HKWM | Chapter 25

Throughout the journey home, Noah didn’t utter a single word, and Kimaris, relieved to escape the awkward atmosphere, quickly donned an apron and started preparing dinner. But he seemed to be washing his hands unusually long, which left me feeling oddly uncomfortable. He’s always meticulous and clean, sure, but today it felt like there was another reason.

“…No way.”

The thought irked me. It’s not like anyone enjoyed that! While I was stewing over this, Noah, who had been unusually quiet, approached me.

“…Jin.”

“Yeah?”

“What were you doing with Maris earlier?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were holding hands… and hugging.”

“We weren’t hugging…”

We were just standing close; there was no actual hugging. If we had been, Kimaris would’ve probably taken a bath as soon as we got home instead of just washing his hands.

“So, why?”

Ah, was he curious why I suddenly became friendly when I usually act like I’d die if I got too close? I quickly explained, worried that the child might misunderstand.

“You said you didn’t like Adam. But Adam likes me.”

“He likes you?”

“Yeah.”

“What does ‘liking’ mean?”

Stumped by Noah’s question, I scratched my head. It was hard to explain such an abstract emotion.

“Liking someone means you think about them a lot, you want to be with them all the time, you miss them when they’re not around, you worry about them if something bad might happen… Basically, it means you care about and cherish the other person.”

Noah furrowed his brow slightly, then asked after a pause,

“…Jin, have you ever liked someone?”

I was about to say yes but closed my mouth. I thought I knew what liking someone meant, what love was.

‘Did they really love me?’

I couldn’t be sure it was right to answer that question, considering the doubts I once had with someone I promised to marry.

‘…Of course, I love…’

That person didn’t believe my words. So, I wanted to ask them what they thought love was, how certain they were about it. If what I felt was wrong, then teach me the right way to love.

But I couldn’t ask someone who looked more hurt than me. Maybe they just couldn’t handle me, always too alone to bear.

The only answer I could give Noah was a simple one.

“…I’m not sure.”

Maybe I didn’t understand love or affection either. Now, I couldn’t be sure of anything anymore.

“Anyway. That’s why I asked Maris to pretend to be my partner, to make Adam back off on his own.”

“A partner?”

Noah’s eyes widened in surprise, creasing his forehead. He seemed too young to be pondering so hard. Watching silently, he didn’t add anything more and just went to his room. But his last look seemed…

“…angry, maybe?”

And rightly so, as Noah’s door remained closed even when dinner time arrived. He even told Kimaris, who came to call him for dinner, that he’d skip it. For Noah, who usually insists on eating well to grow faster, this was a first.

Forcing someone to eat when they don’t want to is wrong, so I knocked on his door to hear his reason.

Knock knock-

But no answer came. Could he be sick?

“Noah, I’m coming in.”

There was no command to stay out, so it should be fine. I interpreted it as such and entered. Noah was lying on the bed, turned away from me.

Even as I sat lightly on the bed, he only twitched but didn’t get up. I wasn’t sure why, but he was clearly upset. Teenage mood swings, maybe?

“Why aren’t you eating? Not hungry, or just not feeling it?”

Noah mumbled a response after a moment.

“Who’s closer, a partner or family?”

“Why ask that all of a sudden?”

Noah sat up slowly but still kept his body turned slightly away from me. Was he mad at me? What had I done?

“…Just wondering.”

“That varies from person to person.”

It sounded like a half-hearted answer, but it was the best I could do. Family was a tricky topic for me to discuss. It wasn’t because I was a demon; even when I was human, Lee Hyunjin, I never really had a proper family.

My last partner, whom I had planned to marry, and I had separated. That meant I also didn’t really understand what family meant, how to define it.

“It’s not that I don’t want to answer; I just don’t know. I don’t have a family myself, so how would I know?”

“You don’t have a family?”

“Archdemons are created by the Demon Lord, the father of all demons.”

Technically speaking, unlike regular demons who share some kinship through shared demonic energy, archdemons like me don’t really have what one might call a family.

“But you’ll understand one day. You’ll have both a partner and a family someday.”

Maybe having lost once would make any future family all the more precious.

“…So you don’t have a partner or family?”

“Yep, that’s right.”

It wasn’t a lie, but why did it feel like I was being roasted? Despite my sour mood, Noah seemed to lighten up a bit and turned more towards me.

“So, are you going to eat now?”

“…I still don’t want to.”

“Really?”

“Jin.”

“Yeah?”

“Teach me how to age faster.”

He wasn’t asking how to get stronger, but how to age… That was so ridiculous that I tousled my hair, to which he surprisingly dodged my hand.

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“I’ve told you many times. I’m not a baby, and I’m not young.”

You just asked how to age faster…

“Just a few years.”

“What?”

“You said humans are just kids to you.”

“I did.”

“I’m more handsome than Adam.”

“…Yep, you are.”

“And I’ll be bigger and stronger than Kimaris and smarter than Phoras.”

His ambitions were grand, but I couldn’t quite grasp what Noah really wanted to say. Did he suddenly want to assert he was the best regardless of his age? Knowing it meant he was still young, I laughed like a sigh.

“Why are you coveting strange things? You’re not Greed.”

Wanting to grow up fast seemed to be a typical childish impatience.

“One day, you’ll miss today. Humans value what they can’t have, especially if it’s time, which even the gods can’t reverse.”

I felt that way when I was younger, eager to grow up, believing adulthood would solve everything. To me, adults were those who could easily tackle difficult problems. But once I actually grew up, I realized I hadn’t changed much from my younger self.

Tripped up by hardships, scared of failure, hoping tomorrow wouldn’t come—I was still that coward, no matter how much time passed. Responsibilities only made my steps heavier, not more mature. Sometimes I thought I should have wished to grow up slower.

“So, growing up slowly isn’t bad either.”

In that vein, I’ll let you skip meals today. I added jokingly, and Noah finally got up from the bed.

“No, I’ll eat.”

Such a contrarian…

“Alright, let’s go then.”

Noah led the way, still looking a bit downcast. Just before leaving the room, he asked,

“Will you ever have a partner or family?”

“I’ve never thought about it.”

“If, just if, you did have one, what kind of person would you like?”

I suppose they wouldn’t be human.

Who knows what the future holds, but I likely wouldn’t form deep relationships with humans, whose lifespans barely span a century. With my enhanced demonic cognition, the happy times would haunt me for much longer, turning into longing.

“Well, someone I can be with for a long time.”

Maybe someone I’d love enough to want to be with, even for a fleeting moment. Yet, my hope was that such a person would never come along.

For someone who had spent most of their time alone, it would be easier to endure loneliness than to live longing for someone unreachable.

In the days following our conversation, Noah remained withdrawn. He wouldn’t tell me why, which was incredibly frustrating. I racked my brain for any mistake I might have made but came up empty. Maybe it really was just teenage hormones…

Whoosh-

Then, I sensed a call directed at me. It wasn’t the usual summoning circle but one mixed with my energy. Remembering the blacksmith, I jumped up from my seat.

“Good. Giving him a sword might cheer him up.”

I headed straight to Noah’s study room. Noah, taking lessons from Phoras, tilted his head at my sudden appearance.

“Noah, want to go out with me? I’ve got a gift for you.”

“…What?”

I had planned to go alone since it involved a deal and potential danger, but it might be better to bring him along for a short trip and give him a gift. I hoped it would be a good change of scenery for the sullen Noah recently.

“Where?”

His eyes widened, clearly intrigued. I smiled and reached out my hand.

“To the Imperial Capital.”