SB Ch 13

“The results of the hormone test are completely normal.”

“…No issues at all?”

“Correct. You’ve already had a vasectomy, so a semen analysis is largely unnecessary, but you’re healthy overall. Your testosterone levels also exceed the average for men in their thirties. Based on what you described—hot flashes, palpitations, and night sweats—it seems more likely to be cardiovascular-related than early male menopause. After all, you’re not experiencing hallmark symptoms like depression or diminished libido.”

Cardiovascular disease? Chae Beomjoon frowned deeply.

Last Friday, while lamenting the possibility of early menopause, Seo Haeyoon had expressed a wish to enjoy their sex life as much as possible before it truly set in. As a result, the weekend had been spent glued to each other.

Fortunately, there were no issues during sex—neither with arousal nor ejaculation. In fact, everything seemed even more vigorous than usual. But early Saturday morning, as he watched Seo Haeyoon sleep peacefully, Beomjoon felt an odd sense of weakness and sentimentality wash over him. He hadn’t been able to sleep at all that night.

By Sunday morning, after sending Seo Haeyoon home, Beomjoon spent the rest of the day obsessing over the cause of his strange feelings until he finally decided to visit a doctor.

He needed a diagnosis for this inexplicable phenomenon.

But it wasn’t early menopause, after all. That had been his most plausible explanation. Suppressing the nagging doubts that arose deep within him, Beomjoon rose from his seat.

“Then I should get checked out in that department.”

“Yes, Chief. I’ll contact the cardiology department immediately.”

The medical coordinator, who had been standing quietly nearby, pulled out her phone.

Soon after, Beomjoon followed her to the VIP waiting room. A doctor arrived, conducted a brief examination, and left again. While waiting for a CT scan, he restlessly toggled his phone screen on and off.

Since meeting Seo Haeyoon, he’d updated his messenger status to say he wasn’t taking calls for the time being. This discouraged people from asking if he was free but led to several questions about whether he’d started seeing someone. Some even staked their claims in advance, asking him to get in touch when he was available again.

If rumors about menopause spread, though, he’d be blocked immediately. No one would come looking for him again. All his hundreds of contacts were tied to such relationships. Still, there was one person who might actually welcome the news.

Hypochondriac 

Did you go to the hospital? What did they say? Is it menopause? 10:11

The message was from Seo Haeyoon. The three question marks didn’t convey concern.

Seo Haeyoon just wanted confirmation—that Beomjoon wasn’t a man who could make his heart race. At this moment, Haeyoon would be hoping that Beomjoon’s behavior was simply a symptom of menopause.

While the results indicated otherwise, Beomjoon wasn’t ready to share the truth. Who knew what kind of baseless suspicions Haeyoon might come up with next? Besides, he still had to consider other potential health issues.

If Beomjoon told this suspicious man it wasn’t menopause, Haeyoon would undoubtedly bolt. But since Beomjoon now knew who Haeyoon really was, he wasn’t about to let him go so easily. After all, Beomjoon had questions about double bassist Seo Haeyoon. For now, he wanted to keep Haeyoon close and observe him.

Honestly, this level of self-consciousness was almost pathological. Thinking this, Beomjoon glared at the chat screen, where Haeyoon’s name stood out boldly. Then, deep in thought, he scanned their conversation history.

There was no idle chatter. Their exchanges were limited to scheduling their prior meetings—two meals, a few sex encounters, and one rehearsal observation.

Given this limited connection, it seemed unlikely that Haeyoon’s suspicions would be correct. The doctor had suggested something like arrhythmia or temporary tachycardia. Maybe it was all the coffee he’d been drinking lately…

“Chief, I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Let me guide you. This way.”

“It’s my fault for coming without an appointment. Don’t worry about the wait.”

The coordinator’s voice snapped Beomjoon out of his thoughts. Following her, he let out a quiet sigh.

This hospital was renowned for its stellar medical staff, veritable modern-day Huas. Surely, by the end of this examination, he would uncover the cause of his condition.

* * *

From today onward, Chae Beomjoon decided to distrust modern medicine. Not because the eight-hour-long series of tests had failed to identify any issues.

He wasn’t petty enough to label doctors as quacks just because they charged millions for brief consultations without diagnosing his ailment.

“But there’s a limit to what tests at the hospital can reveal. That limit is the inability to diagnose diseases perceived through a third sense beyond human observation.”

“Psychogenic…menopause?”

Ultimately, after completing all the tests, the place where Chae Beomjoon found himself once more was the urology department. The urologist, who had been about to clock out but got roped back in by Chae Beomjoon, tried to hide the expression of disbelief in his eyes as he faced the man.

“It seems so.”

The one diagnosing Chae Beomjoon with psychogenic menopause wasn’t the doctor but Beomjoon himself. As though it was an indisputable fact, he spoke with a fervent gleam in his eyes. The urologist, wary of offending a VIP, nodded awkwardly, unable to refute or agree outright.

“Humans are ultimately just animals, aren’t they? That’s what this is about. Just like lesser males can’t stand tall in the presence of a dominant one, what I experienced was something similar.”

It wasn’t early-onset menopause—at least not according to the tests. His health metrics were impeccable. And though heart-related issues had been a strong suspect, the tests ruled those out too. Physically, Chae Beomjoon’s body was as youthful as that of someone in their late twenties.

Then what was the root cause of the symptoms he’d experienced? If not a physical issue, then it had to be psychological. Reflecting deeply on the matter, Beomjoon came to a logical conclusion—or so he believed.

Seo Haeyoon was not just his sexual partner but also a bassist whose music had made his heart race. Even before realizing Seo Haeyoon’s identity, Beomjoon had been impressed by the skill of the anonymous bassist whose music had resonated deeply with him.

So when Beomjoon finally pieced together that the renowned musician was Seo Haeyoon, the shock of discovering that someone so extraordinary had been so close to him left him sweating nervously.

The trembling heart he’d felt when seeing Seo Haeyoon at his home afterward wasn’t inexplicable, either—it was their first close interaction since Beomjoon learned Haeyoon’s true identity.

Anyone would react that way. Meeting a celebrated European football player or a national hero up close would make anyone feel overshadowed. Men, in particular, are sensitive to such feelings. That fleeting sense of defeat must have triggered temporary menopause-like symptoms.

…Admittedly, the logic was a bit flimsy, but it worked.

“Oh, so the person you encountered must be someone extraordinary.”

The doctor, pondering Beomjoon’s explanation, nodded slightly, as though it wasn’t entirely implausible. His eyes, however, betrayed how little conviction he had.

“Exactly. Doesn’t it seem like a reasonable explanation?”

“Yes. It doesn’t seem entirely impossible. Meeting someone overwhelming in stature or presence can have that effect. Men are particularly sensitive to those things, right? Haha. I can’t even imagine how big and intimidating the person must be to make someone like Chief feel that way…”

“…Right, well.”

From Beomjoon’s perspective, Seo Haeyoon was just under 180 cm tall—not overly imposing but above average, considering the national male height average of 173 cm in Korea. Enough to be considered tall.

And intimidating? Certainly. Judging by Seo Haeyoon’s temper, it wasn’t hard to imagine him being more aggressive than Beomjoon himself when angry.

“So, about a prescription…?”

“Perhaps a sedative would help.”

“Yes, understood.”

After a polite reply, the doctor thought for a moment before prescribing various medications, including a sedative for Beomjoon to take if the symptoms reappeared in the presence of the “specific person.”

However, it seemed unlikely Beomjoon would ever take the pills. Upon hearing from the pharmacist that the sedative could cause libido reduction as a side effect, he immediately shoved the prescription into the glove box of his car.

Libido reduction? Clearly a euphemism for erectile dysfunction. Ridiculous.

As he closed the glove box with a frustrated shove, Beomjoon shook his head vehemently.

“Ha.”

With a deep sigh, he turned to the car window and rolled it down, lighting a cigarette for the first time that day. Thick smoke filled the space, calming his frayed nerves.

Evening had already fallen. He hadn’t gone to work, hadn’t eaten, and had spent the entire day wandering the hospital only to be prescribed medication he’d never take. The injustice of it all gnawed at him.

What did I even do wrong?

The root of all this was Seo Haeyoon. If Seo Haeyoon hadn’t played such a seductive performance, his heart wouldn’t have raced. He wouldn’t have been shocked by the talent, nor felt overshadowed in his presence.

However, blaming it all on Seo Haeyoon was out of the question, as Seo Haeyoon was unaware that Chae Beomjoon had seen him perform. In fact, the two of them had never even exchanged a single word about Seo Haeyoon’s profession. If Beomjoon were to bring it up, it would undoubtedly lead to a misunderstanding and potentially being ghosted entirely.

After all, Seo Haeyoon was the type of person who, upon noticing that Beomjoon’s heart raced and his mood fluctuated, had already suspected that he might have feelings for him. If Beomjoon confessed to knowing about his double bass performances, it would only solidify the idea that he was a stalker, and he’d likely find himself under police investigation.

That was the kind of person Seo Haeyoon was.

Beomjoon didn’t want to admit that he had been overwhelmed by such a man. But in any case, it had to be a fact—because the alternative truth, if it existed, was far more terrifying.

Shuddering at the sudden chill that overtook him, Chae Beomjoon started his car. His destination was home.

There’s a saying that goes, “Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.” It was just as he was inwardly blaming Seo Haeyoon that the man himself showed up—when Beomjoon was less than a kilometer from home.

It was a weekday evening, the roads bustling with rush hour traffic. On the sidewalk to his right, a familiar figure caught his eye.

At first glance, Beomjoon merely turned his head away. But as the face flashed in his mind, he quickly glanced back. The man holding his phone and looking around as if searching for directions was unmistakably Seo Haeyoon.

The other day, during a casual conversation, Beomjoon had discovered that Seo Haeyoon had moved into his neighborhood. He’d entertained the thought that they might run into each other someday, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so soon.

The resentment he’d been feeling just a minute earlier vanished like the memory of a goldfish. Standing there, with his hair slightly tousled, Haeyoon looked fresh, elegant, and almost regal, making it impossible to look away.

Though Beomjoon wasn’t particularly thrilled to see him—given the day of stress he’d endured because of him—this chance encounter felt serendipitous. It seemed only fitting to seize the moment. With a short honk of the horn, he lowered the passenger-side window and leaned out to greet his neighbor.

“Where are you headed?”

“What’s this?”

Seo Haeyoon looked surprised. Turning off his phone’s screen, he scanned his surroundings briefly before naturally reaching for the passenger door. As always, he exuded the confidence of someone who assumed their actions would be welcomed. And, truthfully, there was no reason to refuse.

The door unlocked swiftly, and without a word, Haeyoon got into the car. The scent of his cologne wafted over, a fragrance Beomjoon was already familiar with. “Same perfume as always,” he thought with a faint smile, marveling at how well their tastes aligned. But before he could say more, Haeyoon turned abruptly to look him over from head to toe, his tone sharp.

“You ignored my message earlier. Is your menopause any better?”

“…”

“No luck, huh?”

“Sigh.”

Rather than showing any concern, Haeyoon’s expression was more accusing, as if he were convinced it really was menopause. Meeting that gaze, Beomjoon let out a silent sigh.

It wasn’t menopause. It wasn’t a cardiovascular issue. And it most certainly wasn’t because he liked Seo Haeyoon. But if he denied the first two, Haeyoon would undoubtedly jump to the conclusion that it was the last.

What could he say to avoid hearing “Goodbye” for good? After a brief pause to consider, he replied:

“It’s just temporary tachycardia. The doctor thinks it was due to being under the weather.”

Tachycardia seemed like a reasonable explanation for the symptoms he’d experienced. But this answer alone wasn’t enough to satisfy Seo Haeyoon, who narrowed his eyes, silently demanding an explanation for the mood swings.

“And the emotional ups and downs?”

“That’s probably from work-related stress. The doctor said it might’ve caused some temporary depressive symptoms. Look in the glove box. I even got a prescription.”

Thank goodness he hadn’t thrown it away. To emphasize his point, Beomjoon opened the glove box himself. Seo Haeyoon quickly grabbed the prescription bag and checked its contents. When he confirmed that it indeed contained sedatives, his expression softened slightly.

“You must be under a lot of stress.”

“Of course. My boss is practically a psychopath.”

“Really? There’s always one of those types everywhere. You must be going through a lot.”

“Yeah…Even today, he threw a fit because I didn’t show up to work.”

Muttering gloomily, Beomjoon lowered the corners of his lips. Seo Haeyoon suddenly burst out laughing, his face lighting up as he let out a full-hearted laugh.

Why is he laughing? Beomjoon glanced over, puzzled, only to be rendered speechless by the sight of Haeyoon’s flushed cheeks, radiant with amusement.

His face, glowing with laughter, was breathtakingly beautiful. And just like that, the tachycardia hit again.

I must be losing it, Beomjoon thought, trying desperately to ignore the pounding of his heart as he redirected the conversation.

“You dress like a kid when you’re not working.”

Today, as on the previous occasion when Beomjoon had seen him at home, Seo Haeyoon was wearing comfortable clothes—a loose sweatshirt and shorts, perfect for the season. On days when he had rehearsals, he’d wear a shirt instead.

But Haeyoon’s narrowed eyes at that comment sent a jolt through Beomjoon. Oh no. Only Seo Haeyoon was supposed to know that today wasn’t a rehearsal day. Realizing his slip, he braced himself for the question.

“How do you know I didn’t have work today?”

Chae Beomjoon answered calmly, despite his earlier nerves about making another mistake. He was used to finding himself in such awkward situations, and today was no exception to his ability to adapt quickly.

“Looks like the perfect outfit for an unemployed guy, doesn’t it? Who shows up to work dressed like that at your age?”

“…You don’t even know my age.”

“Isn’t it obvious? A guy in his thirties trying way too hard to look like he’s still in his twenties.”

“You didn’t do a background check on me, did you?”

Even as Chae Beomjoon played it off with feigned nonchalance, Seo Haeyoon didn’t let the suspicion fade from his sharp gaze. His distrust was relentless.

“I have a rough idea of Yewon’s age. I think I heard it a year or two ago, and you two are friends, right? You must be the same age.”

He had never directly asked Ahn Yewon her age, but she seemed to be in her early thirties. That guess would hold even if Seo Haeyoon double-checked with her later—she might not even recall. After all, they’d crossed paths often enough.

Apparently, bringing up Ahn Yewon was the right move, as Seo Haeyoon seemed to accept the explanation. “Right, same age,” he agreed, then suddenly glanced over at Chae Beomjoon’s attire.

“Mister, what’s with the lack of a suit today?”

“I told you, I went for a health checkup. Did you even listen?”

“You went to the hospital in the morning instead of heading to work?”

Answering truthfully would likely earn him unwelcome comments about hypochondria or, worse, being treated like an old man. Not wanting to deal with that, Chae Beomjoon pretended to check the traffic signal and changed the subject.

“Yeah, something like that. Where were you headed, though? Your place is the other way, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I was on my way to grab dinner, but the map’s acting weird, and I got lost.”

“…You got lost?”

“No, the map’s just broken! I found your place just fine last time, didn’t I?”

To be fair, Chae Beomjoon’s house was practically in plain sight of the building Seo Haeyoon had pointed out as his own. If someone failed to find it even with that landmark, their sense of direction wasn’t the issue—their intelligence was.

Chae Beomjoon shot Seo Haeyoon a mildly skeptical look before holding out his hand.

“Where’s the place? I’ll take you there.”

He was asking for the phone, and Seo Haeyoon casually handed it over, the map already open on the screen.

“It’s a restaurant. Here.”

The directions seemed off, as if the GPS had flipped the orientation. Adjusting the phone to align north on the map, Chae Beomjoon finally identified the destination. It was a well-known spot in the area.

“That’s near Seongsu Station. Not really walking distance.”

“The weather’s nice. I thought I’d go for a stroll.”

After a brief moment of deliberation, Chae Beomjoon turned his car toward his house. He needed dinner, too, and meeting Seo Haeyoon by chance seemed like a good excuse to eat together. If time allowed, they could even head back to his place afterward.

“Then buy me dinner. I’ve been starving all day after those tests.”

“You’ve got some nerve, Mister.”

“Come on, I’m helping you find your way in this maze of a city. It’s the least you can do, right? Don’t be stingy.”

“And what’ll you do for me if I do?”

“I’ll…take care of your laundry.”

The response came so fast it caught Seo Haeyoon off guard, making him laugh in disbelief. He stared at Chae Beomjoon like he was dealing with a weirdo, then shook his head as if to say, Cut it out.

“That’d be a reward for you, wouldn’t it? I hear you like that sort of thing, Mister.”

“You’re no different. You were practically ecstatic about it, weren’t you? Don’t you remember?”

“Not really.”

Calling him out for feigning indifference, Chae Beomjoon glanced at him knowingly. As he navigated into an underground parking lot, memories of Seo Haeyoon clutching the back of his head, pinning it firmly, came flooding back.

Not to mention that time he’d grabbed a fistful of his hair. Chae Beomjoon had thought he’d lose a patch of it that day. And now he was pretending he couldn’t remember? Unbelievable.

“Want me to jog your memory?”

Having parked, Chae Beomjoon turned to Seo Haeyoon with a suggestive tone. Seo Haeyoon smiled faintly, his lips curving in a way that seemed to ask, What are you going to do about it?

Apparently, dinner wasn’t the most pressing issue. Chae Beomjoon leaned the driver’s seat forward, motioning toward the back seat.

“Get in the back. Take your clothes off.”

* * *

Seo Haeyoon unbuttoned his pants without hesitation. At his age, there was no room for shyness when it came to sex.

“Hah…hah…”

Wearing only a sweatshirt, he exposed his smooth, hairless lower body and panted. His long legs kicked about in the cramped space of the car.

Chae Beomjoon was pressing down firmly on Haeyoon’s straightened thigh with his small knee, making it touch his lower abdomen. His face was buried between the exposed legs.

“Ah, hah…”

Haeyoon’s wet genitals flickered on his white belly. They were already reddened at the tip from receiving oral once.

“Ah, feels good, yeah…”

A thick tongue licked across the perineum, drenched in saliva. Every time Chae Beomjoon licked the wrinkles and perineum like a dog in heat, Haeyoon bit his lip, trying to suppress a moan.

It felt so good that he thought he might scream if he moved even a little. He had been tired from practicing all day, but now he felt a surge of energy. Haeyoon accepted the sharp, awakening pleasure and lifted his hips higher.

“Below, ah, suck my hole…”

“Haah, you’re such a pervert, Haeyoon.”

“Hurry up…”

The air inside the car was hot and steamy. He could feel the sweat rising under his thick sweatshirt. Haeyoon panted and pulled his shirt up. Rolling up the end and biting it, he began to touch his own chest with his hands. Chae Beomjoon’s hands were busy pressing down on Seo Haeyoon’s legs, so there was no one else to stimulate his nipples except himself. Seeing this, Chae Beomjoon let out a hollow laugh.

“Will we see each other again?”

A moist breath spilled into the crack of his raised buttocks. Chae Beomjoon’s sigh seemed to reach the tip of his nose. The sticky, humid air filled his lungs.

Feeling the heat rise from deep within his body, Haeyoon scratched his nipples with his fingertips. A shiver ran down his spine from the stimulation on the thin skin. However, unlike the chilling pleasure, his mind gradually became hazy. In the midst of his fading senses, Haeyoon twisted his aching body.

“Ah, uh…”

“Should I, haah, put a clip on your nipples…”

Chae Beomjoon grumbled softly and opened his mouth. His upper lip touched the perineum, and his lower lip touched below the hole. His tongue gently moved up and down between them. The sensation, like licking cream, made his body crave more.

“Ah, ah, feels good, yeah, ah.”

Haeyoon twitched and spread his bottom wide. Every time Chae Beomjoon licked the sensitive area, a thrilling pleasure spread down his spine. He wanted the wet inner walls to be pounded hard, the pleasure was so intense.

Enjoying that intense excitement, Haeyoon continued to fondle his own chest. As he pinched and rubbed his nipples with his fingertips, he felt as if Chae Beomjoon’s tongue was reaching there too. Perhaps it was because of the humid air, like being underwater. Feeling as if Chae Beomjoon was licking his entire body, Haeyoon wrapped his sock-clad legs around Chae Beomjoon’s head and pulled him closer.

“More, uh, suck me more…”

“Tell me you remember.”

At that urging, Chae Beomjoon smiled and stopped moving. He gently pressed his nose against the perineum and demanded.

“Tell me you remember. Say that you loved it when I sucked you, and I’ll do more.”

“Ah, ah!”

Neat teeth gently scratched between his testicles and the hole. When Haeyoon didn’t answer and held out, Chae Beomjoon turned his head and kissed his thigh, as if he could wait forever. The wet lips gradually moved away from below. Unable to bear that teasing, Haeyoon panted and said,

“I remember…! It felt, ah, amazing, so, hurry up…”

Whining like a child, Haeyoon spread his legs wide with both hands. The crease, soaked with cum and saliva from above, opened with a sticky sound.

Only then did Chae Beomjoon smile satisfactorily and pressed his lips firmly against the wet crotch, rubbing it. His handsome face was messily buried in the fishy-smelling crevice, but this perverted man just reveled in it, murmuring with a laugh,

“I told you I suck well.”

The tender flesh next to the hole was bitten. Startled by the sharp pain, Haeyoon flinched, and Chae Beomjoon laughed, circling the hole with his tongue. The wet flesh, already soaked, was stimulated as it was pressed. Ah. He wanted to receive cum. With the stimulation feeling like it would penetrate him at any moment, Haeyoon licked his dry lips and looked down.

“Ah, haah…”

The man, with his eyes lowered, was eagerly sucking below, staring at some part of Haeyoon’s cock. He pursed his lips and pecked above the hole, and every time Seo Haeyoon reacted, his lazy eyes softly creased.

It was neither servitude nor foreplay. The fact that the man was thoroughly enjoying this act resonated through his entire body. Chae Beomjoon’s pure pleasure made Seo Haeyoon immerse himself in guilt-free ecstasy and led him into a purer world of sensuality.

“Feels good, ah, feels good, Mister…”

“Will this, haah, be enough?”

“I don’t know…”

Lately, practice hadn’t been going well. If they had sex today, he would be exhausted by tomorrow morning, and it would affect Tuesday’s practice. That was something Seo Haeyoon couldn’t allow, so he had already said no penetration today when he took off his pants.

But ending it like this without fucking was frustratingly maddening. It was like having an amazing appetizer and knowing an even better main dish was coming, but having to leave the table.

Faced with the vivid pleasure Chae Beomjoon was giving him, Seo Haeyoon hesitated. Couldn’t he just do it a little? A little bit should be fine. But he wasn’t sure if Chae Beomjoon could stop at just ‘a little,’ as he understood it. Every night they spent together had been long. Very long.

“If penetration is difficult,”

Sensing his hesitation, Chae Beomjoon paused from licking below and spoke in a suggestive tone. With that, the hand that had been pressing down on his leg moved lower.

A finger, tracing the wet and swollen hole, entered at some point. Gently rubbing the inner walls, he asked,

“Should I use my hand? Fingering is good too. Or have you tried fisting?”

Fisting? Seo Haeyoon frowned and lifted his head.

He had never been interested in such hardcore sex and had never even been offered it. No man had ever been crazy enough to mention fisting to Seo Haeyoon, who declared no oral before sex.

“Are you crazy?”

At that quick refusal, Chae Beomjoon burst into laughter. Leaning his head on Haeyoon’s leg, he kissed the inside of his thigh at an angle and continued,

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but it doesn’t hurt. Just using fingers might not be enough to make you feel good. And you said penetration is difficult.”

“How can that not hurt?”

Haeyoon asked, bewildered. It involved putting a hand inside. It was much bigger than a penis, so how could it not hurt?

Seo Haeyoon’s eyebrows, curved like the Chinese character for ‘eight,’ expressed displeasure as if telling him not to talk nonsense. His erect penis quickly deflated, and his skin even grew cold, as if scared.

“You’re doing it again…”

Seeing Seo Haeyoon’s childish side, Chae Beomjoon suppressed a laugh. He pressed his lips firmly against Haeyoon’s groin and added another finger to the one already inside, gently stirring the interior. As Haeyoon blushed, Chae Beomjoon explained,

“I’ll keep my hand as small as possible. That way, it won’t be much different from mine, and since it won’t go in deep, you won’t get hurt. I’ll slowly stretch you and then penetrate. If it doesn’t seem to work, I’ll pull out right away. I’ll know before you even feel something is wrong. All my senses will be focused on you.”

“…”

“Of course, I won’t open my hand inside you or make a fist. If Haeyoon says stop, I’ll stop immediately.”

The calm and composed explanation slowly eased his pounding heart. Seo Haeyoon bit his lip and looked at Chae Beomjoon, who was fondling his lower part.

Their eyes met. Chae Beomjoon’s calm eyes were filled with excitement, but there was no sign of coercion.

He smiled softly, as if telling Seo Haeyoon to answer comfortably. Seo Haeyoon looked away from that smile.

He saw Chae Beomjoon’s hand still holding one of his legs. It was a large, neat hand. His fingers were long and straight, and the veins on the back of his hand were prominent. If he made a fist, it would obviously be bulkier than the glans. But if he kept his hand together, as he said, it might not make a big difference…

“What if I say, I don’t want to?”

“Say no, stop. What I explained before was about what to say during the act. If you say no before we start having sex, I won’t do anything.”

“…”

“Do you not want to?”

If he was asking if he didn’t want to do fisting, then no, he didn’t. It was uncomfortable and scary.

But if he asked if he didn’t want to do it because of that, it wasn’t quite true. He was curious. He wanted to know how a man who purely enjoys sex would make him drown in excitement. He wanted to see just how skilled this man was.

It wasn’t an easy decision, so he hesitated for a long time. When Haeyoon didn’t respond, Chae Beomjoon shrugged and pushed another finger in. Three fingers gently caressed the inside. The touch felt good as it explored the inner walls, but as Chae Beomjoon said, Seo Haeyoon’s prostate was in a place his fingertips couldn’t reach. Fingering alone had its limits.

“If you don’t want to, we won’t. Don’t think too hard about it. I asked because I was thinking about you, but I’m fine with just this.”

Facing the hesitant Seo Haeyoon, Chae Beomjoon took a step back instead. He laughed lightly and pressed his fingertips firmly against the inner intestines, as if to say this was enough. If that vivid sensation could be extended deeper…

Driven by a sudden surge of curiosity, Seo Haeyoon found the courage.

“Don’t…hurt me…”

It was a whisper-like small voice. Chae Beomjoon raised his eyebrows as if he couldn’t believe he was being allowed to do this. He soon laughed, grimacing as if he was going crazy, and reached into the console box to take out an alcohol swab.

Who keeps something like that in their car? Haeyoon wondered, but then he changed his mind. What kind of person would do that? A pervert, of course…He admitted it and watched what Chae Beomjoon was doing.

He said he wouldn’t go in deep, but the man still cleaned up to the middle of his forearm. Then he took out a nitrile glove, but Seo Haeyoon shook his head. Condoms and gloves were different. He didn’t want to feel like a subject in a biological experiment.

“I don’t like that…”

At Haeyoon’s words, Chae Beomjoon smiled understandingly. Instead, he thoroughly disinfected his hand from fingertips to elbow again, then mixed gel and lube on his palm.

The pleasant smell of the oil melted the frozen air. Chae Beomjoon, who had made his hand slippery and wet, smiled at Haeyoon.

“Relax.”

“…How many times have you done this?”

“You’ve been very interested in my experience lately.”

“It’s because Mister acts untrustworthy…”

“Liar.”

Chae Beomjoon laughed at Seo Haeyoon’s murmur.

It was a lie, indeed. Seo Haeyoon wouldn’t let just anyone he didn’t trust do something so dangerous to him. Chae Beomjoon seemed to have completely seen through that fact.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him; he was just curious. He looked so familiar with the act of fisting.

But instead of answering, Chae Beomjoon began to stretch the entrance again with his four wet fingers and bent his large body. He moved closer to Haeyoon and kissed his cheek. The gentle kisses they had shared dozens of times poured out. As Seo Haeyoon became intoxicated by the kiss and opened his mouth, Chae Beomjoon busily moved his hand.

“Touch my head.”

“Am I a dog?”

“At least you’re not a bitch.”

He sweetly kissed Haeyoon and continued to demand things. Touch my head, stroke my cheek, he begged uncharacteristically, distracting Haeyoon while stretching his hole with his hand.

“Ah, uh.”

His well-shaped lips pressed against Haeyoon’s nape. The feeling of him biting gently without showing his teeth was good. The man’s tender caresses easily aroused Seo Haeyoon’s body.

One leg was draped over the backseat headrest, and the other was placed on Chae Beomjoon’s thigh. The chest exposed by the pulled-up sweatshirt was flushed. The nipples he had pinched and rubbed himself were erect, showing their pride.

Kiss, kiss, Chae Beomjoon moved down Haeyoon’s neck and licked around the areola with his tongue, looking up at Haeyoon.

“Uh…”

His gaze, openly staring at Haeyoon’s flushed eyes, lingered. Chae Beomjoon opened his mouth wide and licked the nipple from bottom to top with his tongue. As Haeyoon took a deep breath at the blatant act, Chae Beomjoon bit the swollen nipple with his teeth.

“Ah!”

It was at that moment. The hand covered in gel and lube suddenly passed through the hole. He was startled when the widest part of his hand, the metacarpals, passed through the entrance, but aside from the tight feeling, there was no pain as he had imagined.

Did it go in? Or not yet? Confused, Seo Haeyoon tried to look down, but Chae Beomjoon blocked his view and pushed his head forward.

“Kiss me.”

“Di, di, did it go in?”

He thought it would be okay, but his voice trembled. He must have been nervous deep down. As Haeyoon became aware that his arm was inside his body, his lips began to tremble slightly.

When one person gets scared during a dangerous act, the other can easily become intimidated as well. But Chae Beomjoon was skilled. Instead of answering Haeyoon’s tension, he smiled and pressed his face against his. He rubbed his nose against Haeyoon’s like a playful gesture and said again,

“Kiss me, Haeyoon. Hmm?”

Dark eyes were right in front of him. Gazing into them, Haeyoon couldn’t find any sign of tension in Chae Beomjoon’s excited eyes.

That confidence helped Haeyoon regain his composure quickly. He became convinced that it wouldn’t hurt, as Chae Beomjoon had said earlier. Haeyoon let out a short sigh and tilted his head to kiss Chae Beomjoon.

Their lips met softly, and a gap opened. Chae Beomjoon entered first. As if just wanting to make him feel good, instead of greedily stirring inside like when he licked Haeyoon’s lower part earlier, he gently touched his tongue tip. Haeyoon responded by sticking out his tongue, and Chae Beomjoon cutely rubbed his tongue as if greeting him.

“Uh, ugh…”

As their tongues touched, the hand that had entered below moved a little deeper.

It was a very different sensation from a penis. Unlike the feeling of blood, flesh, and a hard lump, the hand had angles and was hard.

Especially, the bones protruding from the back of the hand were distinct. Chae Beomjoon’s hand was clearly announcing its presence, like a penis with beads or a strangely shaped dildo.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, no…”

It didn’t hurt; it just felt strange. It felt burdensome because the maximum circumference was larger than a penis, but since it wasn’t a uniform thickness, he could feel empty spaces next to it, which made it feel odd.

“Huh…”

A sticky sound spread through the air, thick with the smell of semen. Every small movement of the hand inside made his hair stand on end.

It felt like his lower body was floating. Not knowing what to do with his body, Haeyoon twitched his buttocks, and Chae Beomjoon shushed him. He kissed Haeyoon’s cheek as he swallowed dryly, and with their bodies almost pressed together, he brought his lips to Haeyoon’s ear.

“Haeyoon, you must have been with many men.”

With the whispered words, the slippery hand went a little deeper. The fingertips, moving around, pressed somewhere. A clear streak of pleasure, like a sudden lightning strike in the deep night, shot up his spine. As Seo Haeyoon shivered, Chae Beomjoon rubbed that spot with his fingertips again.

“How many men have you met who can reach this far?”

“Ah…! Ah…!”

Fisting was different from sex. It was a contact that made him feel that fact instantly. The hand movement that directly stimulated the pleasure spot was thrilling to the point of being scary.

Feeling a strong pleasure that made him feel like he was falling, Haeyoon quickly reached out his hand. Looking down at him clinging to him with a frightened face, Chae Beomjoon smiled. He licked his cheek long, like soothing a crying child, and rubbed the inner wall with his hand again.

“Ah, ah, ah…! It’s weird, it’s, uh…!”

“Haah, is it weird? What’s weird?”

“Too, huh, too…Ah!”

It was an intense stimulation he had never experienced before. It felt like experiencing pure, unfiltered pleasure itself. Seo Haeyoon opened his mouth wide, his face completely relaxed and tearful. Large teardrops wet his cheeks, and his two legs trembled.

His erect penis hit his thigh and dripped white liquid. Seo Haeyoon was ejaculating without even realizing he was coming. His vision flashed white, and his fingertips tingled with intense pleasure spreading through his body, but it felt more scary than good. That’s why it felt weird.

“No, no! Ah! Ah…!”

As Haeyoon moaned like screaming, he suddenly threw his head back. Chae Beomjoon, supporting his head with his hand so he wouldn’t hit the door trim, stopped moving the hand buried in his intestines.

Chae Beomjoon, who had been excited and disheveled, focused his gaze on Seo Haeyoon. He looked at Haeyoon’s face, his eyebrows twisted and his eyes rolling back as if in convulsions. It was a maddeningly sexy face. Haah. Chae Beomjoon rubbed his lips against Seo Haeyoon’s cheek as he released his pent-up ejaculation with his tightly erect penis.

“Uh, haah, do you still hate it? Haeyoon, do you still feel weird?”

A gentle voice came soothingly. Seo Haeyoon slowly opened his eyes, feeling his heart pounding. In his tear-blurred vision, a handsome face appeared. The man looked at him with a fairly serious expression, filled with worry.

“It might feel oversensitive because it’s your first time. If you can’t do it, tell me to stop. I won’t listen if you say you hate it.”

“Ah, huh, huh…”

Haeyoon was almost crying. The large hand inside his body was now making his insides numb. He couldn’t even tell if it was a hand or a cock anymore.

“Don’t cry, Mister will feel bad.”

“Huh…”

Chae Beomjoon’s lips brushed against his wet eyes. But the sensation was numb, as if he had been anesthetized. Usually sensitive to stimulation, his senses were now overwhelmed, and his brain seemed to have shut down all feelings. He could only feel something as hot as his own body temperature inside him; there was no other sensation. Was this okay?

No, it didn’t feel right.

He felt like he shouldn’t get used to this. Suddenly scared, Haeyoon nodded.

“Stop, I want to stop…”

As he murmured, Chae Beomjoon laughed softly. Soon, a gentle kiss touched his lips. He apologetically gave Haeyoon a polite kiss and slowly pulled his hand out. As the large object inside him slipped out, he felt a chill down below, and a shiver ran through him.

Startled, Haeyoon was patted by Chae Beomjoon with one hand. Chae Beomjoon wiped his slippery hand on the sweater he was wearing and then reached out to the limp Seo Haeyoon after taking off his top.

“Come here. I’ll hold you.”

Chae Beomjoon, sitting with his legs wide open, placed Seo Haeyoon on his thighs and embraced him. His bare body was warm. Haeyoon, exhausted, rested his cheek against Chae Beomjoon’s collarbone, feeling his warmth.

“It feels, it feels…weird. Ah, what if it doesn’t close?”

But something felt strange down there. Even when he tried to tighten, it felt like it was still open. Seo Haeyoon asked in a startled voice, and Chae Beomjoon reassured him in a low voice, saying it was okay, and reached his hand behind him.

His hot hand explored below. The touch of someone else’s flesh. Only then could Seo Haeyoon confirm that he was closed down there.

“The sensation inside remains, that’s all. It’s okay. Relax. It’s over.”

It’s over. He won’t fall anymore. The reassuring words made Seo Haeyoon let out a dazed sigh. He closed his eyes and leaned against Chae Beomjoon, focusing on the sound of his heartbeat. Thump, thump, the fast beat was steady. Seo Haeyoon’s heart, which had been racing to its limit, began to slow down as he was comforted by Chae Beomjoon.

It felt like his two feet, which had been floating in the air, were touching the ground. Feeling himself calming down, Haeyoon slowly caught his breath.

There was silence for a while.

“…Were you scared?”

Chae Beomjoon broke the silence. His question, checking on Haeyoon’s state, was skillful. The fact that he didn’t seem surprised or flustered showed that he had experienced this many times before.

I’ve been had…Haeyoon thought to himself and nodded.

“A little.”

“…The fisting? If you felt like I was forcing you earlier.”

“No, it’s not that…”

Haeyoon cut him off as if to say he didn’t need to apologize. He shook his head, rubbing his hair against Chae Beomjoon’s chin. Then he glanced up at Chae Beomjoon’s handsome profile and explained what he had felt earlier.

“Sex, it has that moment, right? Like a roller coaster, slowly climbing, and at some point, you expect to feel pleasure.”

“Yes.”

Kissing, caressing the body, stimulating the genitals, and reaching climax through penetrative sex—there were processes like that. Like a trailer for what’s to come.

“But there was none of that, just the fall, so it was just scary.”

But this time, there was none of that. Unlike the penis stimulating the entire inner wall, the fingertips directly stimulated the sensitive spot, making it feel like jumping off a plane without any protective gear. The view was thrilling and beautiful, and there was definitely a safety harness, but it felt like he might get so caught up in the scenery that he wouldn’t pull the ripcord and would just plummet to the ground, his head smashed. That’s what it felt like.

“…”

Listening to Seo Haeyoon’s explanation, Chae Beomjoon looked a bit serious. Then he scrunched his nose, laughed, and gently stroked Haeyoon’s back, saying,

“Haeyoon, you’re really sensitive.”

“Yeah…”

“That’s why your personality is like that. You feel everything more intensely. The good and the bad.”

“…Is that an insult?”

At those words, Seo Haeyoon got annoyed. What’s wrong with my personality? Haeyoon widened his eyes, and Chae Beomjoon smiled smoothly. He tilted his head and gently bit Haeyoon’s nose.