DOAG Ch 3

“Treason! In times like these, a politician as a puppet of the Allied Nations!”8f28eb49f8cf2cca

Karel slammed his hand on 8a6a0cfa36 the desk, causing the medals ef5fd9ca02 and decorations on his uniform c35112b5f0 to clink and sway. A strand of his neatly d98a9ceba7 pomaded, graying brown hair fell 08d90c6569 onto his wrinkled forehead.015339ffc700a781

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“Calm down, Karel. This won’t solve anything.”d237c1e175bb6c3f

The man spoke a4fe2d2975 calmly, basking in ad3431ec64 the sunlight streaming 95ed534753 through the window. His voice was utterly indifferent.63a28cd78128a242

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“We can’t even decipher the Allied codes properly, and how many spies have we caught so far?!”7d5a9eb369d79734

“It’s the same for the Allied Nations.”38d2ec4833ff9fd9

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The man swirled 776623943b the liquor in cace1a1d81 his glass. His impeccably tailored white uniform 87a5ef078e shone brilliantly, like his silver-white e6f6071ef1 hair.6e17e3ddae8c80ef

“If Secretary General Raoul finds out, neither of us will keep our positions. Not only my neck but yours too might be at risk. After all, this is our responsibility.”4d0d4d8099efbac6

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Karel didn’t want to get caught up in any more troublesome matters. He had entrusted all the complicated tasks to Johan, and Johan had faithfully carried them out. The problem, however, lay in Secretary General Raoul’s capricious changes of heart. For the same deed, one day he would award a medal, and another day, he would confiscate it and throw the recipient in prison. Recently, Raoul had started to stir up the counter-intelligence department for some unknown reason. It seemed like a move driven by his awareness of Johan’s popularity.bcfafbb0ddd467a5

What Karel wanted was to prepare for his retirement by securing a massive slush fund in a trouble-free environment. To do so, the most important thing was his position and the stability of the counter-intelligence department. To maintain that, he couldn’t afford any vulnerabilities. For instance, situations like this, where a powerful figure in the regime colludes with the Allied Nations, shouldn’t happen in the first place.7fd874a7a44276d3

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“You know, don’t you? His Excellency has no mercy.”be2ff80e61945806

“I know.”857af345cc0acbae

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“It’s always been a thin line, but we’ve done well, haven’t we?”5c069083df2dd17c

Since the barbed wire fences went up at the border, Dochen and the Allied Nations had been in a protracted state of cold war. Outwardly peaceful, but inwardly more intense than when they were bombing each other’s territories with missiles. They competed for power, like a game of stacking towers to show off their size, waiting to see who would crumble first. In the end, information and money determined the outcome of it all.d748be794d0c8bb2

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“Handle Congressman Boban’s matter discreetly, so no further word gets out. No more traitors, no more waiting. If we’re played by the Allied Nations one more time, we’ll both be shot.”5a70f91fe9c274a5

“…….”47821cb04fb9614f

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The man didn’t respond further, seeing Karel’s excessive anxiety. He simply placed his glass quietly on the table.c7ee978ac5592c13

“Excuse me, Chief.”f09cefd37c78fc82

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“Next time you come in, bring information that suits Secretary General Raoul’s taste. Or bring the head of someone useful. Otherwise, both our heads will roll.”b1c4bf63199dfb44

“I’ll keep that in mind.”e7eb7d470d634ea3

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He left Karel’s office and walked down the long hallway. At first glance, he looked more like a gangster than an officer. The man rubbed his sun-squinted eyes with his hand. Everyone he encountered in the hallway stopped and saluted with a loud voice. They didn’t even breathe until his back completely disappeared from view. Johan von Willendorf. He was no different from a demon to the Dochen army, just as he was to the Allied forces. The day was clear, the sunlight was warmer than ever, and the garden outside the window was as abundant and romantic as one would expect in autumn, just before harvest. His sun-squinted eyes sparkled like those of a child.7877c27f83b848e8

Meanwhile, for Sasha, everything was dark. A sliver of light shone before her, but Sasha couldn’t tell if it was sunlight or a dim fluorescent light fixture on the ceiling. The damp, cold floor, the sickening smell mixed with the stench of blood, and the cold. A moment later, a searing pain tore through her flesh. Someone had poured cold water over Sasha’s unconscious body again. Like a drowning person, she thrashed and gasped for breath.515437fbd0a32807

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“This won’t do, missy. The sun’s still high in the sky. It’s not time to sleep yet.”0a14460e5172fce8

At first, she tried to keep track of how long she had been confined here. She even tried to count her heartbeats, using them as seconds to estimate the time. She put up some resistance, albeit feeble, in the beginning. But now she didn’t want to do anything. She was powerless, simply terrified and afraid. Counting the sleepless days no longer had any meaning. Blood flowed from her nose, and her head throbbed. There wasn’t a single part of her body that wasn’t swollen or in pain. She was dazed all day, plagued by tinnitus, as if lying on a bed of thorns, in pain and cold. She felt like she could do anything to escape this torment.31cfddf6f2663d79

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“What did you give to Boban?”bd592dae29ebac6b

Sasha lay on the b8a6c52cf4 floor and weakly shook 56b04ed9e0 her head.c1dc199a59503a2b

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A combat boot kicked her 60853c5794 in the side. Sasha screamed and coughed.0920838b903e6db3

“What did you give to Boban?!”b769a42bb9bee75f

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I don’t know. I don’t know. All she gave Boban was a set of clothes he asked her to bring.70f95bbad570b48c

“What did you try to give him?!”54990c6fa0a6ba8e

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All she brought were extra underwear, clothes, and a mere 40 barks. No matter how much she explained, the Dochen army didn’t believe her. Too exhausted to answer further, she held her breath and trembled.f2fc423ee9296e21

“With your pretty face and those flowing tears, I bet you had men wrapped around your little finger. Didn’t you?”e61bc6cc072b82f0

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Sasha convulsively shook her head. Major Dieter gently f42a2bad14 stroked her broken 7888906895 and dead fingernails. Her fingertips, trembling on 960cb30cbd the cold floor, were 2b4b7a3c42 blackened from the torture. Even a light touch sent 47becc3f92 waves of agonizing pain through c7147ba065 her.8ca6441882365a44

“Ugh…”3417447c8d39d697

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It hurts… It hurts so dd67a4fb2b much…e975b3bcd3b1dd90

“Alright. Let’s go back to the beginning. What were Gerard’s instructions?”4ac334287538664b

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“…Information… on Congressman Boban…”0df7fd57811e8c45

Slap! Dieter struck her across 3f3c620f51 the cheek. Sasha groaned again.5df5b9cf991e9514

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“Gerard wouldn’t have sent you to monitor a senile old fool like that. That old man has no valuable information. He crawled like a dog to the higher-ups to get his position as a congressman; he has no brains! You were trying to use Boban to contact someone! Sasha Laurent!”4237ab6dcd3ca84c

“…No… I, I… Ugh!”a13a478b4c37e110

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He grabbed her hair and dragged her. Her buttocks and legs were sharply cut by the uneven stones on the floor. Dieter plunged Sasha’s head into a bathtub full of water. Her weak resistance was no match for his brutal grip. When the strength drained from her trembling body, he pulled her fragile head up.9d03f4898effa3de

“Do you want a painful death? Then keep pretending you don’t know. You’ll never get out of here alive. You know why? Because no one’s coming to save you.”c61554797808dc9e

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Then he plunged her 636773590f head back into the 4433a3b075 water. Her naked body convulsed aeda60372f again, as if electrocuted.ba18fd278008cb2a

“Dieter.”d9c1212830787be8

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Dieter, preoccupied with dunking her head, turned his head at the sound of his name. He immediately released the woman’s hair and snapped to attention, saluting. The movement was swift and precise, like a machine. The man who entered the torture chamber looked at Sasha’s wet body slumped over the edge of the bathtub. Bruises and cuts covered her body. Dieter was a natural-born torturer. He was a ruthless, cold-blooded sadist, his cruelty bordering on madness. His madness spared no one, regardless of rank, gender, or origin. That’s why the man had brought him into the counter-intelligence department. When the man nodded, Dieter stepped back with his hands clasped behind his back.f5def3f1172c5348

“Any progress?”3c7c2ad350309651

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“No useful information yet. I apologize, Colonel.”92d386ae761b6cce

“Alright. Get out.”f6ecfe8b15fbcc36

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“Yes, sir.”7f033e1603763a76

He left the thick 0061c61c77 steel door the moment 650f7f1ad0 the order was given. The sound of the 3be4cae665 guards stationed on either e5d047e2ea side of the door e7687c95a0 stamping their feet and a960d59170 calling out echoed.180e6248597f311c

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The man pulled up a chair and sat in front of Sasha. He crossed his legs, placed a well-worn, thick book on his thigh, and rested his gloved hands on top of it. His blue eyes, looking down at the bloodied woman, were calm and elegant like a saint’s, and also seemed innocent. As if they held nothing within them. As if what lay before him wasn’t a person mangled by torture, but an applicant in an office, interviewing for a secretarial position.d2e916c23cfdd014

“What’s your name?”d8b1e2931e19719d

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Sasha couldn’t answer, struggling to catch her breath.6009e8f2c7618b3d

“….”6b844b5dc2cffe7f

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Instead of pressing her, he stroked the book on his thigh. The silence was more terrifying than Dieter’s kicks.b9ddbbc1ac806d6a

“…Sa, Sasha… Sasha… Laurent.”9fa3c1533fa91a8f

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“Sasha, that’s a nice name. Pretty and easy to say.”755566887b5c1ead

“….”c27d822280da82a5

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“Is that all you brought with you?”e76659aa9b9e327f

Sasha nodded.fafc61faf52ffeaf

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“40 barks and some clothes?”bd118ec33872a3b1

She nodded again.0cd6bafd7f7fac82

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“Did Gerard tell you how to cross the Dochen border and get back?”c884a2a56041b012

“….”b8638086a9444bfb

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“Or how to contact an Allied spy?”e69758ee83f4739a

“….”1776910e007ccbf1

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“Any other IDs or passports besides Elga Schmidt?”a6eaa1cc367c6c57

“….”4dd229e49ce77c1c

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Sasha slowly shook her head.86b326f9c5b3740c

“What did you do before you came here?”861ac5cc10c74de7

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“…Worked at a hospital… Pediatric ward…”748fdd73e1378680

“Were you a doctor?”5de9b2cdf766e7cf

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Sasha shook her head again.0466eab8b3c95e93

“It seems Gerard didn’t teach you how to die either.”64c7ffe73901f9ab

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“….”8c7985dda5a0454f

“What to do if you’re caught by the Dochen army. Usually, you bite down on a cyanide capsule hidden in your molar.”fb757990e88fc698

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“….”9b45af171300a159

“You know that?”b293b90f6c312d3f

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He leaned back 8c5fabb7b1 further in the 1860e0abdc metal chair and 8f14aa3cc1 looked down at 1d8ceacda5 her.9bc0e4f57f8611ec

“You’re the only spy I’ve seen who’s holding on not to survive, but because they can’t die.”2037344d83665801

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Her eyes welled up. If only he had taught her how to die. If only he had taught her how to hide a cyanide capsule under her molar. Then she wouldn’t be in such a cruel and wretched state. She resented Gerard. She cried out of resentment. Her battered body trembled with sobs. The man unbuttoned the top button of his uniform and calmly placed his hands back on the book.1ee77113a6550b52

“Do you believe in God, Sasha Laurent?”5897343a0e1ebac0

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“….”0641deeb0358a524

Sasha’s gaze shifted to the book the man was stroking. It was a Bible. Come to think of it, there was a crucifix hanging in this interrogation room, in the spot where the morning sun first touched. But by the time Dieter came in, it was submerged in darkness.a5be63d77e4a7701

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“Dieter is a devout Christian. If you ask him to call a priest, he’ll do it without hesitation. If God helps you, Dieter will grant you a merciful death.”8156f93aa5ef7b70

“…I don’t believe.”2e1ecd3517c8ad0c

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Rust-edged anger seeped through her sobbing voice. I don’t believe. When my father, my mother, vanished like smoke at your hands, when they died so tragically, he died with them too.ed48d1c080cca045

“Sasha.”cb86004cf28a8876

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The man’s voice, calling her name, was sweet. In the dim light, Sasha tried to imprint his faint outline in her memory. The pristine white uniform with gold embroidery, his matching brilliant platinum blonde hair. A straight and disciplined posture. He looked like an angel. No, he looked like a devil. He seemed to be smiling. No…, he had no expression at all. But his voice, the way he called her name, was etched in her ears. She closed her eyes. Sasha. The syllables rolling off his tongue vibrated and lingered in her injured eardrums. If all this wasn’t a dream, she would rather die. She wished she wouldn’t open her eyes again. Please, grant me the final mercy.8c1db532c090da0e

✮⋆˙335734ab2cb40a83

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The geometrically patterned ceiling, ornately embroidered with gold and ivory, spun above her. Dazzling sunlight washed over it like waves. For a brief moment, Sasha thought she was in heaven. It felt like a luxury afforded by death. But as she blinked repeatedly and breathed, Sasha realized it was reality. Her body felt heavy as lead, and the headache was proof. She bolted upright. She wasn’t in heaven, but on a bed in an opulent bedroom. She examined her face and hands. Bandages covered various spots, and her mangled fingers were wrapped tightly in gauze.80924d2d696bf461

“…….”9fa565dda7176311

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Where am I? Where is this place? Sasha threw off 54d160be55 the covers and 215ae85362 scrambled out of 797af53d96 bed. She missed a step 4849364663 getting down, tumbling to 0bb7a97443 the floor with a d907ac88b5 loud thud. Her body felt incredibly heavy. Her hands and ddbdb19cd5 feet felt foreign. She lay there, 27f20f866f flattened against the 9f4ac4dfbc floor, holding her b36e69271b breath for a aea78ff83a long time, listening 5edc6a5198 for any sign ab60f2be48 of someone entering f71bdfc849 or footsteps approaching c1fe675668 from outside the a3454a2124 door. But there was no sound.c937aa7f6e90a5a9

Sasha quickly got 98c98394bd up and flung 64412a7d7d open the large, 328a6743c6 heavy double doors 75e2b25b71 with her unresponsive 146779a310 hands. A sharp pain shot through ee80a0c101 her fingertips, but she ignored d98435d319 it. The sound of 414b27bdaf the doors opening 705ffbf6b1 and closing echoed a8c87c41b8 loudly in the 13228fcbaf long hallway. She looked around.e978e2452e4ac399

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“Is anyone there?”50550e50296f9fa0

…….8874c222a7d8f13c

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“Is there anyone?!”fa1f3d6e54e7c67c

Her voice returned as 9eb3ee7035 a hollow echo in 7b433fbc03 the hallway. A dream? Or reality? It felt too vivid b4e52b5a8b for a dream, too 5d4191692d bizarre for reality.79cf07c5fd5d0241

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“Hello!”d6277eaec575ff88

…….2c7f58e0fdb3f13e

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At the end of the ornate hallway, she saw a large door. Run, Sasha. Run! Her instincts screamed. A sudden sense of danger washed over her. She had to escape. Her instincts fueled the urge. Sasha ran towards the door. From one end of the hallway to the other, limping, stumbling, getting up again as if pursued by something, she kept running. She fumbled with the doorknob several times, her hand slipping. Click, click. No matter how hard she turned it, the locked door wouldn’t open.fc0d84c36583aef4

“Is anyone there?!”f0dac36b036f688a

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Sasha banged on the door.28285300e22662ae

“Someone, please answer! Please!”ea893ee05518fd11

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Bang, bang, bang.f65f8c0bd3cdad92

“Help me!”67dd45ed0d547e45

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Please help me… 5181143b09 Please open this 8ac5806feb door. Tell me where I am, 9e805efd79 whether this is a dream dbc07269af or reality. Please.f47d1e3a4c24f550

Sasha slumped to the floor, gasping, clutching the doorknob. Her body was heavy. Her legs trembled uncontrollably. How long had she been lying down? Where was she? Even the opulent, palace-like interior felt menacing. A persistent ringing filled her ears. Sasha got up again and returned to the bedroom. She pulled back the curtains and tried to open the window, letting in the dazzling sunlight. But the firmly locked window wouldn’t budge, no matter how hard she tried. Every door was locked except the bedroom door. Trapped. I’m trapped. This is a prison, or hell. I have to get out. Sasha looked around for something to break the window with. She saw a small table and a chair. If she threw the chair, the glass would probably break. Sasha rushed to the chair and grabbed it.e1548fe007d85f34

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“…….”c2272010f8801be4

As she hurriedly tried to lift it, a scent caught her attention. Sasha sniffed the air. Then, as if possessed, she lifted the golden dome cover instead of the chair. Bread and butter, sausages and fresh fruit, and rich meats filled a large tray. Her starved stomach growled in protest. Escaping, surviving, all that was fine, but she was starving to death. I have to eat. I’m hungry. I’m so hungry! Hunger consumed Sasha. Forgetting table manners and the throbbing pain in her fingertips, she shoveled the food into her mouth with both hands. She swallowed everything whole, too focused on filling her empty stomach to even chew. She had never been this hungry in her life. Even when she was orphaned and begging on the streets, she had never craved food like a madwoman like this.6535af3715fffcd0

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“Cough!”9f688db90337efc1

The food she had crammed 5f580f22d3 down her throat came spewing 536340bb77 back out. Sasha clutched her chest ed5cabe15e and gulped down water 098022c69b straight from the pitcher.287b98e0302e029f

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“Cough! Cough!”324094d15666448f

The food still 2a0a3b89cb seemed lodged in addb9bf6a3 her chest, so 3c1f96fcf2 she drank more 5b8a90b8a2 water and pounded 21e01b26ce her chest.70190001f6849465

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“Cough! Cough!”5346019452c3aa12

But the coughing only intensified, becoming more violent. Finally, it felt as though the food that had filled her stomach was rising to her throat, choking her. Sasha coughed even harder. She didn’t understand what was happening. Cough, cough. She saw her lips turning blue in the reflection of the silver pitcher. What’s happening? Sasha collapsed to the floor and wiped the food from her mouth. White crumbs of bread and white foam that had spilled from her lips were wiped away. What is this? More foam gurgled out of her mouth with a gagging sound. Sasha gasped for breath and then lost consciousness.2aedbdd4df4e8359

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She opened her eyes after ed372e77aa a long period of darkness. The geometric ceiling spun again. She sat up abruptly. She touched her ea1123ef4f face and looked 914f42b8bb at her hands. Bandages and gauze. Everything was exactly 9a3bc50ffa as she last 45bc101843 remembered. On the small table, 1fd15681d0 untouched food sat neatly 46e2a593d8 arranged under the golden 41e6f0882c dome cover. That was the only 3b311f84c3 difference from her last ae7feb2606 memory. Sasha got up 3f3620e2d7 and opened the 5b3bf7feb1 bedroom door. She walked to the end 63711e9fff of the hallway and tried eba60b3b7d the doorknob. It was locked, just as 485aaf59a7 she remembered. She tried every window in f22321464f the hallway. They were all locked. She went back 68725e7978 to the room. She opened the curtains f58e0b67ed and tried the window. It, too, was locked.b2a11f08c1de6bda

“…….”19d96d9f9db50f04

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Sasha sat down on c8c436ea91 the floor in a 83c7f8e862 daze, clutching her empty 9fa24220b1 stomach.d61633cc42cd8581

“I’m hungry…”29be7cb5c5443a60

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She didn’t know if it was a dream or reality, or how much time had passed, but she was hungry again. She approached the table and lifted the cover. Was it a dream? How much of it was a dream? How much was real? Did I eat the food? Was that a dream? Or reality? Bread, butter, sausage, thinly sliced fresh meat and fruit. If it was real, the reason she collapsed and foamed at the mouth must have been the food. They must have poisoned it or drugged it. But if it was a dream? Why did I have that dream? Was it a premonition? Or just a manifestation of my anxiety? Sasha racked her brain. What was the food she didn’t eat then?d5b6c8224d259158

Sasha picked up a grape. She examined it closely to see if anything was on it, wiped it thoroughly with her clothes, sniffed it, and then popped it into her mouth, spitting out the skin and swallowing only the flesh. Then, holding her breath, she used her heartbeat as a clock, gauging whether she was coughing or having trouble breathing. Then she ate another grape. And another, and another, and then another one right after. Unbridled desire took over, and soon she was scooping handfuls of grapes into her mouth. She coughed. She didn’t know if the coughing was making her cry, or if the tears were making her cough. Soon, she was gasping for air. White foam appeared at the corners of her mouth. Stupid girl. Stupid. Her vision blurred, and her body swayed. Everything went white.ecebc603b028ec01

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Don’t wake up again. Just die. Just die.0adf36ba0b7eb662

“…….”25c36e29220a4e17

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Nothing had changed. Sasha knew instinctively, b0daa672f4 even before she 604feb6ef3 opened her eyes. The dazzling sunlight, the f517ec1e91 still-locked window, the white ba5f9d9763 sheets, the unchanged scenery. Sasha jumped out of bed. Despair now outweighed fbde9d154e fear or terror.3ff358b12bc8985e

“Stop it. Please.”1dcec0abfb3290c5

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Sasha clutched her head and pleaded. She didn’t want to repeat the same foolish cycle of waking up to the same ceiling, suffering the same hunger, and swallowing poisoned food. She knew she would feel the same pain, foam at the mouth in the same sequence, and lose consciousness. That’s what drove her to despair. Pushing herself into pain because she couldn’t overcome her instincts. What could be more foolish and cruel?9545a1d026f4c2de

“Why are you doing this?!”38e93b3eb3d42e14

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She stood in 6dfca7b051 the middle of c7917aeba6 the room and e6fc23ec89 screamed. Why are you doing this? To me?0238bc83e0fcfd4f

“What do you want! Why are you doing this! Stop it!”7ca53aa2d136a789

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Please stop. Please. She didn’t want any of this. Not waking up again, not being trapped, not being thrown into this gilded hell and offered a poisoned apple. She wanted it to end. She never wanted this. She never wanted to live. All she wanted was for the pain to stop. That’s all.a610e0e71305722b

“Please. Please stop. Stop…”26590dc1d4f3152d

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If this is a nightmare, please let me wake up. If not, just kill me. She was hungry again. She couldn’t tell if this was reality or a dream. She felt like everyone in the world had disappeared, and she was all alone. Like a rat on a wheel, she felt doomed to repeat this endless nightmare forever. Lonely, in pain, and powerless.35d9eb38e86a650e

“Leave me alone…”ae0d066992eed11b

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What do they want? Why are they doing this? What’s the purpose? Why keep the meaningless embers of her life alive only to crush them? This is what God had been doing to her for a long time. He would kindle a small flame, and just when she started to feel its warmth, he would ruthlessly extinguish it. Is this God’s game? Or is it the amusement of someone else wearing God’s mask? Oh, yes. Now she understood. This is hell. Neither alive nor dead. A cruel and perfectly designed way to keep her trapped in this hell forever. But why? Why?8bcd2cdf4d8a3bbf

A sudden defiance surged e7963d3ac1 within her. A twisted emotion born bf54e81d4d from long-accumulated rage. Her senses dulled, 4e1ad440db and a burning 8b28306fef sensation welled up ac0253d0aa inside her. It was closer to despair 94db1c9dcd than hope, closer to self-harm bcc996633d born of utter hopelessness than 2c5832deec to any desire for survival.259156572f6ce952

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Sasha ran out of the room. She didn’t know where the strength came from. She ran straight at the locked hallway door. Screaming, she threw herself against it, yanking at the doorknob as if to rip it off.03710a8882efce9f

Is this what you want? Huh? Do you want eed0a12f6e me to go d70be8c967 crazy like this? Do you want 76a0603526 me to collapse e0e5cd2481 and foam at 2aa8013813 the mouth again?5f92d2c3b36405fe

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Blood seeped through the bandages wrapped around her hands. Sasha looked around. Her eyes fell on the intricately carved decorations, flower arrangements, lamps, a huge and elegant Renaissance-style painting, and a table. Sasha grabbed a lamp and hurled it at the door. With a loud crash, the lamp shattered against the door and fell to the floor. Then a vase, a marble statue. As if that wasn’t enough, Sasha ran back into the room and dragged out a chair. Screaming, she threw it at the door with all her might. The force of the throw sent her tumbling to the floor. The wreckage of broken objects lay scattered in front of the door. But the sturdy door remained unscathed, unyielding. Sasha lay there, face down, consumed by rage and tears.11e689aa420f7a2b

They want her to 5dc2688642 exhaust herself like this 62d60549af all day, only to 066db99b74 tear at bread again 19c2e8b36c out of hunger. And then, the next day, 6919c3f09d she would wake up staring cbc45cf841 at the same ceiling. And then their game would 7bdac9a283 begin anew.0513aaad8fb794ec

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Oh God. Why?a70f1c7ca6efdffb

She had grown up strong 0fc07a0734 despite the hardships. She had endured a painful 68eb188f89 life without complaint. She had never 8e78450def lived for herself… b3cfa05b92 Always enduring, always 866b4c9176 serving. If life was this 9092839fee painful, she wanted to 93541ad6a5 be happy after death.d16dcb5655326cdc

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Sister Aresa had said 191e2277ea that after this brief, 645b0bab01 painful life, she could 73f2e74ca5 go to a beautiful 961b78f744 heaven ruled by God. So she prayed. She prayed to 10fa33b59a Him in vain. She prayed for 1ddc5d8a2f a shining path 8844ff857a to open at 3f16a2c286 the end of 7ef2bf3aed her life. But He had trapped her. Neither dead nor alive, He 304549f6ba made her repeat this endless 6f3ebdcf5d suffering. Why, why is there only f5f229943d pain for me?c0ccb3b008ee194a

Why. Why. Why.5f4de2ca6a4e6bcb

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Is this the price of d05090eea6 my life? Is this the life 3cbeb636f5 you wanted for me?8f925b89c9aabbc8

Sasha staggered to her feet. Wiping away her tears, 36c98a607b she returned to the 771a408c00 bedroom, swept the food d11802e8de off the table, and 52269eae16 with all her remaining 262b96c4a8 strength, lifted the heavy 963062f207 wooden table. With a piercing 9a67129df1 scream, a sharp e61ab329e6 cry of rage, 44b91ef899 she hurled the 9f12448bc3 table. It crashed through the window 7eec636b65 and fell to the ground 2d4bc819db below.8d0edf50ac43414d

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Sasha collapsed on the floor, gasping for air. The tempting aroma of the spilled food filled her nostrils. Sasha swallowed her tears. It was miserable. I won’t eat again. I won’t play your twisted game anymore. She picked up a sharp shard of glass. I’ll die. If you won’t kill me, I’ll kill myself. For a split second, something glinted in the scattered food, reflecting the light. The glint caught her eye. It definitely wasn’t a piece of glass. There were no glass fragments near it.390edeeadebcc4f7

“…….”16b4c74575ac7a36

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Sasha turned her gaze, focusing 0160110807 on what she had glimpsed. Then, she dropped the shard 4da4ad1b27 of glass and crawled towards e5a4263065 the mess of food, rummaging dc66dc2f5b through it. Beneath the mixed 0192aae4bd sausages and lettuce, 23919477c5 she saw what 13d3a0a111 was clearly a 502f30991f key.db358dbff4f216b7

“…….”47d7fb3b141e0814

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Amidst the chaos, Sasha 7e87754b8a picked it up. Why? Why is a key here? She thought of the locked ed70b2a522 door at the end of 032487163e the hallway. Suddenly, her heart pounded. The hazy reality became 411378f4a5 abruptly clear. Her heart beat as if 7ef1b1d24a it were truly alive. Was it hidden under 3400b45927 the food? Or under the tray? Was this just a test? Was this key the answer 82c39634ea to everything? Sasha wiped away 527e3b7ead her tears and, f36b94f3aa despite the uncertainty, 8e6e0a0f53 left the room a4d4d83df7 with the key feb379da2b in hand, walking 734979e302 down the hallway. As if possessed, dazed and e194184435 thoughtless, she moved on instinct. She cleared the 0b4f27013f debris in front 766389471e of the door e8d310304c she had smashed b9908fcc8e and inserted the db5ecda776 key into the 2dac12ac6f tightly locked keyhole. Click. The key turned.8af1783eb285c359

“…….”5236a78bbbf0cd64

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She hesitated for a moment bf8dab3b80 before opening it. The sudden liberation brought 1b77a49006 back the fear she e4ea4e5bd8 had forgotten. She looked back. The ornate hallway, empty. A place filled with loneliness 370035097c and silence. Would opening this 9b04105966 door lead to a4f343a8ce even greater pain? Would she end 74c26806c5 up missing this fee185e4a0 place? A vague anxiety washed over 1773add6d2 her. But whether this was a b168151013 dream or reality, Sasha had 3f5b48684d to open that door. Even if it led to ab3e80ff8b another hell, this was her 203b505623 only hope of escaping this 4ab4e4c6f5 place, at least for now. Sasha turned the cd14496f2f doorknob and pulled.c406acb5685a8abb

“Ah.”11cc035eba895c4a

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A moan escaped her lips, like a sigh. It was a single sound, devoid of despair, hope, surprise, or fear. A pitch-black wall loomed in the lightless darkness. Damp cement, like death encountered behind a door with no exit. Sasha touched it with her hand. Cold and rough. The despair was already familiar, it didn’t hurt. It only fueled her madness.6c15164de9350a29

“Stop it.”9a6ac92be3f28952

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Sasha muttered. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Please stop it. Then, anger surged again. She banged her head 3b7ed23fc5 against the dark wall. Bang. Bang. Bang. The blood flowing from 378c310a30 her forehead obscured her 59f572c6af vision. Her ragged breathing 6720e25f06 was no different 8471d3409b from when she c65e4ad925 foamed at the a68720b206 mouth and collapsed.a068291abef73895

“Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!”f3560522b466133e

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Oh God. I’m so tired. I’m sick of this. If this is your test, I can’t pass it. Look at me. I’m just going to keep repeating the same stupid mistakes and suffering forever. Please let me go now. Stop it. Please don’t let me wake up again. Please. Please.68f09fc64c3ccfa3

And then she e0716b27f4 lost consciousness again.b09dbe9fafe9ecdc

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Sasha opened her eyes. The ivory and gold ceiling.eb94d45c0cf268a9

“Sob…”c604a71473542071

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Tears burst forth. She had prayed so hard. So desperately. So pathetically. Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why…?54360ec1856ccdde

“Sob…”4fc3871b8a229ced

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She gritted her teeth, 2eea883385 but her lips trembled. Her whole body shook.d9f5a1290a842a4e

“Get up.”5474dd9ff9c38abf

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“…….”61b7978b0c43195b

Sasha, forgetting her sobs, bolted upright at the unfamiliar man’s voice. Someone was in the unchanging room. The chair and table she had thrown were back in their places, and someone was even sitting there. He had placed his gloves neatly on the table and was flipping through a movie magazine. He folded the magazine, placed it on the table, and stood up. He put his hands in his pockets and, for a long moment, carefully observed Sasha, who was sitting on the bed, stunned. His gaze traveled from the top of Sasha’s red hair, down her face, past her eyes, nose, and mouth, to the clean bandages newly wrapped around her hands, to her toes hidden under the covers, and then back up to her eyes. Sasha remembered him. He was the last person she saw before losing consciousness in the torture chamber. Sasha thought it would be the last image she saw alive. His image was that vividly etched in her memory.f09aa79fb1f5e856

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“Follow me.”2ac7affbd974f326

“…….”1cfa94918ad2f53b

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He walked to the c9a9d46a76 bedroom door and waited ab42d18d9c for her to come ed7e596b7a out.fda7eb0763d5055b

“Wh, where, where are we going?”aeb0335c180f6c16

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Instead of answering, the 33ba0eb23a man held up a 7660ed751e key. The key she 4df6e9bc8d had found amongst 11d8be9d14 the food. He dangled it d195c2e113 before her, his cc6d6fa329 eyes calm and 40467a1d4c cruel.d449cb204944fdf3

“Come on.”a5a7d5308700a29c

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He jerked his head, urging 2a06fa13fc Sasha forward. His presence was both terrifying c634de8e68 and strangely reassuring. Or rather, the 17847cb06c true terror lay 87612ed5c5 in refusing his 931365790b offer. Sasha got up from the 8c640a814e bed and stumbled towards him. When she was close enough, 4587f41681 he strode towards the end 21164d6eb4 of the hallway. Sasha followed and said,7cfeb921dae8fc95

“There’s a wall there.”ea33898f63acd245

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“…….”3a9b243987e1df8f

“I tried. There’s a wall there.”ec4c1d4d72637024

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He glanced back at 9c80ff9fb3 her and replied indifferently,a9702e8143724af2

“Is that so?”7239dd11b636755c

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Then, instead of the wall b48c59e71b at the end of the 598f4fbedf hallway, he went to the 7c4039dae0 very last room in the 686a6ed999 hallway and inserted the key 65d7224f7f into the doorknob.0eebe877668f6526

“That key…”222ec5bc59b60b3e

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That key is 5efac83fc9 for the wall, 35ea22c18e she wanted to 51f1f8241c say.927a66a241217912

Click. The sound of the lock f4becb0afb disengaging.6be2c18a6e2c13d3

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“…….”d20d0aade12805de

Sasha looked up at bc363838de him with a bewildered 1b501b791a expression. The man replied nonchalantly,5c41d0fc17949d37

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“One key for one door. Such a tedious notion.”941b06af82fd9999

“…….”349841ff54a9751e

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“Come in.”168aac152999c5f0

He acted as if he were at home. Was he so comfortable here because he’d been here many times? Or was he an actor, playing a role?c1f53e392cc969e2

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“Who are you?”425af65685444ebd

She frowned, her f3f8623d0e contemplation interrupted by 6c58b380f6 the sight of 1780c3343d a feast laid 9ed6eb1538 out on a 0e9ce2a847 massive dining table.6fb64c7a4bef9f6d

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“Sit down.”1d1bbbe1f9caceab

He pulled out a chair 724ddca236 for her and then went fdbf433146 to sit opposite her. Sasha just stood 04b9148f5d there by the f58f4c85aa door, gaping, unable 1e1e3f86e0 to bring herself 1495e18647 to sit. He sighed, took off his c6ea33f23f uniform blazer, draped it over 7ca508d577 the chair, and gently tugged 6ade11449e at her sleeve.83c5d7577cfc4ffc

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“Sit.”65c9635905b69aaa

Sasha sat down as if 5ef5b55478 she were about to collapse. He pushed her 09ef91b930 chair closer to a2ab666261 the table and 2b14f5cff0 returned to his 16d115a372 seat. A coercive yet gentlemanly manner. What a bizarre combination. Sasha frowned and asked,be6ee783daa91882

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“What are you doing?”1668cc0a0454a77f

The man picked 8765fe0a76 up his fork 47ad664817 and knife, glancing 90d162f3d4 at her.0a6dc27b904717d4

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“Eating.”de9e9c8125e4ee8d

“…….”73a9091b5ed8d311

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He scanned the spread on 1323be4ede the table, considering what to 229a0bd43f eat first.1984150716c25fba

“Eat, Sasha. You better eat. Unless you want to starve to death.”2584a38da2fd4112

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He took a slice of c029c65ab1 thinly sliced veal, placed it b11d9795a6 on his plate, and cut e171df0444 it with his knife as 91de3ee5c7 if to demonstrate. Sasha flinched.21f3f2945bcaccae

“The food is poisoned. Someone poisoned it.”044a4c6824f483ef

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He chuckled, as if 59aea26bbd he had heard an 074a8c7d36 amusing joke.7f30584a184fe5e5

“What’s so funny?”aee62cf0ef70a781

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“I didn’t poison the food. I put the poison on your fingertips.”fa3f29065e68a32f

“…….”e390ae200fdc4c55

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He elegantly skewered a piece 0f11fb6f6e of veal with his fork 36b02ee4da and put it in his f0890d7865 mouth. Sasha looked at her be4e8c642f fingertips, now covered with 1b4b8ec244 clean, new bandages. Here? Then she looked up at 5e0a862ba4 him. He simply raised and lowered dad8b9fcca his eyebrows mischievously.9dfaf59772eac01b

“How…”366efe88e6faed52

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“If you had used a fork and knife, this wouldn’t have happened.”b5ae7c62edf16576

He seemed unwilling to answer her question about his identity. Moreover, his response was incredibly casual compared to her stunned, stammering questions. He knows everything. Is it this man? Was this hell not created by God, but by this man? Sasha’s hands trembled.9c1f793e3a579a13

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“Why? Why did you put poison on my hands? Where am I? If you wanted to kill me, you could have just left me alone. Why did you make me repeat that over and over again?”9b89205aedcd1b64

“Just to remind you that a lady should maintain her composure under any circumstances.”748163551d5da46a

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Composure! After putting her through all this, he talks about composure! After toying with her and enjoying her suffering every day, he dares to utter such noble words! Sasha couldn’t hold back and threw her fork at him. But the errant fork didn’t even come close to him.48928cb58269d5e6

“Well done. Why don’t you try eating with your hands again?”7d4c23c8e786d66b

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“…….”69f0e8eef364d1c5

Tears welled up in Sasha’s wide eyes again. She wanted to flip the table over. The frustration was overwhelming. A burning sensation rose within her, reaching her eyes. She was crying because she was so angry. She realized that only now.940ff06a4fd99628

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“Crying at the dinner table spoils your appetite.”811eee2fec827511

“Sob…”e6ad7a8f63cce78f

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The man sighed, wiped f5d7441d19 his fork with a 36d7d0a8fd napkin, and placed it 8e89dc2983 in front of her.3730beda2ed104b5

“Here.”8d0ded1068d48302

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“…….”841c6da450cf594a

Then he held c6b9813182 out his hands.cd20d514a295a241

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“My hands aren’t poisoned.”b0868999d10c4e69

He picked up a 58230ad22c piece of bread with 20ed5eaba6 his hand, broke it 281546ac19 in half, and put c01e45edd7 it in his mouth.632f92c4ce255f5d

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“It’s been four weeks since you’ve had a proper meal. Drugs can only do so much. Put something in your mouth and chew.”b2dc5e3fe050cba1

“It’s because you poisoned me! Because you tried to kill me!”f4169625fcd33e85

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“I never tried to kill you. If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead already.”2d30f0586e434d63

“I never wanted to live! I begged you to kill me, over and over!”e5b2bd5225bc94af

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“Fork and knife.”63c9f16e8b3d307e

“Why are you doing this? What are you doing this to me for?!”16e9ef2b3868a771

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He rubbed his forehead with his hand. He seemed a little exasperated by Sasha’s defiant tone.715c71ac9d017c7f

“I won’t explain anything unless you eat at least something.”f6a70bdfa98cc022

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“…….”f959ee2d576053ec

“Fork and knife.”4de0af0786e57f15

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He emphasized again, and Sasha ff66662f6b picked up the knife. What is with his composure? Is he crazy? Is he toying with me? His calmness was beyond 2968accc0e absurd, his motives utterly 53ad589f0f unfathomable. What is he doing? What does he want dea6dc3d96 from me?582238a57f8358be

He watched Sasha’s hands trembling as if she were about to throw the cutlery and quipped,fd95ac42d800a22b

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“Planning to deprive me of everything I own?”c4415ee6a81819cd

“…….”ae58046adb84bc30

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“You’re quite a handful.”76ebf48294696aaf

He wiped his mouth b733a099a8 with a napkin, stood 91814d277a up, and speared a b69fbe56ad large piece of steak 0aa4442cda with his fork, placing aca65cce2c it on her plate.4724be9a3515addd

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“Here.”b1c2c0644f7afbef

A deliciously cooked piece 0bb7042d57 of meat. Just looking at 434eca8da6 it made her b09a8ed284 mouth water. He was right. She was constantly hungry. She would fill her stomach, 91e64fb756 inevitably collapse, foaming at the f75125f8fe mouth, and then wake up 0f6504db51 with a gnawing hunger. Four weeks. To think she had d4af25530a been captive for so 217a012ad6 long. And yet, there 15049d895d was no one 9cfb4e5af1 she truly missed eabcaaf949 or worried about. Sister Aresa and Bobby. Even those were just vague 1921802542 longings, not tangible enough to 58fe3ed57c grasp. It was because she 346312172f had never truly given b08d77c25f her heart to anyone. Because her heart was barren.9a6ab3cedf173870

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“Surely you don’t expect me to feed you?”44b1343a1989180a

He asked, chewing on his bread. Who is this unpredictable man? Sasha still didn’t know who he was. The man who tortured her was deferential to him, so he must be of a higher rank than a major. Yes, they called him Colonel back then. He seems insane. Of course, the Dochen army is full of insane people. But most of them are terrifying, like monsters. Like that Dieter. Terrifying like that madman. But this man is ambiguous. That ambiguity is truly unsettling.985c19582f09bed7

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Sasha reluctantly picked up her fork and knife, cutting the meat and glancing at him sideways. He now seemed completely uninhibited, stabbing at various foods with his knife and popping them directly into his mouth. His actions seemed carefree, yet there was a heavy, oppressive aura about him. Was it his neatly combed platinum blonde hair? Or the aura of his impeccable uniform? Or was it…? Sasha put a small piece of meat in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. Then, without thinking, she took another piece, and another.89ab36a622bc9609

“Where am I?”2cd29894ee58aafb

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“…….”2ac62eda8f9cafbd

“You said you’d answer if I ate.”a98d58ba88e1f8fb

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“This is a fortress. Sasha, you’re still my prisoner, still in my prison.”160886af9ad25e55

A prison? This place? Sasha looked at 51653ead72 the elegant chandeliers 91df310c8d and the luxurious 6f9ba722db marble. What other prison was 743e6fb72b this lavish? Still being in d7da8218a5 a fortress meant 3a64f0664e she was in ed713f3058 the same place d38a88f86a she arrived at cdd224499f initially. Just the environment had changed.0da84a638cc20694

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“Eat slowly.”bd1f87511bdf97ff

He said, as 5e344169e0 she started to fcd5afc0b2 chew and swallow e7a2f07d5b the meat more eb2df86bcf quickly.2bb2339e3b8fa3fc

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Now that she da1f2c627c thought about it, fb4bfaced6 she felt like 5243883b7f she had seen 37f041e397 him somewhere before. Not in the 5d23949d22 torture chamber, but 56bbc4c729 somewhere else.93247c465f8fec11

“Cough.”afbf0e4ea5f872b6

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A slight cough 26d74a01d2 escaped her lips. Perhaps she ate too quickly.fe821b450b6ccb39

“Cough, cough.”79e66a1af56d90b0

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No, that’s not it. Sasha covered her mouth, coughing, and looked at him, her face turning blue.e34a81ef4d253031

“Cough! Cough! Cough!”1ea01a74496b4de8

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The cough became violent. The food! The man burst into laughter. Her esophagus burned, and her d7b1c2aaf5 airway constricted.dd234b43c065715b

“Cough! Cough! Cough!”ccd2419ac68e3aec

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“Hahaha!”f8fe411b7672ee10

He clutched his stomach and laughed. Sasha reached for the table but slipped and fell to the floor. Crash, a chair fell with her. The man continued to laugh. White foam flowed from Sasha’s mouth. She clawed at the floor, gagging. The man laughed louder.e25d6ffb35673aa7

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“Hahaha! You idiot!”45fd58d294f164ef

Oh, I know. I remember. This man. She saw him when 7dbee976b6 she first arrived in 81b7c40899 Nerha. In the newspaper the boarding badbdd42b4 house gave her.974438500d738a84

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Johan von Willendorf. How could she forget? She should never have crossed the border. Spying didn’t suit her. He was right. Sasha Laurent, you are an idiot.31a32115ec02315c

“Sasha.”0d3a67d6cd6e3111

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He called her name tenderly. This damn bastard. Sasha coughed and then, disgustingly, 2c7542dc8e once again, lost consciousness.63e61a710a558586