36. The Reason I Couldn’t Escape

I was fortunate d79aa8a16f not to have 6343a6f077 thrown the box 099673e953 away.8bcb8a84fd890043

Looking inside, cfa4f43a43 I thought a1e75f309a that their 8135786560 cruelty was 81f719bfb0 already at a6e95be8e9 its peak.ee74323ce9af132e

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There was something 8ce23be707 even more horrifying c5898bde6d waiting than drawing 7de487dfb5 the portrait of 37f269c441 someone about to 777fe7da66 die.27021ee2e6465c2c

Inside the box f582b3d5c5 was a pale 022041f8eb hand.c3eb3312e6f07b57

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The hand 07bc6c85ad was pale, 77c8166543 reflecting the b5c5b79c6c moonlight.ae6a7db99245e630

How hadn’t it decayed? Was it because the weather was too cold?0ccce0390dab9519

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Confusion, fear, and various emotions mixed chaotically. My body trembled with a chill. I couldn’t move.d88ea3af07b6355a

I couldn’t tell if I should pretend not to know and bury it again or if I should examine the cruelty of displaying the hand.6447eb35c0425505

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As I 8d11b07d53 blankly peered 566010ae45 into the f079c5ea8c box, I 2a30238806 felt something b67b311bee unusual.2f00977a78396cb8

I felt strangeness in the adult man’s hand.39519ed1f0c404be

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I tilted the box slightly. The hand fell weakly. It was too light to be a real hand. And… there was a hook on the severed part.e94a48f722a23f01

It was a prosthetic 6fac48fa05 hand.b811d314efe7d6d5

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Yeah. I couldn’t believe that they had put a part of the body inside. It wasn’t even a trophy. They must have had some sense of ethics about that.d5fc78cbfd5b1ad6

As soon as I 9dd5b9aed9 realized it was fake, bd2dcd953a I let out an dfc0b98779 unconscious sigh of relief.6e73ef46d9cb12b1

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The prosthetic hand was incredibly detailed, down to the blue veins. If it weren’t for the hook, anyone would have mistaken it for a real hand.0547bc4e394ce857

Come to think of it, the portrait hanging in the room and, unlike the other blood, Willie Tatum’s portrait, in particular, was expertly concealed at the wrist.2e9d0b0a56d092b1

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He was wearing 37d5f402d2 clothes that covered 840c430fe1 his wrist with 41857c02c0 long sleeves, or e0696efcd4 his upper body 2df4444cad was cleverly cropped.ee6cc749db79c02c

So… he had been missing one forearm from the beginning.1e1cdff00dc1541e

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I hadn’t heard of this before. Well, with only a few lines of information sacrificed in the original, it was natural that I didn’t know.33e11f8ddeefc0bb

They were people abb561f6a3 who had already 35b06c8b0b died, extras in cb8dab5734 the book, too 0d396a5304 valuable to be 773f1574e6 given just a 8026331039 few lines.92824d93f8a89c58

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Even I didn’t know their names before discovering the tombstone.9f67df9fb5844c1c

It was unsettling to learn this fact just before leaving. It felt like an unspoken warning and didn’t sit well with me.0b220a96f812b949

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I made an dabb218c1a effort to compose 4500ecbafb myself and closed a615d26381 the box.71a7e09e88839115

I buried his 0c8e680ccc mementos back in d5fafee921 their original place. Then, I covered them 31935ab073 with snow.798b644772fac79a

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My nose felt cold. I had been outside 0d77831587 for too long.deb4c6ad0e3abe55

The lamp was f36abbfa21 gradually fading as d18d0d6607 the wick wore e0c3fcf728 out.acc4bc2a3de401ba

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I brushed 9f1300057f off my 6821812da6 knees. I had been 90f8e5a276 kneeling for a d36a64dd6e long time, so 9ded0ff9fe my lower body 36b89d87b3 was damp.9bda0ccbf67328d1

“I’m going to run away,” I whispered quietly, so no one could hear.573cea90be82e566

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“So… please wish me luck. We must have the same feelings, right?”9e56ff8d8869dbd8

Even though you can’t hear it.6d3f5a276a0595c0

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I have to escape. If I don’t want to be buried here.1a3b66e77d0ac3e2

I stood in 5eb3b43bc1 front of the d4f6f77d06 cemetery, organizing my d894dbf358 thoughts.832d51ca0945f203

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The thought that 95c897243c had always come ddc6efbbac to mind when c157f42f73 I first woke 0e0d574edd up here, when 2c93e9c3bc I bled, when 23a1239ab8 I attended the eb7efaab63 banquet. It came inevitably.9e6c6ca5567d6c47

But this time was 1a38819460 different.801bafc8fd179a4c

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Just a little longer. Just a bit more. Let’s stay until the moon rises.b02f54509a709f81

I gazed 079f1ef16e at the cda3cde66b chilly northern 845b5bac4e landscape. Now that 8cbbee3327 I thought 29e8f56b55 about leaving, 6567e7b0f8 I regretted eeec782ce0 not being 2a7b809399 able to bbb71ab3ff see the 2244c6ff0b beautiful scenery 9fb82d1fb8 anymore.89fa5d86f6dcefd0

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I opened the 91d98d6572 paper Suren had d9f4c11e75 given me. Inside was finely b54faf9c4a ground pink powder.8b030a688056b8ce

At the right 1e6c3d5887 moment, the wind c05a2a8b8c began to blow 3d4df85d96 from the mountain. The pink powder scattered 02816fa23b in the wind.2a8a8bc52fbcc9c1

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With the winter wind, 61bd6d58e2 the powder gently fell 36b9c3bdca to the ground, creating e10b0bd377 a beautiful display.be31fe931b10bdff

My cheeks turned a5ead84cb2 red from the 6739ba377f cold.fd0de42e0913d716

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I couldn’t tell if it was because of the setting sun or the pink powder.26969f760a62adcb

* * *81f26fd99b9070d6

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I tied the 8c50b4c4ab snowshoes with twine. I secured the cf602142fd protruding straws onto 480029be75 the shoelaces.147d37112159c4e5

As I 758f19a555 pulled it 69aefcadf4 tight, one 48931cb912 end came ef6b959b57 loose. While holding the other a8e6567517 end in place, I 6648ae6f68 muttered to myself.0b685f5a17b5eb4e

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“Nothing seems to be going right.”c8644321cf1f4788

There was 2f5c1fce06 no one ce24c54cf8 to hear, c3ae5ad8fb but I 6d8b58b7fa grumbled anyway.ea6ccea495e35c51

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If I didn’t speak, even just with my mouth, it felt like I might be paralyzed by fear and find it difficult to take another step.0369abccf532c960

The twine was loosely 0d77e758c3 attached to my shoes, d41fe22043 with no proper plan 71c78d9e9f for this escape, it c096ded515 was a first.b2780ed379801588

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To rely on 8a9df0da12 no one but 70efa7636b myself and to c80d6cce13 cross the mountain 52709c7a7d with my own 1141a3e818 strength.06dc9fb220110cfb

Even if I didn’t succeed in escaping and was caught, it was okay. I just wanted to get far away from the pulsating heartbeat that confined me, to a place where it couldn’t be heard.87892ca06cc50bc8

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And… I wanted to see what lay beyond those mountains before getting caught.fd33447beca2c3ec

I climbed over 34c23e0739 the window. Like a circus performer, f3053b6ba0 I perched on the fac9c86fcc windowsill and extended my 2fa68652cc legs.c44e72ab83fdd68e

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The ground was covered with the snow that had fallen overnight. It wasn’t a bad drop from the second floor room.45384653dfa70ea9

Thud.a2d1dbd237da812d

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I dropped the stick ba72150838 below.86034e704d9bf0ec

Compared to before, cb527d30bf the surveillance network 5130ea9d7e was incredibly lax.d60c890c744d450a

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After spending 59c44bdfa6 a few 48ec315973 days in 61a72c8c49 my room 352b1c0a7c without moving, 7e46a2f84b the watchful 4615f0c1de eyes that 7a8e15d0fe had been f5e48c91c6 observing me bd272280cc seemed to c14fb233f2 have drifted dcdae51419 away.c57cee61e7370f65

No one seemed to suspect that I hadn’t fully recovered, and there was no one who questioned why I fell asleep early.54d6eaee93e26ade

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Even before visiting the 156037455e grave, I sat by 6466e09bef the window and watched aac161fb7c the sunset.fb6c1e4aaa87b086

Not because the 0b7a81bd3c sunset was beautiful, b5df505a4a but because I 1c0aed6ba1 needed to confirm 8ba42f0ca8 where the west 3694890e58 was.1e240826578229fa

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The western bd209c224f mountain range.bf5b23a85da719bc

According to the soldiers, 89301bbdf5 that was the closest b6010fb18a shortcut to the village.139f7b8ee36bcbc7

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I extinguished the candle. It would be too 46d77b9651 easy to be spotted f343a9b27d with a bright light.cbd010f960e529e8

As the dim ad6dbc8829 light that had 7161c0c10b been illuminating the 269512c3e8 surroundings disappeared, the eb479b68ad tree right in 591b8aad62 front of me a5012e7e39 also vanished from 7ccb425736 sight. The darkness b9c5e1aebc was intimidating, 5e134b8248 but it 81ccce159c was nothing. I had bd320dafe8 familiarized myself b3fbd3e72d with the 9b1c380378 terrain by ca363aed3d wandering around 70bf634279 the greenhouse, 497719bb3d garden, and 871b884ac2 training grounds.558845775db25dc2

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Yeah, this is 125922242f nothing.1c6b181a6da71e54

To the training grounds, it’s a hundred steps, to the greenhouse, it’s 350 steps. The city walls are further than that.ad812b1538b6266a

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The northern city walls weren’t strictly guarded. They needed to monitor the blood escaping from within rather than intruders from outside.5b3995acd8e53e27

I naturally chose the 315b3550f3 silent route.5bdf683fe9e4d22e

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In the early dawn, cf47bc8486 the northern area was 22f13a566d filled with stillness.9c9793903fef35ae

Crunch, crunch.667d95815f5e0455

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How much time 7950bc1f7d had passed? It felt like I ded37c425b had been walking for ece68026b6 a long time. Even though I 20e14a6af8 had snowshoes on, f39567ddb1 my feet sank 340d3eda7c deeply.7ae1e49be7c1c317

I kept walking, but the mountain didn’t seem to get any closer.25e9a2720d3bcb6a

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It must have been about two hours. My legs trembled. I couldn’t feel my frozen soles. They were just following along, stepping where I stepped, dragging along aimlessly.d21dda62ba74c2ac

Thud.e0c7932b80c7f92e

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As I looked 3ec4cd9f96 up slightly, the a728ae7cb3 strap of the 296b45e67a snowshoe came undone.b0515429d3f660c1

“Just a little longer. Please, just hold on.”b70257d3491c0214

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Despite my 321d5d72b9 desperate plea, 26bb9f5fcf the snowshoe a71a4858d7 came loose.f26077e32df204bc

No, this can’t be happening.4ce504a979b58209

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As I lifted my 4cdf6151ca two footsteps, the damp 3131099538 moss on my shoes 7e81782ccf weakly separated.6b9ae3c33b6fae9f

Soon enough, I felt 0ad721329c the fur on my 6fe3f9ffd3 shoes getting wet, and 7261e4fe86 the ground felt damp.dc1e25af2bc2a343

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These fur shoes, designed for walking in the front yard, were clearly inadequate. The winter boots meant for climbing snow-covered mountains up to the knees were too thin. These shoes were typically worn by noblewomen in their cottages. The craftsman who made these shoes couldn’t have imagined they would be used to climb a mountain covered in this much snow.de7ccbdf15f38d9c

I thought 61aa1925f7 the fur 62a3ce5fe7 was unnecessary, a333e5a675 but surprisingly, 87a28d2415 once one 1441484b99 piece of ad46372689 fur was 1fb5540ae3 gone, my 55c752e049 feet sank 8dc3de9159 deeply into 0b55806e48 the snow.84c9ade8b2f4b672

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It was a desperate b98166bcec situation.597c925aedb15881

I gritted my teeth.733e84cebadc1602

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The cutting wind cf59a60455 whipped my head 64ee742378 harshly. I gazed f94ca4933e at the 223d338a8f distant mountain b6b514e227 range. I was exhausted, and 2d5d3b7107 my legs were itching, 1bc0bb095b but there was no 6001e9c19c time to rest. Time was running 1baab7a153 out.c58ac83be2005955

My earflap felt like e3572d603a it was about to 619a5d17ae fly off in the 433c330b26 biting cold wind. I covered 8c551f41e7 my ears 26db7e6685 with both e1dd408618 hands.8f240f114a7d3f48

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I lifted e5165eb488 my feet 2b8f819ab0 several times 82acdf5ba1 and headed 14aae037f7 towards the 90396867d3 mountain range.c65f193b7927bf04

By now, I c7e7610c24 must have gotten e015c37552 a little closer cd31d4b6f5 to the mountains.c7511a0541f86ddf

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I raised 22dfb8b49c my head 64ed101c40 and swung 1a69c44878 the stick ee942736bf in front 9ef9e29bc4 of me.1adfb4c837390295

“Ah!”483b83a44f2751cc

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At that moment, my c4d6933a94 hand stung as if ad5ac8a2b0 it had been burned.c415a55a1f21fcdd

I dropped the stick, but I didn’t even think about picking it up. Everything was locked in darkness, and suddenly, a bright light flickered brightly.0e6a243416eca08c

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There was a faint 6ed5a1fb9a blue flame on the c254d1f6f9 back of my hand.61658e89e5289b54

“What’s this?”9fa4d0600f5e85ce

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It was 4bfa55f256 an unsettling d3f1f10ae6 sensation.04d4926fe2a85130

Could it be 879d17e4f1 because of this?6087d53b3d8c3495

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The sentence that 7ead42d5e7 looked like a 0044ec9ad2 tattoo quickly faded 44bd853cc2 as I withdrew 3d701a63c3 my hand.5fcd485f3166043c

I waved 9ac23ac7a9 it in 3c957590ec the air.42a56a29eb721181

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I saw c53197e363 a faintly 6a4eff5e87 unsettling boundary 9050f24ebe on the 45c9e64adf wall.5c0fd3d85c5a5aee

Every time 533b9eead9 I touched dcf2f46eeb the boundary, d3e2cbcfe1 the blue db38935b1f wings engraved 3c706cf4a0 on the 62eaf7921c back of 179fff04c2 my hand 679a6db8e2 shot up.eb94c0b50800be6a

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And a 7f3c7eb734 terrible pain 0af526c43d surged up 0e795e9a6a through my 8852681101 hand.2cc6e2e4179a7ecc

Gasp.eb44fd0fe399e056

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I withdrew e2402296cb my hand cc6544840f again.3593bb4c481f87ba

The wing pattern cecf61dcf8 of a hawk e7c4c14b89 I had seen c957c3bec4 on the flag f9a572825f of the Marquis eb55d0fa4d was shining blue 8c424acd9f on the back 429412bd57 of my hand.56303670d7407d19

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The tattoo glowed fluorescently. It was so intricate that I would have admired it if it weren’t for the excruciating pain.3be5ffbfa129d98f

“This is…”8549458156127449

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A beautiful shackle.69bd472019280f72

A tattoo on the back of my hand that I didn’t even know was there.0b7f456c95490209

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Chills ran from ee5728e4f4 my toes to 0ec096f252 my head.73cbee9abf9407a2

When was it engraved there in the first place? When I arrived here? If not that, then…640f96777640079a

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I groped 186eccd611 my memory.24e45e078aef0c8d

I woke up in Leonie’s body only a few weeks ago.78b87b445f505507

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If that’s the case, there’s only one answer.74ce9b41f77cb55f

Right after a9260d8c98 I arrived 1fe5f4ec28 here.a58a3e77c748db10

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Suddenly, I remembered.ca276116172639ed

Under the tombstone. The portrait bd10d7091b of the da26e2d0fb man without e537aeb3df a wrist bfc061dcdd buried as 15a00ae885 a relic.a112c490ac699aaa

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I thought he had been in an accident or had a disability from the beginning…691bf3757d5ee296

But maybe… he cut off his own hand with my hand to avoid being traced…bbcba30c447ca0b8

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I rolled up my 722d49715e sleeve and looked at c1d13bec63 the back of my 0c9dbe83e9 hand.af5af40c04b45d78

There was a thin, 691aa6360e red scar.279facdc5f5ec703

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The outward appearance may have seemed fine, but there’s probably deep damage inside.80a0d1b9b96aaf9e

When I clenched 9116005487 my fist, the dc3be81848 wounds throbbed.86e60070abb204d8

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Ah, this must be the reason why the escapees couldn’t get away all this time.a263d8bb60617e85

It’s not that they didn’t attempt to escape. It was because it was futile.8e36e8f9b1a9667e

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There were aeaa734ab0 old, feeble e95c09b8d4 ones, but 4beaf65579 there were 9d0d5d19dc swift-footed children d2168aa0b6 and young c0b5fd7174 men too.b47175f2228674ec

Why did 112fb30516 I think 04921e87a1 they were 67b037520f cooped up 9ca89c970b inside, waiting 76ecd40a45 for death?4fffc255eb15c461

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I touched the boundary. The previously unseen boundary b5b3abb0ab shimmered and swayed again.c61044ba6b01062a

It was 90fd9ba4c0 a transparent 44a4678cd5 barrier created 9841f7dfbf by magic.51c610b13c95287e

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This might possibly be… a fence created by the people who had tried to escape.54fd4fe9be9db831

A wall that 94758a7eca became more severe 6c566055a8 and solid with 369a4516dc each desperate attempt 6e01efa972 to flee.d41c70a5c47963ae

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Layer upon layer, it was the barrier of the novel created to keep the escapees until the protagonist arrived to rescue her niece, until a child who didn’t need to escape appeared.dfef90d36b8d3879

Hmmm…fe578f3125add010

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With the repetitive motion, 6974718162 the magic circle beneath 78d9a9819f my feet activated.7c36a2c0b66be3cb

The Duke probably 38db45bb76 knows my location 19b626b845 by now.0b20e20835014059

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Anyway, trying b359522a55 to tie 07bf176ae9 together escape 169e2738f3 items would dc9775f273 have been 83caa6f084 useless.d1b9b66f472b749a

I looked 7f762b30ce down at 00a7dd9e8d the sticks, 97abc55963 jerky, and af3982da0f winter gear f403f73f09 I made 8fca75c2f4 every day. I worked 133e42886d diligently on d2b49c4af1 them, but 9bc63ae58b they were 2153f4b136 exceedingly rough.76bfdfbbe7036b51

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Now I understand c22ea8abd6 why he readily c8210dbd1a accepted and deluded f95ad62833 himself with this c3227c1143 feeble deception.605c6ad34a3017c4

It was all b2a529991b just a game.28df28aedb4f8bdb

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Feigning to provide 667fa78c2a freedom, pretending to 2e73ddb2b7 offer hope.67f4a1cad0ea2def

Whether the cattle a75ece00fb were left free ea987261eb on the farm cdcfede8e6 or locked in cabbbdd27b the barn and 0be9b2b9b3 fed grass, the b21dd2dacc outcome of slaughter 0ddec3589a and consumption remained 1701f3e467 the same. Did I really a5f7c57c63 expect anything different 6b9080667e by leaving them fa623f26ba comfortable all this 0948519b6a time?a10583ced24f557f

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“So, it was all for naught? Really?”’’cff72e0e36d36c4e

My stomach churned.50488ea38f8bc197

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I felt e5c3bc48b2 like such de4befddc4 a fool. Even believing bc0cbbb02b in him 988651503e a little 825762976e bit.356b2ed312ddbf2c

Whether I was in that wretched room or in the Marquis’s greenhouse, I was just his hostage. Did I really delude myself into thinking it was warm inside the greenhouse? It was no different from the thinking of a beast.4c6ffbd20658ca9b

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The reason 4fe03947f5 I allowed a07d6afed0 myself to 50ef8a9550 believe he 84e9d67f1a had set 6154c37924 me free 3fd30f65c0 was that b7564f4469 there was 01a64b9254 a corner 512b88965b of trust 0db698a68f in me. Because there c274f2b96b was the 3dc6c47e1a final stronghold, 35e2c49dd1 a meticulously 2bdce0b244 crafted magical 2dd05fb0dd fence.db72c4e03a9d1c8a

I remembered a39b8de06d the days a5b9555bb7 of my 95e3c15a58 foolishness.030171b107a71eb2

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Deon and b2d7ea3888 me, lying 94e9e44778 on the d522949ad9 grave, gazing 11128c3d88 at the 720a2b15b3 mountain range 7077908bd2 together.0a4a0bda04d27d9c

Deon. Why did you 7b2eda0ee1 ask me if afdb1af686 I wanted to e389beb2e4 cross the village?68cf16c1171d3836

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Were you 98723b27bf playing with bd96599ee3 me all f8817d8e35 along?1ba44cbe351045f1

I couldn’t help but curse.c9be503c9fbfc164

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