At this rate, he’d end up in a psych ward undergoing drug therapy. All because he suggested he might be capable of love? What’s so wrong with me? He felt wronged but knew arguing with an irrational psychopath was futile. Instead, Beomjoon decided to get creative.

“To be precise, it’s not that there’s absolutely no problem. The doctor said that due to accumulated mental fatigue, my mind might have been pushed to the edge, leading to such extreme thoughts. I’ve been really busy lately. Also, my father’s memorial day is coming up soon. And there have been various incidents recently…I guess I’ve unknowingly gotten a bit worn out.”

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As he said it aloud, he couldn’t help but think it was utterly ridiculous nonsense. His father’s memorial day? Sure, he always marked it with care, but he’d never timed his melancholy to coincide with it. Far from being exhausted, lately, thanks to Seo Haeyoon, every day had felt like mating season for him.

But Shin Kyoyeon seemed deeply shocked by the love talk from a man like him, aged 38. After quietly listening to his explanation, he said something he couldn’t believe.

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─ Then take a break. Better to rest for a few days before your mind completely breaks down, wouldn’t you agree?

His tone was infuriating, but he let it slide, focusing on the unexpected benefit: a vacation. It wasn’t a long one, though—just Saturday through Tuesday, four days in total.

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Still, that was something. Before Shin Kyoyeon had a partner, he couldn’t rest properly even on weekends or holidays. Thinking back to those times, the current days felt like paradise, and he had to enjoy them while he could.

“Yes, uh-huh, boss, then, I’ll see you Wednesday, cough-cough.”

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Though he wasn’t actually sick, pretending to be ill led him to fake a cough without meaning to. Detecting a subtle silence on the other end of the line, he quickly hung up before Shin Kyoyeon could sense anything strange.

Suddenly, it felt like energy was coursing through his body. Vacation. In the middle of autumn, no less, not during a holiday or official break.

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It had never happened since he started working. How could he make the most of this without regret? Pondering that, he naturally opened his contacts. Of course, the number he instinctively called was Seo Haeyoon’s.

─ Yeah?

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“Haeyoon.”

─ You’re done?

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Hearing his indifferent voice, he couldn’t help but smile. What was this? Forcing himself to suppress the grin, he asked, “Yes, I finished earlier than expected. Are you home? Should I head to the address you sent me?”

─ Yeah, what about dinner? I was just about to step out for something to eat.

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“Do you have ingredients at home? I can cook for you.”

─ I don’t cook, so there’s nothing. Mister, will it take long for you to get here? If you’ll be quick, let’s eat out and head back.

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“Then I’ll be there soon. I’ll meet you at the apartment parking lot in about 30 minutes.”

─ Got it. Call when you arrive. I’ll come down.

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“Wait for me.”

Every Wednesday and Friday, Seo Haeyoon had joint rehearsals at the Seoseon Grand Theater. If it was just for fun, meeting on his non-working days would’ve been less tiring, but Wednesday and Friday were always part of his schedule.

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Despite his slender frame, his stamina was extraordinary. He drove energetically, thinking about the soft feel of the man who always nestled perfectly in his arms.

* * *

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Today, the assistant principal didn’t join the rehearsal, so Seo Haeyoon was in a particularly good mood. Moreover, there was an unexpected event after practice.

A cellist he’d only exchanged greetings with before asked if he’d be interested in joining their amateur string quintet. It wasn’t for performances but for occasional uploads on their YouTube channel. They needed a new double bassist after one left and thought of Seo Haeyoon as a potential member.

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Although the compliment wasn’t about his playing being exceptional, the mere thought of him crossed their mind, and the offer itself made his heart race. He replied that he’d think about it and left, but the experience of receiving such a proposal from a fellow musician was new. It felt unfamiliar yet exciting.

Unable to hide his excitement, Seo Haeyoon returned home and took a relaxing bath for the first time since starting joint rehearsals. As he emerged, smelling pleasant and preparing to head out for dinner, a call from Chae Beomjoon came. Hearing that his work had wrapped up early brought a surprising sense of delight. Feeling that the day was turning out perfectly, Seo Haeyoon readily agreed to meet him and waited.

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When he came down after receiving a text saying Beomjoon had arrived, the man was waiting, dressed impeccably in a three-piece suit, as always.

On anyone else, it might’ve seemed overdone, but with his unique aura, it felt just right. He looked simply attractive. Sexy, even.

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“Mister, is there anything you want to eat? Since it’s your first visit to my place, let me treat you.”

“I’m not picky, so pick something you’d like, Haeyoon.”

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Even the privilege of choosing the menu was handed back to him. After some thought, Seo Haeyoon decided on the pizza place in the basement of the next building. Eating the American-style pizza after a long time lifted his mood even further.