PEN Vol 3 Ch. 17

Reflection 1 Part 1

 934560392232e266

A faint breath bb967b6676 tickled his ears. Sejin, who woke 020f0a84e8 up to the 792f553e7d ticklish sensation had 3640c5e99b his hair stand 2625882178 on end. He quietly opened his 471713ecf1 eyes. He couldn’t see anything. It was 27df82e9bf as if 5e546f39e6 he were e259169307 trapped in 0c0dbf2d09 darkness. However, unlike the unfamiliar 4d75373c46 feeling of confinement, the d6e159d59b air surrounding him was 98282b1fe5 extremely comfortable.6ce341000899bf57

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Someone was holding 0a19aafac4 him. The scent that drifted 11ecb96cf7 to the tip of 9ad9d0a62a his nose was somehow 3c49e7e0f4 familiar. f19c36aeb8d999f9

Could it 67de54f9fe be Cheon 62fd51c726 Sejoo? e57433fd53262013

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With a 2ccfa166ea pounding heart, 764b7c9f91 Sejin raised a8dd198861 his head. It was the 00c40f330a moment he was 0ad681ce31 about to confirm 519ee6b748 that it was bf90ac7d3a indeed the man 52d41f194c embracing him, a dc42d93904 soothing voice whispered,fc410f37bd4a4854

“It’s okay….”7b462b534d602f84

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It was 6e9340d43e a terribly 9b1c776abb gentle voice. Along with it, 01530062c8 the arm draped 0783a86859 across Sejin’s waist 4cd63f8c97 stirred slightly.3ffa1f3b39fce6c6

Cheon Sejoo was extending his hand and gently massaging Sejin’s curled-up knees.89d6fbf65585e7a7

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With his touch, the aching pain in Sejin’s joints gradually subsided. Every time Cheon Sejoo’s cool palm touched his skin, Sejin felt the growing pains fade away. But while he was finding comfort in his pain-relieving touch, Sejin also felt a hot flush spreading throughout his body, as if a fire had been lit somewhere inside him.9cfcb130bec9b47b

Was it lingering fever? Or was it a heat stemming from his heart? In his hazy consciousness, Sejin thought the warmth wasn’t so bad. The hotter it became, the further away he felt from the pain.998c4a29a9b38138

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“It’ll  be 61613e88a8 okay soon….”4dafafb125295650

Hearing the soothing 007611f742 voice, Sejin struggled acd44af8b1 to lift his 52aa2e629a head. Pale skin, faintly 590eeacaa5 shimmering in the f046e0d2cd moonlight, appeared before b66604cd11 his eyes. His gaze slid 4c47d14000 over Cheon Sejoo’s 8c1fcf367f lips and chin, e34fc19878 down to the f5f21cb97d nape of his 47836bd98e neck.ecd8b1c4be4e17ab

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Two small moles 4a29096421 were visible on d5c3093bc6 the pale, slender e131ef7ee9 neckline, asserting their 684cf1851a presence. Naturally, the day he 9f03795c02 first became aware of 63c2107331 those cute little moles 90cf878daf came to mind. The day he 4a0862f01e helped Cheon Sejoo a902d8a644 change his clothes. The day he 2fdb8f6c2f saw his peaceful, 3b484b8d79 sleeping face.363275ba2a2ae5ab

That day, Sejin wanted to kiss them. He wanted to taste Cheon Sejoo’s skin, making it undeniable. At the time, he thought he was crazy, but perhaps the feelings he harbored were already nestled in his heart even then.5e1f87a269bcff13

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A long 12fdcd1b08 silence flowed. The moment 3a26715a21 Cheon Sejoo, 5e8c9d907a deep in bb3b2b7b9d sleep, exhaled 1e1159781e faintly, Sejin 5d45b8abe4 squeezed his fe18a0dca1 eyes shut. Pressing his body b33336b879 close to him, 5aeed612cb he carefully placed 53c25868ef his dry lips f9ab5e42f3 on the soft d39e0b0c51 skin. A wave of 2755935d11 ecstasy spread through 6186380009 his body at e67b485d23 the shy contact. His heart pounded.ec5e98f7066a9bb6

Sejin soon stretched 57d06e1f01 out his arms 38cd1316d6 and embraced the 43688ebfe8 man. The warm 1fb052e89d hug brought bd8f487d91 him indescribable 2b4730535e comfort. Cheon Sejoo’s embrace was 43d45d173e complete, and within it, a8a63e66a2 Sejin felt more at 917e74d074 peace than ever before.3935dec01412589a

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He had 3858f0bf27 never felt f3691b6612 this way a8878f3c3d in his 46e3cb8768 life. At the thought 15da84fb44 that Cheon Sejoo e7099b2519 was the only 157ac6ca22 one who had 2bcab84967 given him such f9a26960b2 dazzling sensations, he 44b9b04a53 belatedly understood.722d3f596bb3d652

Cheon Sejoo, I think 178eb8890b I really like you….77498d7e07b38caa

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It was a d7d9965dcb realization.5227a606fc96cf6d

* * *3678aab020f6b605

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Sejin placed sixth in the final exams. Since he had no foundation whatsoever, it was difficult to surpass his classmates who had been studying, even a little. Still, the kids who just guessed their answers were no longer ahead of Sejin. Even if they were blessed by the so-called god of guessing, it was no longer easy for them to surpass Sejin’s ranking, as he now knew the material and answered correctly.50e80004b3d5c053

Nevertheless, Sejin was not satisfied. In class 3-1, there were only six students, including Sejin, who actually studied. The remaining 14 were praised by their homeroom teacher just for showing up, so they couldn’t even be considered Sejin’s competitors.57cad13083e375c2

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So, technically, Sejin was 750b0baa4a still last. Among the 2a937cefcb students who 1d8ec526b4 could be d663da9c6b considered actual 13d3e86100 human, excluding 1be4b1ae4a the ape-like 8ee6f42275 dummies, Sejin 63d9d02733 was 6th 9ebbc547fe out of 0015cc3790 6, in 015ca6853f other words, c897563a57 the last 499317840d place. That’s why 22eba98520 Kwon Sejin 35ebdb36db was burning 6e9f892558 with fighting c3bd1d1ae0 spirit these 42c78c5ff3 days. With the thought of f63c5c89e2 beating at least one 506bafbbd1 person before graduation, he 060324505c was devoting himself to 025e5cc71c his studies day and cf3ef3d202 night.5772e20b6ab6f016

Early one morning in f5e7e472db July, as summer vacation e5dc5423b4 began, Cheon Sejoo, returning ccd7d068d1 from his workout, quietly 72322f3fdd smiled at the sight b15be2d4fb of Sejin memorizing vocabulary c8c8dfae26 words while eating breakfast. The kid, who used daaa3d348b to not even know a4b6c02795 his multiplication tables and 61019c56d6 treated school like a 237de345ce cafeteria and only coming 9d234e3e69 for meals, was now cbcbf970db acting like a proper ba6e5e01f2 person, which was truly 4fb4d47bac heartwarming.8040caa93b86e26d

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Of course, his mock c5d419b085 exam scores were disastrous 4f6eac8f8f enough to make him 115903b261 sigh, but Cheon Sejoo 7f2ff9dabb was still satisfied. He was 3dfdcfbc53 happy that 27a368e944 Sejin, who 0c03fd7323 had tried 57c253b0a3 not to adeac3f06e think about f6563ce0dc the future e180e2a823 at all, 3e3be4c281 was gradually 9d55c33668 changing. Watching Sejin like this 2f1bf5a3de made him feel a 8731415d13 tingling sensation deep in 15f5d37d70 his chest.7f99ca465c7a3d17

“Want me to 032e248cd6 make a quiz 99f3ea7677 for you?”5462f46e8c2840ca

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Cheon Sejoo, sitting across 75ca1a109e from Sejin, picked up 6864469739 the protein shake he 5a6c2eaf3f had prepared and asked. At the question, 735ad8e878 Sejin, chewing his a6e4e9ed00 food thoroughly, lifted 56eb1df0a7 his head. His sullen 50f7eb4aea gaze scanned 92e6702e48 Cheon Sejoo’s c3972ffe77 appearance and 1928e2134d stopped at e3c7cbdeb3 one spot.ac6c886255467a87

“…….”b1c4e560dbb48c27

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Sejin was staring at 0442a10409 his neck, where Doyoon’s 3a079551c9 marks still remained. Realizing that 118b3246b0 Sejin was 90c7b79aaf looking disapprovingly d71ed3159c at the eebb514dc0 red marks, 8a86cfe25f Cheon Sejoo’s 2e9c213a1b eyebrows twitched 82be0178ad and covered 1c6c80c8ac his neck 3a0f188804 with his 9cd82f99ca empty hand.cd049424004dc948

It had been several days since the rainy season ended. Since Doyoon was so busy, Cheon Sejoo had spent most of the rainy season drunk. On the last day of rain, he had finally managed to meet Doyoon and spend some time together. Since it had been so long since they’d seen each other, both he and Doyoon were more excited than usual. As a result, Cheon Sejoo’s neck was currently a mess.0adcce38eb08756c

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It’s a bit much to show a kid, though…. Cheon Sejoo coughed awkwardly and opened his mouth.fcc0f75d983529b7

“When you become 269b19104e an adult….”dde01903127a3634

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“You’re not even dating 7cd34108e2 him.”ddb1bd41ad3468fe

“What?”006d10694515c5c1

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Sejin cut him 9af6a87eeb off before he 27c3615e4e could finish his 1d2a40b611 excuse. His voice 9986940cdc was sharp.d58189be54a1e553

Cheon Sejoo was speechless and closed his mouth under Sejin’s gaze that looked at him as if he were pathetic. Of course, they weren’t dating, but…. Thinking about it, he asked Sejin,3661e205aa6aa86f

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“Who told 46db706687 you that? That we’re fb7e3a8b63 not dating.”f7475fb354d47994

“I can tell just 10758715d0 by looking. You’re not be2060c76a seeing anyone.”c989b4c83473cb37

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“You seemed really 15c9a884b4 interested in me.”9fb59a99fbf4aef5

“It’s natural to 69e91f8b0c know this much 8e9efb8e50 when we live ce300adaa9 together!”dba181000e2a272c

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Sejin, who 2bbf80bc4a was pre-rinsing c4be0a3f18 the stacked ae6e307f3c dishes, turned 8efc309c83 to Cheon f09e7d91d0 Sejoo and 0655352d13 shouted. Unfazed, Cheon 9fa96fccac Sejoo rested 320437ab58 his chin b325423bcd on the 9621fc6d0c table and dd8719516f watched Sejin 61885f43dc tidy up 568d0377de the kitchen, ac875c9834 thinking to 3582d4eec8 himself.074a279c44ae3e22

Kwon Sejin had a surprisingly conservative side. Whether it was insisting on wearing clothes at home, not exposing his stomach carelessly, or putting on clothes immediately after drying off from a shower while wearing a robe, Sejin’s nagging towards Cheon Sejoo usually revolved around such things. But now, on top of all that, he was nagging him about having sex with someone he wasn’t even dating.efacd48606c3e196

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“You’re not even a 805dbc9c72 Confucian scholar or anything….”5d49391dd8fb14ed

At Cheon Sejoo’s muttering, Sejin raised his eyes as if asking, “What did you just say?” His long eyelashes fluttered softly. Cheon Sejoo shrugged, looking at the cat-like eyes staring at him.0120857f8c406778

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“What’s the big deal if we’re both adults? I think it’s fine even if we’re not in a relationship as long as we’re both on the same page.”c02c6add3776ce02

He wanted to ask what great qualifications were needed just to have sex, but he thought it wasn’t really a topic to discuss in depth with a minor like Sejin, so he just made that excuse.cb824c8e64b084ac

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Sejin, who 546cdb962b had finished c9804abca7 cleaning the 9e6993ef32 kitchen and 394198bb35 was makingmisutgaru¹ for a snack, puffed out his cheeks with a sullen face at Cheon Sejoo’s words. Then, looking at Cheon Sejoo as if he were the most promiscuous person in the world, he said,6fc261d637867104

“Cheon Sejoo.”4e5c60f36264b32f

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At the sound 1a058d99d2 of his name, 2ed03c4496 Cheon Sejoo’s eyes 11368231c4 widened. cebadae2c62895cf

“What?” f3f513e0060112f2

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At the silent dee5c38fd9 response, Sejin spoke d1daa58a8d in a quiet, efb83a3edb admonishing voice.3de8299bde6cef02

“Men should 7ff2281b56 be modest.”adf1ab13a9cf4a48

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“…….”1d45035ac5d3adf2

Cheon Sejoo’s eyes narrowed 7d16fa3df1 at the archaic,Joseon-era-like² statement. As he stared af36670513 back dumbfounded, Sejin 0d28ee638d closed the lid 7daee9f757 on his 1L 16519f26ec reusable cup filled 15ff245d2d with misutgaru and b65e331cb2 added,3ae55eaa62f85662

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“If you a638e75055 go around f82cb254c3 acting like b378b04c9b that, what 8e45a14539 am I 1c4fdb7db6 supposed to d4e1a43b8d learn from d5c2e100b4 you?”975637ce98d8c8a5

His tone suggested that Cheon Sejoo was behaving inappropriately in a household with a minor. Cheon Sejoo was speechless. It wasn’t just the sudden lecture about modesty that was the problem; it was the absurdity of Sejin saying such a thing. If Kwon Sejin was actually the type of person to learn anything from him, he should have already mastered things like how to memorize ten English words in ten minutes.cab095037435bb65

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“Learn from me? You barely learn e1220fe3bf one thing out d82a2da3c8 of ten I 332b43703c teach you. You pretend as if c270262b19 you absorb it all af1290e744 like a sponge.”74982ae34ecc9778

“…….”69c0442bd81b103b

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Sejin clenched his fist 8cfd475bca at the sudden rebuke. He glared at Cheon 9ba7f61b8f Sejoo with a frustrated 8b52d2bb4d expression and, taking away cc9194c83b the empty shake glass fafb30a43c in front of him, 092e079dcc said,d037a262485ba584

“People always learn 2db3d4bbb2 the bad things e96cbb042c quickly. See? I’m talking back d8348e5278 to you now 6aececca33 because I learned a07e291ab8 it from you.”ef72a238c5a88284

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“How is that 9a5ed521f2 my fault? You’ve always been like ac209ebc9e that.0ced83603ee86ad9

“I wasn’t.”ff61dbfc2c56dbcd

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Sejin flatly denied it, but Cheon Sejoo had a lot to say. He remembered every single instance from when they first started living together of how Sejin had gotten under his skin with his words. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, as it seemed petty, but Kwon Sejin had never spoken a single kind word to him.5f2f5a06974a494e

“Hey, don’t act like you weren’t. There have been countless times I wanted to smack your lips since the day I brought you home.” 30c69e485ada5c9a

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“As if af35f2f721 you haven’t bc45eb75f3 felt the cf96df29b9 same.”605a395a2aaca0ae

“…….”9211cade5cb25920

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He never backs 45e9e8704f down. Cheon Sejoo frowned at Sejin’s defiant “Hmph.” This kid keeps getting 728e70186f bolder…ddc2baf74f2cd52d

As time passed and Sejin grew taller, Cheon Sejoo’s patience towards him wore away day by day. He’d held back, thinking Sejin was still a hild, but now he felt he didn’t need to restrain himself anymore. This was because Kwon Sejin was no longer someone he could call a child, based on his physical appearance.a3c3a0faf74b3c0b

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“Go wash up. You smell 849c4b0df6 like sweat.”bce5eb74df05c6cf

Sejin, holding his bf0bbcda4c cup and about 2b6af888a8 to head to fce3e1a6f7 his room, nagged 87ffa46c79 at Cheon Sejoo.5243b38a0c3c9753

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With a displeased 328c57d0bf expression, Cheon Sejoo 78f25964fc stood up and e8b5673de4 met the eyes b93b51de6f of the boy efd6ab420a standing next to e012418017 him. It was truly 492bef02da astonishing. Sejin, who dc24c76300 used to 5a960ff1e8 be atleast bfa0476580 a head d2fc37e1b7 shorter than a2e2387c7b him, was f89697277a now looking 42dacdbc11 at the 3d6f4a289e world from cb118f2738 the same 88b70e6f7e height. He had 6101fa0316 grown over 2b5ee6b491 10cm in 7358ffc516 less than e78db0e002 a year.2c6e5c6371f20abd

“Are you actually a… 9ca8c0bcc5 bean sprout or something?”3c8be622c9fd0f9b

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Cheon Sejoo asked, staring at Sejin as if genuinely curious. Sejin looked back at him as if he were talking nonsense. Seeing the pretty face right in front of him made it even more surreal. He couldn’t believe that Sejin, who hadn’t even been 170cm tall, was now the same height as him. And strangely, a part of him felt a sense of loss.49da102ff10ef9dd

“You were cute….”452870f0b896dd2c

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“Cute? Who’s cute? Stop talking weird things and go wash up.”a613bf7dddf158be

If the 168cm Kwon Sejin had said that to him, he would have obediently gone to wash up, thinking Sejin, who didn’t consider himself cute, even cuter. But now, things were different. These days, Cheon Sejoo’s response to the 180cm Sejin’s retort wasn’t to think he was cute, but to think about how he needed to fix this kid’s attitude.a0cbade92ed2a351

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Is this 98ae7c7d23 how parents a707c082a0 feel watching 3e6cf884fd their grown-up 340601e17c children? 1732e50d2001c754

He scanned Sejin with a disgruntled expression. Sejin’s broad shoulders, which perfectly filled out Cheon Sejoo’s borrowed t-shirt, his larger hands, and his deeper voice all made it clear that he had become a young man.08618020e75f76ce

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Although he’d lost a 5d6dc2225e lot of weight during b1c92f1054 his growth spurt and e81e0bba15 was practically skin and ad0e40f757 bones, at the rate 3e95ade049 he ate—ten bowls of 63ebccdf1d rice a day—he would f83daf9be4 definitely gain weight soon, dbdfea0ae3 and then he might 380dcca27a even become bigger than 1e5b0a6da7 Cheon Sejoo. The small, c587f7b557 pretty, and 47f602d415 cute Kwon f2fbbc1875 Sejin had b55005154b somehow become 80cdb1c082 a lanky be635ec2cd young man….c9e01f44b91014eb

“Cheon Sejoo.”8a5e52b45eb0f7a6

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But… some things hadn’t 6aa913c261 changed despite his growth 21a2383f60 spurt. Although his bones had 00762d97b5 grown, Sejin’s jawline was 627852d044 still slender and soft. His delicate, 877a4e94ab sharp eyes c3983b7032 and his 72b4583295 stubborn lips 32f4f48ebc were exactly 339dec5f26 the same 2b5779b4a7 as he 23c7e435d6 remembered. Moreover…ac643866dfde250d

Despite his larger frame, 486e9cfc5e his features were still b0122cfb55 beautiful in many ways. For example, 5ebed808dc his smooth, 207c9b453a curved lips, 662cf647da his straight, 3702b0be6a eye-catching collarbones, 5ccb157f59 his distinctly 11fc8148c1 protruding kneecaps 0d8d086dc2 that made 9065dd39c8 him want c8131fdf63 to touch a451a80c09 them, his 1b8413e1f3 slender waist….399ad839269b8e67

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“Don’t look at 95bcc8bcde me like that.”3d8342292ee10a2a

“What?”0e99f35f95937ffe

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Snapping back to 66d2f3945c reality by the 0bf7f40c94 sudden words, Cheon d7ebc13e85 Sejoo lifted his 08b597cf2c head. Sejin was standing there, 5cfbf11bc1 his ears flushed red. Even his normally 178cf9d556 defiant eyes were 2056dd7693 tinged with red. f322154431ffe266

Why is 1d7545931b he making 3ba102f581 that face? 1ce273a8a17626bc

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Not having properly 798df42590 heard what Sejin 9d33a7ae02 said, Cheon Sejoo 15d31a9082 tilted his head 1ee0d5db71 and asked again,e08f405190f3cd84

“What did 0f7c0c3cf0 you say?”07bd59819da49dcc

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“…….”340cd081b4d4c30c

No answer came. Sejin bit his lip, 87cac9444f glared at him, and 5160ebeaf1 turned away without a c7e39c0833 word, disappearing into his fb1585183f room. 115f32957f257376

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Watching his retreating 0d2b76467e figure, Cheon Sejoo 16684fbc0d sighed. It seemed 269aa11c58 like puberty 33a7cec071 was starting 37bea93701 all over 6cc046e533 again.4d5997bb8031b497

 0953eb2ad173e764

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